Fat Hippo, Wardour Street, Soho

Greasy, unctuous (mostly) flavourbomb

Burger source 

Hailing from Newcastle, Fat Hippo’s 13 year odyssey Southwards has seen it expand all over the North, the midlands, Scotland… and it finally arrived in London last year. The founders seem to suffer from a surfeit of descriptors, wanting to be known for their “great ingredients”, “good value”, “quirky flavour[ed]”, “indulgent” burgers and their “welcoming atmosphere.” True on all counts? Let’s see.

The order 

Whilst I tend to stick to the closest thing to a cheese and bacon burger, I’m also a big fan of ordering the eponymous burger, so I went that way – with a double (smash) patty, American cheese, smoked bacon, chorizo, onion rings + their Fat Hippo burger sauce. I chose skinny fries on the recommendation of the (entertaining, friendly, and yes, damnit, welcoming) waiter (hand cut wasn’t as crispy, apparently). We shared some buffalo wings (“Hot honey Buffalo + blue cheese crumb”) and after initially having a glass of blackcurrant squash and soda to keep the hydration up (love they have squash!), I had a Fat Hippo hillbilly lager – their ‘in house’ beer from Allendale brewery. How was it all? Let’s get into it.

The meat of it 

Presentation wise you can see this absolutely hits the ‘indulgent’ tick. The burger is about 9 inches tall, with the onion rings, which is obscene. But it looks good – beautiful melt on the cheese, crisp and fresh onion rings, lovely shine on the bun, smoked bacon peeking out the edges, and well seasoned fries on the side. But obviously it’s impractical to eat in this form so some surgery required before we can get to a cross section.

So I went down to a single onion ring in the burger but took a moment to look at the exposed stack. Amazing melt, crispy bacon, slightly disappointing to see the flaccid, super-market style chorizo in there (thicker and or crisp-fried would definitely have been better… but a much more manageable stack resulted from my fiddling and that led to this cross section…

This is pretty impressive – the meat is coarse ground, it’s a very even and smart looking patty stack, there’s a good ratio of sauce in there, the bun is robust and holding up well to the stack – although a little on the bready side, it is built to handle the aforementioned indulgence so, perhaps it’s all well thought through.

First bite… texture is perfect. The crisp onion ring gives way to sweet onion, there’s a bright umami flavour coming through from the bacon, the meat is soft and fatty and and perfectly bound by the melted cheese, and there’s some sweetness from the sauce. The burger is slightly underseasoned for my liking and the chorizo adds as little as you’d expect – a little paprika-ness, a little chew, but it’s a bit of a non-entity. The bread doesn’t feel as bready as you’d hope. Overall, though – really solid, and had it traded chorizo for more bacon and tapped a tiny bit more salt onto the meat when on the griddle, this would have been close to a perfect burger for my liking.

To the sides – the wings were really something – crisp, super juicy – but I found the blue cheese crumb overwhelming. I don’t mind a dip into blue cheese sauce with a buffalo wing but bits of it crumbled all over overwhelmed the buffalo sauce, which was probably a little on the light side for my spice preferences. The fries were just fine – decently crisp, decently seasoned, but unexciting (perhaps I should have experimented with the hand cut). The onion ring – pictured higher up – the one I extracted from the burger and had on its own – was stupidly sized – an onion half the size of my face was involved. It was ludicrously greasy and also slightly underseasoned but good and pretty much as advertised for a place that prides itself on feeding you messy food. And the lager… was not to my taste. Bitter and the exact opposite of moreish.

A good experience on the whole, though, lovely atmosphere, brilliant service (entertaining waited kept trolling Damian with his order, which is always a bonus).

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5 – a bit bready but not bad
Build – 4/5 – clearly impractical with the rings but generally solid
Burger – 4/5 – tiny bit more seasoning for a perfect burger 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 3.5/5 – can’t score the wings or the fries too highly   
Value – 4/5 – £30 for burger and side and two drinks, plus shared wings.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – really pretty good 

The deets 

Wardour street for Soho, there’s one in Shoreditch, and they’re up and down the country now. Find out more here.

Porky’s, 18 New Globe Walk, Bankside

Well cooked, well-constructed, slightly sweet burger in this meat-palace

Burger source

Independently owned by husband and wife team Simon and Joy Briggs, two road-tripping Brits who fell in love with Memphis, Porky’s is a full-on-rib shack. But they have a decent burger selection and were shortlisted for an award lately so we thought we’d give them a try. The burgers are 100% brisket mince, and to be honest I’m not sure what that’s meant to add to the burger (the brisket is a ‘primal cut’ of beef, featuring muscle and lots of connective tissue, classically braised or roasted – not sure if or how it has to be treated in a burger).

The order

A lunchtime visit so little extravagance; a ‘Beale Street Special’ and fries was the sum total of the order. The Beale Street special is a cheeseburger with onion rings, jalapenos and hot sauce. There wasn’t a ‘standard’ cheese and bacon, so I opted for this as the closest option on the menu!

The meat of it

Porkies_main.jpg

It’s a well presented burger, to be sure. Like Byron, it was a little too perfect, and I wondered what would happen on the cross-section…

Porkies_cross.jpg

…but medium rare it was, juicy and perfectly cooked.

As to the taste… I was unsure about the hot sauce – have never been a fan in anything other than Buffalo wings. However it adds just a gentle heat to the backdrop of an extremely meaty burger. Perfect grind, well-seasoned, intensely flavoured (maybe it’s the brisket?), this is a burger that’s more than the sum of its part. Like the Byron B-Rex, the combination of jalapeno, onion and pickles – alongside a brioche bun – adds a lot of sweetness, and the burger probably could have used a little bacon to take the edge off it…. But on balance the taste was excellent. Juicy, high quality beef, wrapped in a stack of complementary ingredients, well prepared and presented.

Porkies_fries

As to the fries… as you can see from the picture, they didn’t look like much. McD’s style thin cut fries, arriving in need of seasoning… but it’s a healthy portion for the money, and they are much more crisp than they appear, so on balance – a good thing. Colleagues had the sweet potato fries, which also looked good.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 3.5/5 – good but unexceptional
Value – 4/5 – £12 for burger and side, ish… but then 20% discount with a Bankside Buzzcard!

Burger rating – 4/5 – meaty goodness that would have benefited from a little more saltiness and chew amongst the sweet and spicy toppings.

The deets

Just round the corner from the Tate and the South Bank, this branch of Porky’s is super-convenient to my office. They have one in Camden, too, if you’re North, or Boxpark if you’re East. All locations here.

Byron Waterloo, 41-45 The Cut, Southwark

Byron started the gourmet burger revolution for me. Does it live up to my memory of it?

Burger source

Byron was founded by Tom Byng, who, according to its website, spent many a night in the US eating burgers he couldn’t find in the London of 2007… and so he set up. In my mind, this man, and this chain (now owned by a private equity firm with upwards of 60 locations Nationwide) kick-started the burger renaissance London is currently undergoing and showed GBK – then the only ones with a claim to the gourmet burger – that it had no idea what it was doing.*  In my memory, their ‘pure cuts of British beef’ were always cooked to a perfect medium, delivered with super-melty cheese in a soft brioche, and were just plain delicious. They even have their own cheese for extra meltiness – Freddar, a cheddar hybrid named after one of their chefs!

 

*mind you, I haven’t been to a GBK in years!

The order

We were there for a work related do, so shared a variety of starters (buffalo wings, nuggets served with BBQ sauce and nachos topped with sour cream, salsa, guac and melted cheese) and sides (fries, courgette fries). For my burger, I went for the B-Rex, medium rare (more common now than I thought it was in London!) – which is a bacon cheese burger with jalapenos, pickles, onion rings, BBQ sauce and mayonnaise. What’s there not to love?

The meat of it

Byron_main_pic.jpg

The burger looked perfect. I mean, look at it! A perfect stack, layered up as you’d expect it. The patty looked a bit tooperfect, holding together in a slightly suspicious way and I feared it might have been overcooked…

Byron_cross_section

…but look at that cross section! A perfect medium rare! Strong melt to the cheese, brioche holding up admirably against the sauces and one would assume burger juice.

Then a bite. The meat’s slightly underseasoned, or at least struggling to cope with the sweetness of BBQ sauce, onion and brioche. It’s also slightly low on the fat ratio (I’d guess an 80/20 lean/fat at best), which means it’s not as juicy as you’d hope. The grind is good, though, the texture melt-in-your-mouth perfect, the cheese glorious, the japalenos and pickles a sweet, crisp counterpoint to the crunchy onion ring. The bacon gets somewhat lost in all of this, but it’s adding salt to the hot sweet mess of this burger, so isn’t without purpose. The jalapenos are reasonably non-descript, adding the faintest hint of heat. Unfortunately… whilst all these elements are coming together well, the overall balance of this burger is a bit off – too much sweetness, not enough umami. Add to this the fact that the beef is just fine – unexceptional if good quality ground beef – and there’s no longer any specialness about this Byron burger. A serviceable output of a decent chain… but little to write home about.

As to the sides…

  • The wings are good. On the mild side of standard buffalo, suspect either they weren’t using Frank’s hot sauce but some poor imitator, or overdid the butter. Crisp and tender, though, and not bad for London.
  • The fries were fine – a small portion for the money (£3 for a portion about the same size as a small fries at McD’s), crisp french-fry style, well-seasoned.
  • The courgette fries are great – sweet, crispy and salty all in one go. Don’t even pretend they’re healthy, but they are delicious!
  • The chicken nuggets and nachos – meh. Chain fayre, nothing exceptional, except for the BBQ sauce which seems eccentric and different to standard, mostly in a good way.

Drinks-wise I was having Woodford reserve off its decent bourbon list. Burgers and bourbon – a killer combination. Or you can have craft beer if you prefer…

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5
Build – 4.5/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste –  3.5/5
Sides – 4/5 – courgette fries bump it up half a point
Value – 3.5/5 – £9, £3 sides, expensive drinks… a little overpriced for standard fayre.

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – it’s either gone downhill to ‘average’ or I’ve been spoiled by everything else that’s cropped up since 2007!

The deets

Everywhere in London (and some beyond), but this particular one was on the Cut, which runs from Southwark to Waterloo. Nearer the Southwark end. Find your own here.