My Burger Lab, Sea Park, Petaling Jaya, Malaysia

A tasty mess

Burger source 

MyBurgerLab is Malaysia’s answer to the world’s gourmet / elite fast food burger renaissance. Their inspiration is an eclectic mix of the fast food elite (Shake Shack, In & Out) and high street gourmet (GBK), but their mission is to make the world a happier place, one burger at a time – which is a purpose that is both honest and commercial in a way I can respect.

They say this about their priorities:

We don’t spend our money on décor or on advertisements. But we’ll splurge on food. Our charcoal buns are baked from scratch in our own bakery daily. It’s the only way to get that perfect combination of crisp crust and melt-in-your-mouth, fresh-from-the-oven taste. We grind our own beef patties daily and hand-pack them just so they retain their freshness and juiciness. In fact, our patties are still beautifully pink right before they hit the griddle.

I think they mean – after they come off the griddle. As I’m not sure what colour they’re meant to be when they hit it if not reddy-pink!

The order 

The elder kids had the Purist (Pure beefy, cheesy goodness. Angus Cheeseburger, Signature Ketchup, Grilled Onions, Pickled Cucumber) – of course, being kids, they opted out of onion, cheese and pickles. Sigh – am I failing as a parent? Zoe’s ‘Kiddy Beef’ featured beef, ketchup… and she opted out of the lettuce (on the side) and mayo.

Amanda went for the ‘Macik can’ (“Aunty can”, featuring Fried Chicken Thigh, Shredded Lettuce, Tangy Mayo, Spiced Lime on the side), and I had the ‘Lab burger’ – Angus Cheeseburger, Smoky Tomato Sauce, Shredded Lettuce, Pickles, Grilled Onions, Signature Burger Sauce. I was sold this as one of their most representative baseline burgers and I was excited.

After all, both Gemini (thx, AI) and Dad’s cousin Rohan had recommended this place. It was going to be good if both algorithms and Rohan’s impeccable judgement were aligned.

The meat of it 

It looks alright, you know. The charcoal bun is a mystery to me but it looks both soft and well made. The cheese crisp from where the overmelt has fried up on the griddle looks extremely inviting. The melt elsewhere is good. The fries look golden brown and creatively seasoned. There’s a tub of something that looks like firecracker sauce on the side. The bottomless soft drink is my trademark mixture of orange juice (well, Minute Maid) and lemonade (well, Sprite). There’s even a side of chicken nuggets that my eyes made me order.

In cross section?

The cross section is promising. The bun yields pleasingly to the floppy plastic knife; showing off a perfect even grain in the charcoal bun. The pink of the home-ground patty reveals itself, perfectly cooked – there’s an excellent sear to cut through to get to the tender middle. The superb melt on the cheese is complimented by the pickles, the grilled onions, and the copious burger sauce. Let’s gooooo…

First bite… does not disappoint. The bun is soft and gives way pleasingly; though the underside is sodden in burger juice and sauce and slips away. I’m largely uncomplaining, however, as my taste buds make contact… the beef has fabulous Maillard induced crunch; supplemented with the umami-crisp of the cheese and the sweet sour tang of the burger sauce and the pickle. The onions are sublimed, their caramelised texture melting into a flavour melange, which is both lovely – the flavours complement beautifully – and a shame, as they could have added a crunchy contrast. The sweetness of the sauce, the unguence of the cheese – add to a fairly excellent overall package.

However, to add to my – minor – critiques, a layer of lettuce would have protected the bottom half of the bun from collapse – a shame it vanished so completely under the onslaught of burger grease and burger sauce alike. So; better stack, better bun protection, better texture contrast – are my three minor notes.

On the sides… the fries are excellent; crisp on the outside and fluffy in the middle. Brilliant dunked in both ketchup and the firecracker sauce. The paprika and assorted herbs add more aesthetic than they do substance, but they put the kids off – so that’s worth being aware of.

The nugs? Largely inoffensive. Real chicken, well seasoned, and crisp, but the soft pliant sloppy chicken of McD’s nugs, not the textured pull of a tender, and nothing unusual or creative in its delivery.

On the others; Amanda’s burger was too soggy. The kids had a layer of mayo unnecessarily smeared on them, side on, which caused brief dismay. Zoe’s had both mayo and onions, one we requested not to have, the other not even part of the billing. And 2/3 kids were unimpressed by the generous seasoning on the fries. So slightly disappointing elsewhere.

The bottomless soft drinks are a nice touch, though.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5 
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4.5/5 – one of the best I’ve ever had in Malaysia 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 – fries – fab. Nugs – meh.   
Value – 5/5 – RM30 for a quality burger, fries and bottomless soft drink may seem punchy, unless you reflect that a Big Mac Meal goes for about RM20. So actually –  this isn’t just good value for a tourist, it’s a good deal by local standards too. IMHO and limited experience.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – I think this is my best Malaysian burger so far.

The deets 

We went to the one Sea Park, but there are other branches in Bangsar, Sunway etc. Check the website for more.

Chapman’s Bar, Pangkor Laut Resort, Malaysia

Very well balanced 

Burger source 

Pangkor Laut Resort is the only resort on the tiny island of Pangkor Laut – a small island somewhat to the South of Pangkor proper. It has about five restaraunts and this was from one of them – Chapman’s Bar, named for a British colonel who escaped the war in a submarine from Emerald Bay – the secluded spot where the bar is situated.

It’s visually stunning as a place to eat – but HOW, I hear you ask, was the burger? Surely the most important criteria for planning beach holidays and family escapes…

The order 

The burger – served with onion rings and medium cut fries – was served on a toasted, seeded bun with onion chutney, fresh tomato and lettuce, I think melted cheese, and a hand made burger patty. It was – surprisingly – offered to me medium or well done. Having not lived in Malaysia since 1993, and not having had great experiences of the burger scene here since the burger renaissance started in the 2000s, my expectations were for a slightly charred puck of beef regardless…

[Sidebar – I really hope that the burger renaissance achieves some form of prominence in the years to come, as a formal period in culinary history. I suspect not, but if it does – I will be proud if I make up part of the historical record with this humble offering]

The meat of it 

OK on the aesthetic – first impressions are good. The fries are golden, as advertised. The onion rings – only 2 were provided, the rest were gifted by my kids who don’t like onion – well, they were dry despite the golden batter, speaking of a good deep-frying process that doesn’t leave pooled grease in every crevice in the batter.

The burger itself is well stacked, salad underpinning the beef, itself topped with cheese and chutney – and there is a good char on both the inside of the buns and the meat. The salad itself looks bright and fresh, with condensation beading on the fridge fresh tomato (a think at equatorial climes). As to what happens in cross section…

 

I’m blown away. Whilst the meat is quite densely packed and quite finely ground, it is cooked, as promised, to a perfect medium. The bun, disappointingly, whilst beautifully charred on the inside, is cold to touch and just slightly the wrong ratio for what felt like a 5oz patty – too much bread to burger. This wasn’t disastrous but diluted the flavour with each bite somewhat.

Speaking of which… first bite… brilliant, crunchy char on the meat, which is well seasoned. The burger is juicy and tender; the onion chutney adding sweetness and a nice bit of textural contrast. The tomato is sweet too, not just watering things down as tomato slices can do but actually adding complementary favour – very unexpected. The cheese – is a non entity – a thin slice of processed cheese is lost, in every sense of the word – you can neither see, nor feel, nor taste it. The bread is fresh enough but just too bready. So whilst it is in many ways a very well balanced burger, it is the bread that throws it off somewhat. Still – really good by every objective measure. The kids – the two of them that also had the burger – also loved it (in their salad-free, well done incarnations – heathens, and something I will work through with them in the fullness of time).

As to the sides?

The fries were more or less as you’d hope – crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, lovely on their own or dunked in ketchup or mayo. Very slightly light on the salt, perhaps, but very much in judgement call territory.

The onion rings were a bit odd – the onions were neither crisp and fresh nor squidgy and over fried, nor any texture in between. I suspect they were slightly old onions which didn’t cope well with the process. They were OK though, other than the slightly odd texture of the onions – the batter was crisp and light – if again, slightly underseasoned. Decent dunked.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5  

Value – n/a. Everything here is expensive but also part of the inclusive ‘residents’ packages if you book semi-all inclusive so… it’s part of the experience  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would recommend to any visitors to the island. 

The deets 

Pangkor Laut is a 15 minute boat ride from Marina Island Jetty, a 3 hour drive from KL. Chapman’s Bar is a pleasant <10 minute golf buggy ride from the main resort, facing into the beautiful swimming beach that is Emerald Bay.

Liverpool Street Chop House & Tavern, Liverpool St, London

A luscious, well-made smash burger

Burger source

Searching for a new burger place to review after TEN YEARS of reviewing burgers is hard. And finding somewhere convenient to meet up with old friends brings a separate set of challenges. I haven’t yet managed to prompt AI into useful suggestions but some old fashioned Googling led me to discover the Chop House & Tavern – a category of institution that feels as British as it comes, and was it was an an absolute – albeit pricy – treat.

Their concept is centred on ethical, seasonal produce served in a comforting, olde-world environment – with a modern twist. Here’s how they put it:

We celebrate the best seasonal produce including signature chops and steaks from our ‘Ethical Butcher’ partner farms; the finest example of animal husbandry and regenerative farming practices in the UK.

The Liverpool Street Chop House and Tavern is a reimagining of Sir Terence Conran’s original Chop House’s and the spirit of the original Taverns of The City of London from 1690

It’s a great place to eat.

The order

The Chop Shop Burger – nearly eponymous – at £22.50, plus a side of their beef dripping fries was called for. Whilst their description is more about the vibe of the burger – I can tell you it’s a double smash burger, featuring home made pickles, fresh salad, and a mayo-rich burger sauce (possibly just their very fine house-made mayo). The beef dripping fries… are just that, at £6.75.

Here’s the the burger was billed – all the vibes:

Made from 100% British grass-fed beef, our burgers combine select cuts for a naturally rich flavour. Freshly prepared, succulent, tender and responsibly sourced – a burger you can genuinely feel good about.

The meat of it

That is a pretty burger. You can see the vegetables – some kind of heritage tomato, some kind of chopped gem lettuce, fresh pickles, perfectly melted cheese on the lacy smash patty, enclosed in this rather impressive branded glossy bun.

In cross section…

More is revealed – you can see the tidy stacking – tomato, lettuce protecting the bun from the juicy patties. Double stacked patties with cheese on each layer. Pickles and mayo atop. A lovely, airy grain to the sturdy bun – which holds up in spite of the ludicrously juicy burgers contained within.

First bite… there’s a good bite on the well-charred patties, which seem well seasoned. The dry-aged funk of whatever choice beef cuts are in there is a thrill, the smell and taste combining to be a gestalt that is impressively dynamic. The savoury moisture from the mayo, the salty unguence from the cheese – binds this all together beautifully. Second bite earns me fresh salad, and bright, crisp, sweet pickles. It continues to be delicious.

Somewhere mid burger I sense that the sear wasn’t even, and nor was the seasoning – the meat on its own  is a little underwhelming – but the coarse grain of the patty, and the underlying quality of the meat, with the balance of flavours and textures across the burgers more than make up for these minor notes. It’s a treat.

As to the chips… £6.75 is extortionate for the portion – whilst it’s not an ungenerous helping, I’m not sure chips should ever cost nearly £7. BUT… they taste of steak, cooked as they are in beef dripping, and they seem lightly but evenly seasoned (a friend complained that they were plainer at the top and saltier at the bottom, but maybe one of us got lucky?). To my mind… they were near perfect – at least double fried, I would imagine, if not triple cooked – beefy, crisp on the outside and fluffy on the inside – a paradigm of British chips. Skin on adds taste and texture, as does whatever potato varietal they used, which was rich and flavourful. Dunked in some of the brilliant house mayo and ketchup – and this was a top quality side, even at nearly £7.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5 – flawless, in spite of the ostentation of the brand
Build – 5/5 – precise and quality controlled
Burger – 4.5/5 – minor deduction for seasoning and sear
Taste –  5/5 – it really was close to flawless
Sides – 4,5/5 – I can’t give 5/5 for a £7 side dish of chips, even if they were nearly perfect 
Value – 4/5 – £30 for burger and side is a lot; add in a drink and the 13.5% suggested service charge and you’re not walking away with change from £40 for one. It was hefty, and whilst I know things cost more than they did – I can’t score this one higher than a four in spite of its brilliant taste.

Burger rating – 5/5 – the overall experience is still a five. Service was fab, the setting was comfortable and surprisingly unpretentious, the food was really delicious, and I’m going to let that trump the slightly sore wallet I’m going to have in the morning.

The deets

It’s a minute from Liverpool Street station – a very good place to catch up with very good friends, over some very good – if pricey – food. Find more here.

Sam’s Riverside Restaraunt, Riverside Studios, Hammersmith

Beautifully crafted, slippery gourmet burger

Burger source

I was at the opening night of my brother’s new show, the excellent Hitchhiker’s Live at Riverside Studios in Hammersmith, and in need of sustenance. I’d been promised that Sam’s cafe would provide an excellent burger by my brother – a promise reaffirmed by the serving staff – and so I was set on my path.

Sam’s is a newish restaurant, set up just pre-Covid and specialising in seasonal British produce, so there’s a diverse, thoughtful menu featuring a wide range of creative and delicious sounding dishes. Their spiel:

The Modern British menus focus on the very best seasonal produce from all around the UK. The kitchen is passionate about working with our small artisan suppliers, from meat, fish and seafood to fruit and vegetables. The wines have also all been handpicked by Sam, and many are from wineries that Sam has visited and struck up personal friendships.

The order

My friend Matt had the halibut (naturally), but the eponymous Sam’s cheeseburger it was for me, served with chips. There’s no fanfare on the menu; no description of dry-aged meat, farm-to-table traditions, grass fed whole-wheat brioche or any such chicanery. It’s just Sam’s cheeseburger and I was there for it – both the burger, and its simplicity.

I was asked if I was OK if it was served medium. WAS I? I love places that grind their own meat and offer this. I was duly excited.

The meat of it

This is a pretty burger. Glossy bun, lovely stack – fresh vegetables, a whole layer of pickles, a perfect melt on the cheese, and elegantly simple plating. There’s little else to remark on at this stage in the proceedings, until the cross section kicks in.

And what a cross section! The bun is perfectly sturdy and airy, bringing a light, soft, but fluffy structure to the burger. The salad is as fresh as it seemed; the burger is as pink as was promised, with a good char, and a perfect melt on the cheese. You can see the meat is coarse ground and loosely packed, and there’s a well balanced layer of some kind of burger source providing lubrication and the promise of additional flavour.

So, the first bite… And in this case, you can judge a book by its cover. The patty is well seasoned, and melts in your mouth with an understated dry-aged funk. The cheese provides an unguent bind that adds salt and flavour – it is a very generous amount of cheese so the cheddar brings more than texture. The salad is bright, the tomatoes adding sweetness and moisture – though perhaps these could have done with a bit of seasoning. The pickles add mild but welcome sweet-and-sour notes. And the burger sauce adds bind but is somewhat non-descript – not a criticism, the burger doesn’t want for more flavour. The combination is very near perfect.

My very small notes; the burger is very… soft. The char on the hefty – 6-7oz – patty doesn’t add crunch, and the vegetables aren’t sufficiently robust to give structure to the bite. Fresh or crispy onions, bacon, or even a harder sear on the patty might have helped here. The stack doesn’t quite pass the structural integrity test – the problem with using whole pieces of lettuce (vs shredded) at the base is always that it makes the burger want to slide off the rink and onto the plate. But… these are minor. People that aren’t as fussed about textural contrast in a burger as I am would probably not notice, and if I hadn’t cross-sectioned the burger perhaps the slipperiness wouldn’t have mattered. It’s really very good.

The fries were nigh on perfect. Crispy on the outside, squidgy in the middle, they were made from high quality potatoes, generously seasoned, and cooked to perfection. They were perhaps marginally heavy with the salt shaker but that’s always an individual judgement, so your mileage may vary. Dunked in the ketchup and/or mayo that was provided, these were a delicious and generous portion and perfect to the very last chip.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5
Build – 4.5/5
Burger – 4.5/5
Taste –  4.5/5
Sides – 5/5 – near faultless fries 
Value – 5/5 – £19 for burger and fries seems to be the going rate and the quality was excellent, so I’m scoring full points.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – I suspect for many this will be a perfect 5.

The deets

Sat in the rear of Riverside Studios, this place is a sub ten minute stroll from Hammersmith Station, and as you’ll be going to see Hitchhiker’s Live anyway… you should go, yes?

Cardinal Bar & Kitchen, Aldgate, London

Imbalanced but not irredeemable

Burger source 

A happy restaurant non-booking accident led us to a meal at this East London eatery, ostensibly taking cues from Brick Lane but atmospherically holding all the vibes of a modern gastro-hotel restaurant – which I think is broadly what it is. Downstairs from the amazingly trendy Jin Bo Law cocktail bar (though independent, I think), the less queue-inducing restaurant features a diverse contemporary menu carrying gastrointestinal pub vibes – fish and chips, steak and chips and the burger – alongside Asian inspired fusion dishes, like tandoori lamb chops (served with crushed potatoes and watercress), and salmon mie [sic] goreng. Naturally the burger drew my attention!

The order 

The eponymous Cardinal burger features a dry aged beef patty, kimchi mayo, smoked apple wood cheddar, caramelised onions, lettuce, tomato, gherkins, fries. That was all for tonight; let’s see how they did.

The meat of it 

There’s no question this is a pretty burger; a perfect, shiny, brioche roll, a wonderful melt on the cheese, a lovely char on the patty, bright, fresh looking veggies and a sensible amount of kimchi mayo – enough for flavour and texture, not so much that it splurges out when you take a bite.

In cross section, you see the lovely airy grain of the bun, the elegant stacking (veg below, correct, even-ish bacon coverage, yes, fresh veg in decent proportion, yay, and controllable amounts of mayo. But look at the meat – whilst coarse ground, it is almost grey, and the burger shattered on slicing. This says, nay, shouts – as my teenage and tweenage daughters might say – ‘I’m cooked, bro.’ And not in a good way.

First bite confirms – whilst there’s excellent seasoning and a tasty char on the exterior, the patty is dry and tough. There’s a gamey flavour that speaks to quality, dry-aged (?) beef, but its texture disappoints. The kimchi mayo adds some sourness but no spice whatsoever; I’m not schooled enough in kimchi to know if that’s right or not, but regardless – the flavour balance is off. The sour from the kimchi overwhelms any sweetness left in the overcooked meat and renders the pickle completely invisible, the brioche’s soft sweetness doesn’t quite recover the balance. The bacon is excellent, as is the cheese, but the overall balance means this is just a little bit meh.

On the fries… they’re pale, slightly undercooked and slightly under-seasoned. So whilst they are again made from high quality potatoes, the overall experience underwhelms, with the pots of ketchup and mayo unable to compensate for the bite of undercooked fry.

The meal was £19 plus £2.50 for the extra bacon. This seems to increasingly be standard fare these days, but I would have expected better for the ££.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5 – this was the one faultless element  
Build – 3/5 – architecturally strong, flavour profile – not so much 
Burger – 3/5 – well seasoned, quality meat abused on the griddle.
Taste –  3/5  – possibly being generous here.
Sides – 2/5 – you had one job, fries  
Value – 2.5/5 – I can’t celebrate £22 on something I didn’t really enjoy  

Burger rating – 2.5/5 – could do better. Spicy kimchi, sweetness from somewhere, and a better cooked patty – would have made this really interesting. 

The deets 

Right by Aldgate Tube, dodge past the queue for Jin Bo Law, walk past the lifts and head straight to the back. You can’t miss it. And failing that, the website’s here

Beast & Field, Box Park, Shoreditch

A burger of contrasts

Burger source 

Honestly? I was trying to meet a friend at Dumbo Shoreditch after all the TikTok hype, but I didn’t realise that it was full-on, take-out only, so we retreated to the old faithful that is Box Park, and was delighted to find that Beast & Field had arrived since I last stopped in… Literal fresh meat.

Their mission, says their website, is simple. Make ethical eating easy and fun. In particular – they focus on getting grass-fed beef from farms they trust, cooking it well and pricing it sensibly. Did they succeed? SPOILERS.

The order 

They’ve only got one burger; a steak patty, with onion jam, crispy shallots, tomato, leaves, mayo and their own handmade organic burger bun. I added bacon (it’s an option!) and had a side of their chips, which come with smoked paprika and Himalayan salt, no less.

The meat of it

 

What’s wrong with this picture? Well clearly the bun is burnt; that’s not a deliberate look for it. But otherwise – strong melt on the cheese, good char on the meat, an elegant stack. The fake Lilt looks interesting, and the fries…. Well I’ll come back to that.

Cross section…

This started to restore confidence. Bright, fresh vegetables protect the lower bun. The meat is well proportioned and coarse ground, though perhaps a little well done for a thick patty. The onion jam promises some sweetness, the crispy shallots falling out the side promise some crunch, and the bacon is rended crisp but not glass-like in its texture. The bun has a good grain despite its overly browned state. In short; it’s looking good on the whole.

First bite… well, it’s definitely burned. The char on the bun adds bitterness and the bun is slightly dryer than intended. The meat is beautifully seasoned and has a lovely bite as you get through the well cooked exterior… but it slightly dryer than intended again from an over generous turn on the griddle. The bacon gives crunch, the shallots give crunch, the cheese adds further to unguent, umami goodness. There’s brightness from the veg and sweetness from the onion jam…. I find myself almost forgiving the burnt bun and the overdone meat as this burger strikes that perfect balance of sweet and savoury; of crunchy and comforting. If your home was made of 100% grass fed beef, this burger would taste of home – it is comforting and happy making, even with its flaws.

The sides?

Two things to speak of here; the chips first. They are glorious; tossed in a delightfully savoury set of seasonings (Himalayalicious), they are chip-shop cut – chunky – but double or triple fried so as to be brilliantly crispy and crunchy. The thickness means many of them maintain that pillowy fluffiness some people are so keen on in a chip; for me it was that on occasion, with a heavier dose of crunchy goodness that made these pretty much the paradigm of a chip. The sauce was a chimmichurri mayo; smooth, slightly sour, savoury, fresh and delicious. If only I hadn’t dropped half of it when I collected my order…

The fake lilt drink? Also delicious, though that was from Boxpark’s bar, so… can’t really count it.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  2.5/5 – major deductions for it being burnt.   
Build – 5/5 – can’t fault the construction
Burger – 4/5 – elsewhere this would have scored worse due to being overdone. But in gestalt, the quality of everything was aces 
Taste –  4/5  – better than expected; awesome flavour/culture contrast
Sides – 5/5 – cannot fault chips or dips
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and side, minus service (because Box Park, there is none) felt a lot given it was burnt. But it was a well constructed burger, the portion was generous, and inflation is a beast too.

Burger rating – 4/5 – the overall experience was joyous despite its constraints.

The deets 

There’s a few of these around; Boxpark, Mayfair, Ladbroke Grove & Shoreditch. Find your local; it’s worth a try. And if it’s burnt, sent it back and get them to do it right – it’s worth the fuss.

The Plimsoll, Finsbury Park, London N4

Possibly perfect cheeseburger

Burger source

The Plimsoll is on so many ‘best burger’ reviews it’s almost obscene that it’s taken me nearly a decade of my burger gastronomic adventure to get out there. But thanks to an invite from local resident and corporate affairs industry watcher, Helen Dunne, I had a good reason to discover quite how accessible Finsbury Park is from Central London and give the gastro-pubbed refurb of the old, Auld (it used to be the Auld Triangle, so that was a pun), Irish pub and its famous ‘Dexter’ cheeseburger. Which I’m told is named for the Irish cow breed used for its meat, not the storied serial killer…

The pub is apparently under the management of chefs Jamie Allan and Ed McIlroy, who previously ran a pop up called the Four Legs @ the Compton Arms elsewhere in North London. But I couldn’t find a website, so blame me for citing a three year old Guardian article if I have this wrong… 

The order

If you want chips, this is the wrong place to be. I had the Dexter cheeseburger (beef, cheese, burger sauce, pickles, fresh onion, crispy onion, brioche – £14), and we shared a pile of ‘greens’ (it’s a Caesar salad of sorts, at £11) and ‘fried potatoes with aioli.’ (£7).

The meat of it

OMG. You can immediately see the butteriness of the bun; the double onion combo is spilling out the sides. The home made pickles speak of sweet and sour pleasure; the cheese is melted perfectly on a beautifully charred patty… and the glisten on the brioche. Wow. If looks could cause type two diabetes…

In cross section you can see the build is pretty much perfect. The plate remains clean despite the healthy amount of burger sauce that’s within, the bun is super soft but providing structure, the meat is coarse ground and the assembly precise. There’s a lot to play for.

First bite… soft bread, robust, perfectly seasoned bite to the patty and a melty, meaty centre. The sweet burger sauce and unguent, umami-rich cheese contrast beautifully, and the double onion combo gives you crisp and crunch in one. The pickle adds fresh, bright sweetness with a sour pickle edge and tastes of the summer day on which it was picked. The mouthfeel is fantastic, the flavour sublime.

It’s just a glorious combination. It feels and looks small but this thing is dense and packed with flavour. The first bite loads my hands with grease and burger sauce and I don’t even care; I switch over to cutlery to preserve my dignity and my shirt, and to draw out the luscious sensory experience. Every bite of this is like injecting pleasure into my taste buds; I don’t understand the appeal of class A drugs, but this… This I can see myself getting withdrawal symptoms from. It’s glorious.

On the sides…

I love that the salad was billed as “leaves with vinaigrette”; this felt like a loaded Caesar salad, dense with Parmesan and a slick sweet and savoury dressing – which is what you’d expect for the money. I wouldn’t exactly call it bright and fresh – this is a rich, rich salad – but it was a lovely contrast to the burger.

The potatoes – are perfectly tender and simultaneously crisp all over. I didn’t expect to love them – I LOVE chips – but they are beguiling, and provide a heft that ensures you walk away full – we didn’t finish one portion between the two of us.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5 – soft, buttery pleasure
Build – 5/5 – clinically precise, beautifully architected
Burger – 5/5 – inarguably extraordinary
Taste –  5/5 – flawless victory
Sides – 4/5 – these were great but felt a bit pricey 
Value – 5/5 – it wasn’t cheap but if this is what I get, this is what I pay for.

Burger rating – 5/5 – this deserves its billing as one of the top burgers in London. Absolutely extraordinary.

The deets

It’s about 4 minutes walk from Finsbury Park tube. Take the Station Way exit. Go tomorrow; Finsbury Park is < 10 minutes from Kings X on the Victoria Line so there’s really no excuse for anyone who’s based in London.

Street Burger Bistro, Prague, Czech Republic

Hefty, tasty, soggy Czech burger

Burger source

When in London, I struggle to find a burger place I haven’t reviewed. On this, my first visit to the Czech Republic, needless to say I didn’t have the same issue. In fact, by crazy random happenstance, our hotel was next to a burger restaurant called simply ‘Fat f**k smashburger’ – where we had intended to have supper. Unfortunately – and perhaps unsurprisingly given both its reputation and its name – it was completely booked out. So we went in search of another highly reviewed burger, not too far from our hotel – and found it, on the edge of the Old Town, in the Street Burger Bistro.

The order

My kids, predictably, proceeded to order the well constructed burgers and remove stuff from them. I did not; ordering the cheeseburger (burger, bacon, cheddar, red onion, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise) as it was designed to be. We had fries and some onion rings on the side (ok; we had fries, I had the onion rings) and an alcohol free Czech beer to drink.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

Ok, it’s not evenly stacked but it is pretty – a good melt on the cheese, a hefty piece of well cooked back bacon, bright fresh lettuce, a golden seeded bun, and a decent amount of mayo. Let’s look in cross section…

The lower bun is already collapsing under the heft of the burger, and the (two) tomato slices are causing the patty to slide. There’s perhaps a smidge too much mayo. The burger… delighted as I was to have it pink, there’s something about the severe stripes of brown and pink that concerns me.

And it reveals itself in bite one; the sear is so heavy that there’s quite a rubbery first mouthfeel before you get to the soft, medium centre. The burger is otherwise juicy and delightfully seasoned; the companion cheese and bacon adds further umami… which is not quite balanced with the salad; the tomato isn’t ripe or seasoned, I think, causing it to be a bland rather than a sweet counterpoint. The mayo adds more moisture and depth and the bottom bun all but collapses as you eat it, though the bun otherwise lends a pleasing starchy blandness as a counterpoint to the taste fest that is the rest of the burger. The whole is good – it’s a tasty patty, and the design that’s gone into shaping this is excellent. But the execution wasn’t quite there tonight, and what could have been a 5/5 is shooting just a smidge under tonight.

On the sides and the drink:

The fries were lovely. Perfectly, albeit lightly seasoned (too many places in the UK overdo the salt), they have a crisp exterior, a fluffy interior and are consistent the whole way through. As good on their own as they are dunked in a very aesthetic little tub of ketchup they brought us for them on request.

The onion rings… are surprising. They are the minced onion kind; not whole slices of fresh onion, and breaded rather than battered. To me this normally spells ‘frozen’ and therefore immediately consigns them to the mediocre pile. However these were hot, crisp and well seasoned, and the onion retained flavour and sweetness. A joyous surprise; as I’m sure is the experience of learning I put this much thought into the experience of eating onion rings.

Izzy had a hot dog, removing all the toppings that were designed for it but ketchup, and I had a taste at the end when she reached her limit… and it was excellent. Well spiced, rich with paprika, salt, pepper and other flavourings I couldn’t identify – and with actual texture – none of that soggy synthetic flavour you get with frankfurters.

The beer was a slightly dark lager, crisp and clear with a bitter edge. I prefer a bit more of a pilsener, so it wasn’t quite what I imagined when I ordered but it was good for what it was.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5 – good texture and flavour but didn’t hold up to the burger
Build – 3/5 – uneven stack, unripe tomatoes
Burger – 4/5 – over hard sear makes an otherwise excellent burger slightly rubbery
Taste –  4/5 – really good but clearly not as good as it could have been
Sides – 4.5/5 – small knock for minced onion rings 
Value – 4/5 – a meal for five with two beers came to about £80 including service – which seemed quite a lot by our limited experience of Prague, and we were hit by the tax of a restaurant that doesn’t have a children’s menu. Still inexpensive relative to London, but our priciest meal in the Czech Republic to date

Burger rating – 4/5 – good, bordering on excellent.

The deets

It’s a short skip from the Charles Bridge, opposite the river from the bulk of the old town. There’s a lovely walk in to it from Malostranske tram stop, going past some lovely riverside view and the most delightful gingerbread shop you’ve ever seen. Highly recommend all of it.

Honest Burgers: reprise, guest review

My nephew Milo was very keen to contribute a guest review, and I’m so honoured to have provided an inspiration (of sorts) to the lad. Here it is, largely unedited. He has talent!

**

Beautifully crafted patties with caramelized onions in the afternoon sun

I’m honoured to be a guest writer on Burger Source

My first impression of Honest Burgers was: “Now this, this really is a burger place.” As I strolled through the door, the scent of freshly toasted buns wafted through the door. The menu was relatively simple. Chicken options, Beef options, and vegan options (if you like that kind of stuff). 

Once the burger arrived I had to look at the cross section. The exquisitely layered patty, cheese bubbling down the fresh bacon, and to top off this vision of perfection, caramelized onions steaming. Here it is.

And the burger before I sliced it in two.

 
Bun – 4/5 – slightly too soft for me, some of the juices leaked through
Build – 5/5 – can’t complain about anything
Burger – 4/5 – couldn’t taste the cheese as there were too many onions
Taste – 4/5 – a bit too sweet for my liking (Though undoubtedly from the caramelized onions)
Sides – 5/5 – both the onion rings and the rosemary fries were fantastic 

**

I think we can all agree this was a stunning first review! With any luck, Milo will be back for more in the future.

Queens Head, Bradfield Southend, Berkshire

Messy, sumptuous smash-beast

Burger source 

The Queen’s Head is a rural pub in the Berkshire countryside; not far from Reading and the M4 but sufficiently far away from it all that it feels like the middle of nowhere. The pub was described to me as ‘excessively dog friendly’ and, as Harley was joining us this evening, that was really the key criterion we were weighing up to eat here. As it happens, under new management since the Summer, the pub is clearly making an effort to build a reputation around its cuisine, billing itself as a pub/brasserie, and shifting between different seasonal menus throughout the year. The burgers, though, I think are staples.

The order 

I got greedy and ordered the XL Smashburger – three thinnish patties, smashed and crisped on a hot grill, “cloaked” with melted cheese and caramelised onions and burger sauce.

The meat of it 

The presentation is… slightly underwhelming, if I’m being critical. The burger is sat in a pool of cheese sauce and burger sauce, though the bun looks decent. The fries are well fried and seasoned, but the portion is modest. A little side salad would have brightened the plating somewhat, and a bit more restraint on the toppings might have made it more – as the kids like to say – aesthetic.

The side profile shows the mess in all its glory. I think the bright yellow is an American cheese, the light yellow a cheddar, and the burger sauce and caramelised onions are mixed up all in there.

Let’s look in cross section, then get into it.

The patties are well formed and the stack is well made, for all that the greed of the third burger meant the bun really didn’t hold up to it and the surplus of sauce and cheese made this unhandleable – this is a burger that had to be eaten with cutlery. The char of the smash is very evident and adds a nice aroma to the burger. I’m excited.

First bite (and all subsequent bites) are cutlery assisted. The patties are well seasoned and tasty, if made up of what feels like a fairly conventional meat blend, and cooked in a conventional way. I sensed no dry aged meat, nor a mustard fry on the patty at work here. The burger sauce is sweet and savoury, but balances the salt-fest of the meat well, and the onions merge very well with the charred beef. The bun acts as a necessary stodgy contrast to the savoury mountain within, but doesn’t hold up terribly well against the onslaught of meat, grease and cheese. The combination of flavours works well – the burger is moist, the sweet and salty notes are well balanced, there’s a light crunch and char to the patty which adds a little textural contrast… it works well as a package.

The fries are topped with salt and something that looks like pepper but brings no noticeable flavour. They are perfectly crisp and well seasoned and perfect for dunking in mayo and ketchup. Whilst the core fries are – I suspect – frozen from a wholesaler – there’s little to complain about.

I did have a pudding (sorry, no picture) – a modest portion of sticky toffee pudding, served with ice cream. This was delicious, though if I’m being brutal the ice cream could have been lighter and the caramel sauce more generous. But excellent flavour combination, well made sauce, chewy dates in and amongst the light fluffy sponge of the pudding, with a swirl of light, sweet caramel sauce – yum.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5 – nice but not up to the challenge  
Build – 4/5 – sauce and cheese overdone 
Burger – 4.5/5 – very little to complain about with the patties 
Taste –  4.5/5 – for all that it was messy to eat, it tasted delicious 
Sides – 4/5 – more fries, more caramel sauce and it would have been faultless  
Value – 4/5 – £24 for burger and pudding and service, ish.  And there are more modest double patty burgers which are a few quid cheaper.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – despite the mess and the compromises on the build, it really is delicious and I would have it again… but ask them to go easy on the sauce/cheese a bit next time! 

The deets 

I’m afraid the pub’s ‘website’ is a Facebook page – hopefully you can still find all the details here