Tag: review

Seagrass Salcombe, South Sands, Salcombe

Posted in Country, Gourmety, Outside London, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Overcooked, well-formed seaside fayre

Burger source

Seagrass sits right on South Sands beach – one of two eateries in the small harbour. Formerly the South Sands Hotel restaurant, it’s rebranded but the pitch is the same: seafood-heavy menu, West Country sourcing, and a terrace view that almost certainly makes everything taste better. We were staying nearby on holiday, it was the local, and – full disclosure – I may not have gone planning to review a burger. But there it was on the menu, the South Sands Burger, and it called to me.

The order

The South Sands Burger: an 8oz steak burger, emmental, beef tomato, onion, cos lettuce, spicy tomato relish, pickled gherkin, brioche bun, served with skinny fries. £19.50 on the menu. We went early doors – 6pm, as a family, one of only a couple of tables in – so no queue, no rush, nothing. Though we had booked – if you’re going, do, especially in holiday season, as walk-ins were told there was nothing available, not even for ready money.

The meat of it

First impression: this has heft; the bun was glossy and domed, a token, sad, dry-looking gherkin speared on top like a flag planted on a small brown hill. Red onion rings thick enough to have their own gravitational field peek out from under the top bun, and you can see a glorious melt on the cheese.

Cut it in half and the cross-section tells the rest of the story: a thick disc of patty, cooked through with no pink remaining. The meat is coarse ground, I think, but tightly packed – making it dense – but not quite maintaining structural integrity the whole way through (as you can see from the random, large gaps). A landslide of melted emmental goops over it, the onion and tomato atop, and a token single leaf of cos lettuce layered beneath. Build looks the part – properly stacked, nothing sliding out sideways.

First bite, and the bun’s the first thing you register – good flavour, properly brioche-y, but overtoasted to the point of dryness. The patty follows, and it’s the real story: 8oz of well-seasoned beef, cooked just past where it wanted to be, leading to a crumbly texture. That said, the burger as a whole wasn’t dry; a decent lean-to-fat ratio held things together somewhat.

Vegetables did their job – the onion and tomato both crisp and properly fresh, no sad limp slices here. The cos lettuce, though, was doing token duty at best: one leaf, presumably there to stop the bottom bun going soggy, contributing little more. The gherkin suffered similarly – dry, more garnish than ingredient. Next time: a proper thin-sliced pickle worked into the build will do for this burger than a token spear balanced on top ever will.

The emmental was surprising. Normally I’m sceptical of emmental on a burger – too mild, too polite for the job – but heaped on and properly melted like this, it brought unctuousness to the texture and a genuine umami lift that you’d expect to need a sharper cheese for. And the relish is worth calling out on its own: closer to an Indian-style chutney than a standard tomato relish, mustard seeds coming through, a hint of sweet vinegar, real tang. It’s doing the sweet-savoury balancing act the burger needed, and doing it well.

The fries deserve their own paragraph, frankly. Skin-on, home-style, skinny – cooked and seasoned to the point where there’s nothing to fault. Good on their own. Better dunked – I ran mine through Zoe’s unwanted tartare sauce (fish and chips casualty), then through the last of the relish, and they were great in both. Zoe clocked how good they were before anyone else at the table said a word, which either speaks to some early culinary discernment developing, or to the fact that good fries are just obviously, unmissably good.

Pudding. The South Sands Summer Fruit Pavlova (Chantilly cream, meringue, fresh raspberries and strawberries, £12.50 as billed) was a genuinely good plate of food – cream piled and shaped into a dense ball, clearly the good stuff from the famous local Salcombe Dairy, whipped properly thick enough to use as a building material. Meringue underneath light and crisp, fruit fresh and sweet, a citrusy coulis drizzle – mango or passionfruit, hard to call – adding brightness on top. Lovely pudding. At that price, though, you’re paying the tourist tax as much as the dessert bill.

Verdict: for the burger; the components were mostly good, in places genuinely excellent, but let down by the two things that could have been better – the bun (overtoasted, dry) and the patty (overcooked, crumbly rather than juicy). The kids had opinions, too – Emily had one to herself, the rest all had a bite each – it played to their tastebuds, and their training is not complete yet. In time, they’ll understand what it was missing: a softer bun, toasted on the inside only, and a patty allowed to keep some pink in the middle. With that… this would genuinely competes with the best of them. As it stands, it’s a burger doing well in a restaurant that’s clearly built around something else.

Monkey finger rating

  • Bun – 3.5/5. Great flavour, let down by overtoasting and the resulting dryness.
  • Build – 4/5. Good stacking, but one sad lettuce leaf and a token dry gherkin drag it down.
  • Burger – 3.5/5. Well-seasoned 8oz of good beef, but overcooked into crumbliness.
  • Taste – 4/5. The relish and the melted emmental do a lot of lifting here and rebalance things.
  • Sides – 5/5. Skin-on skinny fries, cooked and seasoned to perfection – held up in mayo, tartare and relish alike. No notes.
  • Value – 3/5. £19.50 for the burger and fries is about the going rate these days. The pavlova? Daylight robbery.
  • Burger rating – 4/5. Good bones, good flavours, slightly hit by overcooking on both bun and patty – a genuinely good effort, inches from being a proper contender.

The ambience of it all

Worth saying: the setting is genuinely lovely, right on South Sands beach with the estuary view doing exactly what it’s meant to. It was calm and peaceful, a sunny day easing into a gentle breeze – the kind of view that makes you forgive quite a lot before the food’s even landed. Arriving at 6pm meant near-empty tables, quick service, and food that landed hot and fresh. Highly recommend the experience.

The deets

Seagrass Salcombe – South Sands Hotel, Bolt Head, Salcombe, TQ8 8LL
Tel: 01548 845900 · seagrass@southsands.com

Gaucho, Hampstead via Deliveroo, London 

Posted in Chain, Delivery, london, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Overcooked, overbunned, underwhelming

Burger source 

Gaucho has a history of serving some of the best Argentine steak in London. Craft, quality ingredients and an upscale experience have long been its stock in trade. Three decades on, is it still going strong? Let’s see whether its delivered burger lives up to my memory of the steak.

The order 

Gaucho burger: featuring what is presumably an Argentine beef patty, smoked ketchup, melted cheese, chimichurri, and a portion of skin-on chips.

The meat of it 

On first look, I’m hopeful. The perfect melt on the pale cheese (cheddar, I think), the thin-sliced home made pickles, the strong char, the shiny bun, the crisp, well-seasoned looking fries. Let’s look in cross-section.

In cross-section, appearances initially seem promising: a robust bun, a coarse grind to the beef, good layering of veg, pickled onions and lettuce, smoked ketchup, and some mayo or aioli that hasn’t escaped from the burger. The pale cheese is evenly distributed. But something’s not right. The meat isn’t grey, but it isn’t pink either. There’s little grease. It feels dense as I cut through it. How does it hold up to taste?

First bite… there’s a heavy crust to the beef, but it’s too lightly seasoned. There’s a dense chew to the bun, and there’s too much of it. The pickles are bland; none of the bright, sweet crispness I associate with homemade, thin-sliced pickley goodness. The coarse-ground meat has a hint of dry-aged funk about it but is literally dry, needing the aioli to balance it out. The ketchup is on the cloyingly sweet side, while the cheese is so subtle as to be practically invisible, lacking the molten goo of cheaper American cheese. The overall mouthfeel is brittle and arid. Beef breaks off in chunks and crumbles rather than melting away; the cheese adds little, while the veg falls away in clumps, adding crunch but no flavour, brightness or contrast. The char is more reminiscent of an overcooked barbecue burger than a quality sear from an expensive griddle plate. If there was chimichurri in this, it was beyond my palate to detect it.

It’s disappointing. Quality ingredients have been wasted through poor cooking technique, middling seasoning and weak flavour combinations. The team behind this should spend time at Five Guys or another specialist burger outfit to understand that great burgers rely on the components working together, melding into something greater than the sum of their parts. This isn’t that. It’s less.

The fries are a mixed bag. Literally. A generous portion of attractive-looking fries turns out to be an inconsistent mix of undercooked and underseasoned chips. When they’re good, they’re actually quite decent: crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, seasoned just enough, and pairing well with a dunk in ketchup and mayo. But too many are chewy, suggesting they weren’t par-cooked or fried for long enough. Empty calories and, unusually for me, left unfinished.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5 – too chewy 
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 2/5 
Taste –  2/5  
Sides – 3/5 -bump for the onion fries   
Value – 3/5 – £18 incl. delivery, service charge etc., and a 20% Deliveroo discount.  

Burger rating – 2/5 – would not go again. 

The deets 

There are Gauchos all over. Go there for the steak and maybe don’t bother with delivery. This was disappointing.

Squeezed Bristol, Wapping Wharf, Bristol

Posted in Outside London, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Gooey, sweet and savoury smashburger

Burger source 

My friend Simon was adamant that this pop-up shop shaped burger restaurant was a paragon, nay an exemplar – for all other burger shops to follow, and his favourite burger shop in all of Bristoldom. He then proceeded to get very nervous when he heard me describing my ‘process’ – god, I’ve got a process now. What have I become? Were any of his fears merited?

Let’s get into it.

The order 

I had the St Werburger, and am only now regretting not asking what that means (Google suggests it might have something to do with the city of Chester, as St Werburgh is the patron saint of that self-same city – notable for not being Bristol – but perhaps Google’s other suggestion – that it is a reference to the Bristol neighbourhood of St Werburg – is more likely). It featured double beef patties, smoked bacon & caper aioli, Monterey Jack cheese, chipotle ketchup and confit shallots. With their skin-on fries, natch.

The meat of it 

I do like a basket burger. There’s something about the basket that immediately sorts most of the presentation challenges any burger might have. It looks good – a generous portion of fries, a glossy bun with a very melty, very tidy-looking double stack. Visually, this is douze points so far.

In cross section (we had to ask for cutlery and got their only set – it’s that kind of place, which is all for the better):

Let’s go through the stack. The bun is holding up to a very juicy patty, despite being soft in itself. There’s a peek at the chipotle ketchup and its promise of sweet, vinegary heat. The patties themselves are big lads, thicker than you’d expect of a smashburger and lacking the crenellated edges that make all really world class smash burgers remind you of the Fjords of Norway.

The beef is loosely packed, coarse ground and cuts like butter. The cheese is melted in an unctuous layer, amplified by a generous portion of the mega savoury caper and bacon aioli. The bun flops into submission, soft and fresh, but manages to hold on to structural integrity nonetheless. It carries a reasonable heft and really needs a taste now.

First bite… its soft; hot and fresh (the kitchen is about 5 feet from where we are sat). The cheese and aioli and sweet confit shallots and vinegary kethcup add a depth and contrast of flavour that wallops you in the tastebuds. It’s hard to process, as there’s so much going on and yet – in all the glorious mess of it – there’s a coherence. The ketchup cuts through the salt bomb and adds sweet contrast. The beef (whether it is truly dry aged or not, I have no idea) carries a light funk, adding complexity and depth to every bite. The shallots and aioli, are balanced and tempered by each other, and all of it wrapped in the gloriously soft and inexplicably, irrationally robust bun.

It’s an incredible gestalt. I have to force myself to take smaller and smaller bites, to eke out the pleasure of it. And then, when forced by the mantle I give myself as burger don, to critique it – I had only minor, minor notes:

  1. Smash the burger harder into the grill. Let’s get those burger fjords, and crunchy bites!
  2. Go slightly lighter on the toppings. There’s a lot going on. onions and ketchup played the same functional purpose, we could have simplified, or at least made it slightly less messy.

That’s it. Very close to a paragon.

On the fries… we saw them slop a floppy portion of skin-on fries straight into the fryer from a soft, non-freezer bag. This made me worry that they would braise more than fry and struggle to get crunch. I was partially justified on first taste – there’s something slightly stale and chewy about the fries, despite them also being fresh from the fryer. That said – it was a relatively minor complaint. Many of the fries were crispy enough, they seemed well cooked (if not well all well prepared,). The seasoning was fascinating – I think cumin, paprika, salt and pepper? Really distinctive and interesting and extremely moreish. Next time, freeze them first broskis – get them dried out and full of ice crystals and they’ll taste fresher and even crispier.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5  – held it together despite heavy opposition
Build – 4.5/5 – bit heavy with the mayo
Burger – 4.5/5 – harder sear
Taste –  4.5/5 – really jolly nice 
Sides – 3/5 – hit by the stale-ish fries, redeemed a bit by the seasoning   
Value – 4/5 – £19 for burger and lemonade, ish.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – really jolly nice. 

The deets 

Well worth the mile or so stroll from Bristol Temple Meads station. And what a lovely city.

Meat Stop residency, Commercial Tavern, Commercial Street, London

Posted in london, Pop up, Pub, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Sumptuous, rich Oklahoma style tribute

Burger source 

I’m confident in my mid-life crisis here, so I’ll confess that I saw this place blowing up on TikTok, and it was conveniently close to the office. Particularly on a day when the tube strikes meant my route required an Overground train, so I *had* to walk past it after a slightly late finish at the office…

The conceit is Essex-farmed, Essex-sourced, local high quality produce; dry-aged beef ground daily, ‘custom spec brioche’ (maybe it has upgraded RAM? – I took this as code that they don’t make it but ask for an extra egg yolk or something in there) – all cooked fresh on site, daily.

The videos and photos I’d seen made this look truly drool worthy, so was excited to see how it shaped up.

The order 

This was tough, on the burger front. I mean, obviously I wasn’t going to order the peanut butter burger because I’m not Elvis, but otherwise… Classic, Oklahoma style (‘the car boot’), Stilton (usually better than I expect it to be), cheese and bacon (well, pancetta), or a classic cheeseburger… Even with a small menu, I felt spoilt for choice!

And so naturally, I opted out of the decision – I asked the server what she recommended and when she called the Car Boot, that was decision made. I had a side of ‘skins’ – rough cut new potatoes, triple fried and heavily seasoned.

The meat of it 

It’s a pretty burger. It arrived wrapped, which probably helped the melt on that glorious cheese. The char on the burger and the onions is in obvious evidence – Oklahoma style, for the uninitiated, involves layering a large pile of thin-sliced onions on the raw side of the patty after it hits the grill, then flipping it and charring them in. The bun is toasted, warm and soft to touch. It’s good.

No cutlery, so first bite is also the cross-section…

Ok, maybe I had a couple of bites.

The melange of flavours and textures is an immediate joy. You get the char, the slight bitterness from the crisped onions, the sweetness of the rich, juicy, well-seasoned beef and the velvety unguence of the cheese, blended into a glorious gestalt. The bun holds up and adds sweetness and bready flavour contrast in one; it’s almost in perfect balance. The dry-aged beef is uncomplicated, but that’s not a criticism – it’s simple, delicious and high grade. The lean/fat ratio is spot on, making it juicy but not outrageously messy. It’s cooked to a perfect pink, as you can see, with coarse ground, loose packed meat – just how I like it. The patty has a good heft, too, probably in the 6oz territory, making this a pretty well packaged, pretty well sized bundle of joy.

As to its limitations, it’s hard to critique this as I haven’t had a lot of Oklahoma style burgers in the past so I don’t have much of a frame of reference. From what I’ve heard, they sometimes have a bit more sweetness and crunch from the onions, and the burger does want somewhat for textural contrast. It’s very… soft. But that’s lovely in its own way; the onions cooking on the grill are meant to steam the burger and leave it tender and fresh. From a sweet/savoury contrast perspective, I don’t know if you’d pollute Oklahoma style with some burger sauce or relish, but it was *very* savoury. I love that, so happy with it as was, but thoughtful about the possibility.

All in all – excellent.

As to the side… No fries here, just these skin-on new potatoes, cut into uneven chunks. The result is a mix of crispy corners and chunky, fluffy new potato clouds, all heavily salted and served with a sauce of your choosing (at a premium of 2 quid per sauce pot). I went for a garlic aioli, which added a slick tempering of the – extremely but justifiably – heavily salted new potatoes. I normally gravitate exclusively to the crisp chunks but the fluffier, chunkier lumps were delicious too. I unexpectedly inhaled the substantial portion; can recommend.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5  
Build – 4.5/5 
Burger – 5/5 
Taste –  4.5/5  
Sides – 4.5/5 – think I marginally preferred the new potatoes at The Plimsoll, but it’s a close call.   

Value – 4/5 – £23 for burger, side and drink feels reasonable.  

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – this one is up there

The deets 

The Commercial Tavern is a well known and well-liked drinkery a few minutes from Liverpool Street, Shoreditch High Street and Aldgate East. Highly recommended for the newfound residents, kudos Meat Stop. 

Chapman’s Bar, Pangkor Laut Resort, Malaysia

Posted in International, Outside London, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Very well balanced 

Burger source 

Pangkor Laut Resort is the only resort on the tiny island of Pangkor Laut – a small island somewhat to the South of Pangkor proper. It has about five restaraunts and this was from one of them – Chapman’s Bar, named for a British colonel who escaped the war in a submarine from Emerald Bay – the secluded spot where the bar is situated.

It’s visually stunning as a place to eat – but HOW, I hear you ask, was the burger? Surely the most important criteria for planning beach holidays and family escapes…

The order 

The burger – served with onion rings and medium cut fries – was served on a toasted, seeded bun with onion chutney, fresh tomato and lettuce, I think melted cheese, and a hand made burger patty. It was – surprisingly – offered to me medium or well done. Having not lived in Malaysia since 1993, and not having had great experiences of the burger scene here since the burger renaissance started in the 2000s, my expectations were for a slightly charred puck of beef regardless…

[Sidebar – I really hope that the burger renaissance achieves some form of prominence in the years to come, as a formal period in culinary history. I suspect not, but if it does – I will be proud if I make up part of the historical record with this humble offering]

The meat of it 

OK on the aesthetic – first impressions are good. The fries are golden, as advertised. The onion rings – only 2 were provided, the rest were gifted by my kids who don’t like onion – well, they were dry despite the golden batter, speaking of a good deep-frying process that doesn’t leave pooled grease in every crevice in the batter.

The burger itself is well stacked, salad underpinning the beef, itself topped with cheese and chutney – and there is a good char on both the inside of the buns and the meat. The salad itself looks bright and fresh, with condensation beading on the fridge fresh tomato (a think at equatorial climes). As to what happens in cross section…

 

I’m blown away. Whilst the meat is quite densely packed and quite finely ground, it is cooked, as promised, to a perfect medium. The bun, disappointingly, whilst beautifully charred on the inside, is cold to touch and just slightly the wrong ratio for what felt like a 5oz patty – too much bread to burger. This wasn’t disastrous but diluted the flavour with each bite somewhat.

Speaking of which… first bite… brilliant, crunchy char on the meat, which is well seasoned. The burger is juicy and tender; the onion chutney adding sweetness and a nice bit of textural contrast. The tomato is sweet too, not just watering things down as tomato slices can do but actually adding complementary favour – very unexpected. The cheese – is a non entity – a thin slice of processed cheese is lost, in every sense of the word – you can neither see, nor feel, nor taste it. The bread is fresh enough but just too bready. So whilst it is in many ways a very well balanced burger, it is the bread that throws it off somewhat. Still – really good by every objective measure. The kids – the two of them that also had the burger – also loved it (in their salad-free, well done incarnations – heathens, and something I will work through with them in the fullness of time).

As to the sides?

The fries were more or less as you’d hope – crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, lovely on their own or dunked in ketchup or mayo. Very slightly light on the salt, perhaps, but very much in judgement call territory.

The onion rings were a bit odd – the onions were neither crisp and fresh nor squidgy and over fried, nor any texture in between. I suspect they were slightly old onions which didn’t cope well with the process. They were OK though, other than the slightly odd texture of the onions – the batter was crisp and light – if again, slightly underseasoned. Decent dunked.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5  

Value – n/a. Everything here is expensive but also part of the inclusive ‘residents’ packages if you book semi-all inclusive so… it’s part of the experience  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would recommend to any visitors to the island. 

The deets 

Pangkor Laut is a 15 minute boat ride from Marina Island Jetty, a 3 hour drive from KL. Chapman’s Bar is a pleasant <10 minute golf buggy ride from the main resort, facing into the beautiful swimming beach that is Emerald Bay.

Star by Liverpool Street, London

Posted in london, Pub, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Undersized, underseasoned, underwhelming – but fun

Burger source 

A much needed team night out took us to the Star by Liverpool St; the limited menu did feature a tasty sounding smash burger, so it felt worth a try.

The order 

The burger featured two aged aurox smash patties, cheese, smoked mustard butter, whisky caramelised onions and house sauce. Together with rosemary skin-on fries – the combo tapped out at £19.

If you’re wondering what an aurox is, it is apparently either an [sic] auroch, an extinct breed of wild ox, or a cryptocurrency. Given it seemed to consist of ground up cow meat, I’m assuming it was some modern ox variant with a self-important genetic heritage.

The meat of it 

It looks decent. Excellent melt on the cheese, good char on the patty, tasty looking burger sauce slathered on generously. The bun looks robust but standard – not a bad thing, standing up to the structure of the burger and providing starchy, comforting accompaniment; a potentially harmonious pairing.

In cross section:

A few things become immediately apparent; whilst the structure is robust, it’s immediately clear that the bun is cold (boo) and untoasted (double boo). The next thing you notice is that the patties cover – at most – 2/3rds of the surface area of the bun. It feels light in hand. The coarse ground smash burgers look small and decent but there isn’t the crunch of a truly lacy smash patty when I cut the cross section. Everything holds together, so it’s time for…

…first taste. The burger is ok, texturally, perhaps a little underseared. The bigger crime is that it is also underseasoned, as well as being a little too small. The meat is a little bland as a result, also apparently lacking the usual funk of dry-aged beef (something about the process, or the aurox breed(?))… The bun’s starchiness is not contrasting well with the not-quite-savoury-enough bite of the burger either, instead combining into an indifferent melange of blandness. The cheese is barely present, the onions don’t seem to be there at all, and the (thick) slice of pickle I was gifted with added – some brightness – but didn’t feel quite right; there was no scent of summer in it at all, no memory of sunshine and long evenings; of cooling breezes and wind in the trees.

But the burger sauce is decent – adding moisture and flavour contrast, and the net impact isn’t horrible – it’s just a slightly underwhelming burger. Not terrible; but [ironically] not worth writing home about. That said; my compatriots who also had the burger had different experiences (better ratios, better flavour), so your mileage may vary.

As to the rosemary seasoned fries? They were also inconsistently portioned – my bowl was half as full as my neighbour’s. But the seasoning was good – not overly heavy on the rosemary, but distinctive. The fries were crisp but fluffy on the inside with a good starchy flavour. Excellent on their own or dunked in ketchup and mayo. Not quite a paragon, but really not far off the top of the class for that style of skin-on, not-quite-chunky chip.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5 – points off for cold and untoastedness  
Build – 5/5 – for all that the ingredients were underwhelming, you can’t argue with the architecture here
Burger – 2.5/5 – underseasoned, small patties, underseared, and pretentiously bred 
Taste –  3/5 – somehow it’s sort of OK in spite of all of that 
Sides – 4/5 – they’re just rosemary fries. But they’re good ones.   

Value – 4/5 – £19 for burger and fries, which is depressingly standard for this part of London.  

Burger rating – 2.5/5 – it’s just fine. 

The deets 

All that said; this was one of the most fun nights out I’ve had in a long time. A lot of that was the fantastic company I was with, but some of it was the affordable and well maintained karaoke rooms, the flights of Baby Guinnesses that seemed a necessary part of proceedings, and the excellent service we had throughout the evening. You wouldn’t go to the Star for their bar burger – but you might to have an amazing night with your friends – and the burger is inoffensive enough that you’d welcome it as a way of keeping your consumption balanced.

Liverpool Street Chop House & Tavern, Liverpool St, London

Posted in Gourmety, london, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

A luscious, well-made smash burger

Burger source

Searching for a new burger place to review after TEN YEARS of reviewing burgers is hard. And finding somewhere convenient to meet up with old friends brings a separate set of challenges. I haven’t yet managed to prompt AI into useful suggestions but some old fashioned Googling led me to discover the Chop House & Tavern – a category of institution that feels as British as it comes, and was it was an an absolute – albeit pricy – treat.

Their concept is centred on ethical, seasonal produce served in a comforting, olde-world environment – with a modern twist. Here’s how they put it:

We celebrate the best seasonal produce including signature chops and steaks from our ‘Ethical Butcher’ partner farms; the finest example of animal husbandry and regenerative farming practices in the UK.

The Liverpool Street Chop House and Tavern is a reimagining of Sir Terence Conran’s original Chop House’s and the spirit of the original Taverns of The City of London from 1690

It’s a great place to eat.

The order

The Chop Shop Burger – nearly eponymous – at £22.50, plus a side of their beef dripping fries was called for. Whilst their description is more about the vibe of the burger – I can tell you it’s a double smash burger, featuring home made pickles, fresh salad, and a mayo-rich burger sauce (possibly just their very fine house-made mayo). The beef dripping fries… are just that, at £6.75.

Here’s the the burger was billed – all the vibes:

Made from 100% British grass-fed beef, our burgers combine select cuts for a naturally rich flavour. Freshly prepared, succulent, tender and responsibly sourced – a burger you can genuinely feel good about.

The meat of it

That is a pretty burger. You can see the vegetables – some kind of heritage tomato, some kind of chopped gem lettuce, fresh pickles, perfectly melted cheese on the lacy smash patty, enclosed in this rather impressive branded glossy bun.

In cross section…

More is revealed – you can see the tidy stacking – tomato, lettuce protecting the bun from the juicy patties. Double stacked patties with cheese on each layer. Pickles and mayo atop. A lovely, airy grain to the sturdy bun – which holds up in spite of the ludicrously juicy burgers contained within.

First bite… there’s a good bite on the well-charred patties, which seem well seasoned. The dry-aged funk of whatever choice beef cuts are in there is a thrill, the smell and taste combining to be a gestalt that is impressively dynamic. The savoury moisture from the mayo, the salty unguence from the cheese – binds this all together beautifully. Second bite earns me fresh salad, and bright, crisp, sweet pickles. It continues to be delicious.

Somewhere mid burger I sense that the sear wasn’t even, and nor was the seasoning – the meat on its own  is a little underwhelming – but the coarse grain of the patty, and the underlying quality of the meat, with the balance of flavours and textures across the burgers more than make up for these minor notes. It’s a treat.

As to the chips… £6.75 is extortionate for the portion – whilst it’s not an ungenerous helping, I’m not sure chips should ever cost nearly £7. BUT… they taste of steak, cooked as they are in beef dripping, and they seem lightly but evenly seasoned (a friend complained that they were plainer at the top and saltier at the bottom, but maybe one of us got lucky?). To my mind… they were near perfect – at least double fried, I would imagine, if not triple cooked – beefy, crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside – a paradigm of British chips. Skin on adds taste and texture, as does whatever potato varietal they used, which was rich and flavourful. Dunked in some of the brilliant house mayo and ketchup – and this was a top quality side, even at nearly £7.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5 – flawless, in spite of the ostentation of the brand
Build – 5/5 – precise and quality controlled
Burger – 4.5/5 – minor deduction for seasoning and sear
Taste –  5/5 – it really was close to flawless
Sides – 4,5/5 – I can’t give 5/5 for a £7 side dish of chips, even if they were nearly perfect 
Value – 4/5 – £30 for burger and side is a lot; add in a drink and the 13.5% suggested service charge and you’re not walking away with change from £40 for one. It was hefty, and whilst I know things cost more than they did – I can’t score this one higher than a four in spite of its brilliant taste.

Burger rating – 5/5 – the overall experience is still a five. Service was fab, the setting was comfortable and surprisingly unpretentious, the food was really delicious, and I’m going to let that trump the slightly sore wallet I’m going to have in the morning.

The deets

It’s a minute from Liverpool Street station – a very good place to catch up with very good friends, over some very good – if pricey – food. Find more here.

Maxwells, Covent Garden, London

Posted in Bacon, london, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Great build, rubbery meat, inoffensive sauce

Burger source 

I remember (vaguely) having a really good, albeit random, night out with old university friends that started in a bar that was on the same site as Maxwell’s, ending in the nightclub that was Roadhouse on the far side of Covent Garden, about 20 years ago. Good times.

This time around, I was meeting with a former colleague who was based in the area and who – for some inexplicable reason – wanted both the experience of dining through a burger tasting with me, and to catch up at the same time. So we did both; he had a head-sized margarita and I talked him through my process. This one’s dedicated to you, Steve.

[I appreciate this section is normally occupied with some chicanery about the reasons I was drawn to this particular burger venue; their approach to farm-to-plate food, fine ingredients for fine dining, etc., but in all honesty, I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade, I’ve tried the burgers everywhere, and a lot of the new upstarts frustratingly have very little dine-in space and/or are in sites where people don’t want to meet up with me. At some point I’ll have reason to do a burger tour of Peckham but I don’t think 2025 is the year… and, well, many of the places I haven’t reviewed just don’t have as compelling a story].

But… so as not to betray consistency – they have 50 years of dining experience. And have mastered culinary whatsits. Etcetera.

More generously – the vibes and service in this place were fab. Lovely cocktail bar/diner hybrid, replete with Americana, neon lighting, generous portions and weirdly hybrid meals (a Philly Cheesesteak served in a ciabatta? Sacrilege). We had fab service, they played great music, and it was a good time all around. But let’s get into the food.

The order 

My wont is to order the closest thing they have to a paradigmatic bacon cheeseburger. However I was thrown into a flurry of indecision by the fact they had both the Maxwell’s classic (featuring a traditional burger patty) and the Big Max’s Smash burger (featuring a double smash patty), both of which had optional bacon. I did the only thing a sane person could do in the circumstances; I asked the waitress, who made clear that the sensible choice was the Big Max’s. So Big Max’s it was; all the way to the top, featuring two smash patties, American cheese, lettuce, diced onion and their “proper” Big Max’s sauce. Plus bacon, natch.

I also had a Hakuna Matata to drink; a mocktail featuring mango juice, lychee juice, Monin mango syrup, watermelon syrup and lime juice… they might as well have called it the Type 2 diabetes. More to follow.

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look.

On first inspection, stray onion notwithstanding, this is a fine looking plate of food. There’s a pleasant sheen on the toasted brioche bun, an excellent melt on the cheese, what seems to be a decent char on the patties… and you can see bright, fresh salad peeking out the sides. The fries look crisp and hot; and whilst the bacon appears somewhat flaccid, there’s nevertheless a lot to hope for.

In cross section, there’s good (airy, warm bun with good structural integrity, excellent melt on the cheese, confirmed fresh salad), bad (bacon is under-grilled for my liking, sauce is a little watery) and straight up weird (how did the centre of a smashburger stay pink? these things are meant to be smashed to a meat-lace on the grill and crisped to savoury, almost crunchy perfection). I’m wary.

First taste… the flavour balance is actually OK. The bun adds sweetness and structure that contrasts elegantly with the salty cheese, which in turn gives some decent, unguent umami to boost the bacon. The meat is good quality but slightly rubbery in texture and perhaps a little under-seasoned. There’s a nice crunch from the onions, adding my much sought after textural contrast. The sauce is watery but adds moisture and a light, inoffensive sweetness to counterbalance the savoury bite… it’s OK. More bites reaffirm that, somehow – despite its limitations – the burger is decent. I have notes, but it’s pleasant and I’d recommend it.

My notes:

  • More seasoning on the meat, bros. Flavour is your friend,
  • Thicken up and season that sauce a bit more; vinegar; some diced pickle, add some sharpness to balance the sweet too
  • Crisp that patty! Smash it harder!
  • Render the fat in the bacon. And switch to streaky. It’s not a salad.

Otherwise – pretty good! Would go again.

On the fries… they were excellent quality. They came a little under seasoned but that was easily remedied. And could perhaps have done with ever so slightly longer in the fryer.

The Hakuna Matata? Sugary delight. Order a side of insulin.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 -bump for the onion fries   
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and fries, £7 for the cocktail, and – amazingly – a 25% discount voucher courtesy of Steve’s winning charm added value to the experience. But v reasonable for this part of London.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – good – but room to improve. 

The deets 

34 King Street, just round from Cov’t Garden tube. I really wish I remember what was there about 20 years ago… Can recommend. Details, booking etc – all here.

Beast & Field, Box Park, Shoreditch

Posted in Bacon, Gourmety, High street, london, Pop up, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

A burger of contrasts

Burger source 

Honestly? I was trying to meet a friend at Dumbo Shoreditch after all the TikTok hype, but I didn’t realise that it was full-on, take-out only, so we retreated to the old faithful that is Box Park, and was delighted to find that Beast & Field had arrived since I last stopped in… Literal fresh meat.

Their mission, says their website, is simple. Make ethical eating easy and fun. In particular – they focus on getting grass-fed beef from farms they trust, cooking it well and pricing it sensibly. Did they succeed? SPOILERS.

The order 

They’ve only got one burger; a steak patty, with onion jam, crispy shallots, tomato, leaves, mayo and their own handmade organic burger bun. I added bacon (it’s an option!) and had a side of their chips, which come with smoked paprika and Himalayan salt, no less.

The meat of it

 

What’s wrong with this picture? Well clearly the bun is burnt; that’s not a deliberate look for it. But otherwise – strong melt on the cheese, good char on the meat, an elegant stack. The fake Lilt looks interesting, and the fries…. Well I’ll come back to that.

Cross section…

This started to restore confidence. Bright, fresh vegetables protect the lower bun. The meat is well proportioned and coarse ground, though perhaps a little well done for a thick patty. The onion jam promises some sweetness, the crispy shallots falling out the side promise some crunch, and the bacon is rended crisp but not glass-like in its texture. The bun has a good grain despite its overly browned state. In short; it’s looking good on the whole.

First bite… well, it’s definitely burned. The char on the bun adds bitterness and the bun is slightly dryer than intended. The meat is beautifully seasoned and has a lovely bite as you get through the well cooked exterior… but it slightly dryer than intended again from an over generous turn on the griddle. The bacon gives crunch, the shallots give crunch, the cheese adds further to unguent, umami goodness. There’s brightness from the veg and sweetness from the onion jam…. I find myself almost forgiving the burnt bun and the overdone meat as this burger strikes that perfect balance of sweet and savoury; of crunchy and comforting. If your home was made of 100% grass fed beef, this burger would taste of home – it is comforting and happy making, even with its flaws.

The sides?

Two things to speak of here; the chips first. They are glorious; tossed in a delightfully savoury set of seasonings (Himalayalicious), they are chip-shop cut – chunky – but double or triple fried so as to be brilliantly crispy and crunchy. The thickness means many of them maintain that pillowy fluffiness some people are so keen on in a chip; for me it was that on occasion, with a heavier dose of crunchy goodness that made these pretty much the paradigm of a chip. The sauce was a chimmichurri mayo; smooth, slightly sour, savoury, fresh and delicious. If only I hadn’t dropped half of it when I collected my order…

The fake lilt drink? Also delicious, though that was from Boxpark’s bar, so… can’t really count it.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  2.5/5 – major deductions for it being burnt.   
Build – 5/5 – can’t fault the construction
Burger – 4/5 – elsewhere this would have scored worse due to being overdone. But in gestalt, the quality of everything was aces 
Taste –  4/5  – better than expected; awesome flavour/culture contrast
Sides – 5/5 – cannot fault chips or dips
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and side, minus service (because Box Park, there is none) felt a lot given it was burnt. But it was a well constructed burger, the portion was generous, and inflation is a beast too.

Burger rating – 4/5 – the overall experience was joyous despite its constraints.

The deets 

There’s a few of these around; Boxpark, Mayfair, Ladbroke Grove & Shoreditch. Find your local; it’s worth a try. And if it’s burnt, sent it back and get them to do it right – it’s worth the fuss.

The Plimsoll, Finsbury Park, London N4

Posted in Gourmety, london, Pub, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Possibly perfect cheeseburger

Burger source

The Plimsoll is on so many ‘best burger’ reviews it’s almost obscene that it’s taken me nearly a decade of my burger gastronomic adventure to get out there. But thanks to an invite from local resident and corporate affairs industry watcher, Helen Dunne, I had a good reason to discover quite how accessible Finsbury Park is from Central London and give the gastro-pubbed refurb of the old, Auld (it used to be the Auld Triangle, so that was a pun), Irish pub and its famous ‘Dexter’ cheeseburger. Which I’m told is named for the Irish cow breed used for its meat, not the storied serial killer…

The pub is apparently under the management of chefs Jamie Allan and Ed McIlroy, who previously ran a pop up called the Four Legs @ the Compton Arms elsewhere in North London. But I couldn’t find a website, so blame me for citing a three year old Guardian article if I have this wrong… 

The order

If you want chips, this is the wrong place to be. I had the Dexter cheeseburger (beef, cheese, burger sauce, pickles, fresh onion, crispy onion, brioche – £14), and we shared a pile of ‘greens’ (it’s a Caesar salad of sorts, at £11) and ‘fried potatoes with aioli.’ (£7).

The meat of it

OMG. You can immediately see the butteriness of the bun; the double onion combo is spilling out the sides. The home made pickles speak of sweet and sour pleasure; the cheese is melted perfectly on a beautifully charred patty… and the glisten on the brioche. Wow. If looks could cause type two diabetes…

In cross section you can see the build is pretty much perfect. The plate remains clean despite the healthy amount of burger sauce that’s within, the bun is super soft but providing structure, the meat is coarse ground and the assembly precise. There’s a lot to play for.

First bite… soft bread, robust, perfectly seasoned bite to the patty and a melty, meaty centre. The sweet burger sauce and unguent, umami-rich cheese contrast beautifully, and the double onion combo gives you crisp and crunch in one. The pickle adds fresh, bright sweetness with a sour pickle edge and tastes of the summer day on which it was picked. The mouthfeel is fantastic, the flavour sublime.

It’s just a glorious combination. It feels and looks small but this thing is dense and packed with flavour. The first bite loads my hands with grease and burger sauce and I don’t even care; I switch over to cutlery to preserve my dignity and my shirt, and to draw out the luscious sensory experience. Every bite of this is like injecting pleasure into my taste buds; I don’t understand the appeal of class A drugs, but this… This I can see myself getting withdrawal symptoms from. It’s glorious.

On the sides…

I love that the salad was billed as “leaves with vinaigrette”; this felt like a loaded Caesar salad, dense with Parmesan and a slick sweet and savoury dressing – which is what you’d expect for the money. I wouldn’t exactly call it bright and fresh – this is a rich, rich salad – but it was a lovely contrast to the burger.

The potatoes – are perfectly tender and simultaneously crisp all over. I didn’t expect to love them – I LOVE chips – but they are beguiling, and provide a heft that ensures you walk away full – we didn’t finish one portion between the two of us.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5 – soft, buttery pleasure
Build – 5/5 – clinically precise, beautifully architected
Burger – 5/5 – inarguably extraordinary
Taste –  5/5 – flawless victory
Sides – 4/5 – these were great but felt a bit pricey 
Value – 5/5 – it wasn’t cheap but if this is what I get, this is what I pay for.

Burger rating – 5/5 – this deserves its billing as one of the top burgers in London. Absolutely extraordinary.

The deets

It’s about 4 minutes walk from Finsbury Park tube. Take the Station Way exit. Go tomorrow; Finsbury Park is < 10 minutes from Kings X on the Victoria Line so there’s really no excuse for anyone who’s based in London.