Uninspired diner-style burger with few redeeming features
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We’ve exhausted many of the mainstays of the London burger scene, but this place made it onto a few top ten lists and had phenomenal photography, so we decided to stop by.
The website sells it like so:
An infusion of soul and a nod to the past, Stax Diner brings you an authentic, all American dining experience in London.
Which should perhaps have been a good warning.
The order
We were a group of five, and shared buffalo wings (between four) and popcorn shrimp (between 5). The former was servered with a blue cheese sauce and coleslaw, the latter with chipotle mayonnaise.
Most of us had the Stax cheeseburger with bacon, as the main – here’s how its billed: two flat griddled beef patties, melted American cheese, crispy onions, gherkins, French’s mustard & Heinz Tomato Ketchup, shredded iceburg and toasted brioche bun. It came with standard fries.
I had a lychee martini to drink.
The meat of it
Let’s have a look.
It’s not unattractive – decent stack, looks to have a decent char, generous portion of bacon… but slightly anemic fries. Let’s check the cross section.
Concerns starting to emerge now. The meat is completely cooked through (to a fault), but the meat doesn’t have a crisp sear, so none of the upside of a smash burger. The bacon is soft and chewy – I realise belatedly it’s beef bacon so is bland, and not at all crisp, and totally unnecessary. Crispy onions – a lovely touch – fall out everywhere, bringing a delightful crunch when you catch them in the right place.
First bite – cheese is brilliantly melted, but the bread, meat, bacon – all has a uniformly… soft… texture. Not terrible, but the lack of contrast is a downside. The slightly acrid spice of the French’s mustard comes through, overpowering the meat but without adding a great deal. There’s seasoning on the patty but its just a bit dry, even with the cheese and a bit of ketchup trying to help it hold up. It’s not unpleasant but… not remotely special. Which would have been fine, had I been eating it at a diner by the roadside by a highway in the US, for $10. But for £15+ – daylight robbery. Plus the fries – you can probably see – are woefully underdone, and mostly underseasoned.
To the sides…
So, the popcorn shrimp – lovely seasoning, definitely has hints of the south, good heat. But the batter slides off the prawn a little too easily and the chipotle mayo lacks heat and depth. More chipotle, bit more salt I think. And better prawns.
The buffalo wings completely lack crispness, but the meat is tender and juicy, the buffalo sauce is perfectly spiced, the slaw is creamy, crunchy and delicious, especially with the buffalo spillover. Damo polished off the blue cheese sauce with his vegan burger, non-vegan bun and real cheese. We had a pot of BBQ sauce as well which was a waste of a pound – sickeningly saccharine, not to my tastes at all, and no-one else enjoyed it either.
The lychee martini was lush – sweet and floral. Friends had an Old Fashioned (inexplicably including soda water) and a Mojito (the ‘worst mojito I’ve ever had’) says Damo. But Pob’s Margarita was apparently nice.
Monkey finger rating
Bun – 3/5 – unexceptional
Build – 4/5 – well constructed
Burger – 2.5/5 – underseasoned, overcooked, dry, and poorly contrasted by texture and flavour in the stack
Taste – 3/5 – tolerable but unexceptional
Sides – 3.5/5 – wings and popcorn shrimp were ok. 1.5/5 for the fries.
Value – 2/5 – £33 a head with two drinks for all but me.
Burger rating – 3/5 – if you need a burger and no other ones are available, you won’t hate yourself. Not exactly high praise but… it’s the best I can muster.
The deets
First floor of Kingly Court, just off Carnaby Street. You can’t miss it. And if you like monstrous novelty burgers, go and have the insanity, which James had, becuase what double cheeseburger isn’t improved by a fried chicken patty? Well done Jimjamjebobo; keep the change, you filthy animal.
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