Honest Burgers, Southwark Street, London: Plant Burger review

The Beyond Burger powered Plant Burger is totes amazeballs

Burger source

I reviewed Honest Burgers a couple of years’ back and the formula hasn’t changed a great deal. But thanks to a successful trial at its home restaraunt in Kings Cross, and the relentless march of Veganism, the Plant Burger is now a staple at its restaraunts everywhere. A collaboration with Beyond Meat (a company whose tagline is ‘the future of protein’), this promised the real ‘fake burger’ experience.

The order

So that’s what we had. We’d been told it would pass a blind taste test as “real” meat and I was curious. Plus, it never hurts to eat less dead cow. So away we went: here’s what came with: a vegan burger from Beyond Meat with vegan smoked Gouda, Rubies in the Rubble Chipotle ‘Mayo’, mustard, red onion, pickles, lettuce.

But Jme ordered wings to go with it, because WINGS. Also, no buffaloes were harmed in their production.

The meat of it

There is nothing in the superficial appearance of this burger that screams ‘vegan.’ It’s really very artfully crafted. Though it doesn’t really resemble the official glamour shot, that’s standard for the industry.

20190218122231

The cross section would tell more, I was sure, not least if that bun was as hard as it looked. Spoiler: it wasn’t:

20190218122316

The bun gave way easily, but the salad took some slicing; a mustard heavy coating covering a thick, thick sliced bed of salad, pickle and red onion. There’s something slightly off about the bun/topping/salad ratio; the burger is smaller than you’d expect, the salad bigger. But these aren’t major offenses.

Then the taste. The texture of the burger is softer than you’d expect and you don’t make out the grind in quite the same was as with a beef burger, but the flavour is remarkable. It doesn’t have the funkiness of dry-aged beef but, in a blind test, you’d be hard-pressed to tell it wasn’t real, and I’ve tasted a LOT of burgers. That said, there’s limited discernable ‘crust’ on the burger, and it’s not quite as juicy as a medium-cooked beef patty. But the overall experience really isn’t far off.

The complimentary flavours and textures meld well; the vegan gouda doesn’t taste a lot like gouda but is a brilliant, salty, melty cheese – better than any vegan cheese I’ve ever tried and without any soy-aftertaste. We speculated – not seriously – that it might be fake-fake cheese – i.e. real. The bun is soft and plain; a good contrast to the heavily savoury burger and cheese that holds up to the mustard and salad; the beyond burger doesn’t trail fat like its meat counterparts. The heavy mustard coating on the salad is actually fine in contrast with the rest of the burger and the overall umami experience is excellent. A little relish or ketchum helps take the edge off all the salt, actually, which is slightly overdone without a mayo- or aioli-based condiment or brioche bun to take the edge off – the mustard doesn’t quite cut it.

Overall, tremendous. I see no reason why I wouldn’t have a beyond burger in place of a regular meat burger anywhere it’s on offer. This is the thing sci-fi has been missing – why would we eat Soy-Protein rubbish in space, when the future is Beyond Meat?

Sides wise…

 

The wings were great if a little mild and on the small side; excellent crunch, smooth if not-super-spicy buffalo sauce. Go heavier on the Frank’s next time! The spring onion garnish was functional as it was aesthetically pleasing.

The rosemary fries are as good as rosemary fries get. Which is to say, pretty good, although a little heavy on the, erm, rosemary for me. Crisp, full of potato flavour, well seasoned, and excellent with a dollop of ketch and mayo.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4/5 -is its unweighted score as a burger. As a vegan burger, it’s 6/5. Best I’ve ever had. Noting that I’ve not yet tried the impossible burger and my veggie/vegan burger reppertoire has been relatively limited.
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 4/5
Value – 4/5 – £11.5 for burger and fries.

Burger rating – 4/5 – I would happily have this on any repeat visit to Honest, in place of a meat burger, and not just to be good to the environment.

The deets

Honest Burgers is prolifertaing. Find your nearest here.

Dirty Bones, Kingly Court, Carnaby Street

Decent (but pricey) mustard soaked thin patty double cheeseburger, meaty vegan burger, enormous crispy fried chicken burger and intriguing sides

Burger source
I auctioned off a guided burger tasting evening as a way of raising funds for Byte Night / Action for Children, a charity we support at work that does very worthwhile work with children in vulnerable circumstances. Naturally, it was bought by a vegan (and an omnivore).

So that meant we needed to find a burger place I hadn’t been to – so we could review it – and one that had vegan options. And actually, in #Veganuary, that wasn’t that hard.

Dirty Bones seeks to bring American comfort food, NYC style, to London. It’s the lovechild of two friends who liked what they saw in NYC and decided to bring it to London. Little about the origins of the burger, but we know it’s dry-aged steak and brisket… So let’s see…

The order
I had the “Classic” – double brisket & dry aged steak burger with American cheese, red onion, gherkins and dijonnaise on seeded brioche. Ed, our vegan, had the Vegan classic: Moving Mountains® plant-based burger with vegan cheese, red onion, gherkin and veganaise on a soft seeded bun. Saad had the free-range crispy fried chicken burger with baby gem, chipotle aioli and sweet chilli sauce on seeded brioche.

In addition, Saad and I shared the cheeseburger dumplings (housemade gyoza dumplings stuffed with burger mince and melted cheese. Served with our signature burger sauce), Ed had the Padron peppers (sprinkled with Madron salt) and a Fordham Gypsy Lager.

The meat of it
You can see this is a well plated burger.

20190117195633

Pickles, thick cut red onions and an extremely healthy of dijonnaise provider a slippery base, and the well melted american cheese gloops over the two crispy 3-4oz patties. The glossy seeded bun looks solid, yet pliant.

20190117195926
In cross section, a slight pinkness shows through – the Kingly Court restaurant is small, I doubt they have the space to grind and prep their own meat on site, which means they are limited on cooking the meat truly pink. And it’s not really necessary for this style of cheeseburger, so I’m not concerned. The dijonnaise is really slathered on thick; onions slide out of the base as I cut through for the cross section pic, and half the stack threatens collapse.

The first bite – is all crisp, crunch, sweet onion, and the hot rasp of mustard cutting through the sweet mayonnaise. The bun is soft, holding up well against the sauce and the burger, and – appropriately – not enriched. No need for brioche here, the dijonnaise, pickles and onion provide the sweet counterpoint. As to the meat itself? The grind is tight and packed in hard, but it is good meat, so it’s not chewy. There’s a light crust on the patty, but a hotter griddle and more seasoning would have helped this along, even if it meant a more cooked centre. The fat ratio seems slightly too low – it’s quite a lean burger and the only drippings are dijonnaise, not beef juice. But the overall impression is not bad at all; the heat from the mustard in the dijonnaise is moreish and its ample quantity makes up for the slight dryness of the meat; the bun is perfect, the cheese makes up for some of the underseasoning. It all works, albeit messily.

I have only pictures of Ed and Saad sampling the Vegan Classic and the Spicy Chicken, but I’m told they were good. In fact, Ed had to double check it was actually vegan (having been led down the garden path before), and was provided with a list of ingredients.

As to the sides? The cheesburger gyoza are just plain WEIRD.

They fail as both gyoza and cheeseburgers, but as a thing in their own right? Delicious; crisp gyoza skin, a hollow centre (where the burger meat has shrunk) and a core of slightly slimey, cheesey burger meat. Dipped in the slightly vinegar heavy, ketchup-based burger sauce (topped with spring onions and sesame seeds – a nice accent), you could eat plate after plate of these. Were it not for the £8.50 price tag…

20190117195643
The fries are skin-on skinny fries. There’s nothing bad about them – but nothing inherently interesting either. Perfectly capable, well seasoned, well cooked fries.

img_20190117_194530
I really liked the Gypsy Lager. New world hops, a hint of hony-mead sweetness, all in all, a very smooth beer going down.

Monkey finger rating
Bun –  5/5
Build – 3.5/5
Burger – 3.5/5 (beef)
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 4/5 – I don’t know how to judge them but those gyoza are an experience.

Value – 3/5 – £13 for burger and fries, £8.50 for gyoza – not a cheap meal out.

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – really completely capable, upper-mid table burger. With a few tweaks it could be top class; with the fries bundled it would even be good value… as it is, it’s a pricey novelty.

The deets
Dirty Bones started in West London, near Kensington, but has spread to Soho, Shoreditch, and Oxford. Find your nearest location here.