Street Burger by Gordon Ramsay, Cowcross Street, Farringdon

Overpriced, overdone burger

Burger source 

Gordon Ramsay needs no introduction. And I’ve seen many videos of his online, guiding people on how to make the perfect burger. I’ve even been disappointed by a burger at his more generalist restaurant at the airport, some years ago.

But the Street Burger chain seems to be thriving and I’d never tried a burger here, so – for the sake of completeness – I wanted to give it a go. Though I didn’t have high expectations…

This is how Gordon’s marketing folk describe it: “Full throttle. Full flavour. Always.”

Overpromising, much.

The order 

The “GSR” – served with fries – came it at £16, and I proffered the (extreme) £3 for additional bacon. It lists as grass-fed Hereford beef, smoked cheese, house relish and salad. No option on how we wanted it done. An extortionate £8.50 got us five wings to share (opted for BBQ sauce as was dining with a friend who has literally no capacity for spice).

The meat of it 

The burger presents well, if appearing to be a little on the small side. Perfect stack, lettuce protecting the lower bun, fresh looking tomato, slices of sweet, crisp-looking red onion, perfect melt on the cheese, all contained within a soft looking bun. The bacon peeks out around the edges, modestly.

In cross section, the stack holds up well, but the fully brown meat, the absence of any pinkness and indeed with absolutely no juice or fat spilling through the cut – is a bit of a red flag.

First bite: there’s a pleasant dry-aged funk to the well-seasoned meat. The patty is dry – as anticipated – but an abundance of relish, the veg, and to an extent the melty cheese – add moisture to the bite and the flavour and texture combination is not bad. The bun holds up well, providing a good, soft, starchy contrast to the rich meat, and the salad adds occasional glimpses of fresh crispness. But… the relish drowns things out – the cheese serves texture more than it serves flavour, and you have to really concentrate to get any sense of the bacon whatsoever. It’s pleasant, but not pleasing – Gordon should be able to do better. A burger sauce or less relish, more, crispier bacon (for £3!!), and the burger finished at medium – or even medium well – would have had a massive impact on the burger experience here. Or possibly a better lean/fat ratio in the patty (more fat needed).

On the sides – the fries were perfectly crisp with a good starchy, chewy, potato core. An unexpected and slightly pointless dusting of sweet smoked paprika added little (other than confusion – what am I eating?), but they were otherwise  well seasoned. Delicious dunked in mayo and/or ketchup.

The wings… were small, crisp, and overcoated in a sweet and spicy BBQ sauce. A bite shows of crisp, well-cooked meat, the spice cutting through the sweetness of the sauce, and a light hint of freshness coming from the sprinkles of spring onions. These should have been great. But… they were too small, and too slathered for that. Juicy as the chicken is, it was so meagre per wing, and so drowned out by the half pint of BBQ sauce, that this goes quickly from sweet, spicy, sticky, sumptuous delight, to cloying, messy, overpriced disappointment.

Drinks-wise, we just had water – but it took the entire meal to have it delivered as Gordon’s people only had two waiters coping with a full restaurant. Their service and manner was faultless, but they were clearly rushed off their feet. Cue obvious gags about Gordon’s quest for margins.

£25 a head, with service, and no drink, for an average burger, disappointing wings, and better than average fries… well, you can draw your own conclusion. But in case you can’t… here are the scores on the door.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 3/5 
Taste –  3/5  
Sides – 3/5 – Fries are probably a solid 4, wings are probably a 2
Value – 2/5

Burger rating – 2/5 – GBK >>>> GSR. Not heading back if choices are available.

The deets 

These are popping up all over the place; the Farringdon one is a 2 minute walk from the station. Find your nearest here, then probably stay clear of it.

Blacklock, Bedford St, Covent Garden

Gentle mustard heat on a dry-aged double cheeseburger – mwah 🤌🏽

Burger source

Blacklock is more of an institution than I realised. Specialising in ‘chops’ of all kinds, I didn’t even realise it had a burger on the menu till James suggested it as a destination, and (having accidentally gone to the wrong branch in Soho before I got to the Covent Garden branch) I found two separate venues independently, joyously busy. Post pandemic, and in the midst of a cost of living crisis, it felt like a nostalgic trip to 2019 (those heady days).

Its origin is distinctly unburgery, however; it was founded in tribute to the ‘chophouses’ of 1690s London, where people apparently came in search of meat off the bone for the extra flavour that offered (not imagining 1690s London as London at the height of its culinary progress, but…). As well, apparently, as the inclusive, accessible, unpretensiousness of it all (not sure how much of that has endured, this place is a little fancy-schmancy…)

The order

The ‘Blacklock burger’ was the sole burger option, a double cheeseburger “Blacklocked” with onions caramelised in a ‘healthy glug’ of  vermouth. A side of beef dripping fries was a mandatory add-on. The restaurant does pre-mixed cocktails at tremendous prices – £7.50 for an Old fashioned feels like excellent value in a venue that will charge a tenner for a gin and tonic. And… spoiler alert, we shared the white chocolate cheesecake that was on the pudding menu.

The meat of it

The burger presents well. Perfectly assembled, two thin (2.5oz?) patties are covered in melty cheese, oozing with burger sauce, and a perfectly toasted, sturdy, seeded burger bun holds its ground. The burger is topped with a thin layer of pickle and the aforementioned onions.

In cross section, the meat has dashes of pink. It’s not quite a patty smash but it’s also not full on, thick, cook-till-medium beef patty. The stack holds up. It looks good. I’m excited.

There’s a good smell to the burger, but little heft – it’s indulgent, but not excessive. First bite – the bun gives way, the soft meat is melt-in-your-mouth tender, the slick, hot burger sauce sets your taste buds tingling with a gentle, mustard induced heat and you’re hit with the savoury, soft, dry-aged meat flavour rolling around your taste buds and olfactory system all in one. It’s sumptuous; well seasoned, well balanced, delicious.

Minor points of criticism; the burger could have used a sharper sear – there’s no crunch, I miss me that textural contrast. And there could have been a smidge more beef – just to improve the bread/meat ratio (the bread is robust and very present). More than one of us (we had five burgers at the table) were feeling wistful for a little salad, or some fresh onion, or something – to add a bit more sweet freshness to the burger. The pickle doesn’t quite manage this – it’s lost in a sea of burger sauce and isn’t… well, isn’t very pickly. And the onion is completely lost in the flavours of the meat and the burger sauce.

The fries – did not give a good first impression. They look… wan. Pale. Anemic, even. But they are cooked through, and well seasoned. There’s a good amount of both crunch and chewy, potatoey goodness in this (modest) portion. The beef dripping they’re fried in adds a really unexpected depth of flavour. But there’s a slightly strange texture to these chips. They take some chewing. Still, enjoyable, and improved by a dunk in the mayo.

The Old Fashioned… was OK. I don’t know if I love Old Forrester as a Bourbon – it was smokier and more bitter than I was expecting. I wonder if someone held back a bit when mixing the sugar into this one.

I finished the meal with a bright, fresh, lightly fizzy red Italian dessert wine – a Brachetto. It tasted of Summer, and paired beautifully with a massively excessive but delicious white chocolate cheesecake, shovelled with jolly ceremony into my bowl at the table from an outsized Le Creuset dish. SHARE ONE, between two. We saw a couple on a date getting one each and felt a pang of empathy for their chances at after dinner romance, should they complete the meal.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste – 4/5
Sides – 4/5
Value – 4/5 – I expected, with the drinks, for this to be pricey. But at £33.33 a head, including service, two drinks, and two courses for all of us, well — it felt reasonable.

Burger rating – 4/5 – a solid option

The deets

Blacklock is all over. Find your nearest one here. And if you’re meeting someone at the ‘Central London’ one, check if you’re going to the Soho One (on Great Windmill Street), or the Covent Garden one (not on Great Windmill Street, but an unpleasant 12 minute walk through the crowds of Leicester Square away in… well, Covent Garden).

Neat Burger, Bishopsgate, London

Messy, tasty vegan “smash” burger

Burger source

From one of the early investors in Beyond Meat and F1 superstar and non-meat eater Lewis Hamilton comes Neat Burger, a fast-scaling vegan food chain that “aims to convert meat eaters” to sustainable, plant-based alternatives.

As I continue to explore burger options near my office, this vegan offer drew me in, so I thought I’d give it a try.

Low carbon, highly recyclable everything, this chain has some admirable ambitions.

The order

I had the smash burger (Double Neat Meat patty smashed with onions, cheese, mustard, neat sauce + stack sauce). Came with a side of fries and a drink for £13.99.

I was also tempted by some no-chicken chicken nuggets…

The meat of it

So… interesting presentation. First job… get the burger out of its vertical wrapping.

It slipped out, and sauce went everywhere. Things slid all over the place. Hands got very sticky from the very chunky pickly burger sauce. Pickles fell out too.

As to the taste…

Soft bun, amazingly gooey melty vegan cheese, salty and sweet with the oodles of burger sauce, phenomenally seasoned patty… genuinely hard to tell its not meat. That said, as ever, the texture of the patty is every so slightly off – like a steamed burger instead of a genuinely smashed patty as you’d expect. But not so you’d complain.

The burger sauce is slightly overpowering – chunky, chunky pickles, over-generously applied. The balance isn’t bad but a more finely chopped pickle and slightly less heavy on the sauce would have improved things. Anyway, a very fine thing, and more filling than you’d expect despite its initially diminutive appearance.

As to the sides, the no-chick chicken nuggets are texturally not bad at all – decent bit, well seasoned, proteiny chew and no off-meat eccentricity. The fries – are superfine and less convincingly potatoey than they could be. Despite being well seasoned and crispy – I quite like the starchy, fluffy potato that come with slightly more substantial fries. The extra burger sauce was a bit of a mistake – just too chunky to be a dipping sauce.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4.5/5
Build – 2/5 – literally slipped out of the bun
Burger – 4/5
Taste – 4/5
Sides – 4/5 – plus for the nuggets, minus for the fries
Value – 4/5 – £19 for burger, fries and nuggets and side, ish. Which is a lot, but it was more food than was needed and the vegan premium is modest for the quality of the food

Burger rating – 4/5 – a great vegan burger for meat lovers.

The deets

There are branches all over London, the Bishopsgate one just a couple of minutes from the Bishopsgate exit of Liverpool Street Station. Can recommend. Find your nearest here.

Salt Shed, Box Park, Shoreditch

A beautiful burger despite an exceptionally robust bun

Burger source 

Salt Shed is a pop up in the Box Park at Shoreditch, and like so many Shoreditch Box Park pop-ups it has a brilliant story. From the website:

Laurence & Frank began curing salt beef to feed and educate some of their less cultured friends from university on one of the greatest London delicacies, The Bricklane salt beef bagel. This quickly became a popular dish at gatherings and university barbecues, once they graduated they wanted to take their cooking to the next level and Salt Shed was born.

The business started as curing meats but then the barbecue aspect really came into play, pastrami (smoked salt beef) began to fly they now serve an array of cuts that are slow smoked or hot grilled with some very complementing sauces.

So whilst a burger isn’t their core offer, it’s clearly a staple and it called out to me from the lush, lush photos on Box Park’s online menu/ordering system.

The order 

I had the ‘sweet one’, consisting of an aged British beef patty, smoked pancetta bacon, American cheese, toasted sesame bun, bacon & caramelised onion jam (hence the sweet one, there’s a variant that skips this) and beef dripping mayo. 

The meat of it 

I mean, look at it. Picture perfect. Toasted bun, crusty beef, crispy pancetta, melty cheese, reassuring grease marks on the paper (a good burger needs a good fat ratio), and a few dribs and drabs of sweet, sweet caramelised onions reach escape velocity around its edges.

First taste? The bun is chewy and slightly too robust – firm instead of pliant, it adds just a smidge too much breadiness to the bite. The burger is brilliantly seasoned, and the crunch of the crust, the goo of the salty cheese, the crisp of the pancetta and the sweet sunshine of the bacon jam, all lubricated by the sweet/savoury mayo, bind beautifully. It’s a tasty burger.

But it is slightly overcooked, and so a little dryer than it should be in the patty (my friend Dan had a regular cheeseburger that was showing pink in cross section – this one just spent slightly too long on the grill). And the ratios mean that some of the flavour balance is off – hard to know exactly how to remedy it but I think a different bun choice and possibly a bit more salad would have helped balance it better. But really very good on the whole.

The fries, a supplemental £3.50, were pretty much perfect. Crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, perfectly seasoned, hot and tasty. They needed more than the token packets of ketchup we were given to lubricate them, though, they were a huge portion and the salt got overwhelming. Share one between two!

Great combo. £12.50, no service payable at the box park, so value for the quality as it goes. Nice work, Salt Shed.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  – just too big
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 4/5 – just a smidge overdone
Taste –  4/5 
Sides – 4.5/5
Value – 4.5/5 – valuelicious by Central London standards.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would have again 

The deets 

Unit 53 at the Box Park, just by Shoreditch High Street and 10 minutes or less from Liverpool St Station. Take a friend!

Black Bear Burger, Exmouth Market, London

Every bit worth the hype

Burger source 

It’s a lovely start-up story – from flipping burgers at the weekend to multiple restaurants and a pop-up across London, Black Bear’s popularity has been blooming over the last couple of years. My attention was drawn to it, because I’m either trendy or just a sucker for good marketing (depending on how you look at it), as I’ve noticed a wave of Tik Tok reviews for the joint, including a very complimentary one from Jon the Food Don.

Anyway, lengthy origin story on their website. Some excerpts focussed on the burgers themselves:

EACH DAY OUR BAKERY DELIVERS OUR BESPOKE BUNS FRESH IN THE MORNING AND OUR BUTCHER MAKES OUR BURGERS TO OUR SPEC. ASIDE FROM THAT, WE MAKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN HOUSE FRESH EVERY DAY.

AT BLACK BEAR BURGER WE ARE COMMITTED TO USING HIGH WELFARE, HIGH QUALITY BRITISH MEAT AND BELIEVE THIS IS WHAT MAKES OUR BURGERS TASTE SO SPECIAL. STEW’S FAMILY RUN A SMALL BEEF FARM IN DEVON AND HE IS PASSIONATE ABOUT ANIMAL WELFARE; HOW ANIMALS ARE LOOKED AFTER AND PREPARED IS SO IMPORTANT AND THIS MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE WITH HOW YOUR MEAT TASTES! THIS IS WHY WE SOURCE OUR MEAT FROM OUR AWARD WINNING BUTCHER WHO HAS THE SAME ETHOS AS US.

Black Bear website

Ok then.

The order 

Right, I went for the Miso burger (dry aged beef, cheese, smoked bacon, miso honey butter mayo, onions) and fries (hand cut, skin on). I also shared some brisket spring rolls (fried wonton with 12 hr brisket, cheese, & smoked bacon, with garlic mayo and pickles) and wings with bourbon BBQ & maple sauce. A *lot* of food, accompanied by a Maple [Syrup] Old Fashioned.

The meat of it 

Well, it’s a pretty thing, isn’t it? toasted bun, love the sesame seeds, glorious melt on the cheese, crisp bacon peeking out the edges, miso mayo coating generous but not ridiculous. How does it weigh up in cross section?

Well, it’s messy. The mayo splurges over everything, but the texture is fab, the bun soft but sturdy, the meat tender and not overly greasy despite what must be an (un)healthy fat/lean ratio.

First taste: amazing umami – crisp, crunchy bacon adds brilliant texture; the meat, coarse ground, loose packed and perfectly cooked, is juicy and rich, with the mildest dry-age funk adding complexity but without undue fuss. The miso mayo adds an edgey depth of flavour, boosting the umami even further, and the soft bun holds it all together beautifully. Mildest of criticisms; the bun: meat ratio was a little high in the bun’s favour but only marginally, and the crust on the burger was ever so slightly soft – a harder sear, or a shorter steam to melt the cheese perhaps? Don’t know. But really very little to fault; this is a burger you can inhale if you’re not careful – I had to pace myself and savour it.

As to the sides…

The fries were decent; not universally crisp, but well seasoned and full of potato flavour. The brisket spring roll tasted authentically of a cheeseburger but – despite being a savoury fiend in general – I thought it was overpowering. Too much salt – cheese, brisket, and bacon – in a crispy, salty shell, with only mayo and pickles to temper it? There’s a very credible cheeseburger flavour in there which I think I’d have mellowed out with a burger relish or something else to cut the salt just a smidge. Texture is spot on – crisp shell, melty, tender meat, gooey cheese (though I admit – other than the salt impact, I didn’t feel the crunch of the bacon with this one). The home made pickles were lush – sweet, sour and crisp. The wings – I thought were disappointing, though Simon enjoyed them – they were over fried and a little burnt around the edges, dark brown instead of a golden colour, and the BBQ sauce was a bit thin and sickly for my liking.

We were given a teeny tiny soft serve scoop to finish the meal, which was a lovely touch, and it was a welcome relief from the salt bomb of the evening.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 5/5 
Taste –  5/5  
Sides – 4/5 – 2.5 for the wings. Everything else was good!   
Value – 4/5 – It was pricey – £14.50 for burger and fries, then more for the sides, but so delicious  

Burger rating – 5/5 – one of the best I’ve had in London 

The deets 

Multiple locations, in Brixton, Shoreditch Box Park, Exmouth Market, Canary Wharf etc., – find your nearest here. Walking back from Exmouth Market to Farringdon, check out the views, man. Love London in the Summertime.

Truffle Burger, Bateman Street, Soho 

An almost perfect burger… if you like truffle

Burger source 

Truffle Burger has started emerging on a variety of ‘best burger’ lists in recent months, and I even sent a colleague and her husband there on other people’s recommendations, so when a chance cancellation left me briefly without evening plans on a night I was in London,  it felt like a good moment to try it. The Elizabeth Line even made zipping into Soho of a Tuesday evening relatively easy, so we carpe diemed and headed on in. 

Their backstory is fairly standard as these things go:

TRUFFLE BURGER STARTED AS A STREET FOOD OPERATION. WE TRADED WITH LONDONS BEST STREET FOOD ORGANISATIONS AND MARKETS WHICH HELPED US PROPEL OUR BRAND TO A BIGGER STAGE…

When Truffle Burger was started in 2018, the goal was to bring a luxury product to the masses in an affordable and accessible way. All the food features truffle in one way or another and the idea came from the love of the ingredient by the founder, Tom.

The mission is to cook for as many people as possible, to show there is more to grab and go food than a quick fix, create a destination meal in a simple and affordable way.

Truffle Burger website

The order 

I had a Truffle Butter burger and my friend Pob ordered the eponymous Truffle Burger. The former a more or less standard burger, but generously doused in truffle butter, melty raclette and caramelised onions, the latter a bacon and beef patty topped with truffle mayo, raclette, fig jam and crispy onions. We shared sides of truffle Parmesan fries and some BBQ chicken bites. 

The meat of it 

The melty raclette caused the top bun to slide around a bit but the burger – arriving on a side plate – otherwise looked perfect. The bun was gloriously soft yet somehow standing up to a hefty 6oz ish patty, other toppings glistening slightly in the burger drippings.  The fries are peppered with Parmesan nubs and heavily scented with truffle, presumably fresh from a truffle oil deep fry, and the nuggets present an alluring invitation to chomp and crunch. More on that shortly. 

Butter burger on left, Truffle burger on right

The cross section is reassuring. A bright pink, perfect medium burger. A splash of meaty burger juice lands on the plate as the coarse ground, loose packed patty is revealed in all its glory. The bun continues to impress, holding up to the juiciness of the burger without being unnecessarily dense or firm; pillowy softness holding up the meaty lusciousness of the patty.  

Then the bite. Amazing texture – a firm, crisp crust masking soft, tender, perfectly cooked beef underneath. Perhaps slightly light on the seasoning, the truffle flavour – in the butter burger at least – is delicate, subtle, it draws you in to the wider experience of the burger. The caramelised onions add light sweetness and the beef and butter provides all the moisture needed for balance, although perhaps – it was a smidge too greasy. On the whole, however, a delight.  

The Truffle Burger provides a slightly different experience. The truffle mayo is slightly too generously applied and the truffle flavour is more in-your-face. The bacon woven into the patty adds a pleasant boost of umami, in unexpected and delightful pockets. The crispy onions add bonus texture (I would – and do – add these to a wide variety of meals, they’re a phenomenal condiment). Still great, but not as good (to my mind, at least) as the butter burger. Both, I think, would have been improved by a sharp cheddar versus the beautifully melty but slightly inspid raclette, which adds lots of texture but little flavour. 

As to the sides… I was not a huge fan of the Parmesan fries. The truffle flavour adds too persistent, too lingering, a funk. Despite being perfectly seasoned (via the medium of Parmesan), the flavour wasn’t entirely pleasant. And whilst I do love Parmesan, and Parmesan fries, the way in which these fries are prepared means its only barely distinguishable from salt. So, slightly, what’s the point. I also felt that the fries themselves weren’t entirely fresh – there was an ever-so-slight staleness to them. So OK, tasty, probably brilliant if you like Truffle, but not my favourite. 

The BBQ chicken bites… looked glorious, and were texturally perfect. Crispy on the outside, accented with fresh spring onion and more crispy onions, juicy, tender meat underneath that crunchy bite. But… they were slightly underseasoned – no heat or spice or even enough savoury salt to them – and the BBQ sauce was slightly cloying and insipid. A dousing in Uncle Frank’s hot sauce I think would have been a far better choice. Though it was a relief to have something that wasn’t completely infused with truffle funk after the overload of the burger and fries. 

To drink… I had an amaretto and (diet) cherryade cocktail drink from their ‘cocktails’ list. Overpriced and you’d expect it to be overpoweringly sweet, it ends up as a sort of delicious, alcoholic ice cream soda. A perfect contrast to the salt-bomb of the meal. 

Overall, this was a brilliant experience. If you love truffle, this is probably the best burger you can find in London. If, like me, it’s a pleasant novelty, you might not rush back. But do go if you haven’t. It is super. 

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5  
Build – 4.5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 
Taste –  4.5/5  
Sides – 3.5/5 – deductions for weird fries and underseasoned chicken   
Value – 3.5/5 – £14.50 for burger and fries, plus £9 cocktails – this is not a cheap eat 

Burger rating – 4/5 – really very strong option 

The deets 

There are a few of these around – in Soho, Seven Dials and the South Bank. Find it here

Burger & Beyond, Shoreditch, London

Excellent dry-aged burger with little to fault

Burger source

From Essex to London, these folk are pretty serious about their burgers. Their backstory:

We’re known for bringing some of the best burgers to the capital, using freshly ground dry aged beef made from choice cuts of meat. We first gained a fanbase trading from a Citroen H van, before opening sites at street food markets Kerb and Street Feast – and finally launching our very own restaurant in E1. Alongside the top chef-quality burgers that gave us our name, we serve American-style sides including Dirty Tots or Fries with bone marrow gravy, plus sauces such as our signature Burnt Butter Mayo, and a drinks list of cocktails, craft beers and wine.

For my part? I had been working late and wanted a treat, near(ish) the office. So I went in search…

The order

I had the burnt butter burger – a dry aged beef patty, double american cheese, crispy pancetta bacon, burnt butter mayo & onion. Side of (regular) fries, and a ‘piece of mind’ lychee based Prosecco cocktail (it had been a long day).

The meat of it

The burger makes for impressive viewing. The juices on the plate – a little messy, but titillating. The melt on the cheese – exquisite. The bacon – streaky. The burnt butter mayo – oozing out the side. The bun – a glorious shine. We’ll come to the fries.

In cross section, the coarse ground, loose packed approx 5oz patty shows off a pink core. The onion and mayo spills out .The melt on the cheese becomes yet more apparent. The bun – is a little cold and stodgy, which is a shame as everything else looks glorious. The fragrance of dry aged meat, coupled with the mayo, is like nothing else I’ve experienced in a burger.

First taste… brilliant. A good crust on the burger, brilliantly seasoned. A light, dry-aged funk comes across that’s quite hard to place, as does the bonus umami from the bacon, cheese AND the very distinctive flavour from the mayo… wow. The mouthfeel is brilliant, as you’d hope for given the grind and pack of the meat in the patty. The raw onions give a light big-mac-esque texture (only the good things about it, not the bad). The only – minor – downside, as expected from cutting the cross section – is the bun. Too big, too cold, too bready for a single patty. And the mayo sliding out of it did make it slightly too messy to eat by hand, so this was a cutlery burger.

Onto the fries… these are exquisite. Some of the best fries I’ve ever had – crispy on the outside but not so much so that they become crisps, with a fluffy, hot potatoey interior. They are perfectly seasoned, the tin cup holds heat without inducing sogginess – just lush. I paired them with some ketchup and mayo dips, which did help mellow out the saltiness. But that’s not a complaint.

This was disappointing – the piece of mind, a cocktail that I assumed would meet my hankering for something sweet and refreshing… but the lime was undetectable, as was the agave and the lychee. It tasted largely of spiked, watered-down Prosecco, which was a weird consequence of the combination of ingredients (Vodka, Lychee Liqueur, Agave, Lime, Prosecco). A lot of money for a meh drink.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 3/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste – 4.5/5 – minor deduction for the bun
Sides – 5/5 – glorious fries
Value – 4/5 – £28 for burger, side & cocktail, which felt a little steep (inc service)

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – I’d be tempted by a double next time, and a more conventional drink. But otherwise grand.

The deets

A short walk East from Shoreditch High Street, the restaraunt was small but cozy, with efficient service and a good atmosphere. Recommended. Find details and other locations here.

Morty & Bobs, Coal Drops Yard, Kings Cross

Good burger, excellent cocktails, lovely atmosphere

Burger source 

Kings Cross is a pretty convenient location for a few of us to meet up, and the redevelopment North of St Pancras is… well, pretty wonderful. Wide, open, modern, highly stylised – it’s absolutely buzzing, even on a Wednesday night.

Celebrating a friends birthday, we chanced upon Morty & Bob’s, and it happened to have a burger on the menu, so…

The order 

Bob’s burger [sic] & fries features an aged prime patty, garlic mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickles and a brioche bun. I also had a glass of wine, and a cocktail (their take on an old fashioned). Pudding… I was pitched a pear compote cheesecake. Let’s see..

The meat of it

First impressions, pretty good. Those fries look crisp and well seasoned (they are, though a smidge… stale?). The burger’s bun is glossy, there’s strong melt on the cheese, the salad looks bright, crisp and fresh, the bacon looks thick but crispy… Let’s take a closer look.

The bun – dense and possibly slightly oversized. The salad – over thick slices of tomato destabilise the stack. The meat – coarse ground, cooked to a perfect medium. Excitement… To the taste.

The meat is lovely – beautiful texture, lovely exterior crust, soft and juicy interior, with that light funk from the dry ageing. Lovely mouthfeel, but ever so slightly underseasoned. The bacon is a joy, and with the cheese (collectively adding an additional £3.50 on an already £14 burger and fries) provide the necessary umami to partially compensate for the patty, so I was glad of the indulgence. The mayo adds a smooth, velvety tang from the garlic that’s welcome; a crisp crunch comes from the salad and the hint of sweet sharpness from the pickles is well distributed. The bun… is cold, and slightly out of proportion. Too much bread, and what there was should have been toasted. But it works together surprisingly well and makes up for its shortcomings via the overall experience. It’s a good burger, and a pleasure to eat it.

The fries, as I’ve said, were solid. They seemed slightly stale, like they’d been left out too long between dips in the fryer, but they were well seasoned, suitably potatoey, and lovely dunked in a pot of mayo or ketchup.

As to the cocktails? Really interesting takes on traditional cocktails on the menu. Served fast, in a lovely atmosphere, with attentive waitstaff. A great overall experience.

Pudding? There were a few options and I had a cheesecake that was recommended to me. It was… fine. But not the right pudding to follow the burger. I was envious of my friends chowing down on a flourless brownie with ice cream.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5
Value – 3.5/5 – £17 for a bacon cheese burger, plus service, plus pudding, plus drinks – this was not a cheap evening. But it was good.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – a great overall experience.

The deets 

A seven minute stroll from Kings X station. Find Morty & Bob’s here.

Lord Wargrave, Nr Edgware Road, London

Possibly the best smash burger in London

Burger source

A friend with excellent taste in both bourbon and BBQ suggested we meet at this pub for a couple of drinks and dinner, and – seeing a double smash burger alongside a variety of ribs options, I felt confident that good things would follow.

The pub has high standards – from its menu:

ALL SMOKE – NO MIRRORS – we’re all about authentic London barbecue, with influences from around the world. Our meat is dry-rubbed, smoked in-house, low and slow, over British hickory logs. Our meat and poultry is ethically sourced, free range, and from local farms wherever possible, and our fish comes from day boats off the south coast of the UK, and is delivered to us daily.

Well. Expectations, much.

The order

We shared a half dozen crispy BBQ wings (my friend couldn’t cope with buffalo spice option), and naturally I had the Smash burger: double beef, double cheese, onions & pickles. I added bacon too, because… greed. To drink? House red, and I may have had an unusual bourbon because it’s a whisky bar too.

And I was tempted by a pudding. I’ll come to that.

The meat of it

Decent presentation

Take a look at that. That’s nice. Shiny bun, beautiful char on the meat and melt on the cheese, well balanced with the pickles and onions.

Let’s take a look at the cross section and see what we’re really dealing with here. I received a groan from my friend when I did this (as I often do).

Holy moly

I can’t explain this. It’s a smash burger – at most, two slender, three ounce patties. And yet there’s a clear and evident pink, uniform through the centre. First bite and you are hit with a wall of savoury – coarse ground, amazingly seasoned meat provides bite… and then soft, tender chew. the flavour is smoky, with depth but none of the funk that comes with dry-aged beef. The cheese binds and adds yet more umami; the bacon almost pushes it over the top, but the sweet pickle and onion tempers it. The bun is soft and holds together against the surprising heft of the burger. I force myself to take slow, thoughtful bites. Savouring each mouthful as the full extent of this creation – this masterpiece – of a burger works its way over my palate. Simon is jeering at me as a reverent look passes over my face; each bite surprises, delights and astounds me. This burger is glorious, I have zero notes. Not one. It is unimprovable.

So. Wow. Breathe. And then the sides.

The fries are – as you can probably see on close inspection – crisp on the outside, thick cut by the standard of American fries but thin for English chips. They are substantial enough that they taste of actual hot, fluffy potato; they are beautifully seasoned with salt and pepper, crisp without being greasy. Possible the archetype of what chips should be, could be, when they grow up. Without the ostentation of rosemary of any of that fancy stuff – simple, uncomplicated, perfect.

The wings are presented beautifully – I love the slim, angled slices of spring onion scatted over the – evenly coated but not dripping – BBQ wings. The sauce is smoky and sweet, but not overwhelming, nor particularly distinctive. The wings crunch as you bite into them, and the meat comes off clean – but is a little tough and chewy. Enjoyable, but I’d probably go for the buffalo if I went back, and hope that they would be more generous in the saucing process, with a meatier and more tender wing. Good but not great.

I was pretty full from the meal, but as regular readers may know, my kryptonite is sticky toffee pudding. It is the ‘BEYOND GODLIKE’ of dessert options for me and – generally – even a mediocre pud is a thing of joy. This time – it presented SO beautifully after being pitched to me by the waitress (it’s excellent, she said)… but then proceeded to have the texture and flavour of a mouldering brick. The waitress acknowledged that a knife should not be required to break a STP apart and graciously took it back, and off the bill. I’ll discount it from my scoring; suspect I got unlucky.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste – 5/5
Sides – 4/5 – minor deduction for tough, slightly undersauced wings. Fries were a 5.
Value – 5/5 – it wasn’t cheap but it was WORTH it

Burger rating – 5/5 – genuinely one of the best burgers I’ve ever had.

The deets

You can find the Lord Wargrave pub a five minute walk from Edgware Road station, tucked unassumingly behind the main thoroughfare down to Marble Arch from the Marylebone Road. The extensive selection of whisky, beer and wine is another reason to go back. Simon had ribs, which also looked glorious. Atmosphere and service, great.

More on the website here.

Roast, Borough Market, London

Gamey, well-put-together venison burger

Burger source

There was beef wellington on the menu, but such is my commitment to burgers that – in realising that Roast – one of the defining meat-centric restaurants in London – had a burger on its Christmas menu – I changed my mind. Note this is a far cry from the Roast-To-Go burger I reviewed back in 2017, even if it was prepared in the same kitchen.

The order

So there it was – the Wild British Fallow Deer Venison burger. Featuring a brioche bun, stilton, beef tomato, lettuce and Roast’s burger sauce. Had to be done. We also had a healthy diversity of sides – pigs in blankets, garlic mushrooms, broccoli, cauliflower cheese and chunky truffle chips.

The meat of it

Let’s look at it again.

It’s well presented and constructed. Lettuce protecting the bun from a juicy (?) burger, good slice of pickle, bright, fresh veg, ‘Roast burger sauce’ on the side, and promising-looking chunky fries in the obligatory fancy tin pot.

Let’s come into the cross section:

Look at that colour! A perfect pink, absolutely amazing! And the light hasn’t helped but he brioche is quite pale beneath a warm and attractively grilled bun. You’ll also note that the bun has slipped off the giant lettuce leaves and doesn’t want to stay settled at all – I’m pro shredding the lettuce on the underside of a burger. This hasn’t stayed together as you’d hope, although I fully accept that most people don’t cross-section their burger in this way.

As to the taste – perfect seasoning, there’s a wonderful umani between the burger and the stilton – which is unobtrusive and subtle. The bun holds together well and doesn’t have the sweetness many brioche do; but has fantastic substance and bite, contrasting with its soft, fluffy blandness against the flavourbomb of the burger itself. The texture and mouthfeel is good, though the burger is a little dry overall – I suspect that wild fallow deer doesn’t have the fat content your average 20-30% beef burger patty might – and the light gamey taste adds a pleasant depth of flavour.

The Roast Sauce? Is basically just a fancy, smooth home made ketchup. It’s pleasant, but this burger wanted a mayo or aioli style burger sauce on the buns to add fat and moisture back into each bite. Pickle in there would have added good contrast to the dry, salty, gamey meat. Not bad, but a few refinements would have elevated it.

As to the chips – they were perfect. Double if not triple fried, crunchy on the outside and fluffy in the middle, they were perfectly seasoned and very flavourful. Again the ketchup/burger sauce was a good accompaniment, but would have preferred a mayo or aioli dip.

On the other sides (sorry for lack of pictures) – the pigs and blankets were just fine – good sausages but not desperately easily to distinguish from a pack you’d from Sainsbury’s. The mushrooms were extraordinary – the right answer to how much butter can you use when grilling mushrooms is ALL OF IT. I heard good reports for the truffle chips, the cauliflower cheese, the stuffing and more. Good all around.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4.5/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste –  3.5/5
Sides – 4.5/5
Value – 3.5/5 – £22 is a lot, although possibly reasonable given the venue and cost of the venison

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – Enjoyable and interesting novelty, though I probably wouldn’t have this again unless I could change up the recipe. The meat was just too lean for a burger patty, and there are a lot of other good things on the menu.

The deets

Wander around Borough market until you find the lift/steps that lead up to Roast. You can’t – no wait, you can easily miss it. Good luck and enjoy – let me know how you found it.