Tag: brioche

Maxwells, Covent Garden, London

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Great build, rubbery meat, inoffensive sauce

Burger source 

I remember (vaguely) having a really good, albeit random, night out with old university friends that started in a bar that was on the same site as Maxwell’s, ending in the nightclub that was Roadhouse on the far side of Covent Garden, about 20 years ago. Good times.

This time around, I was meeting with a former colleague who was based in the area and who – for some inexplicable reason – wanted both the experience of dining through a burger tasting with me, and to catch up at the same time. So we did both; he had a head-sized margarita and I talked him through my process. This one’s dedicated to you, Steve.

[I appreciate this section is normally occupied with some chicanery about the reasons I was drawn to this particular burger venue; their approach to farm-to-plate food, fine ingredients for fine dining, etc., but in all honesty, I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade, I’ve tried the burgers everywhere, and a lot of the new upstarts frustratingly have very little dine-in space and/or are in sites where people don’t want to meet up with me. At some point I’ll have reason to do a burger tour of Peckham but I don’t think 2025 is the year… and, well, many of the places I haven’t reviewed just don’t have as compelling a story].

But… so as not to betray consistency – they have 50 years of dining experience. And have mastered culinary whatsits. Etcetera.

More generously – the vibes and service in this place were fab. Lovely cocktail bar/diner hybrid, replete with Americana, neon lighting, generous portions and weirdly hybrid meals (a Philly Cheesesteak served in a ciabatta? Sacrilege). We had fab service, they played great music, and it was a good time all around. But let’s get into the food.

The order 

My wont is to order the closest thing they have to a paradigmatic bacon cheeseburger. However I was thrown into a flurry of indecision by the fact they had both the Maxwell’s classic (featuring a traditional burger patty) and the Big Max’s Smash burger (featuring a double smash patty), both of which had optional bacon. I did the only thing a sane person could do in the circumstances; I asked the waitress, who made clear that the sensible choice was the Big Max’s. So Big Max’s it was; all the way to the top, featuring two smash patties, American cheese, lettuce, diced onion and their “proper” Big Max’s sauce. Plus bacon, natch.

I also had a Hakuna Matata to drink; a mocktail featuring mango juice, lychee juice, Monin mango syrup, watermelon syrup and lime juice… they might as well have called it the Type 2 diabetes. More to follow.

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look.

On first inspection, stray onion notwithstanding, this is a fine looking plate of food. There’s a pleasant sheen on the toasted brioche bun, an excellent melt on the cheese, what seems to be a decent char on the patties… and you can see bright, fresh salad peeking out the sides. The fries look crisp and hot; and whilst the bacon appears somewhat flaccid, there’s nevertheless a lot to hope for.

In cross section, there’s good (airy, warm bun with good structural integrity, excellent melt on the cheese, confirmed fresh salad), bad (bacon is under-grilled for my liking, sauce is a little watery) and straight up weird (how did the centre of a smashburger stay pink? these things are meant to be smashed to a meat-lace on the grill and crisped to savoury, almost crunchy perfection). I’m wary.

First taste… the flavour balance is actually OK. The bun adds sweetness and structure that contrasts elegantly with the salty cheese, which in turn gives some decent, unguent umami to boost the bacon. The meat is good quality but slightly rubbery in texture and perhaps a little under-seasoned. There’s a nice crunch from the onions, adding my much sought after textural contrast. The sauce is watery but adds moisture and a light, inoffensive sweetness to counterbalance the savoury bite… it’s OK. More bites reaffirm that, somehow – despite its limitations – the burger is decent. I have notes, but it’s pleasant and I’d recommend it.

My notes:

  • More seasoning on the meat, bros. Flavour is your friend,
  • Thicken up and season that sauce a bit more; vinegar; some diced pickle, add some sharpness to balance the sweet too
  • Crisp that patty! Smash it harder!
  • Render the fat in the bacon. And switch to streaky. It’s not a salad.

Otherwise – pretty good! Would go again.

On the fries… they were excellent quality. They came a little under seasoned but that was easily remedied. And could perhaps have done with ever so slightly longer in the fryer.

The Hakuna Matata? Sugary delight. Order a side of insulin.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 -bump for the onion fries   
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and fries, £7 for the cocktail, and – amazingly – a 25% discount voucher courtesy of Steve’s winning charm added value to the experience. But v reasonable for this part of London.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – good – but room to improve. 

The deets 

34 King Street, just round from Cov’t Garden tube. I really wish I remember what was there about 20 years ago… Can recommend. Details, booking etc – all here.

Cardinal Bar & Kitchen, Aldgate, London

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Imbalanced but not irredeemable

Burger source 

A happy restaurant non-booking accident led us to a meal at this East London eatery, ostensibly taking cues from Brick Lane but atmospherically holding all the vibes of a modern gastro-hotel restaurant – which I think is broadly what it is. Downstairs from the amazingly trendy Jin Bo Law cocktail bar (though independent, I think), the less queue-inducing restaurant features a diverse contemporary menu carrying gastrointestinal pub vibes – fish and chips, steak and chips and the burger – alongside Asian inspired fusion dishes, like tandoori lamb chops (served with crushed potatoes and watercress), and salmon mie [sic] goreng. Naturally the burger drew my attention!

The order 

The eponymous Cardinal burger features a dry aged beef patty, kimchi mayo, smoked apple wood cheddar, caramelised onions, lettuce, tomato, gherkins, fries. That was all for tonight; let’s see how they did.

The meat of it 

There’s no question this is a pretty burger; a perfect, shiny, brioche roll, a wonderful melt on the cheese, a lovely char on the patty, bright, fresh looking veggies and a sensible amount of kimchi mayo – enough for flavour and texture, not so much that it splurges out when you take a bite.

In cross section, you see the lovely airy grain of the bun, the elegant stacking (veg below, correct, even-ish bacon coverage, yes, fresh veg in decent proportion, yay, and controllable amounts of mayo. But look at the meat – whilst coarse ground, it is almost grey, and the burger shattered on slicing. This says, nay, shouts – as my teenage and tweenage daughters might say – ‘I’m cooked, bro.’ And not in a good way.

First bite confirms – whilst there’s excellent seasoning and a tasty char on the exterior, the patty is dry and tough. There’s a gamey flavour that speaks to quality, dry-aged (?) beef, but its texture disappoints. The kimchi mayo adds some sourness but no spice whatsoever; I’m not schooled enough in kimchi to know if that’s right or not, but regardless – the flavour balance is off. The sour from the kimchi overwhelms any sweetness left in the overcooked meat and renders the pickle completely invisible, the brioche’s soft sweetness doesn’t quite recover the balance. The bacon is excellent, as is the cheese, but the overall balance means this is just a little bit meh.

On the fries… they’re pale, slightly undercooked and slightly under-seasoned. So whilst they are again made from high quality potatoes, the overall experience underwhelms, with the pots of ketchup and mayo unable to compensate for the bite of undercooked fry.

The meal was £19 plus £2.50 for the extra bacon. This seems to increasingly be standard fare these days, but I would have expected better for the ££.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5 – this was the one faultless element  
Build – 3/5 – architecturally strong, flavour profile – not so much 
Burger – 3/5 – well seasoned, quality meat abused on the griddle.
Taste –  3/5  – possibly being generous here.
Sides – 2/5 – you had one job, fries  
Value – 2.5/5 – I can’t celebrate £22 on something I didn’t really enjoy  

Burger rating – 2.5/5 – could do better. Spicy kimchi, sweetness from somewhere, and a better cooked patty – would have made this really interesting. 

The deets 

Right by Aldgate Tube, dodge past the queue for Jin Bo Law, walk past the lifts and head straight to the back. You can’t miss it. And failing that, the website’s here. 

The Plimsoll, Finsbury Park, London N4

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Possibly perfect cheeseburger

Burger source

The Plimsoll is on so many ‘best burger’ reviews it’s almost obscene that it’s taken me nearly a decade of my burger gastronomic adventure to get out there. But thanks to an invite from local resident and corporate affairs industry watcher, Helen Dunne, I had a good reason to discover quite how accessible Finsbury Park is from Central London and give the gastro-pubbed refurb of the old, Auld (it used to be the Auld Triangle, so that was a pun), Irish pub and its famous ‘Dexter’ cheeseburger. Which I’m told is named for the Irish cow breed used for its meat, not the storied serial killer…

The pub is apparently under the management of chefs Jamie Allan and Ed McIlroy, who previously ran a pop up called the Four Legs @ the Compton Arms elsewhere in North London. But I couldn’t find a website, so blame me for citing a three year old Guardian article if I have this wrong… 

The order

If you want chips, this is the wrong place to be. I had the Dexter cheeseburger (beef, cheese, burger sauce, pickles, fresh onion, crispy onion, brioche – £14), and we shared a pile of ‘greens’ (it’s a Caesar salad of sorts, at £11) and ‘fried potatoes with aioli.’ (£7).

The meat of it

OMG. You can immediately see the butteriness of the bun; the double onion combo is spilling out the sides. The home made pickles speak of sweet and sour pleasure; the cheese is melted perfectly on a beautifully charred patty… and the glisten on the brioche. Wow. If looks could cause type two diabetes…

In cross section you can see the build is pretty much perfect. The plate remains clean despite the healthy amount of burger sauce that’s within, the bun is super soft but providing structure, the meat is coarse ground and the assembly precise. There’s a lot to play for.

First bite… soft bread, robust, perfectly seasoned bite to the patty and a melty, meaty centre. The sweet burger sauce and unguent, umami-rich cheese contrast beautifully, and the double onion combo gives you crisp and crunch in one. The pickle adds fresh, bright sweetness with a sour pickle edge and tastes of the summer day on which it was picked. The mouthfeel is fantastic, the flavour sublime.

It’s just a glorious combination. It feels and looks small but this thing is dense and packed with flavour. The first bite loads my hands with grease and burger sauce and I don’t even care; I switch over to cutlery to preserve my dignity and my shirt, and to draw out the luscious sensory experience. Every bite of this is like injecting pleasure into my taste buds; I don’t understand the appeal of class A drugs, but this… This I can see myself getting withdrawal symptoms from. It’s glorious.

On the sides…

I love that the salad was billed as “leaves with vinaigrette”; this felt like a loaded Caesar salad, dense with Parmesan and a slick sweet and savoury dressing – which is what you’d expect for the money. I wouldn’t exactly call it bright and fresh – this is a rich, rich salad – but it was a lovely contrast to the burger.

The potatoes – are perfectly tender and simultaneously crisp all over. I didn’t expect to love them – I LOVE chips – but they are beguiling, and provide a heft that ensures you walk away full – we didn’t finish one portion between the two of us.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5 – soft, buttery pleasure
Build – 5/5 – clinically precise, beautifully architected
Burger – 5/5 – inarguably extraordinary
Taste –  5/5 – flawless victory
Sides – 4/5 – these were great but felt a bit pricey 
Value – 5/5 – it wasn’t cheap but if this is what I get, this is what I pay for.

Burger rating – 5/5 – this deserves its billing as one of the top burgers in London. Absolutely extraordinary.

The deets

It’s about 4 minutes walk from Finsbury Park tube. Take the Station Way exit. Go tomorrow; Finsbury Park is < 10 minutes from Kings X on the Victoria Line so there’s really no excuse for anyone who’s based in London.

The Brush Grand Cafe, Great Eastern Street, Hoxton

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Superbly crafted burger in trendy environs

Burger source

The Art’otel Hoxton is home to the Brush Grand Cafe; an independent (I think) hotel chain featuring local art (hence the name, clever that). QW The venue makes for a highly stylised culinary experience, and the eye catching art on the walls, the brilliantly trendy (yet still practical) low-lighting and the early evening buzz on a chill January Tuesday made for a fabulous place to catch up with an old friend. She had the schnitzel, but I saw the eponymous Brush Burger on the menu so… you know where this is going. Let’s be honest, you knew where this was going before you got this far in but… allow me my indulgences.

The culinary vibes they are going for… well, it’s a European focussed dining concept, darling, so you know it’s fancy. But it’s also reasonably priced and the service was excellent, so go for a good time. But let’s get into it.

The order

The Brush Burger features bacon, cheddar cheese, bone marrow relish, and not just fries – but Frites – all for £20. I had a ginger ale on the side.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

That’s pretty attractive. Toasted brioche, uber melty cheese, crispy yet still pliant bacon, the beige bone marrow relish peeking out the sides, and the bright, fresh looking salad protecting the lower bun. It’s all warm and smells fabulous, stacked perfectly as it is.

A closer look…

Cheese – confirmed – perfectly melted. Bun confirmed – well toasted, but soft and with an excellent open crumb. Bottom bun holding up against the heft of what is probably a 6oz patty. Good distribution of bacon, cheese, salad and relish. And – and I’ve been saving this for last – look at that coarse ground, loose packed, perfectly medium beef? This is glorious. Somehow the burger also doesn’t ooze fat, despite – I’m certain – being well proportioned on the lean/fat front.

First bite… instant umami. There’s a good crust on the patty, perfectly seasoned, and tasty without being funky in the way dry-aged beef sometimes can be (I’m assuming that’s what this was). The cheese adds further salt and binds, unguently (I know it’s not a word but it should be), the bacon adds crunch and more wonderful flavour. The bun and lettuce, together with a mild mustard heat in the bone marrow relish, provide counterpoint to the mountain of savoury; though it’s far from a sweet brioche. The balance is just right if perhaps a fraction heavy on the umami:sweet ratio, but really – there’s very little to fault. The burger is also a decent size, and leaves me feeling happily full, particularly after the…

Yes, the Frites. They are oddly unevenly cut for frites (one – yes one, darling – expects a uniform slenderness to these), though that’s hardly something to complain about. Though they did seem to also be slightly soft, and slightly under-seasoned. Add the inexplicable dusting of green powder (parsley? For art?) and the flavour sensation doesn’t live up to the – admittedly concise – billing. Longer, hotter fry (or a second fry), more seasoning, less green cr*p and this would have been 5/5. It wasn’t quite up to the burger, sadly.

Overall, though, the experience was superb. Great service, a nice place for a drink, a decent wine and cocktail menu from the bar, brilliant art and decor – there’s a lot to love.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste –  5/5
Sides – 3.5/5 – I was not whelmed 
Value – 4.5/5 – £30 for burger, drink, frites and service is reasonable for this sort of place.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – will recommend in good conscience.

The deets

It’s a hop, skip and jump away from Old Street station, right across from the Star of Shoreditch. You can’t miss it. Not sure if the cafes at the other Art’otels are as nice, but you can find (and dine) them all here.

Supra Burger, Salusbury Road, Queen’s Park

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Saucy smashburger perfection

Burger source

I was meeting some friends in the area and they mentioned Supra Burger, a pop-up installation in the local high-end French style healthy rotisserie chicken restaurant. I could try to tell you more about how such a juxtaposition came to pass but I think it’s more joyous to let Supra tell you about themselves in their own words, because honestly – this is possibly my favourite ‘about’ content for any restaurant, company, charity or government – ever. Some selections:

Supra is a pop-up burger joint created in collaboration with Cocotte Queens Park, offering a unique dining experience that merges quality with community spirit.

We believe that quality is synonymous with honesty: we exclusively use fresh, superior grade products, sourced responsibly and locally.

We want you to discover a whole new world every time you visit Supra. We always strive for improvement, both as a team and in the products we offer. We persistently pursue superior goods, innovative sustainable materials, and uphold absolute transparency in all aspects of our operations. Our aspiration is for you to embark on a new journey with every visit to Supra..

Burgers act as a unifying link amongst us all. Each burger mirrors our community’s spirit, ensuring no one is left out.

That’s not a boilerplate; that’s bloody poetry. I love it so much; and I share the philosophy. Burgers ARE a unifying link amongst us all. And the friends we share them with? That smells like community spirit. Or maybe that’s the hot sauce, let’s see.

The order

I always try to get a bacon cheeseburger – or closest equivalent – when I order. This place, however, had an eponymous Supra Burger – exactly the same as their bacon cheeseburger but with additional pickle and supra sauce (alongside double smash patty, melted American cheese, and a toasted brioche). So I did the only sensible human thing: I asked them to add bacon to a Supra burger. It was served with french fries and we shared a portion of tenders.

Sauce seems to be a fairly central feature of the menu; so we had four (indulgent, but… when in Supra) – we ordered (off menu) the burnt chilli, as well as the ‘spicy’, the n’duja and the garlic mayo. More on all of the above shortly.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

This is immediately promising. Toasted brioche, crisp streaky bacon, healthy slices of pickle, brilliant char on the meat, fantastic melt on the cheese, tidy plating. Let’s continue.

In cross-section, the near perfection continues. The bottom bun is a little compressed, but it’s holding up. The top bun is light and airy with a good crumb. The burger meat is tender bur robust against the knife. The Supra sauce, a vibrant orange, spills out, promising… well, something.

First taste… you can actually taste a delightful char to the burger – it’s crisp on the outside, and tender on the inside. Just like Dime bars (let’s see if my audience gets this reference). The bacon is crisp as it promised; the cheese binds and adds savoury umph to every mouthful – but isn’t overwhelming. The sauce adds moisture, sweetness and an unctuous mouthfeel. The pickle adds bright freshness, sweet and sour sparkles around the edges of everything else. Meat, cheese, sauce, bacon, bread, pickle – all provide separate inputs into a glorious gestalt that honestly just tastes of joy. This is one of the best smash burgers I’ve ever had, and I would have it again RIGHT NOW if I wasn’t so full. It was a thrill. I had to search for any notes – and if I had to give one, it’s that I prefer a thinner sliced, fresher pickle – like those quick-brine ones you can do in the summer at home with cucumbers, in a sweet-salty base. But it wasn’t enough to deduct a point (spoilers).

On the sides…

The tenders were… a bit meh, tbh. Juicy, well fried, but lacking a little on the seasoning front and needed to be sauced for flavour. Which is just as well as we had plenty of sauces!

The fries were pretty much a paragon of a modern french fry – crisp, well seasoned (salt and pepper) and pairing well with the sauces.

On the sauce front – I didn’t get photos of them all – pictured is ‘burnt chilli’ (sweet with a edge that definitely tasted of chilli), a ‘spicy’ sauce that had a deeper red lustre to it and chunks of peppers – tasty, savoury, lightly spicy but more conventional. The garlic mayo was good – strong garlic flavour, more crème fraiche in texture than mayo. The n’duja sauce tasted a bit like the burnt chilli, but with chunks of n’duja in it – so not bad in any way, really. I’m not sure this was £10 worth of sauce, but we definitely enjoyed the variety. A must for the tenders, and a nice complement to the fries.

I had a mixed fruit juice to drink (sorry, again no pic, what was I thinking!) – tasted mostly of apple, but was very nice for all that it had carrot and orange in it too.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4.5/5 – not often you get both a soft give and a toasted crunch in one bite
Build – 5/5 – perfect construction
Burger – 5/5 – flawless
Taste –  5/5 – the parts were great and the whole was even greater
Sides – 4/5 – small deduction for lackluster tenders 

Value – 5/5 – £33 for burger, share of tenders, fries, drinks and service (which was super) felt very reasonable in this post-Covid, post-inflation era of eating out.

Burger rating – 5/5 – this is up there with the best of them.

The deets

You’ll find it in Cocotte, just across the road from the Salusbury pub, a few minutes walk North from Queen’s Park Station. It’s a joy. Go now. Tell your friends. And let this burger feed your community spirit. Mike and Leia – a joy to partake in this community moment with you.

Jensens Bøfhus, Holstebro, Jutland

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Very credible burger, but room for polish

Burger source 

Again, family holiday and needs must led us to Jensens after a morning’s shopping and exploring the local park in Holstebro, a town that my wife’s family have spent a lot of time in over the years. A bit of research tells me of its origins in the 80s, initially in Aarhus, then moving over to Holstebro and beyond. First as a restaurant, then a Scandinavian chain of restaurants and a butcher/kitchen producing meat-based ready meals for these here parts. Part of me was fearful we’d walked into the Danish equivalent of Aberdeen Angus Steakhouses (the prices certainly would reflect that), but it felt more Miller & Carter in the end, which is for the best. Anyway, broader translated backstory here if you want it!

The order 

I had a ‘beast burger’ – beef patty on a brioche bun with bacon, chipotle mayo, cheddar, BBQ sauce, salad, onion chutney and crispy onion rings. It was served with crispy fries and pot of mayo, and a good amount of lettuce too. The ‘special’ priced it at 149DKK (normally 199DK). In pounds, that’s £17 (down from about £22), so it’s pricey but not absurd, even by the standards of expensive Denmark.

The meat of it 

Presentation, uneven stack and absurd height of onion ring tower notwithstanding, is not bad. The fries look crisp and fresh (as advertised), the cheese has a brilliant melt on it, there’s generous amounts of crisp streaky bacon protruding, the salad is bright and fresh, the bun is toasted (on both sides – bit much), and the burger looks like it had a good sear.

Cross section…

There’s a coarse grind, and the lightest shade of pink (promised in the menu – Izzy’s kids burger is a more promising pink). The chipotle mayo oozes out, as does the generous onion relish and BBQ sauce. The bun is overtoasted – it crunches as I half the burger for the picture – and it’s hard, due to the uneven stack, to get a clean 50/50 split. I do the best I can and make a bit of a mess of it.

First taste… discounting for the slight crunch on the brioche (which you want to be soft!), the stack is surprisingly well balanced on first bite. There’s salty crunch from the bacon and light heat from the chipotle mayo. There’s tender bite from the meat which is still juicy and melt-in-your-mouth more-ish (although better if pinker). The sweet relish counters the salt – perhaps too much, if I’m being critical. Textures are spot on, flavours are – almost – in balance – there’s a lot to like. But – again – with the eye of a critic – the patty itself is under seasoned and the bun is too large for the meat, leaving to bready mouthfuls on your way through the burger. It’s good, but small corrections – bit more salt on the meat, bit less toast on the bun, bit more width to the patty, bit more even in the stacking – would have made this really excellent.

Which the fries were. Generous both in portion and in seasoning, a dusting of salt and paprika infused every bite with smoky, salty crunch. They were perfectly cooked with a soft centre despite the French fry cut. Dipped in ketchup or mayo – utter perfection. Although I couldn’t finish them – no cheffy portions in an artisan tin cup here, just as many as would fit on the plate – which is more than would fit in my belly!

I’d go back. It was a good experience. Service was excellent and kids’ portions were generous, food quality was high. Recommend!

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  – overtoasted and oversized but good integrity
Build – 2/5 – not evenly assembled at all 
Burger – 4/5 – tasty but underseasoned and marginally overcooked
Taste –  4/5 – over  
Sides – 5/5 – the fries were amazing
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, ish, seems decent for restaraunt food in DK  

Burger rating – 4/5 – really good experience 

The deets 

Find your local branch – if you’re visiting Scandinavia – here!

Gothic Bar, Kings Cross, London

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Expensive, delicious, unholy mess of a burger

Burger source 

Part of the Midland Grand Dining Room, a bar in the wings of the ultra grand St Pancras Renaissance Hotel (on the site of the former Midland Grand Hotel for which it is name), the Gothic Bar is a super lush, very chilled (although pretty pricey) island of calm in the middle of the bustle of Kings Cross. A little way from the ultra modern developments of Coal Drops Yard, the bar has a distinct 19th century vibe – friendly, ultra attentive service, chatty and charming bar staff and management, amazingly dim lighting (sorry for the terrible photos), and a wonderful warmth and charm. The burger seemed a conceit of the bar menu (not the even posher restaurant), and it felt worth a go, despite frightening prices on the menu.

The order 

The “Grand” cheeseburger au poivre (because nothing makes a burger posh like two words in French) – at £21, two portions of fries between five of us (£7 a pop), and a main fried chicken dish as a side between us (£14 – for three large tenders).

It’s worth admiring the official photography and description, via Insta, from the Midland Grand folk:

A “pot” of pepper sauce being a dish. But let’s get into it.

The meat of it 

Obligatory, but disappointing after the model shot, is my pic:

The poor lighting detracts from the impact but it’s still amazingly close to the posed pic. Fresh lettuce on the bottom, a well seared patty with an amazing cheese melt, thick slices of home made pickle, and a shiny, soft bun. Some slight concerns about the bun/burger ratio, but let’s come back to that. First, the cross section. Prepare for an even worse picture.

Ok, there is a lot of bread vs. bun. But there’s fresh red onion, a pinkness to the coarse ground patty, and for the most part it retains structural integrity well.

First bite… and its good. Unctuous is the word – the gooey cheese binding and adding savoury bite, the bun providing (slightly too much) starchy padding for the soft, tender meat. Sweet salad and bright pickles bring contrast and texture and the combination is an absolute, messy delight, as fat drizzles out the far side of the burger. It takes careful eating. Initially – the burger feels too small, swimming in the bread. But it is so rich – between the high (25%+?) fat ratio, the generous melty cheese and the rest, it carries some heft. Being slightly critical – it feels intially slightly underseasoned and under-seared – a crisper texture wouldn’t have gone amiss.

But the “au poivre” pepper sauce? Absolute delight. Adds all the salt the burger needs, a light, breezy heat, more richness and depth – a joy. Would that the “pot” (dish) of sauce was slightly deeper, and slightly fuller, and dunking the fries in here would have been lush. It’s a delightful experience, hurt only by the crazy prices.

The sides?

The fries were a paradigm. Perfect potatoes, perfectly fried, perfectly seasoned, just a treat. Like the childhood memory of a McDonald’s fry, but with actual, consistent crispness and potato flavour. 5/5. £7 does buy a portion for sharing – it’s hefty.

The chicken tenders – we were told we’d get 4-5 pieces between us. We got three. I nabbed a whole one in the interests of science / this blog (the things I do for my art). It was crisp, hot, juicy, fresh – just great, especially dunked in the sweet-not-sharp garlic aioli. A pickle as a palate cleanser and bob’s your uncle.

A lot of money and a lot of food later – we were sated. Time for the final wrap.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5 – soft, not too sweet, only slightly oversized
Build – 5/5 – a thing of beauty
Burger – 4.5/5 – tad more seasoning and sear 
Taste –  4.5/5  
Sides – 4.5/5 – great fries, good chicken, lots to delight, little to excite   
Value – 3/5 – £50 for burger, share of chicken, share of fries, and three half-pints a piece. Ish.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – this was great. It loses a point because it is not £30 burger and fries great – there are lots of places that will be a third cheaper than this and almost / as good – including the very good Double Standard across the road. 

The deets 

Turn right onto Euston Road when you exit Kings Cross, past the ultra posh hotel, and you’ll find the Gothic Bar (and the Midland Grand) in the West Wing. Worth a visit, save up though – it’s ££££. To give you a sense of why they get away with this pricing? There was a metallic purple wrapped McLaren parked outside the hotel. There’s no accounting for taste.

Old House at Home, Newnham, North Hampshire

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Very well executed pub burger

Burger source 

Living in rural North Hampshire, there’s with three kids, a garden to maintain, family commitments and busy jobs… we don’t have a lot of energy left over for date night. So the brief Amanda and I agreed on for a rare night with BIL babysitting was ‘somewhere not too far away’.

Having lived in the area for 12 years, there’s not that many places we haven’t been, but… a forensic search of Google Maps and Tripadvisor well-reviewed local pubs led me to book us a table at the Old House at Home in Newnham, an independent pub that had 4.5* reviews and was sufficiently nearby to meet the brief.

The order 

You’re always rolling the dice with a pub burger. They have such a variety of items on the menu, you know they’re not grinding the meat on site – therefore everything is cooked well done and there’s a chance you’re going to end up with a charred hockey puck rather than a burger. But… this place really reviews well so I thought I’d chance it. Here’s how it’s billed:

Homemade Beef Burger with tomato, lettuce, smoked cheddar, pickle, crispy pancetta served in a toasted brioche bun & chips

I was designated driver, so just lime & soda to drink… and I eventually, as you’ll see, fell victim to the sticky toffee pudding they had as an option for pudding.

Amanda had a fishcake and a crumble, which I’ll mention in passing as they’ll probably appear in soft focus in the background of my burger photos.

The meat of it 

Well, lookee here.

I’m not really sure what to make of it at first. Few burgers that feel the need to come ‘open face’ do so for any purpose other than misdirection (e.g. look at this brilliantly melty cheese… hiding a terrible burger)… but once assembled, you’ll see the proportions of the stack are all pretty sweet:

You can see the crisp pancetta sticking out the bottom left. The burger has heft but isn’t ridiculous. The salad looks crisp. The pickles – I started there – are sweet, sour and bright – a good start.

Let’s go cross section betfore we get into the tasting.

This is strong. There’s a crust on the meat, but it’s not dry at all despite being cooked well done. You can see the coarse grind of the meat in the patty. There’s a good amount of salad protecting the bottom bun, which is holding up admirably to the mass of meat above it. The bun is substantial without being overwhelming. The only real warning sign is the absence of any relish or burger sauce… but let’s get into the first taste.

Crisp, well seasoned outer, gives way to juicy, meaty centre – no aged funk, just simple flavours, but no worse for it. The bun holds up, adding a light sweetness and softness and crunch all in one. The cheese adds a light smokeyness and a melty pull, even as a savoury crunch comes away with the pancetta. A little fat oozes out of the burger as the sweet, crisp lettuce and tomato contrasts the umami bomb of the meat and cheese. It doesn’t need burger sauce – the moisture of salad and meat, the natural sweet and savoury – complement beautifully.

It’s really well done. If I was nitpicking, I would maybe have buttered the brioche (more?) pre-toasting, and used a blowtorch to add some char to the cheese melt, and maybe crisp the pancetta a bit more gently – it was a little on the blackened side of crisp. But really – none of these things diminish the burger experience. It is solid, and re-orderable, which is not something I’d often say of a pub burger.

The chips were almost perfect – really high quality potatoes, crisp on the outside and fluffy in the middle, and hit the goldilocks zone of well-seasoned. I had ketchup and mayo on the side which maxed these out – really solid.

(Amanda’s fishcake was apparently good too, on a bed of green beans and generously topped (and bottomed, it seemed) with hollandaise. She declined the poached egg topper it was meant to have, and I learned something about my wife).

A quick word on pudding (after all, this website is not dessertsource) – sticky toffee pudding is my kryptonite. It’s really hard for me not to order it when it appears on a menu of somewhere nice. And, gloriously, they had a ‘small’ portion option (£4.90 instead of £7.50 and not of Kaiju proportions). It was perfect – soft, steamy sponge, a lake of caramel, chewy bits where the dates hadn’t completely dissolved into the sponge, hot and steamy – contrasting beautifully with the cold, smooth ice-cream. <Chef’s kiss>.

(Amanda had an apple and rhubarb crumble with ice cream. Also nice.)

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5
Build – 4.5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 
Taste –  4.5/5  
Sides – 4.5/5  

Value – 4/5 – £19 for burger and side, ish, £5 for pudding, plus drinks and service – it’s a minimum £30 a head place.  Good, but toppy for this particular menu choice

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – one of the top non-burger specialist burgers you can get, I suspect

The deets 

Newnham is about 10 minutes drive from Basingstoke, a few minutes from Hook. If you know, you know. Recommended. Find the pub here.

Shake Shack Dark Kitchen, Deliveroo, Islington

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Almost perfect (albeit pricey) takeaway patty smash

Burger source

Shake Shack needs little introduction. A US import, with food-stand to National chain heritage (albeit via the medium of a large food services company), it arrived in the UK in 2013 and expanded slowly from its original location in Covent Garden. In addition to its dozen or so physical locations, it runs a dozen “dark kitchens” with Deliveroo, starting peak pandemic and evidently thriving.

So, when Lisa and James (who I was catching up with) asked me what I wanted to do for takeaway dinner, and Shake Shack was provided as an option… well, I felt I was long overdue.

The order

James warned me that the burgers were ‘small’ but I assumed that he was using the same mindset to describe it that I use when I go shopping when I’m hungry – i.e. one informed entirely by greed. So I flexed my willpower and ordered a single smokestack burger (cheeseburger with applewood smoked bacon, chopped cherry peppers, shack sauce), and we shared a time limited herb mayo bacon fries (crinkle cut fries with – you guessed it – herb mayo and bacon, sprinkled with chopped spring onions), and – largely because Simon was mocking me about it at Black Bear Burger and I relented – we shared ten chicken bites.

The meat of it

Post unboxing, this is how it presented.

Turns out, James wasn’t seeing this through a lens of greed. This is a small burger (4oz max, at a guess), but in a delightfully soft, brilliantly yellow brioche bun. A perfectly melted American cheese is evident and dark, crisp bacon peeks around the edges. You can sense rather than see the shake shack sauce.

In cross section, those peppers come into evidence, and the burger squishes into further submission. The knife didn’t so much cut through the applewood bacon as shatter it along a fault line, it is crisper than Walkers. The burger’s a little dry, though: no fatty ooze, and only the faintest hint of the shake shack sauce.

First bite: this is umami-tastic. The textural contrast is superb – melty cheese, soft, coarse ground, well season, well-charred meat, crunchy bacon, sweet soft brioche and creamy – if slightly too sparse – shake shack sauce. The red peppers didn’t add, for me, what this burger needed – bright, sweet acidity. Give me a pickle, any day. And a couple of dollops more of the shake shack sauce to make up for the dryness of the patty-smash-plus-delivery-travel combo. And… I think a double is not too greedy given the proportion of the burger. But really, all in all, a splendid takeaway burger.

The world underestimates crinkle cut fries. Or maybe it’s just me, too used to having them slightly underdone from a McCain’s bag when I’m rushing cooking supper at home. But well done – as these are – they are beautiful, full of crisp surface area, replete with soft, hot, luscious potato. The ‘herb and bacon [and spring onion]’ build is self-assembly, provided in pots and tipped ingloriously over them, adding creamy sweetness (from the mayo), bright freshness (the spring onion) and crispy crunch (guess from where?). It’s great, though for the price – £7 ish IIRC – the portion is far too small.

The chicken bites were reasonably seasoned, hot, juice, somewhat crisp and fresh. BUT – another £7 or so later – they were hugely erratically sized, the supplied BBQ sauce was saccharine and insipid, and – on the whole – I’d rather have had another burger.

Overall, a great experience. Not the best value small-burger-and-fries you’ll ever have, but an excellent takeaway treat, especially if you are low on salt.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4.5/5
Build – 4.5/5
Burger – 4.5/5
Taste – 4.5/5 – just the dryness! And the indeterminate peppers!
Sides – 4/5 – good fries, meh nuggets, overpriced
Value – 3.5/5 – it is a lot of money for an undersized burger and overpriced sides

Burger rating – 4/5 – an excellent, albeit overpriced and every so slightly dry takeaway burger

The deets

Most of the restaurants seem to be in London at the moment, but the dark kitchens are more dispersed. So, you know, deliveroo it! A full list of locations can be found here.

Morty & Bobs, Coal Drops Yard, Kings Cross

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Good burger, excellent cocktails, lovely atmosphere

Burger source 

Kings Cross is a pretty convenient location for a few of us to meet up, and the redevelopment North of St Pancras is… well, pretty wonderful. Wide, open, modern, highly stylised – it’s absolutely buzzing, even on a Wednesday night.

Celebrating a friends birthday, we chanced upon Morty & Bob’s, and it happened to have a burger on the menu, so…

The order 

Bob’s burger [sic] & fries features an aged prime patty, garlic mayo, lettuce, tomato, pickles and a brioche bun. I also had a glass of wine, and a cocktail (their take on an old fashioned). Pudding… I was pitched a pear compote cheesecake. Let’s see..

The meat of it

First impressions, pretty good. Those fries look crisp and well seasoned (they are, though a smidge… stale?). The burger’s bun is glossy, there’s strong melt on the cheese, the salad looks bright, crisp and fresh, the bacon looks thick but crispy… Let’s take a closer look.

The bun – dense and possibly slightly oversized. The salad – over thick slices of tomato destabilise the stack. The meat – coarse ground, cooked to a perfect medium. Excitement… To the taste.

The meat is lovely – beautiful texture, lovely exterior crust, soft and juicy interior, with that light funk from the dry ageing. Lovely mouthfeel, but ever so slightly underseasoned. The bacon is a joy, and with the cheese (collectively adding an additional £3.50 on an already £14 burger and fries) provide the necessary umami to partially compensate for the patty, so I was glad of the indulgence. The mayo adds a smooth, velvety tang from the garlic that’s welcome; a crisp crunch comes from the salad and the hint of sweet sharpness from the pickles is well distributed. The bun… is cold, and slightly out of proportion. Too much bread, and what there was should have been toasted. But it works together surprisingly well and makes up for its shortcomings via the overall experience. It’s a good burger, and a pleasure to eat it.

The fries, as I’ve said, were solid. They seemed slightly stale, like they’d been left out too long between dips in the fryer, but they were well seasoned, suitably potatoey, and lovely dunked in a pot of mayo or ketchup.

As to the cocktails? Really interesting takes on traditional cocktails on the menu. Served fast, in a lovely atmosphere, with attentive waitstaff. A great overall experience.

Pudding? There were a few options and I had a cheesecake that was recommended to me. It was… fine. But not the right pudding to follow the burger. I was envious of my friends chowing down on a flourless brownie with ice cream.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5
Value – 3.5/5 – £17 for a bacon cheese burger, plus service, plus pudding, plus drinks – this was not a cheap evening. But it was good.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – a great overall experience.

The deets 

A seven minute stroll from Kings X station. Find Morty & Bob’s here.