Morty & Bobs, Coal Drops Yard, Kings Cross

Good burger, excellent cocktails, lovely atmosphere

Burger source 

Kings Cross is a pretty convenient location for a few of us to meet up, and the redevelopment North of St Pancras is… well, pretty wonderful. Wide, open, modern, highly stylised – it’s absolutely buzzing, even on a Wednesday night.

Celebrating a friends birthday, we chanced upon Morty & Bob’s, and it happened to have a burger on the menu, so…

The order 

Bob’s burger [sic] & fries features an aged prime patty, garlic mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickles and a brioche bun. I also had a glass of wine, and a cocktail (their take on an old fashioned). Pudding… I was pitched a pear compote cheesecake. Let’s see..

The meat of it

First impressions, pretty good. Those fries look crisp and well seasoned (they are, though a smidge… stale?). The burger’s bun is glossy, there’s strong melt on the cheese, the salad looks bright, crisp and fresh, the bacon looks thick but crispy… Let’s take a closer look.

The bun – dense and possibly slightly oversized. The salad – over thick slices of tomato destabilise the stack. The meat – coarse ground, cooked to a perfect medium. Excitement… To the taste.

The meat is lovely – beautiful texture, lovely exterior crust, soft and juicy interior, with that light funk from the dry ageing. Lovely mouthfeel, but ever so slightly underseasoned. The bacon is a joy, and with the cheese (collectively adding an additional £3.50 on an already £14 burger and fries) provide the necessary umami to partially compensate for the patty, so I was glad of the indulgence. The mayo adds a smooth, velvety tang from the garlic that’s welcome; a crisp crunch comes from the salad and the hint of sweet sharpness from the pickles is well distributed. The bun… is cold, and slightly out of proportion. Too much bread, and what there was should have been toasted. But it works together surprisingly well and makes up for its shortcomings via the overall experience. It’s a good burger, and a pleasure to eat it.

The fries, as I’ve said, were solid. They seemed slightly stale, like they’d been left out too long between dips in the fryer, but they were well seasoned, suitably potatoey, and lovely dunked in a pot of mayo or ketchup.

As to the cocktails? Really interesting takes on traditional cocktails on the menu. Served fast, in a lovely atmosphere, with attentive waitstaff. A great overall experience.

Pudding? There were a few options and I had a cheesecake that was recommended to me. It was… fine. But not the right pudding to follow the burger. I was envious of my friends chowing down on a flourless brownie with ice cream.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5
Value – 3.5/5 – £17 for a bacon cheese burger, plus service, plus pudding, plus drinks – this was not a cheap evening. But it was good.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – a great overall experience.

The deets 

A seven minute stroll from Kings X station. Find Morty & Bob’s here.

Lord Wargrave, Nr Edgware Road, London

Possibly the best smash burger in London

Burger source

A friend with excellent taste in both bourbon and BBQ suggested we meet at this pub for a couple of drinks and dinner, and – seeing a double smash burger alongside a variety of ribs options, I felt confident that good things would follow.

The pub has high standards – from its menu:

ALL SMOKE – NO MIRRORS – we’re all about authentic London barbecue, with influences from around the world. Our meat is dry-rubbed, smoked in-house, low and slow, over British hickory logs. Our meat and poultry is ethically sourced, free range, and from local farms wherever possible, and our fish comes from day boats off the south coast of the UK, and is delivered to us daily.

Well. Expectations, much.

The order

We shared a half dozen crispy BBQ wings (my friend couldn’t cope with buffalo spice option), and naturally I had the Smash burger: double beef, double cheese, onions & pickles. I added bacon too, because… greed. To drink? House red, and I may have had an unusual bourbon because it’s a whisky bar too.

And I was tempted by a pudding. I’ll come to that.

The meat of it

Decent presentation

Take a look at that. That’s nice. Shiny bun, beautiful char on the meat and melt on the cheese, well balanced with the pickles and onions.

Let’s take a look at the cross section and see what we’re really dealing with here. I received a groan from my friend when I did this (as I often do).

Holy moly

I can’t explain this. It’s a smash burger – at most, two slender, three ounce patties. And yet there’s a clear and evident pink, uniform through the centre. First bite and you are hit with a wall of savoury – coarse ground, amazingly seasoned meat provides bite… and then soft, tender chew. the flavour is smoky, with depth but none of the funk that comes with dry-aged beef. The cheese binds and adds yet more umami; the bacon almost pushes it over the top, but the sweet pickle and onion tempers it. The bun is soft and holds together against the surprising heft of the burger. I force myself to take slow, thoughtful bites. Savouring each mouthful as the full extent of this creation – this masterpiece – of a burger works its way over my palate. Simon is jeering at me as a reverent look passes over my face; each bite surprises, delights and astounds me. This burger is glorious, I have zero notes. Not one. It is unimprovable.

So. Wow. Breathe. And then the sides.

The fries are – as you can probably see on close inspection – crisp on the outside, thick cut by the standard of American fries but thin for English chips. They are substantial enough that they taste of actual hot, fluffy potato; they are beautifully seasoned with salt and pepper, crisp without being greasy. Possible the archetype of what chips should be, could be, when they grow up. Without the ostentation of rosemary of any of that fancy stuff – simple, uncomplicated, perfect.

The wings are presented beautifully – I love the slim, angled slices of spring onion scatted over the – evenly coated but not dripping – BBQ wings. The sauce is smoky and sweet, but not overwhelming, nor particularly distinctive. The wings crunch as you bite into them, and the meat comes off clean – but is a little tough and chewy. Enjoyable, but I’d probably go for the buffalo if I went back, and hope that they would be more generous in the saucing process, with a meatier and more tender wing. Good but not great.

I was pretty full from the meal, but as regular readers may know, my kryptonite is sticky toffee pudding. It is the ‘BEYOND GODLIKE’ of dessert options for me and – generally – even a mediocre pud is a thing of joy. This time – it presented SO beautifully after being pitched to me by the waitress (it’s excellent, she said)… but then proceeded to have the texture and flavour of a mouldering brick. The waitress acknowledged that a knife should not be required to break a STP apart and graciously took it back, and off the bill. I’ll discount it from my scoring; suspect I got unlucky.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste – 5/5
Sides – 4/5 – minor deduction for tough, slightly undersauced wings. Fries were a 5.
Value – 5/5 – it wasn’t cheap but it was WORTH it

Burger rating – 5/5 – genuinely one of the best burgers I’ve ever had.

The deets

You can find the Lord Wargrave pub a five minute walk from Edgware Road station, tucked unassumingly behind the main thoroughfare down to Marble Arch from the Marylebone Road. The extensive selection of whisky, beer and wine is another reason to go back. Simon had ribs, which also looked glorious. Atmosphere and service, great.

More on the website here.

Roast, Borough Market, London

Gamey, well-put-together venison burger

Burger source

There was beef wellington on the menu, but such is my commitment to burgers that – in realising that Roast – one of the defining meat-centric restaurants in London – had a burger on its Christmas menu – I changed my mind. Note this is a far cry from the Roast-To-Go burger I reviewed back in 2017, even if it was prepared in the same kitchen.

The order

So there it was – the Wild British Fallow Deer Venison burger. Featuring a brioche bun, stilton, beef tomato, lettuce and Roast’s burger sauce. Had to be done. We also had a healthy diversity of sides – pigs in blankets, garlic mushrooms, broccoli, cauliflower cheese and chunky truffle chips.

The meat of it

Let’s look at it again.

It’s well presented and constructed. Lettuce protecting the bun from a juicy (?) burger, good slice of pickle, bright, fresh veg, ‘Roast burger sauce’ on the side, and promising-looking chunky fries in the obligatory fancy tin pot.

Let’s come into the cross section:

Look at that colour! A perfect pink, absolutely amazing! And the light hasn’t helped but he brioche is quite pale beneath a warm and attractively grilled bun. You’ll also note that the bun has slipped off the giant lettuce leaves and doesn’t want to stay settled at all – I’m pro shredding the lettuce on the underside of a burger. This hasn’t stayed together as you’d hope, although I fully accept that most people don’t cross-section their burger in this way.

As to the taste – perfect seasoning, there’s a wonderful umani between the burger and the stilton – which is unobtrusive and subtle. The bun holds together well and doesn’t have the sweetness many brioche do; but has fantastic substance and bite, contrasting with its soft, fluffy blandness against the flavourbomb of the burger itself. The texture and mouthfeel is good, though the burger is a little dry overall – I suspect that wild fallow deer doesn’t have the fat content your average 20-30% beef burger patty might – and the light gamey taste adds a pleasant depth of flavour.

The Roast Sauce? Is basically just a fancy, smooth home made ketchup. It’s pleasant, but this burger wanted a mayo or aioli style burger sauce on the buns to add fat and moisture back into each bite. Pickle in there would have added good contrast to the dry, salty, gamey meat. Not bad, but a few refinements would have elevated it.

As to the chips – they were perfect. Double if not triple fried, crunchy on the outside and fluffy in the middle, they were perfectly seasoned and very flavourful. Again the ketchup/burger sauce was a good accompaniment, but would have preferred a mayo or aioli dip.

On the other sides (sorry for lack of pictures) – the pigs and blankets were just fine – good sausages but not desperately easily to distinguish from a pack you’d from Sainsbury’s. The mushrooms were extraordinary – the right answer to how much butter can you use when grilling mushrooms is ALL OF IT. I heard good reports for the truffle chips, the cauliflower cheese, the stuffing and more. Good all around.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4.5/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste –  3.5/5
Sides – 4.5/5
Value – 3.5/5 – £22 is a lot, although possibly reasonable given the venue and cost of the venison

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – Enjoyable and interesting novelty, though I probably wouldn’t have this again unless I could change up the recipe. The meat was just too lean for a burger patty, and there are a lot of other good things on the menu.

The deets

Wander around Borough market until you find the lift/steps that lead up to Roast. You can’t – no wait, you can easily miss it. Good luck and enjoy – let me know how you found it.

Anchor Inn, Lower Froyle, Hampshire

Amazingly well put together, if overcooked

Burger source

I was so keen, on the occasion of this date night, to order something that wasn’t a burger. After all, I have burgers so often when I go out – who needed another burger? But then… I don’t go out often. And there it was, on the menu; promising a single cut of meat in the burger (suggesting it is made in-house), slaw, and a variety of other things that sounded great. So I gave in.

The order

The British brisket burger featured cheese, ruby slaw, baby gem, fries, onion relish. According to the menu. I opted for the bacon for an extra pound.

The meat of it

There are some unspecified extras on the burger. You can see, in the featured image above, a generous slice of tomato, three dill pickles, and a very moreish burger sauce. Curiously, the burger patty – in the deconstructed plating – is on the top bun. A quick merge, and you get…

Look at the melt on that cheese! The shine on the bun! the colour on the slaw! Hopes were duly raised…

…and lowered a bit in cross section. Whilst the bun continues to look glorious, as indeed do the toppings (and bottomings?), the burger is too densely packed and is cooked to grey.

First taste – sweet, applewood (?) smoked bacon adds bite and an additional savoury boost, the burger has a hard, well seasoned crust – but the meat is a little rubbery, to be expected given how it was cooked. The quietly sweet brioche bun, slaw, sweet gem and tomato and pickles cut into the savoury explosion somewhat, tempering it, smoothing it out. The mouthfeel is… good, the bun is fantastic, the burger sauce is adding moisture where the beef has lost it, the balance is… surprising. And whilst the beef’s texture is off, the flavour is not bad. Not great in and of itself – but not bad.

The build doesn’t hold together well, the patty is sliding all over the place, so whilst the flavours combine well, it is hard to eat in its intended form.

So I have the second half deconstructed, eating each bit separately. It confirms – excellent bun, sauce, thick-cut streaky bacon and slaw. The burger is almost burnt on the outside – the chef must have gone overboard with the sear, and (I’m guessing) squashed the burger on the grill to “help” it cook through. The single cut of beef leads to a very uniform texture but perhaps not the most inspiring flavour – other cuts add this, I seem to remember from the burger masterclass at Cut & Grind.

It was hard to gauge how I felt about this burger. The pub is so good – amazing atmosphere, roaring fire, a gentle susurration from the happy clientele all around us, good Covid protocol that we could see, fast moving and attentive wait staff. I had an excellent glass of Italian red to sip alongside the burger (a Cento Cavali Nero d’Avola). I was celebrating 15 years of dating my wife. Maybe the mood took me, but damn, I enjoyed this burger in spite of its limitations.

And the fries? Perfection. Crisp, soft centred, good potato flavour, well seasoned without being mouth-wrinklingly salty, delicious dunked in a bit of ketchup or mayo.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5
Build – 3.5/5 – weird reverse assembly, slidey in the bun
Burger – 2.5/5 – taste is ok behind the terrible texture and oversear
Taste –  4/5 – the sauce and trimmings make it up
Sides – 5/5 – calling the fries ‘sides’ is generous, but they were perfect
Value – 3.5/5 – £16 for the burger and fries. The glass of wine was pricey too

Burger rating – 4/5 – surprising myself with this score. It may not objectively have been good, but it was a brilliant experience, and I enjoyed the burger in spite of its limitations.

The deets

The Anchor Inn is in the middle of nowhere in North Hampshire. On a cold winter night, expect dark roads, blind turns, the occasional deer in your path. In other words, a perfect country pub. Find out more at the link.

Burgsy’s, Castlegate, York

Juicy, tasty blue-cheese burger

Burger source

The (self-proclaimed?) ‘best burger in York’ was always going to be on the list for a visit to the town, so we were excited. The small, family run place gave us lots to look forward to.

The order

I normally try to order the closest thing to a cheese and bacon burger on the menu to provide a baseline – in this case, I went for the Blue Jack – which featured ‘stinky’ stilton and smoked bacon, alongside rocket and a balsamic reduction on a brioche bun. I was allowed to request it medium, which was a joy – it speaks to meat ground on site and hopefully a juicy bite and outstanding mouthfeel. I upgraded the side of fries to ‘lumberjack’ fries, which upgraded the fries with mushrooms, caramelised onions, streaky bacon, mayo and BBQ sauce. What could go wrong?

I had a glass of merlot to drink with it all.

The meat of it

So far, so good. Presentation is great – you can see the blue cheese dripping off the burger, the smoked bacon is crisp and generous, the rocket is bright and fresh. The lumberjack fries… are fully loaded.

To the cross section…

This is pretty close to a perfect cross section for me – coarse ground, pink, juicy meat. A bun that holds up to the burger. Well proportioned toppings (though the rocket should perhaps have been under the burger to protect the bun a little more from the juices). Look at that melty stilton! Amazing.

As to taste… the stilton is a little… overpowering. You can’t tell how well seasoned the meat is because the flavour from the cheese is so strong (a bit too strong). But the meat is high quality and well cooked, the mouthfeel is fantastic, and the rocket – which I was sceptical off – actually provides a realy good contrast to the super-savoury, super funky stilton. The bacon and the balsamico adds a sweet contrast and the whole thing works better than I’d expected. A really enjoyable burger.

That said – my friends said that their more conventional burgers were underseasoned – to the point of tastelessness – so wonder if I got lucky with my choice!

As to the fries… well, these are literally a hot mess. The caramelised onions were cloyingly sweet, they were incredibly overseasoned – to almost the point of being inedible – and the excess of sauces and toppings made it hard to detect or enjoy any particular flavour. They were well cooked, hot, fresh shoestring fries though, which are never that bad.

The merlot was excellent, as was the service and general ambience.

On balance, massively recommend Burgsy’s, but perhaps ask to salt your own fries, and ask them to make sure the burger is well seasoned before it hits the griddle. I would go back, and order a little differently, if I return to York with a hankering for a good burger.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4.5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 4.5/5
Taste –  4/5 – the stilton was a bit too much for me but think others would love it
Sides – 2.5/5 – lost points for excess seasoning and a hot mess of toppings
Value – 4/5 – it’s pricey-ish for the city but not bad.

Burger rating – 4/5 – really very good.

The deets

Surrounded by wine bars, Castlegate is a nice, quiet street, a little way away from the chaos of York’s Christmas crowds. Find more deets and book online to visit here.

Fancy Hanks, Goodramsgate, York

Rubbery hockey puck of a burger, fun everything else

Burger source

I’m going to be honest – it wasn’t the burger that drew me in. It was the fact that Fancy Hanks is one of the only places I found in researching York that serves chicken & waffles. You know, authentic Yorkshire country food. Anyway, the menu promised a home-made patty, and there were five of us eating, so we could chop and share a bit…

The order

So the burger itself – we chose to double up – is on the menu as “Homemade Beef Patty with Melty Cheese, Lettuce, Tomato, Bacon Jam, Pickle and Fancy Sauce.” We also had the chicken and waffles, and a lot of sides – buffalo wings, onion rings, fried pickles and buttermilk fried shrimp.

The meat of it

Presentation wasn’t good, although we immediately regretted doubling up – simply unnecessary for this style of burger and I wish restaraunts wouldn’t offer it for anything other than a patty smash (though it’s clearly my fault for ordering it!):

Let’s quickly get to the cross section:

This tells you pretty much everything you need to know. Whilst the bun is good, the meat itself is bone dry, densely packed, finely ground and completely overcooked. The salad and fancy sauce (and indeed the well melted cheese) is barely detectable around the heft of the (well seasoned) but completely rubbery burger patties. I couldn’t taste the jam, and didn’t try the slaw. In mouthfeel, it’s not unlike a slightly burnt BBQ burger patty, though clearly there’s better quality meat that’s been wasted in making it. In short, do not order this unless you can specify you want it medium.

As to the sides, and the chicken and waffles? Well…

Looks pretty good, right? Some of it wasn’t bad. In particular:

  • Pickles were crisp and well seasoned, with a bright, crispy centre
  • The wings were crazy unusual – hot sauce woveninto the breading, juicy, tasty and interesting with a nice blue cheese sauce – though I think a bit of a coating of buffalo sauce would have improved them further – that slippery mess is part of the joy of buffalo wings
  • The onion wings were exceptional – crisp, sweet slices of white onion in a lovely batter, well seasoned
  • The fries were good too, good potato flavour, well seasoned and tasty

In contrast…

  • The chicken of the chicken and waffles had its breading coming off it, the bacon should have been crisper, and the waffle/ratio wasn’t there – bigger, crisper waffle stack, syrup on the side, would have been my preference. Still tasty with some hot sauce though
  • The breading was peeling off the prawns

Still not bad, just not great.

I drank the gin cocktail, the ‘Charleston Fizz’, which was ok but not particularly memorable – they were unfortunately out of some of the more interesting creations when we visited (I had wanted to try ‘the President’ featuring peanut butter infused bourbon!).

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5
Build – 3/5
Burger – 1.5/5
Taste –  1.5/5
Sides – 4/5 – better than the mains! 
Value – 4/5 – all that food, and a couple of drinks each, and service – was less than £30 a head. Which seems reasonable.

Burger rating – 1.5/5 – go for the sides, cocktails, chicken – not the burger.

The deets

Fancy Hanks can be found here, on the busy Goodramsgate street in York It’s great fun as a place to visit, but they need to work on their burger craft.

Hunworth Bell, Hunworth, Norfolk

Enjoyable despite its limitations

Burger source

The Hunny Bell is a local favourite, in the middle of nowhere in rural Norfolk. Rated highly on Tripadvisor, and by locals we know, it was a fun family meal out.

The order

I hadn’t intended to have a second burger in our holiday week, but the description of the HB double cheeseburger, topped with Emmental, served with onion rings, slaw, on a brioche and smoked bacon… well, it just sounded great. So I had to give it a go. We shared a carafe of Sea Change Negroamaro, a red wine whose billing features environmetnal activism, with a proportion of profits going to dealing with ocean plastics. Sold.

The meat of it

Let’s look at the main picture again.

The plating is tidy but a close inspection will show – a burnt brioche, unnecessary onion rings and a burnt edging on the bacon that bodes poorly… but it looks well assembled, and I’m intrigued.

In cross section, the errors compound themselves. These are thick patties, but cooked well done. They are far too big for the burger. The emmental is well melted and there’s an intriguing layer of sauce on the bottom bun… so, on to the taste.

Well, the burger is well seasoned. The crisp bacon adds excellent umami. The vegetables are crisp, fresh and sweet. The patties are a little dry, but the spicy mayo adds the required moisture and a lovely depth of flavour. There’s a wonderful smokiness to the whole thing.

Then… the whole thing kind of slides off the romaine slice and tomatoes at the base… leaving, in short, a mess:

The rest of it had to be eaten with cutlery, in two halves, split top and bottom. Ketchup helped balance the half without the spicy mayo, and yet somehow, the whole thing kept me wanting more. Despite almost everything going wrong with it, I still kind of enjoyed it. Though I think next time, the belly pork Amanda had is more likely to be on my order card.

The sides? The fries were well seasoned, standard french fries, but slightly undercooked. The slaw was soft – lacking all freshness and crispness – the mayo / dressing was just too heavy. But the onion rings were near-paragons of the form – lovely, crisp, well seasoned batter, sweet onion within… if they were a little greasy.

Giving notes on the whole dish:

  1. Don’t burn the bun
  2. Shrink the patties – 3oz each is plenty, 4oz each was too much
  3. Switch to a patty smash. higher fat ratio, melt cheese on each half as part of the build
  4. Go heavier on the delicious, animal-style sauce, consider adding some chopped pickle into it too for a bright, sweet crunch amidst it all
  5. Shred lettuce for a more stable base – the single leaf of romaine is pretty in theory, but irritating in practice
  6. Swap out the emmental for a sharp local cheddar
  7. Double fry the chips
  8. Find a new slaw recipe. It was bad.
  9. More onion rings. Because why not?

And the wine? Delicious. In both form and function. Highly recommend.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  2.5/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste –  3.5/5
Sides – 3/5 – the onion rings and wine redeem the fries and slaw somewhat 
Value – 3/5 – £14.50 for burger and fries. Wine and other dishes reasonable.

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – really much more enjoyable than it should have been

The deets

The food, service, ambience etc., at the Hunny Bell were all brilliant. The burger isn’t the best but everything else comes highly recommended. Visit if you’re in the region of Holt in Norfolk at any point.

Sands Restaraunt, Wells-on-the-Sea, Norfolk

Pretty good burger with well-flavoured meat

Burger source

After a four hour journey, we were happy to have arrived in the coastal town of Wells for our first ever visit to Norfolk. I should probably have gone for seafood on the menu, but the burger had an impressive billing, and eating out post-pandemic is still something of a rarity, leaving this blog neglected, so…

The order

The “Sands of time” burger featured:

6oz Prime Beef Burger. Cheese, Smoked Bacon, Onion Rings, Beef Tomato on a Bed of Mixed Leaves in a Brioche Bun, served with Fries and Burger Relish.

Which sounded pretty good to me.

The meat of it

The rather ludicrous plating was fun. Unnecessary knife literally embedded into the board, totally hilariously large onion rings adding unmanageable height to the stack… and of course, fun bougie basket of fries and pot of relish on the side.

In cross section… it has a little more going for it.

You can see pink, coarse ground, loosely packed meat making up a beautiful patty. You can see thick bacon and melty cheese – the bacon, whilst back, was crispy around the edges. The salad is bright and fresh. The bun – so far – is holding up. Toasted but soft – though not that warm, unfortunately. The onion rings – left the building. Fun, but a side, not a central part of this burger’s flavour profile or structure.

First bite – bitter edge from slightly too much salad (rocket? spinach? not standard lettuce), crisp umami from the bacon and melty cheddar, and tasty, slightly undersalted but otherwise well flavoured beef. The meat carries a slight funk, like it’s been dry-aged and was juicy with good mouthfeel. The relish added light sweetness without the vinegary effect you can get with ketchup. It was firmly not bad, but, beyond the choice of salad leaves, a couple of minor notes to the chef… heavier on the salt would not have hurt this burger. The strong flavour of the meat needed its savoury edge. And a hotter griddle for the crust would have added textural depth… one this burger needed, as by the time I got to the second half, the juice had completely soaked the lower bun, which was dissolving. That said, the bun was soft and tasty, so points where its due.

On the sides – I’ll treat the onion rings as sides. Despite thick slices of onion within the batter, there was little natural sweetness from the onion nor savoury bite from the batter – they were underseasoned, and I must have just gotten unlucky with the onion. The texture was otherwise crisp and on point.

The fries – were well fried and well seasoned, but seemed standard french-fry cut frozen chips. Nothing bad about them, but little to write home about.

£14.50 for the lot would have been reasonable in London, and I guess is the going rate in a Tourist-heavy town with ‘arguably the best view’ in Wells (it wasn’t bad).

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  3.5/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste –  3.5/5
Sides – 3/5 
Value – 3.5/5

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – my hopes (and perhaps standards) aren’t high for burgers in restaurants that don’t specialise in them (or steak more generally), so this really wasn’t bad.

The deets

Stroll along the Quay in Wells and you’ll find Sands Restaurant upstairs at no. 13. Or visit the website here.

Cut & Grind, Kings Cross revisited: The Radical Vegan

The best vegan burger 

Burger source

I’ve reviewed Cut & Grind before – tl;dr, it’s extraordinary. The care, the craft, the ingredients, the construction, the care in the condiments – glorious.

I met a veggie friend there for lunch, and had a brief chat with the owner Pas – who I caught on his way to and from the National Burger Awards – he waxed lyrical about his plans for the Radical Vegan – the restaurant’s own meat-alternative burger, constructed with soy and pea protein.

I’ve tried Honest’s Plant Burger, and a couple of others using both the Beyond Burger and the Moving Mountains plant burger, so thought it’d be interesting to try.

Small disclaimer: Pas was at college with me, though we didn’t know each other, we’re friendly and have friends in common. I was not comped or incentivised in any way to write this review.

The order

So Radical Vegan it was. Served with the new-look v-cut fries.

The meat of it

img_20200219_131127

You can see a decent melt on the cheese and a good amount of crispy onions falling out the side. Fresh, bright salad and the sweet, crisp pickles surround the perfect stack. The bun is soft and sturdy.

In cross section…

img_20200219_131224

You’d absolutely be forgiven for thinking this was real meat. The texture, the colour, – absolutely perfect. The outer crust looks different – it’s coated with a crispy something – no idea what it was – but it gave the burger an absolutely delightful crunch. Couple that with a very convincing meatiness, and I’d say eight in ten people wouldn’t know it wasn’t meat. Extraordinary. The other elements of the burger are perfectly balanced – a simple bun, adding to texture and bite but not flavour. The not-cheese, adding savouriness and bind but not complexity. The sweet pickles and the mild mustard providing sweet and mild spicy undertones to everything. Just perfect balance.

The fries…

img_20200219_131120

It’s possibly hard to see what they’ve done here, but these are ‘V-cut’ fries – a little hollow, perfect for sauce. But the increased surface area on these bites of potato gives more room for crisp/fluffy contrast, tonnes of surface area for the perfect level of salty seasoning and… well, they’re possibly the best fries I’ve ever had. Simply extraordinary. They deserve poetry I have no intention of writing. But someone should.

The ketchup – I suspect still home made though I didn’t check – is a new recipe from last time. Smoother, less sickly, and delightful.

Just the perfect plate of food.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5 – I haven’t had the impossible burger, but this is the best of everything else I’ve tried
Taste –  5/5 – whilst I’d probably prefer a C&G regular beef burger, that’s because they’re ALSO extraordinary. And yet I’d still have to think about it.

Sides – 5/5 – poetry fries

Value – 5/5 – £12.50 for burger and fries, INCLUDING service. Worth the trip.

Burger rating – 5/5 –  C&G was already one of my favourite burgers in London. This cements its spot at the top.

The deets

About 10 minutes’ walk from King’s Cross, this place is worth the trip.

Seven Seeds Williamsburg, Wythe Street, Brooklyn

Finely cooked (underseasoned) burger, eccentrically topped

Burger source

Our final meal on this visit to the US was a brunch with cousins from Singapore in a Eastern Mediterranean style restaurant in the most modern style of hotel you can imagine in North Brooklyn. Totally normal.

The burger had no grand billing but it was ground and cooked on site, and sounded interesting, so I thought I’d risk the eccentricity of the Mediterranean stylings and see where it landed.

The order

I had the Seven Seeds Burger – Angus beef, goat cheese, shaved cucumber, pickled red onion, toum.

The meat of it

Let’s look again.

There are some very interesting elements to this burger. There’s a good crust; the pickled onion looks fresh, bright and inviting, offering sharpness and sweetness in one. The bun looks soft and has a welcome light toasting. The cucumber – no. That’s not ‘shaved’ cucumber, that’s not even a ‘sliced’ cucumber. That’s a full on wedge of cucumber. Too much, picked out and eaten on its own. It was fine. You can see a small pot of toum hiding between the burger and the seasoned fries.

In cross section:

You can see how well balanced this burger is. Perfect coarse grind, bright pink meat, lovely juices held pub by a soft, airy, plain bun.

But… and it’s not an insubstantial but… the first bite unlocks very little flavour. The burger is hefty but underseasoned; the cuts of meat used were insipid – if I had to guess – I’d say it was heavy on chuck. The toppings aren’t evenly spread and it takes to bite two or three to get the feta and pickle properly involved… and they do help considerably, the savoury goo of the feta adds a much needed umami tang. But the flavour is just odd (for my palate) and the mouthfeel of the feta isn’t entirely pleasant, gumming up your mouth unexpectedly.

It’s such a shame as the burger/bun combination is in many ways glorious – good crust, melty meat, tender and juicy with every mouthful. It just doesn’t taste of very much.

As to the fries, they were lightly seasoned and (for me) slightly too lightly fried. Occasional crisp bites but some soft ones. The pot of toum was delicious, though and was better than any aioli as a dip for the fries. Perhaps I should have doused the burger in it…

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5

Build – 4/5

Burger – 3/5

Taste – 3/5

Sides – 3.5/5 – bump for the toum

Value – 4/5 – $19 + service for the burger and fries seemed reasonable for this kind of place in this part of town

Burger rating – 3/5 – there really wasn’t enough flavour to score it higher

The deets

The Seven Seeds Restaurant is downstairs in the Williamsburg Hotel, on Wythe Street in Brooklyn. Find it and book here. Probably don’t have the burger, though, unless you’re a huge feta fan. The other food looked more interesting and was great, by all accounts.