Tag: cheeseburger

Mrs Foggs, Broadgate Circle, London

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Tolerable cheese burger & fries

Burger source 

It was a convenient place for an industry friend and I to meet, and burgers were not top of mind. But they had them, and whilst I’m not sure of the connection between the bar’s Victorian-era explorer theme and cheeseburgers (maybe they explored NEW YORK CITY), I wasn’t complaining. Now, for no reason, this clip from WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS.

The order 

Basics – cheeseburger and skin on fries. The burger was billed as follows: a beef patty, American cheese slice, pickles, lettuce, tomato, mustard, ketchup, pretzel bun. The skin on fries – do what they say on the tin. Paired with a nice merlot.

Now, apropos of not very much, this clip from SIDEWAYS.

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look.

That’s not a bad stack. Decent shine on a soft bun, bright salad supporting the lower bun from the patty, amazing melt on the (distinctly unamerican looking cheese – that’s not nearly Donald-Trump-tan orange enough for pureblood American cheese singles). But – nothing to complain about yet.

Cross section…

Right, the lighting is bad so it may be hard to tell but there’s good and bad here. Good – stack, bun sturdiness/pliability balance, the layering in the stack is good and evenly distributed, the meat is coarse ground and loosely packed – so far, so good really…

First bite…. soft bread, crisp salad, sweet pickle, decent bite to a – slightly overcooked – patty, the cheese added salt and the ketchup/mayo adds moisture. It’s not bad. But as you chew – you realise the meat is more than a little bland, and overcooked, which diminishes from the mouthfeel and flavour of what is otherwise a pretty well constructed burger.

The skin on fries… were fine. Decent seasoning, not uniformly hot or crisp, but decent at their best and still OK at their worst. Dunked in the provided mayo and ketchup (nice touch), these were a good accompaniment to the main meal, and came in a decent sized portion.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5 – really very good 
Build – 5/5 – well constructed, there was balance in the force
Burger – 3/5 – lack of seasoning and overdone-ness are significant faults
Taste –  3.5/5 – just not enough flavour or moisture to the burger. Slightly dry and underwhelming.  
Sides – 3.5/5 – solid but ultimately forgettable   

Value – 3/5 – £12.5 for the burger, another £4.50 for the fries, plus drinks plus side. Disproportionate to the quality.  

Burger rating – 3/5 – it was fine but the price, bland, overcookedness of it all knocked it down a few pegs from what could have been quite a good burger.. 

The deets 

These things are all over the place – who knew? The cocktails and drinks did – to be fair – look amazing and seemed like the main event. Go, experience the quirky Americana – find your nearest here.

Cosy Club, Northgate Street, Chester

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It was fine. I said fine, OK?

Burger source 

I was struggling – there were a lot of good things on the menu of the Cosy Club – creative dishes, some healthy, some indulgent, almost all more exciting than a burger. I got myself down to a few options… and when I asked for help from the waitress, she guided me to the burger. FATE.

The restaurant choice itself was guided by the need for a family-friendly venue as we overnighted in Chester on our way further North to meet up with a friend for a few days. We’d had a brilliant afternoon at Chester Zoo so naturally the kids (well, Zoe, our youngest anyway) was/were somewhat tuckered out, so we didn’t venture far from our hotel…

The Club itself is a chain, with a fair few sites, though this – new – branch was a first for me. Despite the fact there’s one in my local town…

The order 

Modern fixtures with a classic trim, this restaurant had style if not a great deal of atmosphere on a sleepy Wednesday night in the Summer holidays. Service was brilliant – fast, polite, friendly and handled Amanda’s nut allergy and the kids miscellaneous fussiness with no complaint.

I went for the House Burger – replete with signature burger sauce, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle with fries and slaw – and added cheese to top it off. At around £16, it’s not for the faint hearted…

The meat of it 

[Main review] 

Presentation is not bad. The salad’s in the right place, the bun is toasted (perhaps a bit too much), there’s a good melt on the cheese, the slaw looks fresh and bright – and not drenched in mayo – and the fries look decent. Let’s go in for the close up.

Ok – the stack is good. The bun is soft and compacts a fair bit – but the excessive toasting helps it maintain structural integrity. The beef – you can see – has a coarse grind, but is very compacted. The salad remains bright, the cheese binds, and a good amount of burger sauce frames it. Let’s go to the first taste…

The char comes through immediately – both from the slightly blackened bun and the firm, hard sear the burger clearly had in the cook. But it’s not overwhelming and actually adds a pleasant smokiness. The burger is a little chewy, overcooked and slightly underseasoned, but has good flavour. The burger sauce adds a brilliant binding sweetness, the cheese an extra umami oopmh, and there’s fresh crispness from the salad. The pickle adds a – slight – vinegar tang – it’s not a paragon of its kind but is fine – and the whole comes together better than the sum of its parts would have you expect. But it’s expensive for an ‘ok’, pub style burger, especially when you consider…

  • the slaw – uninspired, underseasoned and possibly under-lemoned, this adds crunch but little flavour.
  • the fries – well cooked, self-seasoned skin-on fries, these are good… crisp on the outside, fluffy potato flavour within – but it’s not a generous portion, simply plated to look like it is

So good, but not great.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3.5/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 3/5
Taste –  3/5  
Sides – 3.5/5 – let down by the slaw and portion size   
Value – 2.5/5 – too much for a thing that was just OK.  

Burger rating – 3/5 – probably should have had the seabass Amanda went for – looked amazing. 

The deets 

Find your local here if you’re keen – probably skip the burger, fine though it was – it wasn’t special and wasn’t worth the sticker price.

The Anthologist, Bank, London

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A paragon of mediocrity

Burger source 

It seems that I have something of a reputation for my burger fandom. So, when meeting an industry friend for lunch, I was asked ‘are you going to have the burger…’

Honestly, I was considering the salad. But I didn’t want to disappoint.

The order 

OK, there’s nothing fancy about it, but it sounded fine (though I have now had to Google ‘Applewood cheese’ – save yourself the trouble, it’s just a smoked cheddar) – the simply billed ‘cheeseburger’ came complete with: 7oz British beef, Applewood cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise & chips.

Unpretentious. Fine. Could be good – a good burger doesn’t need to be complicated.

The meat of it 

But it does need to be some other things.

Presentation’s OK (to a point). But some worrying tells. First – that pickle. Unnecessarily gargantuan proportions, slightly worrying shade of green.

Second: large lettuce pieces atop burger. Wrong place. Schoolboy. It’s meant to be protecting the underbun from the juiciness of the burger. And it should be chopped.

Third : where’s the aforementioned juiciness? Nowhere to be seen. That plate is too clean, that bun is too intact.

Time for the cross section.

Structural integrity of the stack was next to zero. Top bun slid off salad, which – unchopped – slid off in turn (dice your lettuce, people, it’s not hard. A rough chop is fine). The mayo is meagrely applied, the bun is even more suspiciously dry, and now – whilst the romaine is bright green – you can see a peek of an extremely underwhelming tomato slice beneath the burger, too. Now, I’ve always had my reservations about tomatoes on a burger, but a pale, flaccid looking specimen like this? No. Just no. It’s wrong. That said – the cheese melt is top notch, the burger looks to be made with coarse ground meat that isn’t overpacked… but it’s so dry. I’m worried.

First bite.

Bread’s dry. Burger’s dry; overcooked but tolerably pliant. There’s no sauce. There’s no salt. The cheese adds texture but next to no flavour – no smoke evident, applewood or otherwise. In aggregate, the burger adds texture but almost no flavour. It’s like chewing on burger textured cardboard; the mouthfeel isn’t bad, but the lack of taste makes the whole experience surreal. In fact, they could have marketed this burger as the ‘Covid simulator’ because it’s like they took your dang sense of taste away. If Uncle Roger did burger reviews, he’d be taking away the Anthologist Chef’s Uncle title in this very moment.

The chips – however – were fine. Well seasoned, crisp, made of decent quality potato, and only marginally too chunky for my liking.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  1.5/5
Build – 1.5/5
Burger – 1.5/5 
Taste –  1/5  
Sides – 4/5 – the chips were good, lose a point for being a tad on the chunky side
Value – 1/5 – £16 for burger and side, ish. But tbh at £12 it’d have still only been a 3/5.   

Burger rating – 1.5/5 – I ate it. Had it been much worse, I wouldn’t have. 

The deets 

I’m only telling you so if you find yourself there you remember NOT to order the burger; it’s a Drake & Morgan pub round the corner from Bank station. Avoid it here.

Flat Iron, 77 Curtain Road, Shoreditch

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Sumptuous, near-perfect chilli cheeseburger 

Burger source 

Flat Iron has been on my list for some time; a well established and popular mid-high end steak chain, I’d heard good things about the burger too and thought it was worth a shot. An opportunity came – I caught up with an industry colleague and we both took the opportunity to go for it.

The order 

It was a lunch so no extravagance – the smoked chilli cheeseburger, made with Flat Iron herd beef, which was a special – and a portion of fries (sorry, ‘home-made beef dripping chips’) between us.

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look.

Nice presentation – simple, wrapped to help with the cheese melt, and lovely when unwrapped – the look and the smell was incredible.

In cross section… wow. It’s a double patty smash, with the smoked chillis in between, a mayo/aioli and salad protecting the lower bun (correct), and the most incredible cheese melt. The bun is soft and incredibly well balanced with the meat – providing structural integrity but not endless starchiness.

First bite… OMG. The chillis are really gentle, providing virtually no heat but a wonderful, light… I want to say sourness? And the patties – seasoned perfectly, cooked perfectly with a coarse grind to the tender, juicy meat – incredible. Full of umami, the cheese pull added a lovely bit of drama. The fresh salad and mayo/aioli provided a little sweetness to contrast the otherwise perfect umami bomb of a burger. Just an absolute delight.

As to the fries…

There was nothing special about these fries, and I do not mean that as a criticism. Perfectly cut, perfectly fried, perfectly seasoned – they are very good chips. No crazy seasoning, no unnecessary toppings, just – wonderful, on their own or dipped in the provided ketchup and mayo.

This place is *great*. We were also served inside of 10 minutes, which was pretty incredible.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5  
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 5/5 – I have no notes. This was perfect. Don’t change a thing. 
Taste –  5/5
Sides – 5/5    

Value – 5/5 – £13 for the burger £4 for the fries feels reasonable for this quality.  

Burger rating – 5/5 – easily one of the best burgers in London. 

The deets 

Just off the Shoreditech strip, there are a few of these around. Check the website to find your nearest and make it a priority. I want to go back and have the steak, now…

Stax Diner, Kingly Court, Soho

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Uninspired diner-style burger with few redeeming features

Burger source 

We’ve exhausted many of the mainstays of the London burger scene, but this place made it onto a few top ten lists and had phenomenal photography, so we decided to stop by.

The website sells it like so:

An infusion of soul and a nod to the past, Stax Diner brings you an authentic, all American dining experience in London.

Which should perhaps have been a good warning.

The order 

We were a group of five, and shared buffalo wings (between four) and popcorn shrimp (between 5). The former was servered with a blue cheese sauce and coleslaw, the latter with chipotle mayonnaise.

Most of us had the Stax cheeseburger with bacon, as the main – here’s how its billed: two flat griddled beef patties, melted American cheese, crispy onions, gherkins, French’s mustard & Heinz Tomato Ketchup, shredded iceburg and toasted brioche bun. It came with standard fries.

I had a lychee martini to drink.

The meat of it 

Let’s have a look.

It’s not unattractive – decent stack, looks to have a decent char, generous portion of bacon… but slightly anemic fries. Let’s check the cross section.

Concerns starting to emerge now. The meat is completely cooked through (to a fault), but the meat doesn’t have a crisp sear, so none of the upside of a smash burger. The bacon is soft and chewy – I realise belatedly it’s beef bacon so is bland, and not at all crisp, and totally unnecessary. Crispy onions – a lovely touch – fall out everywhere, bringing a delightful crunch when you catch them in the right place.

First bite – cheese is brilliantly melted, but the bread, meat, bacon – all has a uniformly… soft… texture. Not terrible, but the lack of contrast is a downside. The slightly acrid spice of the French’s mustard comes through, overpowering the meat but without adding a great deal. There’s seasoning on the patty but its just a bit dry, even with the cheese and a bit of ketchup trying to help it hold up. It’s not unpleasant but… not remotely special. Which would have been fine, had I been eating it at a diner by the roadside by a highway in the US, for $10. But for £15+ – daylight robbery. Plus the fries – you can probably see – are woefully underdone, and mostly underseasoned.

To the sides…

So, the popcorn shrimp – lovely seasoning, definitely has hints of the south, good heat. But the batter slides off the prawn a little too easily and the chipotle mayo lacks heat and depth. More chipotle, bit more salt I think. And better prawns.

The buffalo wings completely lack crispness, but the meat is tender and juicy, the buffalo sauce is perfectly spiced, the slaw is creamy, crunchy and delicious, especially with the buffalo spillover. Damo polished off the blue cheese sauce with his vegan burger, non-vegan bun and real cheese. We had a pot of BBQ sauce as well which was a waste of a pound – sickeningly saccharine, not to my tastes at all, and no-one else enjoyed it either.

The lychee martini was lush – sweet and floral. Friends had an Old Fashioned (inexplicably including soda water) and a Mojito (the ‘worst mojito I’ve ever had’) says Damo. But Pob’s Margarita was apparently nice.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5 – unexceptional  
Build – 4/5 – well constructed
Burger – 2.5/5 – underseasoned, overcooked, dry, and poorly contrasted by texture and flavour in the stack 
Taste –  3/5  – tolerable but unexceptional
Sides – 3.5/5 – wings and popcorn shrimp were ok. 1.5/5 for the fries.   

Value – 2/5 – £33 a head with two drinks for all but me.  

Burger rating – 3/5 – if you need a burger and no other ones are available, you won’t hate yourself. Not exactly high praise but… it’s the best I can muster. 

The deets 

First floor of Kingly Court, just off Carnaby Street. You can’t miss it. And if you like monstrous novelty burgers, go and have the insanity, which James had, becuase what double cheeseburger isn’t improved by a fried chicken patty? Well done Jimjamjebobo; keep the change, you filthy animal.

Gordon Ramsay Plane Food Restaurant, Terminal 5, Heathrow

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Confusing, overpriced, under-seasoned, overcooked burger that doesn’t deliver

Burger source

Gordon Ramsay is, by every objective measure, a spectacular chef. Restaurants around the world, TV series and Masterclasses; even a burger specialty restaurant in Vegas.  I’ve watched both his Masterclasses and really enjoyed them. And it turns out his airport restaurant has a short-rib cheeseburger on the menu, so I thought I’d give it a try.

The order

It’s the only burger on the menu; short-rib Monterey Jack cheeseburger with chimchurri mayo, served on a brioche bun with fresh salad and pickles.

The meat of it

IMG_20190404_174725

The burger looks good. There seems to be a good crust on the exterior, the Jack cheese is gloriously melted, the whole thing is perfectly assembled and presented on a piece of wax paper, enclosed in a toasted, shiny brioche bun.

Things aren’t dramatically wrong in cross section, either. Yes, the burger is overcooked – not a glimmer of pink anywhere – but the salad is protecting the bun, the tomato looks bright and fresh, the pickle is fragrant and the chimcurri mayo and beef fat are oozing delightfully out the edges of the burger. The beef is coarse ground and loosely packed, so I’m holding on to hope.

IMG_20190404_174800

On the first bite, however, things start to go wrong.

First, despite the overcooked centre, the char on the crust isn’t as crisp and satisfying as it looked. Worse, it’s under seasoned. Even with the cheese, the salty taste barely comes through.

Then, there’s the confusion of the chimchurri. It’s a sharp, fragrant flavour – made from parsley, vinegar, olive oil and other bits. It works well in butter on a steak – but in a burger, the flavours are confusing. There’s the salt of the cheese, possibly some salt from the seasoning on the burger (but this is lost), the sugary brioche, the bright crisp sweetness of the pickle and salad… well, it’s totally confounded by the sharp, tart, creaminess – ?? – of the chimchurri mayonnaise. In breadier bites, the bun was too sweet. When eaten with a mouthful of burger and mayo and salad – you have no idea what you’re tasting. It’s utterly perplexing, and not really in a good way.

The overcooked meat starts to wear, too. The burger feels relentless – and to be fair, whilst I finished it, I just very rarely leave food. That’s my bad. I should have left it. It wasn’t good. Unlike many of my burger experiences, the combination of the good individual parts somehow lessened the total experience. I can only explain this by guessing that….

  1. I was victim of an overzealous grill chef, and it would have worked better with a juicier medium patty
  2. I think more likely, someone who doesn’t have the same view of what a good burger should taste like was responsible for creating what, for me, was a Frankenstein’s monster of a burger

It’s a shame. There was definite potential. Swap out the chimchurri mayo for garlic aioli (or maybe red onion aioli – is that a thing?), get the burger cooked to medium, a tad more salt and a tad more heat on the grill – and this would have been a fine burger indeed. As it was, I had to dose the burger with over sweet ketchup to give it some kind of flavour coherence.

Sides wise, I wasn’t hungry enough (or feeling wealthy enough) to order a portion of £5 triple cooked fries to myself, so I relied on the ages-old tradition of eating leftover food off my kids plates. Zoe and Emily both had fish and “chips” – the same triple cooked fries on the menu as a side.  So I had a couple of theirs.

And whilst they’re not bad – they have the standard thick, crisp crust of anything that’s been triple cooked, and an appropriately floury centre – they’re not chips. They’re between a quarter and a sixth of a large potato EACH. So they’re alright (if you like triple cooked potatoes), but calling them chips doesn’t make sense.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  3/5 – sweet? Not sweet enough?
Build – 5/5
Burger – 2/5
Taste –  1.5/5
Sides – 3/5 – calling them triple cooked fries is misrepresentation
Value – 1/5 – £14 for the burger, a ludicrous £4.50 if I wanted to add bacon, and £5 if I’d wanted a portion of fries. Daylight robbery, even with kids eating free.

Burger rating – 1.5/5 – everything else everyone else was eating looked like it tasted better. Mind you, mine LOOKED like it should have tasted better. Maybe the whole restaurant is an exercise in form over function? Style over substance? Chimchurri over common sense?

The deets

It’s one of the main restaurants in T5. I’m sure there are others dotted around. If you go, don’t have the burger.