Tag: pickle

Victoria Stakes, Muswell Hill, London

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An unassuming cheeseburger that surprises and delights

Burger source 

I was visiting a friend in North London and he recommended this local pub that specialised in ‘meat’ (slight overstatement, despite the ‘stakes’ in the title); rather this is classic North London gastropub fayre – locally, ethically sourced produce, prepared with love and friendly-local vibes. Lovely atmosphere, especially if you’re the sort of person who likes extra botanicals in his gin.

The order 

The burger is as follows: short-rib cheeseburger, chipotle mayo, pickle, tomato, onion, lettuce, [red cabbage] slaw & fries.

The meat of it 

It looked a little homely on the plate. Getting a decent angle on the burger in the lighting was hard – it’s an immense (8oz at a guess) patty, the bun looks deceptively ordinary and curiously toasted. The chipotle mayo looks concerningly thin and the skin-on fries – well, they look spot on. Out of shot – you’ll see a quenelle (don’t ask me why) of red cabbage.

Cross section time, ‘scuse the lighting.

The heft on the burger is immediately apparent; as is the enormous buffalo tomato slice, the thick slices of pickle, the bright, fresh lettuce, the softness of the bun, the coarse grind on the beef – coupled with its well-doneness – the even melt on the cheese and the puddles of grease on the plate. A lot was adding up.

First bite… it’s juicy; there’s a sour-spicy tang from the chipotle mayo. The pickle adds crunch but is very mild; the salad adds juicy brightness. The cheese adds a savoury goo; the beef itself has good texture; perhaps slightly underseasoned and slightly overcooked but it doesn’t suffer greatly for it. The bun is extraordinary – soft and pliant whilst being robust enough to hold up to the gravitational field that the burger exudes, at risk as it is of collapsing into its own event horizon. The combination is really very good – sweet, salty, sour, fresh – whilst at the same time beefy, gooey and indulgent – it hits a lot of good notes.

The sides – the fries are excellent – well cooked, crisp and fresh with just enough potato-ey bite, perfectly seasoned. The coleslaw – meh. Mushy and indistinct, without the crunch and zing you’ll get from a more traditional ‘slaw. Room for improvement!

Overall – a really good experience. Good service, good food, well prepared in a lovely environment. Recommend!

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5.5/5  – something really special here
Build – 4/5 – it does get messy – a lot of beef
Burger – 4/5 – cook it less, season it more, and possibly shrink it slightly 
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 4.5/5 – small deduction for the unimpressive quenelle of coleslaw   
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger, fries and coleslaw – with a pint and a tip, £28 a head. Not cheap but not ridiculous.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would definitely go again. 

The deets 

1 Muswell Hill. A map will get you there, as will this link to Victoria Stakes’ website.

Manna, Arcade Tottenham Court Road, London

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Small but perfectly formed halal burger

Burger source 

Trying to find somewhere convenient, available and new to review for this blog isn’t trivial. But Manna reviewed well elsewhere and sounded delightful, bringing inspiration from “diner culture and regional fast food joints in the States.” The website promises that: “every dish on the menu is designed to be the best and most luscious verision of itself.”

Well, let’s see.

The order 

I had the smash burger – smashed patty, American cheese, mustard, ketchup, mayo, pickles, diced onions. Simple – but hard to fault. I then proceeded to get confused about the menu and tried the shawarma fries that were not from Manna but from Shatta and Toum, another resident restaurant in Arcade, so I won’t review that here – I did try one of my dining companion’s waffle fries, which are a Manna creation so I’ll talk to those instead.

The meat of it 

Let’s look again at the burger.

Scale is hard to gauge here, but it is small. Really small. Palm of my hand small. But you can see promising signs – the hard sear you hope for in a patty smash. A delightful melt on the cheese. A soft shine on the bun, the glisten of the grease escaping onto the wrapper, and small rivulets of the mustard/ketchup/mayo sauce, seeking a path to freedom.

In cross section, you see some good and some bad things. The bun is so soft, it’s compressed to be wafer thin. The patty is coarse ground and delightfully pink. The cheese is oozing. There’s a good spread of pickle in there, and the onion and sauces. It’s promising. The main bad thing, other than the compressed bun… once again, it’s small. There’s no heft, its displacement is low.

First taste… the crunch of the hard sear, the healthy seasoning, the soft, sweet bun gives way. Delightful, unctuous, salty, gooey beefiness comes in each mouthful. The bun – holds integrity, despite its compression, and in relative to the sliver-like patty – well, it is actually well proportioned. The bright, fresh pickle and crisp onion adds brightness and further sweet crunch. The swirl of mayo, mustard and ketchup essentially puts an In-and-Out-reminiscent ‘animal style’ onto your taste buds. The combination is near perfect. I’m left wanting more.

After a £10 tiny burger, a £5 portion of waffle fries delivers everything you want waffle fries to deliver. Well seasoned, crisp on the outside, soft, hot and fresh interior. So much surface area holds so much flavour and crunch, with pliant, well cooked potato on the inside. Full points.

To drink – I had a mojito. Not always my drink of choice but they used Santiago de Cuba run – a favourite – and it was properly reminiscent of a trip to Cuba in the early 2000s with my friends, drinking the herba-bueno garnished local Cuban mojitos – though at £11.50, substantially more expensive than the $2 cocktails in Havana.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 – docking half a point for it being too small 
Taste –  5/5  
Sides – 4.5/5 – value punishment, £5 for waffle fries was a lot, despite their wondrousness   
Value – 4/5 – £15 for burger and side, ish.  

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – highly recommended. 

The deets 

There’s a couple of Arcades – one just outside Tottenham Court Road tube, on New Oxford St, the other in Battersea. More info at the website, here.

Cosy Club, Northgate Street, Chester

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It was fine. I said fine, OK?

Burger source 

I was struggling – there were a lot of good things on the menu of the Cosy Club – creative dishes, some healthy, some indulgent, almost all more exciting than a burger. I got myself down to a few options… and when I asked for help from the waitress, she guided me to the burger. FATE.

The restaurant choice itself was guided by the need for a family-friendly venue as we overnighted in Chester on our way further North to meet up with a friend for a few days. We’d had a brilliant afternoon at Chester Zoo so naturally the kids (well, Zoe, our youngest anyway) was/were somewhat tuckered out, so we didn’t venture far from our hotel…

The Club itself is a chain, with a fair few sites, though this – new – branch was a first for me. Despite the fact there’s one in my local town…

The order 

Modern fixtures with a classic trim, this restaurant had style if not a great deal of atmosphere on a sleepy Wednesday night in the Summer holidays. Service was brilliant – fast, polite, friendly and handled Amanda’s nut allergy and the kids miscellaneous fussiness with no complaint.

I went for the House Burger – replete with signature burger sauce, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle with fries and slaw – and added cheese to top it off. At around £16, it’s not for the faint hearted…

The meat of it 

[Main review] 

Presentation is not bad. The salad’s in the right place, the bun is toasted (perhaps a bit too much), there’s a good melt on the cheese, the slaw looks fresh and bright – and not drenched in mayo – and the fries look decent. Let’s go in for the close up.

Ok – the stack is good. The bun is soft and compacts a fair bit – but the excessive toasting helps it maintain structural integrity. The beef – you can see – has a coarse grind, but is very compacted. The salad remains bright, the cheese binds, and a good amount of burger sauce frames it. Let’s go to the first taste…

The char comes through immediately – both from the slightly blackened bun and the firm, hard sear the burger clearly had in the cook. But it’s not overwhelming and actually adds a pleasant smokiness. The burger is a little chewy, overcooked and slightly underseasoned, but has good flavour. The burger sauce adds a brilliant binding sweetness, the cheese an extra umami oopmh, and there’s fresh crispness from the salad. The pickle adds a – slight – vinegar tang – it’s not a paragon of its kind but is fine – and the whole comes together better than the sum of its parts would have you expect. But it’s expensive for an ‘ok’, pub style burger, especially when you consider…

  • the slaw – uninspired, underseasoned and possibly under-lemoned, this adds crunch but little flavour.
  • the fries – well cooked, self-seasoned skin-on fries, these are good… crisp on the outside, fluffy potato flavour within – but it’s not a generous portion, simply plated to look like it is

So good, but not great.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3.5/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 3/5
Taste –  3/5  
Sides – 3.5/5 – let down by the slaw and portion size   
Value – 2.5/5 – too much for a thing that was just OK.  

Burger rating – 3/5 – probably should have had the seabass Amanda went for – looked amazing. 

The deets 

Find your local here if you’re keen – probably skip the burger, fine though it was – it wasn’t special and wasn’t worth the sticker price.

Fountain & Ink, Stamford Street, London SE1

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Near perfect patty smash double cheese burger, magic fries

Burger source 

I was searching for a convenient place to meet a friend near Blackfriars that we hadn’t tried before, and this bar showed up with positive reviews. It had a smash burger on the menu, and I thought little else of it till we got there.

The order 

The Smash burger describes itself thus:

Smash Burger, double patty, double cheese, onion, pickles, skin on fries

I think it’s fair to say that’s understated. Let’s see how it panned out.

The meat of it 

The understatement carries on through the plating. This is… well, a little basic. But practical – space on the plate, everything doing exactly what it needs to do. Looks nice, though – strong melt on the cheese, lovely crust on the patty, good gloss on the bun, tidy presentation. Can’t complain.

And the cross section…

It’s brilliant. Soft bun, good density, perfectly balanced with a burger that may seem a little dry but isn’t. The stack is literally perfect – nothing to fault here – very well assembled.

First bite…. Soft bun, well seasoned crust, juicy burgers bound in melty cheese. Brilliant texture. Second bite got me in range of the sharp, smooth, mustardy burger sauce, which adds depth and heat. The meat is coarse ground but vigorously smashed, and well seasoned. There’s a light hint of meaty funk that makes me think of dry-aged steak.

The pickle added an absolutely delightful crunch, though could have added even more sweetness and acidity to balance out the savoury smorgasbord of the rest of the burger. Utterly delightful – I have to really search for challenge, and if the worst thing you can say about a burger is that you’d have liked the pickle to be a bit more pickley, and for there to be a bit more of the delightful burger sauce… well, it’s top drawer.

The fries… were unexpected. They looked like completely standard skin on fries. They probably were fairly standard skin on fries. But something in either the potato of the preparation gave pretty well the perfect contrast of crisp, savoury, well seasoned outer shell with a good level of crunch… and an unbelievably smooth, pillowy interior. Like someone had fried mashed potato but magically added the structural integrity of a potato chip. Delicious, moreso dunked in the mayo and ketchup we asked for.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5 
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 
Taste –  5/5  
Sides – 5/5 – those fries are crack, man
Value – 4.5/5 – £17 for burger, fries and service feels right for this type of bar in this part of town.  

Burger rating – 5/5 – wanted to order another one immediately

The deets 

On the walk down from Waterloo to Blackfriars, Fountain and Ink is marginally closer to the Waterloo end. A really cool venue, good lighting, music, beer selection, seating and the rest; definitely somewhere I’d be happy to go back to.

Black Bear Burger, Exmouth Market, London

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Every bit worth the hype

Burger source 

It’s a lovely start-up story – from flipping burgers at the weekend to multiple restaurants and a pop-up across London, Black Bear’s popularity has been blooming over the last couple of years. My attention was drawn to it, because I’m either trendy or just a sucker for good marketing (depending on how you look at it), as I’ve noticed a wave of Tik Tok reviews for the joint, including a very complimentary one from Jon the Food Don.

Anyway, lengthy origin story on their website. Some excerpts focussed on the burgers themselves:

EACH DAY OUR BAKERY DELIVERS OUR BESPOKE BUNS FRESH IN THE MORNING AND OUR BUTCHER MAKES OUR BURGERS TO OUR SPEC. ASIDE FROM THAT, WE MAKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN HOUSE FRESH EVERY DAY.

AT BLACK BEAR BURGER WE ARE COMMITTED TO USING HIGH WELFARE, HIGH QUALITY BRITISH MEAT AND BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT MAKES OUR BURGERS TASTE SO SPECIAL. STEW’S FAMILY RUN A SMALL BEEF FARM IN DEVON AND HE IS PASSIONATE ABOUT ANIMAL WELFARE; HOW ANIMALS ARE LOOKED AFTER AND PREPARED IS SO IMPORTANT AND THIS MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE WITH HOW YOUR MEAT TASTES! THIS IS WHY WE SOURCE OUR MEAT FROM OUR AWARD WINNING BUTCHER WHO HAS THE SAME ETHOS AS US.

Black Bear website

Ok then.

The order 

Right, I went for the Miso burger (dry aged beef, cheese, smoked bacon, miso honey butter mayo, onions) and fries (hand cut, skin on). I also shared some brisket spring rolls (fried wonton with 12 hr brisket, cheese, & smoked bacon, with garlic mayo and pickles) and wings with bourbon BBQ & maple sauce. A *lot* of food, accompanied by a Maple [Syrup] Old Fashioned.

The meat of it 

Well, it’s a pretty thing, isn’t it? toasted bun, love the sesame seeds, glorious melt on the cheese, crisp bacon peeking out the edges, miso mayo coating generous but not ridiculous. How does it weigh up in cross section?

Well, it’s messy. The mayo splurges over everything, but the texture is fab, the bun soft but sturdy, the meat tender and not overly greasy despite what must be an (un)healthy fat/lean ratio.

First taste: amazing umami – crisp, crunchy bacon adds brilliant texture; the meat, coarse ground, loose packed and perfectly cooked, is juicy and rich, with the mildest dry-age funk adding complexity but without undue fuss. The miso mayo adds an edgey depth of flavour, boosting the umami even further, and the soft bun holds it all together beautifully. Mildest of criticisms; the bun: meat ratio was a little high in the bun’s favour but only marginally, and the crust on the burger was ever so slightly soft – a harder sear, or a shorter steam to melt the cheese perhaps? Don’t know. But really very little to fault; this is a burger you can inhale if you’re not careful – I had to pace myself and savour it.

As to the sides…

The fries were decent; not universally crisp, but well seasoned and full of potato flavour. The brisket spring roll tasted authentically of a cheeseburger but – despite being a savoury fiend in general – I thought it was overpowering. Too much salt – cheese, brisket, and bacon – in a crispy, salty shell, with only mayo and pickles to temper it? There’s a very credible cheeseburger flavour in there which I think I’d have mellowed out with a burger relish or something else to cut the salt just a smidge. Texture is spot on – crisp shell, melty, tender meat, gooey cheese (though I admit – other than the salt impact, I didn’t feel the crunch of the bacon with this one). The home made pickles were lush – sweet, sour and crisp. The wings – I thought were disappointing, though Simon enjoyed them – they were over fried and a little burnt around the edges, dark brown instead of a golden colour, and the BBQ sauce was a bit thin and sickly for my liking.

We were given a teeny tiny soft serve scoop to finish the meal, which was a lovely touch, and it was a welcome relief from the salt bomb of the evening.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 5/5 
Taste –  5/5  
Sides – 4/5 – 2.5 for the wings. Everything else was good!   
Value – 4/5 – It was pricey – £14.50 for burger and fries, then more for the sides, but so delicious  

Burger rating – 5/5 – one of the best I’ve had in London 

The deets 

Multiple locations, in Brixton, Shoreditch Box Park, Exmouth Market, Canary Wharf etc., – find your nearest here. Walking back from Exmouth Market to Farringdon, check out the views, man. Love London in the Summertime.

Lambs Club, 132 W 44th Street, Manhattan NYC

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A fine burger; juicy, savoury, lightly overseasoned

Burger source

Chef Zakarian, one of the partners of the Lambs’ Club, is clearly a passionate foodie.  A serial entrepreneur, the Lambs Club is his latest venture and there are a wide range of menus available to cater for all tastes.

We were eating off the main bar menu, following a triumphant viewing of my brother’s new musical – JAGGED LITTLE PILL – at the Broadhurst theatre on Broadway.

The order

The sole burger, is TLC Burger (The Lambs’ Club Burger, natch), which features Cabot Sharp Cheese, special sauce and the optional Applewood Smoked Bacon.

The meat of it

Let’s take a closer look.

img_20191129_234737

You can see the spectacular melt on the cheese, covering the burgers in their entirety. The bacon is super crisp, poking out of a toasted crusty roll. Unusual in this day of brioche.

And the magical cross section look.

img_20191129_234829

Whilst the stack is a little uneven, the burgers are cooked to a perfect medium, despite the thin patties. A good fat ratio means they are juicy and ooze concentrated flavour onto the plate. The salad provides some meagre protection for the bun, but the sheer juiciness of the meat is almost too much – it barely holds up.

On first tasting, the bacon shatters under bite. It’s cooked to a complete crisp, which is possibly – even to my tastes – a little too far. The coarse ground burger is juicy and luscious but too heavily seasoned; coupled with the sharp cheddar and shards of crispy bacon, it’s a bit much. Almost; it does work. But is calling out for a little sweetness. The burger sauce is barely evident, the crispy salad lost in the melange of savoury flavour, and the side-pickle – too pallid and lacking in sweetness or sharpness to add a great deal.

All that said, the overall experience is brilliant. The crusty roll holds up – just – and adds a good contrast to the intense umami of the burger. The sharpness of the cheese cuts through the flavour profile, adding whilst lifting the overall experience. The melt binds the burger, and even though it’s a little too far – the crunchy shards of bacon add excellent textural contrast. It’s a joyous burger.

As to the fries.

img_20191129_234743

They look kind of amazing; heavily seasoned in ‘pastrami spices’ – probably pepper, salt, sugar, paprika and a couple of other unknowable things, they seemed crisp and inviting… but were in fact a little underdone, and whilst unquestionably tasty, would have benefited from a little more frying for crunch. A lovely compliment to the burger, though, soaking up juices on the plate and adding yet more umami and partnering beautifully with the home made ketchup for a little sweet contrast.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5
Build – 3/5
Burger – 4.5/5
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 3.5/5
Value – 3/5 – $35 for burger and fries at full price is toppy, however discounts kick in for members of the club

Burger rating – 4/5 – a really very special burger, you won’t be disappointed

The deets

The Lambs Club is in the heart of theatreland in Broadway, a few minutes stroll from Times’ Square. More here.

Yen Burger, London Bridge

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A breathtaking burger experience

Burger source

Unlike many of the burgers I review here, discovered from word of mouth buzz or from other peoples’ top ten lists (or very occasionally, because I was pitched it by their PR folk), Yen Burger is a place that I just spotted, a short walk from my office, on the way to London Bridge. I was initially put off – Japan-spiced burger? What fresh hell of fascist-fusion cuisine was this? But a colleague was braver than I and passed on the recommendation when I was looking for a new local place to check out.

And so André and I decided to give it a go.

The burger’s origins start in the mind of food entrepreneur Yen Nguyen, who, apparently after success elsewhere in Germany and the UK (a Google search reveals little about her other than her association with Yen Burger), decided that the gap in London’s thriving burger scene was the Japanese twist. And so, Yen Burger was born.

Here’s the official spiel, from the website:

This brand new concept will offer premium Asian-influenced burgers. Starting with the ‘Yen Burger’ which features a 100% wagyu beef patty, fresh pickles, smoked turkey bacon, cheese and shiso leaf, it’s the ultimate fusion burger and a great introduction to Yen’s offerings. Other options include ‘The Finest Chick’ which combines coconut panko chicken breast and homemade slaw with the reviving shiso leaf and a zingy mango sauce…. Each burger is fresh made in-house from the highest quality Aberdeen Black Angus or Wagyu beef, 100% sustainable cod or vegetable alternatives.

The order

I went for the eponymous Yen Burger. 6oz of Wagyu beef, pickles, lettuce, red onion, ‘Yen sauce’, turkey bacon and shiso leaf. I don’t even know what a couple of those ingredients are, but I was excited.

We had ‘Dashi chips’ on the side (dusted with Paprika seasoning) and some chicken Gyoza because, why not?

The meat of it

Let’s take a moment to admire this.

img_20190927_125818

Ok, so it’s maybe not the most beautiful burger you’ve ever seen at this point. But let’s admire the components. Thick cut pickles. Coarse, crusty burger patty. Bright, fresh shiso and onion. Perfectly melted cheese. And this soft, white, unsweetened bun, inviting you in.

img_20190927_125858

In cross section, it becomes more special. The Yen sauce provides a sensuous coating. The meat is coarse ground, loosely packed and cooked to a perfect medium. The turkey bacon is there – subtle, but present. I coudn’t wait to taste this burger.

And OH. I was NOT disappointed. The Wagyu is so utterly, amazingly delicate it practically melts in your mouth. But not before you hit the crunch of the perfectly seasoned outer crust; the soft, plain bread providing structure but not flavour, complimenting the sweet/salty contrast of crust and rich, pink burger inner. The Yen sauce lubricates, a sweet/savoury glue. The cheese adds further umami, subtly, whilst the hint of smoke and crispiness is added by the turkey bacon; less powerful than the traditional pork variants. Additional sharp sweetness from the delicious pickles and crunch from the red onion. WOW. I had to slow myself down – I wanted to devour this and order another.

The Asian ‘spices’ – subtle. A hint of something of Japan in the background of the flavour profile. Nothing overt or tacky – this is a traditional burger with Japanese accents. Cooked to perfection, in perfect harmony with itself. Outstanding.

The dashi fries need comment. They look good, right? But seasoned fries can go wrong, I hear you say. They can be overwhelmingly flavoured and over-salted.

No, say I. Not in this case. The paprika seasoning adds flavour, sure, and these are well salted fries. But the exceptional richness of the potato flavour was unexpected – these are tasty fries – as is the perfect crisp exterior, and the soft, lush, fluffy interior. In absolutely perfect balance. Not a hint of greasiness, light, crisp and delicious. And, when the salt got a little much, Heinz came to the rescue.

The only dish that mildly disappointed was the chicken gyoza. Over-greasy from the fryer, the minced chicken within was dry and lacking in flavour. The soy sauce was strong and the balance felt out. Perhaps it was an indulgence too far.

Overall, an utterly extraordinary and unexpected experience. André reported that the Asian spiced burger was also excellent, and the £15 a head tab felt like good value for the feast (we shared Gyoza and fries between us).

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 5/5
Build – 4.5/5 – looked messy but flawless
Burger – 5/5
Taste – 5/5
Sides – 4.5/5 – docking half a point for the gyoza, but the fries were perfect
Value – 5/5 – £15 for burger and side, ish.

Burger rating – 5/5 – absolutely one of the best burgers (and fries) I’ve ever had. Would return without hesitation.

The deets

At the start of Southwark Street, just by London Bridge, you’ll find this nestled to other burger joints; Honest Burgers and Breakfast Club, as well as Borough Market’s own Roast to Go. All are within a potato’s throw of here.

But go here. In the words of Keanu Reeves, it’s breathtaking.

Refuel @ Soho Hotel, Soho, London

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Tasty but messy beef and chicken burgers

Burger source

A seasonal special, the Soho Hotel has let its chefs go wild and create their burgery delights for the Summer. Only available until 30th September! Here’s the blurb:

This August, the talented chefs at Refuel Bar & Restaurant have each created their own ultimate burger inspired by flavours from around the world.

Try Renaldo’s ‘Greek Island Paradise Burger’, a lamb burger with rosemary, lemon, oregano, feta, tomato and grilled onion with pickle and cucumber tzatziki or ‘Shannon’s Dirty Burger’, a twist on the classic created with a double beef patty, Applewood smoked cheese, golden onions, smoked bacon and topped with a blue cheese dip.  Each of the specially created summer burgers are paired with a refreshing Asahi beer.

More at the website.

We were curious and needed a new burger place to try in Soho, so thought, why not?

The order

Jimjamjebobo and I shared SAM’S EIFFEL TOWER BURGER (Buttermilk chicken, streaky bacon, caramelised onion with smoked paprika mayonnaise and crispy onion rings) and SHANNON’S DIRTY BURGER

(Double beef patty, Applewood smoked cheese, golden onions, smoked bacon, blue cheese dip). Sides of truffle Parmesan polenta chips, french fries and ‘hand cut chips’ were shared. Asahi came bundled with the burger.

The meat of it

To each burger in turn, then the sides.

Shannon, let’s talk.

I mean, what do you even call this stack? The double burgers are SIDE BY SIDe instead of on top of each other, bottoming (tomato, salad) cause the burger to slide around further, the toppings are literally falling out the side – it’s presentationally a mess. But… that bacon, onion, melty cheese, fresh salad – all looks good. What lies within?

A reasonably coarse grind but very little pink (oddly, Jimbo’s half looked better). It’s still sliding all over the place but we’re ready to taste now…

And gosh, it comes together. The meat is uncomplex but well seasoned and with a good crust. The moisture from the sweet bun, the cheese and the fresh salad makes up for the slightly overcooked burger. The cheese is extremely gooey and adds a lovely mouthfeel. The bacon is ultra-crisp streaky and adds a delightful crunch to each bite. Shannon, it may have looked a mess and been difficult to eat (at one point, I just flung the tomato out), but it was delicious. That said, I could do nothing with the blue cheese sauce. It was too thick to dip, too solid to spread, and it added nothing to the burger. It came on the side and was left on the side.

Now, for Sam’s turn.

In contrast, Sam’s stack is rather more elegant. Look at that cheese! Look at that bacon! Plated beautifully, well done. Look at that crisp breaded chicken, topped with crispy bacon… mmm…

So, to the tasting:

The chicken has a crisp, if somewhat uninspired breading – buttermilk chicken in my head has associations of the Deep South of America, but instead this is (as the name would suggest) a rather more elegant, continental breading. The meat is unbelievably moist, perfectly cooked. The cheese is a delight, gooey and luscious, binding the flavours rather beautifully. The bacon is hard to detect; it’s sparse and can’t compete with the other flavours, so was probably surplus to requirements. The burger did need the paprika mayonnaise that came on the side (it was just a bit too much salt without it) but I found that rather strong flavoured and so went without. Really a very credible effort.

As to the sides… A few to mention.

The coleslaw – which came with the burgers – was a bit too mayo-heavy for me and didn’t really add to the experience.

The pickle (aka Pickle Rick, because it was enormous and we like Rick and Morty): was great; fresh, crisp, and, well, big. Eaten on the side, I would have preferred pickle slices in the Dirty burger, I think. But I enjoyed it nonetheless.

The polenta fries… were grim. But that’s because I don’t like polenta fries. They were crisp, the Parmesan topping added a salty tang, but I don’t like truffle and I don’t like polenta. They are just a poor imitation of a thick cut chip and they should stop making them.

The regular fries… were just ok. Well seasoned but not universally crisp, and some of them were a little overcooked.

The hand cut fries… were too significant fractions of a potato for me to enjoy. Hand cut just a little bit thinner next time, I didn’t want roast potato size wedges with a burger then, and I never will.

And last, but definitely not least – the onion rings. Possibly the best onion rings I’ve ever had. A thick round of sweet onion encased in a crisp, extremely well seasoned batter. A lovely contrast of freshness and decadence. It came with Sam’s Eiffel Tower burger, so wasn’t an orderable side, but it should be.

Monkey finger rating

To each in turn…

Shannon:

Bun – 4/5
Build – 1/5
Burger – 3/5
Taste – 4/5

And Sam:

Bun – 4/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste – 4/5

Sides – 3.5/5 – even the delightful onion rings can’t redeem the other chips
Value – 3.5/5 – £22.50 for burger, sides, and an Asahi.

Burger rating – 4/5 – overall, really a good experience. The Soho Hotel is a nice place to eat, there was a good vibe (even on a Tuesday), the service was great and the burgers were interesting. Try it out whilst the offer is on, and you will walk away happy and (very) full.

The deets

Just off Dean Street in Soho, look for Richmond Mews. You can book online.

Coin Laundry, 70 Exmouth Market, London

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A tremendous disappointment of a burger; dry, overcooked, underseasoned, under-topped

Burger source

So when looking for new burgers, I routinely Google other people’s ‘best burgers’ list and this one came up number two on Esquire.com. The review is extraordinary, the photo lush. I mean, look at it:

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I’m reminded, in a movie reference that will show my age, of Michael Douglas in Falling Down.

There is something wrong with this picture.

Regardless, this is what Coin Laundry’s website has to say about it:

“Cheeseburger, hot smoked pork belly, red onion, kohlrabi pickle, fried potatoes.” There’s no real clue as to the origin of the burger itself, other than the restaraunts own claims that it uses: “ingredients … from the best local suppliers…. Our meat and veg are organic where possible.”

So, there’s that.

The order

I was there for a birthday meal with my sister and some friends and, whilst Sheila joined me on the burger the others ordered a selection of sharing plates from the menu. I’m not going to get into the small plates except in passing; so the order was really just the burger for me. I’d asked about the potatoes; generally I’m more of a fries guy but was sold on them by the waitress: “they’re, like small roast potato chunks,” sounded good at the time.

The meat of it

So, the burger. First impressions, not positive:

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The stack is lopsided. The plate is unnecessarily small and potatoes are literally falling off the edge. They look ok, though, so I’m reserving judgement. Cross section next.

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Perhaps the clue should have come when they didn’t ask me how I wanted the burger cooked, because it’s well done (not ideal). Worse, there’s little evidence of the ‘hot pork belly’ – ample red onion, and plenty of the pickle… but the pork belly had such promise!

Down to the taste. The bun is incredibly soft and is tragically the highlight of the burger; sweet and sturdy enough for this burger. The meat? Is underseasoned; the crust is soft, there’s no tang whatsoever from the kohlrabi, you can’t taste any cheese (or much salt at all, to be honest). The grind is  coarse enough but the meat is packed in hard and the overall impression is chewy hockey-puck like. The red onion is not unpleasant but despite the lack of salt, the dryness of the burger forced me to condiments; ketchup and mayonnaise help a little. It’s just unworthy of a seeding in any ‘best burger’ ranking and belongs in the kitchen of a mediocre pub, frankly. It was sad.

The potatoes? Not as crispy as they looked. Underseasoned and hard to season (too thick; had these been cubed roasted potatoes I’d have enjoyed the variation, otherwise I should have gone with the fries option). All in all, a solid ‘meh’.

As to other things; had a fried chicken dish (soaked in a mildly spicey sauce and served with a sour cream-esque side) which was nice, tasted a rather delicious courgette fritter (think: bhaji) and enjoyed the totally ungarlicky garlic fries. They definitely can cook here, just… not a burger.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5
Build – 1/5
Burger – 2/5
Taste –  2/5
Sides – 4/5 – not really sides so much as small plates of other things, but good on the whole
Value – 2/5 – £13.50 for burger and potatoes, £6-7 for the small plates. Overall the meal wasn’t expensive but it was so disappointing.

Burger rating – 2.5/5 – go for the food, beer and atmosphere. Don’t have a burger.

The deets

Coin Laundry is up on Exmouth Market and is full of charm and atmosphere; the service is friendly and most of the food is good. Just don’t order the burger. You can book online via the website.

The Table Café, 83 Southwark Street, London

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An extremely well put together burger let down by the meat

Burger source

The Table Café is characteristic of the Southwark neighbourhood; independent, owner-managed, distinctive, generally innovative and relatively unconventional. It’s not a burger house but does feature an interesting one on the lunch menu which I thought I’d sample, given the reputed quality of the rest of the cooking. More of the backstory of the restaurant here; worth a read.

The order

I went for the Cheeseburger, red onion relish & triple cooked chips, resisting the urge to add bacon for £2.50!

The meat of it

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The burger is well if simply presented. The bun has some gloss but is not a brioche; there’s a light dripping of unidentifiable burger sauce spilling out the side, the stack looks well assembled. The triple cooked chips on the side are golden with crunch evident before you even pick one up, much less bite into it. So far, so promising.

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The cross section improves and detracts in equal measure. It’s a perfect stack; a thick layer of the red onion relish, a good melt on the cheese, a good amount of pickle, a sturdy but pliant bun, and a good ratio of everything involved. BUT you can see the meat is overdone – it’s grey in the middle and soft the whole way through, no real juiciness at all.

On tasting it – the red onion relish brings a wonderful sourness to every bite, contrasted by the crisp sweetness of the pickle and the savoury nature of the rest of it. The burger meat is well seasoned but the lack of a distinctive crust and the dryness of the overcooked meat detracts from the overall experience, despite the best efforts of the mildly spicy mustard-filled burger sauce elsewhere in the stack. The meat isn’t terrible, but it is far less special than the rest of the burger, which really pulls together very well.

The fries -whilst underseasoned – live up to the first impression. Crisp crunch, but cut thick enough for a fluffy interior despite the triple cooking. The ketchup that was on the table – a brand I didn’t recognise – was somewhat eccentric. I suspect the consequence of buying posh, locally sourced, organic stuff. I’d have preferred Heinz, tbh!

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 2.5/5
Taste – 3/5 – let down by meat despite how good everything else is
Sides – 4/5 – good chips
Value – 3.5/5 – £12.75 for burger and fries, which is pretty reasonable for the restaraunt. The bacon was too much extra though!

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – could have been better had it been better cooked.

The deets

This is one of our locals on Southwark Street, near the Tate Modern and five minutes’ walk from Blackfriars. If I go back I’ll ask them to cook it medium explicitly and see what happens.