Cardinal Bar & Kitchen, Aldgate, London

Imbalanced but not irredeemable

Burger source 

A happy restaurant non-booking accident led us to a meal at this East London eatery, ostensibly taking cues from Brick Lane but atmospherically holding all the vibes of a modern gastro-hotel restaurant – which I think is broadly what it is. Downstairs from the amazingly trendy Jin Bo Law cocktail bar (though independent, I think), the less queue-inducing restaurant features a diverse contemporary menu carrying gastrointestinal pub vibes – fish and chips, steak and chips and the burger – alongside Asian inspired fusion dishes, like tandoori lamb chops (served with crushed potatoes and watercress), and salmon mie [sic] goreng. Naturally the burger drew my attention!

The order 

The eponymous Cardinal burger features a dry aged beef patty, kimchi mayo, smoked apple wood cheddar, caramelised onions, lettuce, tomato, gherkins, fries. That was all for tonight; let’s see how they did.

The meat of it 

There’s no question this is a pretty burger; a perfect, shiny, brioche roll, a wonderful melt on the cheese, a lovely char on the patty, bright, fresh looking veggies and a sensible amount of kimchi mayo – enough for flavour and texture, not so much that it splurges out when you take a bite.

In cross section, you see the lovely airy grain of the bun, the elegant stacking (veg below, correct, even-ish bacon coverage, yes, fresh veg in decent proportion, yay, and controllable amounts of mayo. But look at the meat – whilst coarse ground, it is almost grey, and the burger shattered on slicing. This says, nay, shouts – as my teenage and tweenage daughters might say – ‘I’m cooked, bro.’ And not in a good way.

First bite confirms – whilst there’s excellent seasoning and a tasty char on the exterior, the patty is dry and tough. There’s a gamey flavour that speaks to quality, dry-aged (?) beef, but its texture disappoints. The kimchi mayo adds some sourness but no spice whatsoever; I’m not schooled enough in kimchi to know if that’s right or not, but regardless – the flavour balance is off. The sour from the kimchi overwhelms any sweetness left in the overcooked meat and renders the pickle completely invisible, the brioche’s soft sweetness doesn’t quite recover the balance. The bacon is excellent, as is the cheese, but the overall balance means this is just a little bit meh.

On the fries… they’re pale, slightly undercooked and slightly under-seasoned. So whilst they are again made from high quality potatoes, the overall experience underwhelms, with the pots of ketchup and mayo unable to compensate for the bite of undercooked fry.

The meal was £19 plus £2.50 for the extra bacon. This seems to increasingly be standard fare these days, but I would have expected better for the ££.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5 – this was the one faultless element  
Build – 3/5 – architecturally strong, flavour profile – not so much 
Burger – 3/5 – well seasoned, quality meat abused on the griddle.
Taste –  3/5  – possibly being generous here.
Sides – 2/5 – you had one job, fries  
Value – 2.5/5 – I can’t celebrate £22 on something I didn’t really enjoy  

Burger rating – 2.5/5 – could do better. Spicy kimchi, sweetness from somewhere, and a better cooked patty – would have made this really interesting. 

The deets 

Right by Aldgate Tube, dodge past the queue for Jin Bo Law, walk past the lifts and head straight to the back. You can’t miss it. And failing that, the website’s here

The Plimsoll, Finsbury Park, London N4

Possibly perfect cheeseburger

Burger source

The Plimsoll is on so many ‘best burger’ reviews it’s almost obscene that it’s taken me nearly a decade of my burger gastronomic adventure to get out there. But thanks to an invite from local resident and corporate affairs industry watcher, Helen Dunne, I had a good reason to discover quite how accessible Finsbury Park is from Central London and give the gastro-pubbed refurb of the old, Auld (it used to be the Auld Triangle, so that was a pun), Irish pub and its famous ‘Dexter’ cheeseburger. Which I’m told is named for the Irish cow breed used for its meat, not the storied serial killer…

The pub is apparently under the management of chefs Jamie Allan and Ed McIlroy, who previously ran a pop up called the Four Legs @ the Compton Arms elsewhere in North London. But I couldn’t find a website, so blame me for citing a three year old Guardian article if I have this wrong… 

The order

If you want chips, this is the wrong place to be. I had the Dexter cheeseburger (beef, cheese, burger sauce, pickles, fresh onion, crispy onion, brioche – £14), and we shared a pile of ‘greens’ (it’s a Caesar salad of sorts, at £11) and ‘fried potatoes with aioli.’ (£7).

The meat of it

OMG. You can immediately see the butteriness of the bun; the double onion combo is spilling out the sides. The home made pickles speak of sweet and sour pleasure; the cheese is melted perfectly on a beautifully charred patty… and the glisten on the brioche. Wow. If looks could cause type two diabetes…

In cross section you can see the build is pretty much perfect. The plate remains clean despite the healthy amount of burger sauce that’s within, the bun is super soft but providing structure, the meat is coarse ground and the assembly precise. There’s a lot to play for.

First bite… soft bread, robust, perfectly seasoned bite to the patty and a melty, meaty centre. The sweet burger sauce and unguent, umami-rich cheese contrast beautifully, and the double onion combo gives you crisp and crunch in one. The pickle adds fresh, bright sweetness with a sour pickle edge and tastes of the summer day on which it was picked. The mouthfeel is fantastic, the flavour sublime.

It’s just a glorious combination. It feels and looks small but this thing is dense and packed with flavour. The first bite loads my hands with grease and burger sauce and I don’t even care; I switch over to cutlery to preserve my dignity and my shirt, and to draw out the luscious sensory experience. Every bite of this is like injecting pleasure into my taste buds; I don’t understand the appeal of class A drugs, but this… This I can see myself getting withdrawal symptoms from. It’s glorious.

On the sides…

I love that the salad was billed as “leaves with vinaigrette”; this felt like a loaded Caesar salad, dense with Parmesan and a slick sweet and savoury dressing – which is what you’d expect for the money. I wouldn’t exactly call it bright and fresh – this is a rich, rich salad – but it was a lovely contrast to the burger.

The potatoes – are perfectly tender and simultaneously crisp all over. I didn’t expect to love them – I LOVE chips – but they are beguiling, and provide a heft that ensures you walk away full – we didn’t finish one portion between the two of us.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5 – soft, buttery pleasure
Build – 5/5 – clinically precise, beautifully architected
Burger – 5/5 – inarguably extraordinary
Taste –  5/5 – flawless victory
Sides – 4/5 – these were great but felt a bit pricey 
Value – 5/5 – it wasn’t cheap but if this is what I get, this is what I pay for.

Burger rating – 5/5 – this deserves its billing as one of the top burgers in London. Absolutely extraordinary.

The deets

It’s about 4 minutes walk from Finsbury Park tube. Take the Station Way exit. Go tomorrow; Finsbury Park is < 10 minutes from Kings X on the Victoria Line so there’s really no excuse for anyone who’s based in London.

Bleeding Heart Tavern, Hatton Garden, Farringdon

Slightly overcooked but tasty, chunky burger

Burger source

The Tavern Wine Bar & Grill is a city staple and offers a decent gastropub-style selection of food, which I think you might classify as ‘modern European.’ The restaurant had a fab atmosphere and brilliant service and was a lovely place to celebrate a few colleagues moving on to new things, and a great chance to catch up with our former chief crochet officer, Josie.

Naturally I was tempted by their take on the burger.

The order

The Tavern’s 6 oz Scotch beef burger was served on a toasted sourdough bun, with red onion marmalade, Gruyère cheese, dill gherkin & tomato. I had a side of “Truffled” fries (I did not realise we were doing truffle as a verb, but I’m unexpectedly here for it). Because we were doing starters, I went for a Morteau sausage, served with puy lentils and a mustard sauce, which I’ll handle with the ‘sides’ to keep consistency with my review format and avoid throwing my sense of order to the wolves.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

It’s good plating – tidy, well stacked. The bun, toasted on both sides is… unexpected, and you can see a good melt to the cheese. The fries look crisp and the coating of shaved Parmesan – well, you can’t go wrong with fresh Parmesan, though it can be too much. BUT WAS IT? We’ll get there, be patient.

First, an accidental close up of the burger and the obligatory cross section shot:

The close up shows the beautiful melt on the Gruyère. The cross section shows the elegant stack, a layer of unadvertised lettuce along the base alongside the promised tomato, peeking slightly unobtrusively out from amongst it, the LONG, long dill pickles (more on this shortly) and the meat… which is decidedly not medium, as I was promised, but very close to well done. It is also surprisingly densely packed. Will it suffer for it?

First bite… and it’s good. The meat is juicy despite being overdone, and there’s char coming through from both the bun and the crust of the patty. It’s subtle and pleasant; no dry aged funk, just straightforward, high quality beef with an (un)healthy fat/lean ratio. The patty is well seasoned, the Gruyère adds bind without much flavour, but the burger sauce/mayo/whatever’s in with the salad adds a pleasant salty gooey-ness that helps bind it all together. The pickle is pleasant but indistinct and rather too large – you have to be careful to not have it sliding out in its large, long slices, and I’m silently wishing they’d just cut it into discs like Maccers does.

The ‘marmalade’ – relish by any other name – provides the sweet balance to the umami mouth punch of the rest of the burger, giving good balance to it. The sourdough provides structure and stability and pleasant starchiness. It’s a good combo, that would have been improved with a bit more crunch from somewhere (bacon? Crispy onions?) for that textural contrast I value so much, and just slightly less time on the grill for a pinker finish. And if I’m being brutal, a looser pack on the patty to make it just a tad less robust. The whole was definitely greater than the sum of its parts, and the heft of the 6oz patty means this will leave you pleasantly full.

As to the fries and the sausage? Well you can see the fries above, but let’s get to the sausage ‘Morteau’:

I did ask what Morteau was, and it was described as a ‘smoked sausage’. If you’re thinking that looks like slices of a Matheson’s sausage, you’d be spot on. But it’s denser and richer, and the puy lentil and mustard sauce are done perfectly, providing a surprisingly delicate counterpoint to the salty, garlicky, smoky sausage. It’s lovely.

The fries… were a little disappointing. Even without the caveat that I don’t love truffle (but I prefer fries to the chunky chips on offer elsewhere on the menu). Disappointing because they weren’t fully cooked (some of the fries were decidedly undercooked), and because the combination of a healthy amount of seasoning, Parmesan and truffle flavour led to a confusing profile. It was simultaneously just a bit much… and not enough.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5 – good but unexceptional
Build – 4/5 – curse you, pickle slices!
Burger – 4/5 – more pink, less pack
Taste –  4/5 – solid
Sides – 4/5 – deduction for fries redeemed by quality sausage 
Value – 4/5 – £22 for burger and fries, £30 with sausage, plus service plus drinks – feels sensible if unexceptional value for a nice burger in a nice restaurant.

Burger rating – 4/5 – I would go back here, though I’d like to try some of the other excellent looking food next time.

The deets

Just a few minutes from Farringdon station, make sure you know whether you’re going to the Bistro or the restaurant – we did the latter. Find out more here.

Saucy B*stards at the Newman Arms, Fitzrovia, London

Delightfully messy double smashburger

Burger source

You might call it mindlessly doomscrolling top-10-burger lists, I call it RESEARCH and I do it in the name of science and the thousand or so people a month who seem to enjoy these burger reviews. You’re all very, very welcome.

Anyway, 15 clickbaity lists of burgers later, I finally find a burger that meets my criteria of being not-in-Hackney-and-therefore-convenient-for-a-midweek-meet-up-with-a-mate (honestly, Hackney seems to be some kind of burger utopia judging by these lists), and also sounding fab. I give you, Saucy Bastards at the Newman Arms, a few minutes from Tottenham Court Road station in the most central of central London spots.

They promise dry aged burgers, snacks, sauces & more sauces, courtesy of a Michelin trained chef, and guarantee a messy shirt at the end of it. Did they deliver? Did they ever.

The order

The burger part of the menu is relatively simple. There’s a choice of a double smash burger (the saucy bastard), a crispy chicken burger (the cocky bastard) and a veggie burger… called… no, you got it. That’s it. Naturally I went for the saucy bastard with extra bacon.

Because we were feeling indulgent, we also went with a “small plate” of Korean fried chicken, and the off-print but on-digital menu of jalapeño poppers. For fries, we shared a “salted” fries and a Cajun fries. Yes, we got too much food for two people, but again – in the NAME OF SCIENCE.

The meat of it

Let’s start with the burger.

This is pretty neat. Hot, soft bun; precisely smashed burger patties with amazing crunchy, crenellated edges – a bit like a sort of Slartibartfast had really put his Magarathean magic to work in designing fjord-esque edges in the smash process. The cheese is perfectly melted – and you can probably just about make out the slather of burger sauce and the hefty chunks of pickle in there. Let’s take in the cross section.

Channeling my best Nessa, I think I’d characterise this as ‘tidy’. It’s perfectly stacked – burger sauce, pickles, patties, cheese melt, and a wide layer of crisp bacon before you hit the top bun. You can see how thin and wide those patties have been smashed. The drizzle of grease and burger sauce also promises flavour… does it deliver?

First bite… crunch – beautifully crisp, well seasoned patty, with a delightful dry-aged funk. Double crunch from the crisp, salty, generous bacon topping, adding even more umami. Soft, open crumbed bread just about holds it together. Thick, sweet pickle cuts the savoury contrast down, and smooth vinegary, luscious burger sauce binds and moisturises. Is this a burger or a beauty product, you might ask? If beauty products were anything like this, I’d spend a lot more time wearing a face mask, that’s for sure. As it is, I have terrible skin but an amazingly refined burger palate.

In short; it’s hard not to want to inhale this burger. Every bite leaves you wanting more until you’re uncomfortably full. It’s perfectly formed – with an amazing flavour profile, incredibly high quality ingredients, and does indeed deliver on the promise of mess. Highly recommended.

As to the sides…

To each in turn.

  • The fries – well seasoned, but unevenly cooked, these were a bit disappointing. My friend Matt had the Cajun fries, where were more uniformly crisp on the outside, squidgy on the inside, whereas some of these were, in fact, soggy. The Cajun seasoning didn’t add much flavour but they were a better portion.
  • The poppers come in a light, sort of tempura batter, with a lovely goo from the cheese and a light pop of spice from the mild pepper. The sweet chilli added a good flavour contrast. But there were a lot of these; probably share between four, especially if you’re having another side.
  • The Korean wings were a little disappointing. They were over fried, so whilst the coating had a delightful crunch, the meat was dry and the sauce didn’t compensate – it was slightly saccharine in sweetness and underspiced for heat, IMO, though I’m hardly an expert in the ways of Korean fried chicken.
  • We had a ‘flight’ of sauces for £4. The jalepeno relish was more sweetness, and the ‘Hot Seoul Sauce’ was again too sugary, but with an unexpectedly bitter soy sauce edge. The ranch was the best of the three, smooth and luscious, would have again.

Overall, this was a great experience. The pub had a fab vibe and it felt like quite a nice take on a traditional boozer, freshened for the 21st century. Good selection of drinks on tap downstairs, QR code table service for the food from a resident burger artiste upstairs, very nice. Can recommend.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4.5/5 – occasionally gave way to the heft of grease and sauce but otherwise aces
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste –  4.5/5 – just a smidge too much seasoning for me
Sides – 3/5 – burgers are better than their sides, though the sides are decent 

Value – 4/5 – £30 for burger and sides; would have been more reasonable if we’d ordered a more reasonable amount of food, but we (inevitably) got carried away.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – would go back tomorrow. Night. When I’m less full.

The deets

You can find them on Rathbone Street or in Islington, as well as on Deliveroo. Deets here. Recommend.

Supra Burger, Salusbury Road, Queen’s Park

Saucy smashburger perfection

Burger source

I was meeting some friends in the area and they mentioned Supra Burger, a pop-up installation in the local high-end French style healthy rotisserie chicken restaurant. I could try to tell you more about how such a juxtaposition came to pass but I think it’s more joyous to let Supra tell you about themselves in their own words, because honestly – this is possibly my favourite ‘about’ content for any restaurant, company, charity or government – ever. Some selections:

Supra is a pop-up burger joint created in collaboration with Cocotte Queens Park, offering a unique dining experience that merges quality with community spirit.

We believe that quality is synonymous with honesty: we exclusively use fresh, superior grade products, sourced responsibly and locally.

We want you to discover a whole new world every time you visit Supra. We always strive for improvement, both as a team and in the products we offer. We persistently pursue superior goods, innovative sustainable materials, and uphold absolute transparency in all aspects of our operations. Our aspiration is for you to embark on a new journey with every visit to Supra..

Burgers act as a unifying link amongst us all. Each burger mirrors our community’s spirit, ensuring no one is left out.

That’s not a boilerplate; that’s bloody poetry. I love it so much; and I share the philosophy. Burgers ARE a unifying link amongst us all. And the friends we share them with? That smells like community spirit. Or maybe that’s the hot sauce, let’s see.

The order

I always try to get a bacon cheeseburger – or closest equivalent – when I order. This place, however, had an eponymous Supra Burger – exactly the same as their bacon cheeseburger but with additional pickle and supra sauce (alongside double smash patty, melted American cheese, and a toasted brioche). So I did the only sensible human thing: I asked them to add bacon to a Supra burger. It was served with french fries and we shared a portion of tenders.

Sauce seems to be a fairly central feature of the menu; so we had four (indulgent, but… when in Supra) – we ordered (off menu) the burnt chilli, as well as the ‘spicy’, the n’duja and the garlic mayo. More on all of the above shortly.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

This is immediately promising. Toasted brioche, crisp streaky bacon, healthy slices of pickle, brilliant char on the meat, fantastic melt on the cheese, tidy plating. Let’s continue.

In cross-section, the near perfection continues. The bottom bun is a little compressed, but it’s holding up. The top bun is light and airy with a good crumb. The burger meat is tender bur robust against the knife. The Supra sauce, a vibrant orange, spills out, promising… well, something.

First taste… you can actually taste a delightful char to the burger – it’s crisp on the outside, and tender on the inside. Just like Dime bars (let’s see if my audience gets this reference). The bacon is crisp as it promised; the cheese binds and adds savoury umph to every mouthful – but isn’t overwhelming. The sauce adds moisture, sweetness and an unctuous mouthfeel. The pickle adds bright freshness, sweet and sour sparkles around the edges of everything else. Meat, cheese, sauce, bacon, bread, pickle – all provide separate inputs into a glorious gestalt that honestly just tastes of joy. This is one of the best smash burgers I’ve ever had, and I would have it again RIGHT NOW if I wasn’t so full. It was a thrill. I had to search for any notes – and if I had to give one, it’s that I prefer a thinner sliced, fresher pickle – like those quick-brine ones you can do in the summer at home with cucumbers, in a sweet-salty base. But it wasn’t enough to deduct a point (spoilers).

On the sides…

The tenders were… a bit meh, tbh. Juicy, well fried, but lacking a little on the seasoning front and needed to be sauced for flavour. Which is just as well as we had plenty of sauces!

The fries were pretty much a paragon of a modern french fry – crisp, well seasoned (salt and pepper) and pairing well with the sauces.

On the sauce front – I didn’t get photos of them all – pictured is ‘burnt chilli’ (sweet with a edge that definitely tasted of chilli), a ‘spicy’ sauce that had a deeper red lustre to it and chunks of peppers – tasty, savoury, lightly spicy but more conventional. The garlic mayo was good – strong garlic flavour, more crème fraiche in texture than mayo. The n’duja sauce tasted a bit like the burnt chilli, but with chunks of n’duja in it – so not bad in any way, really. I’m not sure this was £10 worth of sauce, but we definitely enjoyed the variety. A must for the tenders, and a nice complement to the fries.

I had a mixed fruit juice to drink (sorry, again no pic, what was I thinking!) – tasted mostly of apple, but was very nice for all that it had carrot and orange in it too.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4.5/5 – not often you get both a soft give and a toasted crunch in one bite
Build – 5/5 – perfect construction
Burger – 5/5 – flawless
Taste –  5/5 – the parts were great and the whole was even greater
Sides – 4/5 – small deduction for lackluster tenders 

Value – 5/5 – £33 for burger, share of tenders, fries, drinks and service (which was super) felt very reasonable in this post-Covid, post-inflation era of eating out.

Burger rating – 5/5 – this is up there with the best of them.

The deets

You’ll find it in Cocotte, just across the road from the Salusbury pub, a few minutes walk North from Queen’s Park Station. It’s a joy. Go now. Tell your friends. And let this burger feed your community spirit. Mike and Leia – a joy to partake in this community moment with you.

Tender Cow, Mackie Mayor, Manchester

Small, salty, but otherwise spot-on burger

Burger source

We were visiting one of Amanda’s closest friends in Manchester over the ‘twixmas period and she was keen to take us to Mackie Mayor, a food court in a Victorian market hall in central Manchester, for the atmosphere and variety. The variety included ‘Tender Cow’, a beef specialist steak place focussing on obscure cuts. But they had a burger on the menu, so my choices were made for me.

Tender Cow’s mission is an interesting one and not one I’ve heard before. The burger didn’t promise to be made of a blend of anything in particular but it looked and sounded simple but fantastic so I was excited…

Here’s how they describe their ambition:

Our aim is to offer the lesser-known cuts of beef from some of the best producers and farms in Britain. Very rarely, unless its a very special piece of meat, will you see cuts such as sirloin, rib-eye or fillet on our menus. Instead we go for the less heard of and sometimes newly discovered cuts of steak. Flat iron, from the feather blade, is our steak of choice but this will be joined on our menu by cuts such as sirloin pave, spider steak, hanger steak and Jacobs steak.

The order

On the menu it’s simply billed as the ‘Mackie cheeseburger and chips’, at £15. I think the description promised burger sauce, onions and pickles too. There wasn’t much else to it! Zoe (9) joined me for a burger (minus pickles and burger sauce), whilst Emily went for Ramen, Amanda, Izzy and Nicky went for pizza from the exciting looking sourdough pizza place.

The meat of it

As you can see – it presents well. Brilliant melt on the cheese, and intriguing peppery texture to the burger sauce, a shiny toasted bun that’s still soft to touch, and a good char on the burger you could see. The pickles – home made pickled cucumber from the look of things – looked promising.

In cross section:

There’s a pinkness to the meat, which promises tenderness and juiciness, which is a little surprising as the patty is so thin. It looks like a 4oz total – closer to generous smash burger territory than the full heft of a gourmet-style burger patty. But clearly it’s been cooked well. There’s no unnecessary grease, and the stack holds together post cross section.

Time for the first taste. The umami hits – salty beef, salty cheese, neutral bun, and even a bit more savoury flavour from the burger sauce. It needed more sweetness – which does come in small, bright moments from the crisp, sweet and sour cucumber pickle slices and the bright, fresh sparks of onion. But the balance is off; the savoury overwhelms slightly and I found myself applying small amounts of ketchup to take the edge off.

The meat, however, is clearly high grade, and is the perfect texture. A light crunch on the sear, and soft, delicious and tender throughout. Coarse ground, loose packed but well enough to hold structural integrity despite its slender construction. The balance of most of the burger – between the sturdy but pliant roll, the lovely pickle, the melty cheese – binds beautifully. I’d have preferred a little more beef – 1-2oz more would have made all the difference – in managing the ratios here. But there was little otherwise to complain about.

As to the fries…

These are rustic, hand-cut, skin-on chips, that look like they’ve been double fried. Like the burger, they went a bit heavy on the salt seasoning them but don’t think they got the second fry quite to temp – a good proportion of the fries are a little floppy. But there’s good potato flavour and – when you get a properly cooked one – it’s a lovely crunch. Really enjoyable.

A good balance on the whole, and very cosy in the bright, airy, unrushed halls of Mackie Mayor – unlike somewhere like Seven Dials in London, there weren’t people hovering over the table waiting for you to leave, the staff were attentive and quick to help clear tables, and the prices were more reasonable (though I still flinch slightly at the inflationary impact, post Covid/the Ukraine war).

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 4/5 – point deducted for salt and size
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 4/5 – soggy fries penalty 
Value – 4/5 – £15 for burger and side

Burger rating – 4/5 – lovely.

The deets

If you know, you know, but for visitors to Manchester – it’s a few minutes from Manchester Victoria, or five minutes from Exchange Square or Sudehill tram stops. More here.

Mother Flipper, Seven Dials, Covent Garden

Excellent meat, middling to good toppings

Burger source 

Mother Flipper is on so many best burger lists, for so many good reasons it was exciting to check it out. The Seven Dials website (where the street food burger has a permanent residency) describes it thusly:

Brace yourself for thick, juicy patties, handcrafted from a blend of 28-day aged cuts, grilled to perfection, and topped with flavours of your choice. Slap that patty on a decadent brioche bun, then stack it high with lettuce, pickles, and onions. In the kingdom of London burgers, many declare that Mother Flipper wear the crown.

Let’s GO.

The order 

I had the ‘Candied Bacon Flipper’, feat their aged beef patty, candy bacon, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, red onion, pickle and american cheese. We shared a fries, at £4.95 for a health portion, as well as a ranch and spicy mayo sauce pot for dunkin’.

#YOLO?

I’m too old to know if I used that right. Tell me in the comments.

The meat of it 

Right, it’s decent presentation. Pretty stack, lovely glossy brioche, crisp looking fries, generous sauce pots… It’s on.

Time for a cross section:

It was quite dark in the (very busy) seven dials, so flash was required… but wow, look what it showed. Brilliant, coarse ground beef, cooked medium. Perfect melt on the cheese. The candied bacon (check out their Insta/Facebook pages to see how they make it, drizzling it in syrup and leaving it to caramelise) generously portioned on top. The salad looks a little on the anaemic side, other than some healthy chunks of red onion, but it’s a lesser fault.

First taste.

The bun is cold. I don’t know why this offends me so much, and to be fair this might be down to the fact that – due to the crazy-busy-ness of Seven Dials market of a Tuesday evening (who ARE all these people?), we were sat about 150 yards from Mother Flipper when our buzzer went off indicating food readiness – so my plodding schlep there and back might have cooled it down, but nonetheless. It was disappointing. But – crazy amounts of flavour, alongside the back-of-your nose, back of your throat hit from the dry-aged beef. The meat is delicious, heavily seasoned, well coated in the melty cheese, and well supported by the (intemperate) bun.

Second bite, and third, and the candied bacon and brioche, alongside the (meagre) ketchup portion provide a counterpoint to the salt bomb that this burger is, but not quite enough of one – chef went just a tad heavy with the salt shaker. The pickles and sauce are decent but could be more generously portioned – and I’d have liked more salad and onion too, just to balance the ratio of sweet, fresh, crisp, vs unguent, savoury umami. Just a tad off balance as it was made onight.

As to the fries… and the SAUCE.

These are lightly seasoned (would have liked some salt on the side to top them up, ironically), crisp, fresh fries. They had a good potato flavour and were brilliant dunked in the lightly spiced mayo (think mayo + a glug of sriracha) and the creamy ranch. The ranch was good but… needed fried chicken, really, it wasn’t the best compliment to the fries on its own.

Overall, a really good experience. Imperfect, but just a few minor notes and this could have been close to [chef’s kiss].

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  – did I mention it was cold?
Build – 5/5 – more salad. More sauce!
Burger – 4/5 – less salt! 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 – more salt!   
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, ish. Which is about the going rate.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would definitely be keen to go again. 

The deets 

Find Mother Flipper at Seven Dials near Covent Garden, or in Brockley. More details here.

Grind, Broadgate Circle, Liverpool Street

A posh McD’s double cheeseburger

Burger source 

I’ve popped into the Grind in both London Bridge and Liverpool Street a couple of times now; they are both vibey places with great drinks, good service and what looked like good food. When I met with a former colleague there to catch up on life and work and beyond, it seemed like a shame to not see if the burger lived up to the other positive attributes of the venue.

The order 

The Grind cheeseburger is served with dijonnaise, crispy shallots, pickle and skin-on fries. Let’s check it out.

The meat of it 

To the picture, maestro!

Two simultaneous first thoughts 1/ decent presentation and 2/ did they overtoast the bun? Followed by my admiration of the cheese melt, a bubbly feeling of pleasant surprise that the burger featured a double smash patty, and the glimpses of fresh pickle around the edges. Let’s see the cross section now.

Well, it’s well built – the lower bun holds up, the melt carries all the way through, the dijonaisse is evident but not overwhelming, the pickle and cheese are well dsitributed… but the bun is definitely over-toasted. It cuts with a crunch and looks dry, and also slightly crushed on service – the bun isn’t soft enough to spring back to shape after handling. The patties also look somewhat overdone, though it is hard to tell with smash patties. Let’s see.

First taste… there’s a healthy crust on the patties, but the meat isn’t too chewy – it gives way under just the right amount of pressure, filling your mouth with a rich, savoury explosion. It’s maybe just a smidge overdone. However, it’s well seasoned and the American cheese is very reminiscent of the McDonald’s varietals, in a good way – melty, savoury, binding the flavours together. The bread has a bit of crunch and chew – it is dried out from its run-in with the toaster and slightly disappointing. Second bite, and I found the djonnaise; it brings a little texture but no heat, with a light, creamy underside providing additional umami. The pickles struggled to cut through against the salt of cheese, beef and dijonnaise, but they did bring a light, bright crisp sweetness if you were looking for it – though definite room for improvement here too. A few more bites and I’m dipping it in ketchup – something is needed to cut through the salt explosion. The balance is just slightly off – salt, salt, salt, salt and crunch – and that’s your burger.

The fries – are exceptional. Skin on, medium cut but crispy, filled with soft, fluffy potato, perfectly crispy and well paired with the pots of mayo and ketchup. Not much else to report.

All in, with a couple of drinks, it came to about £27 including service a head. Pretty reasonable for the location (right behind Liverpool Street station) and the quality, given what inflation seems to have done to burgers in the main.

On the whole, I recommend this – I’d probably add ketchup and mayonnaise into the burger myself next time, to balance the salt, and ask them to just toast the bun on one side to soften the bun.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  2.5/5
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  3.5/5  
Sides – 5/5 – close to perfect   
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, which is apparently decent now.  

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – less burnt bun, better managed sweet/salty contrast, improved cook on the beef, and higher quality, sweeter, fresher pickles would earn this the remaining points.

The deets 

There are a few Grinds around, in the city and in the E/SE of London. Find your nearest here.

Spielburger, Everyman Cinema, Hampstead, London

A messy delight

Burger source 

The Everyman Cinema is a chain of privately owned upmarket cinemas that seems to have recognised that with streaming – cinemagoing needed to transform from transactional to experiential. Amazing, plush surroundings, brilliant staff, an attached restaurant in Spielburger, a good cocktail selection and more help justify the hefty ticket prices, table service (in the cinema, too!) and more. Going with my brother – both a fellow cinephile and a professional writer and producer – on one of his trips to the UK, made it a special treat.

The film? Furiosa: a Mad Max Saga. The burger? Wait and see.

The order 

Eating with my brother is always a sharing experience. So we shared the 1216 – Spielburger’s messiest burger (we were offered – and accepted – it cooked medium), featuring dry-aged beef, cured bacon, harissa mayo, potato scraps (!) and red leicester cheese, served with fries. We also got some sides – mini chorizo, garlic dough balls and  buttermilk fried chicken. To drink, I had a pretty in pink.

The meat of it 

Let’s have a look.

It’s good presentation – gratuitous knife through the centre notwithstanding. glossy bun, melty cheese, scraps of potato everywhere… bacon luxuriating beyond the perimeter of the bun, and hints of freshness from the salad and pickle eking their way out.

In cross section…

The lighting, as it so often is for the express purpose of burger photography, was underwhelming. But you can still see – the bun, with its light crumb and glossy sheen, is holding up to a heft of a patty – at least 6oz, perhaps more. The meat is coarse ground, loosely packed, and was cooked medium. The harissa mayo is generous and leaking out, but there’s not too much grease; structural integrity is maintained.

First bite… the patty is slightly underseasoned, but very tender, and very tasty. The dry-aged funk comes through from the meat; the cheese lends an unguent, gooey bind, and the harissa mayo adds an ever-so-gentle heat. If the potato scraps were meant to add crunch, they didn’t; perhaps we left it too long after it was served to notice. The pickle was slight and brought intermittent sweet, sour brightness. The bacon added the needed salt but could have been slightly crispier (again, possibly our fault for taking too long with our side dishes). Despite the brilliant texture of the cheese, I tend to find Red Leicester too indistinct to cut through the flavour… but there was enough going on. The complexity worked, just, though it was bordering on chaotic energy, and I enjoyed my half of a 1216. Though I’d be tempted to go more basic on a return visit…

As to the sides, and the drink…

The buttermilk fried chicken was a little dry, but the dipping sauce (a garlicky yoghurt) balanced it out. The doughballs were dense, and well cooked, but the garlic butter was massively overseasoned. The chorizo – hot, rich, paprika-y – were also oversalted (and messy). But for the kind of food it was, it was hot, rich, tasty and filling.

The pretty in pink cocktail – berry gin, strawberry, coconut milk and lime – was a brilliant balance of sweet and sour (emphasis on the sweet, just to my liking).

All that food, a couple of cocktails, fabulous service – came to just under £60 including service. Not too bad given the cinema tickets themselves were rocking £45…!

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 4/5 – perhaps being a little generous given the salt and dry-ness issues, but the fries were excellent   

Value – 4/5 – decent for an upmarket place.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – in the upper echelons of upmarket burgers; well cooked, great environs, fab service. A few small details and it good get into promotion territory.

The deets 

There are Everymans all over. Check out the website for your local – the one in Hampstead is lush.

And the film? Other than some slightly excessively indulgent moments of dialogue – well, monologue really – for Chris Hemsworth, it’s fabulous. A really brilliantly executed prequel, peppered with spectacularly creative and choreographed action and moments of real heartbreak and poignancy, without ever dipping into twee hollywoodness.

Victoria Stakes, Muswell Hill, London

An unassuming cheeseburger that surprises and delights

Burger source 

I was visiting a friend in North London and he recommended this local pub that specialised in ‘meat’ (slight overstatement, despite the ‘stakes’ in the title); rather this is classic North London gastropub fayre – locally, ethically sourced produce, prepared with love and friendly-local vibes. Lovely atmosphere, especially if you’re the sort of person who likes extra botanicals in his gin.

The order 

The burger is as follows: short-rib cheeseburger, chipotle mayo, pickle, tomato, onion, lettuce, [red cabbage] slaw & fries.

The meat of it 

It looked a little homely on the plate. Getting a decent angle on the burger in the lighting was hard – it’s an immense (8oz at a guess) patty, the bun looks deceptively ordinary and curiously toasted. The chipotle mayo looks concerningly thin and the skin-on fries – well, they look spot on. Out of shot – you’ll see a quenelle (don’t ask me why) of red cabbage.

Cross section time, ‘scuse the lighting.

The heft on the burger is immediately apparent; as is the enormous buffalo tomato slice, the thick slices of pickle, the bright, fresh lettuce, the softness of the bun, the coarse grind on the beef – coupled with its well-doneness – the even melt on the cheese and the puddles of grease on the plate. A lot was adding up.

First bite… it’s juicy; there’s a sour-spicy tang from the chipotle mayo. The pickle adds crunch but is very mild; the salad adds juicy brightness. The cheese adds a savoury goo; the beef itself has good texture; perhaps slightly underseasoned and slightly overcooked but it doesn’t suffer greatly for it. The bun is extraordinary – soft and pliant whilst being robust enough to hold up to the gravitational field that the burger exudes, at risk as it is of collapsing into its own event horizon. The combination is really very good – sweet, salty, sour, fresh – whilst at the same time beefy, gooey and indulgent – it hits a lot of good notes.

The sides – the fries are excellent – well cooked, crisp and fresh with just enough potato-ey bite, perfectly seasoned. The coleslaw – meh. Mushy and indistinct, without the crunch and zing you’ll get from a more traditional ‘slaw. Room for improvement!

Overall – a really good experience. Good service, good food, well prepared in a lovely environment. Recommend!

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5.5/5  – something really special here
Build – 4/5 – it does get messy – a lot of beef
Burger – 4/5 – cook it less, season it more, and possibly shrink it slightly 
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 4.5/5 – small deduction for the unimpressive quenelle of coleslaw   
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger, fries and coleslaw – with a pint and a tip, £28 a head. Not cheap but not ridiculous.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would definitely go again. 

The deets 

1 Muswell Hill. A map will get you there, as will this link to Victoria Stakes’ website.