Cardinal Bar & Kitchen, Aldgate, London

Imbalanced but not irredeemable

Burger source 

A happy restaurant non-booking accident led us to a meal at this East London eatery, ostensibly taking cues from Brick Lane but atmospherically holding all the vibes of a modern gastro-hotel restaurant – which I think is broadly what it is. Downstairs from the amazingly trendy Jin Bo Law cocktail bar (though independent, I think), the less queue-inducing restaurant features a diverse contemporary menu carrying gastrointestinal pub vibes – fish and chips, steak and chips and the burger – alongside Asian inspired fusion dishes, like tandoori lamb chops (served with crushed potatoes and watercress), and salmon mie [sic] goreng. Naturally the burger drew my attention!

The order 

The eponymous Cardinal burger features a dry aged beef patty, kimchi mayo, smoked apple wood cheddar, caramelised onions, lettuce, tomato, gherkins, fries. That was all for tonight; let’s see how they did.

The meat of it 

There’s no question this is a pretty burger; a perfect, shiny, brioche roll, a wonderful melt on the cheese, a lovely char on the patty, bright, fresh looking veggies and a sensible amount of kimchi mayo – enough for flavour and texture, not so much that it splurges out when you take a bite.

In cross section, you see the lovely airy grain of the bun, the elegant stacking (veg below, correct, even-ish bacon coverage, yes, fresh veg in decent proportion, yay, and controllable amounts of mayo. But look at the meat – whilst coarse ground, it is almost grey, and the burger shattered on slicing. This says, nay, shouts – as my teenage and tweenage daughters might say – ‘I’m cooked, bro.’ And not in a good way.

First bite confirms – whilst there’s excellent seasoning and a tasty char on the exterior, the patty is dry and tough. There’s a gamey flavour that speaks to quality, dry-aged (?) beef, but its texture disappoints. The kimchi mayo adds some sourness but no spice whatsoever; I’m not schooled enough in kimchi to know if that’s right or not, but regardless – the flavour balance is off. The sour from the kimchi overwhelms any sweetness left in the overcooked meat and renders the pickle completely invisible, the brioche’s soft sweetness doesn’t quite recover the balance. The bacon is excellent, as is the cheese, but the overall balance means this is just a little bit meh.

On the fries… they’re pale, slightly undercooked and slightly under-seasoned. So whilst they are again made from high quality potatoes, the overall experience underwhelms, with the pots of ketchup and mayo unable to compensate for the bite of undercooked fry.

The meal was £19 plus £2.50 for the extra bacon. This seems to increasingly be standard fare these days, but I would have expected better for the ££.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5 – this was the one faultless element  
Build – 3/5 – architecturally strong, flavour profile – not so much 
Burger – 3/5 – well seasoned, quality meat abused on the griddle.
Taste –  3/5  – possibly being generous here.
Sides – 2/5 – you had one job, fries  
Value – 2.5/5 – I can’t celebrate £22 on something I didn’t really enjoy  

Burger rating – 2.5/5 – could do better. Spicy kimchi, sweetness from somewhere, and a better cooked patty – would have made this really interesting. 

The deets 

Right by Aldgate Tube, dodge past the queue for Jin Bo Law, walk past the lifts and head straight to the back. You can’t miss it. And failing that, the website’s here

Beast & Field, Box Park, Shoreditch

A burger of contrasts

Burger source 

Honestly? I was trying to meet a friend at Dumbo Shoreditch after all the TikTok hype, but I didn’t realise that it was full-on, take-out only, so we retreated to the old faithful that is Box Park, and was delighted to find that Beast & Field had arrived since I last stopped in… Literal fresh meat.

Their mission, says their website, is simple. Make ethical eating easy and fun. In particular – they focus on getting grass-fed beef from farms they trust, cooking it well and pricing it sensibly. Did they succeed? SPOILERS.

The order 

They’ve only got one burger; a steak patty, with onion jam, crispy shallots, tomato, leaves, mayo and their own handmade organic burger bun. I added bacon (it’s an option!) and had a side of their chips, which come with smoked paprika and Himalayan salt, no less.

The meat of it

 

What’s wrong with this picture? Well clearly the bun is burnt; that’s not a deliberate look for it. But otherwise – strong melt on the cheese, good char on the meat, an elegant stack. The fake Lilt looks interesting, and the fries…. Well I’ll come back to that.

Cross section…

This started to restore confidence. Bright, fresh vegetables protect the lower bun. The meat is well proportioned and coarse ground, though perhaps a little well done for a thick patty. The onion jam promises some sweetness, the crispy shallots falling out the side promise some crunch, and the bacon is rended crisp but not glass-like in its texture. The bun has a good grain despite its overly browned state. In short; it’s looking good on the whole.

First bite… well, it’s definitely burned. The char on the bun adds bitterness and the bun is slightly dryer than intended. The meat is beautifully seasoned and has a lovely bite as you get through the well cooked exterior… but it slightly dryer than intended again from an over generous turn on the griddle. The bacon gives crunch, the shallots give crunch, the cheese adds further to unguent, umami goodness. There’s brightness from the veg and sweetness from the onion jam…. I find myself almost forgiving the burnt bun and the overdone meat as this burger strikes that perfect balance of sweet and savoury; of crunchy and comforting. If your home was made of 100% grass fed beef, this burger would taste of home – it is comforting and happy making, even with its flaws.

The sides?

Two things to speak of here; the chips first. They are glorious; tossed in a delightfully savoury set of seasonings (Himalayalicious), they are chip-shop cut – chunky – but double or triple fried so as to be brilliantly crispy and crunchy. The thickness means many of them maintain that pillowy fluffiness some people are so keen on in a chip; for me it was that on occasion, with a heavier dose of crunchy goodness that made these pretty much the paradigm of a chip. The sauce was a chimmichurri mayo; smooth, slightly sour, savoury, fresh and delicious. If only I hadn’t dropped half of it when I collected my order…

The fake lilt drink? Also delicious, though that was from Boxpark’s bar, so… can’t really count it.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  2.5/5 – major deductions for it being burnt.   
Build – 5/5 – can’t fault the construction
Burger – 4/5 – elsewhere this would have scored worse due to being overdone. But in gestalt, the quality of everything was aces 
Taste –  4/5  – better than expected; awesome flavour/culture contrast
Sides – 5/5 – cannot fault chips or dips
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and side, minus service (because Box Park, there is none) felt a lot given it was burnt. But it was a well constructed burger, the portion was generous, and inflation is a beast too.

Burger rating – 4/5 – the overall experience was joyous despite its constraints.

The deets 

There’s a few of these around; Boxpark, Mayfair, Ladbroke Grove & Shoreditch. Find your local; it’s worth a try. And if it’s burnt, sent it back and get them to do it right – it’s worth the fuss.

Street Burger Bistro, Prague, Czech Republic

Hefty, tasty, soggy Czech burger

Burger source

When in London, I struggle to find a burger place I haven’t reviewed. On this, my first visit to the Czech Republic, needless to say I didn’t have the same issue. In fact, by crazy random happenstance, our hotel was next to a burger restaurant called simply ‘Fat f**k smashburger’ – where we had intended to have supper. Unfortunately – and perhaps unsurprisingly given both its reputation and its name – it was completely booked out. So we went in search of another highly reviewed burger, not too far from our hotel – and found it, on the edge of the Old Town, in the Street Burger Bistro.

The order

My kids, predictably, proceeded to order the well constructed burgers and remove stuff from them. I did not; ordering the cheeseburger (burger, bacon, cheddar, red onion, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise) as it was designed to be. We had fries and some onion rings on the side (ok; we had fries, I had the onion rings) and an alcohol free Czech beer to drink.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

Ok, it’s not evenly stacked but it is pretty – a good melt on the cheese, a hefty piece of well cooked back bacon, bright fresh lettuce, a golden seeded bun, and a decent amount of mayo. Let’s look in cross section…

The lower bun is already collapsing under the heft of the burger, and the (two) tomato slices are causing the patty to slide. There’s perhaps a smidge too much mayo. The burger… delighted as I was to have it pink, there’s something about the severe stripes of brown and pink that concerns me.

And it reveals itself in bite one; the sear is so heavy that there’s quite a rubbery first mouthfeel before you get to the soft, medium centre. The burger is otherwise juicy and delightfully seasoned; the companion cheese and bacon adds further umami… which is not quite balanced with the salad; the tomato isn’t ripe or seasoned, I think, causing it to be a bland rather than a sweet counterpoint. The mayo adds more moisture and depth and the bottom bun all but collapses as you eat it, though the bun otherwise lends a pleasing starchy blandness as a counterpoint to the taste fest that is the rest of the burger. The whole is good – it’s a tasty patty, and the design that’s gone into shaping this is excellent. But the execution wasn’t quite there tonight, and what could have been a 5/5 is shooting just a smidge under tonight.

On the sides and the drink:

The fries were lovely. Perfectly, albeit lightly seasoned (too many places in the UK overdo the salt), they have a crisp exterior, a fluffy interior and are consistent the whole way through. As good on their own as they are dunked in a very aesthetic little tub of ketchup they brought us for them on request.

The onion rings… are surprising. They are the minced onion kind; not whole slices of fresh onion, and breaded rather than battered. To me this normally spells ‘frozen’ and therefore immediately consigns them to the mediocre pile. However these were hot, crisp and well seasoned, and the onion retained flavour and sweetness. A joyous surprise; as I’m sure is the experience of learning I put this much thought into the experience of eating onion rings.

Izzy had a hot dog, removing all the toppings that were designed for it but ketchup, and I had a taste at the end when she reached her limit… and it was excellent. Well spiced, rich with paprika, salt, pepper and other flavourings I couldn’t identify – and with actual texture – none of that soggy synthetic flavour you get with frankfurters.

The beer was a slightly dark lager, crisp and clear with a bitter edge. I prefer a bit more of a pilsener, so it wasn’t quite what I imagined when I ordered but it was good for what it was.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4/5 – good texture and flavour but didn’t hold up to the burger
Build – 3/5 – uneven stack, unripe tomatoes
Burger – 4/5 – over hard sear makes an otherwise excellent burger slightly rubbery
Taste –  4/5 – really good but clearly not as good as it could have been
Sides – 4.5/5 – small knock for minced onion rings 
Value – 4/5 – a meal for five with two beers came to about £80 including service – which seemed quite a lot by our limited experience of Prague, and we were hit by the tax of a restaurant that doesn’t have a children’s menu. Still inexpensive relative to London, but our priciest meal in the Czech Republic to date

Burger rating – 4/5 – good, bordering on excellent.

The deets

It’s a short skip from the Charles Bridge, opposite the river from the bulk of the old town. There’s a lovely walk in to it from Malostranske tram stop, going past some lovely riverside view and the most delightful gingerbread shop you’ve ever seen. Highly recommend all of it.

Filthy Buns @ The Star of Kings, York Way, Kings Cross, London

Well formed but unbalanced burger

Burger source 

Kings Cross is a convenient place to meet with some of my oldest friends, but we’ve been to many of the stalwarts of the burger scene in the area. It was just our luck, then, that Filthy Buns, erstwhile of Dalston, has taken up residence in the Star of Kings on York Way. I wish there was more to their story than this, but it’s kind of joyous for what it is:

“Someone once said ‘You can’t call food filthy’ we wholeheartedly disagreed – Filthy Buns is all about grabbing the humble burger and turbo charging it to give your tastebuds a good smack in the chops.

Quality ingredients, banging flavours, freshly cooked and a funny name – what more do you need from a burger?…Ohhhh that bit of juice that runs down your hand when you eat it, well, we’ve got that covered too.”

The order 

I went for the ‘Smokin gun’ (Patty, swiss cheese, bacon, bbq sauce, miso mayo, crispy onions); friends tried le chunion and the sh*t cheese burger. We shared the ‘nugs’ (w/ BBQ sauce), a regular and a jerk-seasoned fries.

The meat of it 

There’s very little to fault here. A hot, toasted bun; perfect melt on the cheese, a generous portion of well cooked bacon, a healthy covering of BBQ sauce as advertised, and a delight of crispy onions for further umami and crunch. Does it taste as good as it looks?

Let’s look at it in cross section before we get to that. You can see the airy bun is soft and pliant, whilst holding its structural integrity against the heft of the burger/sauce combo. You can see a bright, warm flash of pink in the coarse ground, loose packed patty. Which is confusing, as on eating it – it feels like a smash patty, with crunch and bite… but also the tenderness from a more traditional patty. It’s a mindbender. You can probably see there’s too much sauce – we’ll come back to that – but otherwise there’s little to complain about. This is as advertised.

BUT THE TASTE, Armand, tell us of the taste! WAS IT RIGHTEOUS?

Well, no. Unexpectedly so. This is a burger that is curiously LESS than the sum of its parts. The bun was hot and fresh; the meat perfectly cooked, almost outrageously so. The bacon savoury and with good bite; the cheese unctuous and not overly salty against the weight of everything else. The crispy onions added crunch and my always-sought-after textural contrast.

But the BBQ sauce. The BBQ sauce is delicious, but it is massively overpoured. This means the whole burger is… tainted… with a saccharin sweetness that overwhelms anotherwise well balanced sandwich. Every bite just feels slightly off and whilst the individual components are fabulous – you are weirdly left longing for a bit sour pickle tang, or fresh lettuce crunch, or raw onion crisp – to temper the sweetness and rebalance the burger. The miso mayo might as well not be there. It’s such a shame – the components were so good, the balance was just missing.

As to sides…

Let’s start with the nugs; poor chicken/batter ratio (too much of the latter), slightly overcooked, slightly underseasoned. But crisp and juicy (when you got through to the meat) and well complemented, actually, by the self-same BBQ sauce in this instance.

The fries – regular and jerk – were outstanding. Crisp, fluffy, well seasoned, and full of flavour – they were fab with all the sauces, even the slightly underwhelming Katsu curry sauce I ordered as an experimental side.

Overall it was a great experience; the pub atmosphere is fab, service was brilliant, and the food and drinks were solid. But the burger needs to find the balance in the force for this to be really exceptional.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5 – hot, soft, well structured  
Build – 4/5 – too much sauce! 
Burger – 4/5 – it’s a good patty
Taste –  3.5/5 – the sauce I think undermined the whole  
Sides – 3.5/5 – the fries on their own would have been 5/5. The nugs brought the score down.   
Value – 3.5/5 – £13 for the burger; £5 for the fries; £8.50 for the nugs. Not bad but not amazing.  

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – I really wanted to love this. There was so much potential. I think I need to go back and try a Sh*t cheese burger at some point!

The deets 

The Star of Kings is just a 7 minute walk from Kings X station, North and slightly East. I really like the buzz of Coal Drops Yard and that campus around Kings X; which does extend across York Way into this trendy, vibrant pub. That they were playing Blur music the whole time we were there was a bizarre and nostalgic bonus. Find out more about them here.

Honest Burgers: reprise, guest review

My nephew Milo was very keen to contribute a guest review, and I’m so honoured to have provided an inspiration (of sorts) to the lad. Here it is, largely unedited. He has talent!

**

Beautifully crafted patties with caramelized onions in the afternoon sun

I’m honoured to be a guest writer on Burger Source

My first impression of Honest Burgers was: “Now this, this really is a burger place.” As I strolled through the door, the scent of freshly toasted buns wafted through the door. The menu was relatively simple. Chicken options, Beef options, and vegan options (if you like that kind of stuff). 

Once the burger arrived I had to look at the cross section. The exquisitely layered patty, cheese bubbling down the fresh bacon, and to top off this vision of perfection, caramelized onions steaming. Here it is.

And the burger before I sliced it in two.

 
Bun – 4/5 – slightly too soft for me, some of the juices leaked through
Build – 5/5 – can’t complain about anything
Burger – 4/5 – couldn’t taste the cheese as there were too many onions
Taste – 4/5 – a bit too sweet for my liking (Though undoubtedly from the caramelized onions)
Sides – 5/5 – both the onion rings and the rosemary fries were fantastic 

**

I think we can all agree this was a stunning first review! With any luck, Milo will be back for more in the future.

Saucy B*stards at the Newman Arms, Fitzrovia, London

Delightfully messy double smashburger

Burger source

You might call it mindlessly doomscrolling top-10-burger lists, I call it RESEARCH and I do it in the name of science and the thousand or so people a month who seem to enjoy these burger reviews. You’re all very, very welcome.

Anyway, 15 clickbaity lists of burgers later, I finally find a burger that meets my criteria of being not-in-Hackney-and-therefore-convenient-for-a-midweek-meet-up-with-a-mate (honestly, Hackney seems to be some kind of burger utopia judging by these lists), and also sounding fab. I give you, Saucy Bastards at the Newman Arms, a few minutes from Tottenham Court Road station in the most central of central London spots.

They promise dry aged burgers, snacks, sauces & more sauces, courtesy of a Michelin trained chef, and guarantee a messy shirt at the end of it. Did they deliver? Did they ever.

The order

The burger part of the menu is relatively simple. There’s a choice of a double smash burger (the saucy bastard), a crispy chicken burger (the cocky bastard) and a veggie burger… called… no, you got it. That’s it. Naturally I went for the saucy bastard with extra bacon.

Because we were feeling indulgent, we also went with a “small plate” of Korean fried chicken, and the off-print but on-digital menu of jalapeño poppers. For fries, we shared a “salted” fries and a Cajun fries. Yes, we got too much food for two people, but again – in the NAME OF SCIENCE.

The meat of it

Let’s start with the burger.

This is pretty neat. Hot, soft bun; precisely smashed burger patties with amazing crunchy, crenellated edges – a bit like a sort of Slartibartfast had really put his Magarathean magic to work in designing fjord-esque edges in the smash process. The cheese is perfectly melted – and you can probably just about make out the slather of burger sauce and the hefty chunks of pickle in there. Let’s take in the cross section.

Channeling my best Nessa, I think I’d characterise this as ‘tidy’. It’s perfectly stacked – burger sauce, pickles, patties, cheese melt, and a wide layer of crisp bacon before you hit the top bun. You can see how thin and wide those patties have been smashed. The drizzle of grease and burger sauce also promises flavour… does it deliver?

First bite… crunch – beautifully crisp, well seasoned patty, with a delightful dry-aged funk. Double crunch from the crisp, salty, generous bacon topping, adding even more umami. Soft, open crumbed bread just about holds it together. Thick, sweet pickle cuts the savoury contrast down, and smooth vinegary, luscious burger sauce binds and moisturises. Is this a burger or a beauty product, you might ask? If beauty products were anything like this, I’d spend a lot more time wearing a face mask, that’s for sure. As it is, I have terrible skin but an amazingly refined burger palate.

In short; it’s hard not to want to inhale this burger. Every bite leaves you wanting more until you’re uncomfortably full. It’s perfectly formed – with an amazing flavour profile, incredibly high quality ingredients, and does indeed deliver on the promise of mess. Highly recommended.

As to the sides…

To each in turn.

  • The fries – well seasoned, but unevenly cooked, these were a bit disappointing. My friend Matt had the Cajun fries, where were more uniformly crisp on the outside, squidgy on the inside, whereas some of these were, in fact, soggy. The Cajun seasoning didn’t add much flavour but they were a better portion.
  • The poppers come in a light, sort of tempura batter, with a lovely goo from the cheese and a light pop of spice from the mild pepper. The sweet chilli added a good flavour contrast. But there were a lot of these; probably share between four, especially if you’re having another side.
  • The Korean wings were a little disappointing. They were over fried, so whilst the coating had a delightful crunch, the meat was dry and the sauce didn’t compensate – it was slightly saccharine in sweetness and underspiced for heat, IMO, though I’m hardly an expert in the ways of Korean fried chicken.
  • We had a ‘flight’ of sauces for £4. The jalepeno relish was more sweetness, and the ‘Hot Seoul Sauce’ was again too sugary, but with an unexpectedly bitter soy sauce edge. The ranch was the best of the three, smooth and luscious, would have again.

Overall, this was a great experience. The pub had a fab vibe and it felt like quite a nice take on a traditional boozer, freshened for the 21st century. Good selection of drinks on tap downstairs, QR code table service for the food from a resident burger artiste upstairs, very nice. Can recommend.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  4.5/5 – occasionally gave way to the heft of grease and sauce but otherwise aces
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste –  4.5/5 – just a smidge too much seasoning for me
Sides – 3/5 – burgers are better than their sides, though the sides are decent 

Value – 4/5 – £30 for burger and sides; would have been more reasonable if we’d ordered a more reasonable amount of food, but we (inevitably) got carried away.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – would go back tomorrow. Night. When I’m less full.

The deets

You can find them on Rathbone Street or in Islington, as well as on Deliveroo. Deets here. Recommend.

The Brush Grand Cafe, Great Eastern Street, Hoxton

Superbly crafted burger in trendy environs

Burger source

The Art’otel Hoxton is home to the Brush Grand Cafe; an independent (I think) hotel chain featuring local art (hence the name, clever that). QW The venue makes for a highly stylised culinary experience, and the eye catching art on the walls, the brilliantly trendy (yet still practical) low-lighting and the early evening buzz on a chill January Tuesday made for a fabulous place to catch up with an old friend. She had the schnitzel, but I saw the eponymous Brush Burger on the menu so… you know where this is going. Let’s be honest, you knew where this was going before you got this far in but… allow me my indulgences.

The culinary vibes they are going for… well, it’s a European focussed dining concept, darling, so you know it’s fancy. But it’s also reasonably priced and the service was excellent, so go for a good time. But let’s get into it.

The order

The Brush Burger features bacon, cheddar cheese, bone marrow relish, and not just fries – but Frites – all for £20. I had a ginger ale on the side.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

That’s pretty attractive. Toasted brioche, uber melty cheese, crispy yet still pliant bacon, the beige bone marrow relish peeking out the sides, and the bright, fresh looking salad protecting the lower bun. It’s all warm and smells fabulous, stacked perfectly as it is.

A closer look…

Cheese – confirmed – perfectly melted. Bun confirmed – well toasted, but soft and with an excellent open crumb. Bottom bun holding up against the heft of what is probably a 6oz patty. Good distribution of bacon, cheese, salad and relish. And – and I’ve been saving this for last – look at that coarse ground, loose packed, perfectly medium beef? This is glorious. Somehow the burger also doesn’t ooze fat, despite – I’m certain – being well proportioned on the lean/fat front.

First bite… instant umami. There’s a good crust on the patty, perfectly seasoned, and tasty without being funky in the way dry-aged beef sometimes can be (I’m assuming that’s what this was). The cheese adds further salt and binds, unguently (I know it’s not a word but it should be), the bacon adds crunch and more wonderful flavour. The bun and lettuce, together with a mild mustard heat in the bone marrow relish, provide counterpoint to the mountain of savoury; though it’s far from a sweet brioche. The balance is just right if perhaps a fraction heavy on the umami:sweet ratio, but really – there’s very little to fault. The burger is also a decent size, and leaves me feeling happily full, particularly after the…

Yes, the Frites. They are oddly unevenly cut for frites (one – yes one, darling – expects a uniform slenderness to these), though that’s hardly something to complain about. Though they did seem to also be slightly soft, and slightly under-seasoned. Add the inexplicable dusting of green powder (parsley? For art?) and the flavour sensation doesn’t live up to the – admittedly concise – billing. Longer, hotter fry (or a second fry), more seasoning, less green cr*p and this would have been 5/5. It wasn’t quite up to the burger, sadly.

Overall, though, the experience was superb. Great service, a nice place for a drink, a decent wine and cocktail menu from the bar, brilliant art and decor – there’s a lot to love.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste –  5/5
Sides – 3.5/5 – I was not whelmed 
Value – 4.5/5 – £30 for burger, drink, frites and service is reasonable for this sort of place.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – will recommend in good conscience.

The deets

It’s a hop, skip and jump away from Old Street station, right across from the Star of Shoreditch. You can’t miss it. Not sure if the cafes at the other Art’otels are as nice, but you can find (and dine) them all here.

Mother Flipper, Seven Dials, Covent Garden

Excellent meat, middling to good toppings

Burger source 

Mother Flipper is on so many best burger lists, for so many good reasons it was exciting to check it out. The Seven Dials website (where the street food burger has a permanent residency) describes it thusly:

Brace yourself for thick, juicy patties, handcrafted from a blend of 28-day aged cuts, grilled to perfection, and topped with flavours of your choice. Slap that patty on a decadent brioche bun, then stack it high with lettuce, pickles, and onions. In the kingdom of London burgers, many declare that Mother Flipper wear the crown.

Let’s GO.

The order 

I had the ‘Candied Bacon Flipper’, feat their aged beef patty, candy bacon, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, red onion, pickle and american cheese. We shared a fries, at £4.95 for a health portion, as well as a ranch and spicy mayo sauce pot for dunkin’.

#YOLO?

I’m too old to know if I used that right. Tell me in the comments.

The meat of it 

Right, it’s decent presentation. Pretty stack, lovely glossy brioche, crisp looking fries, generous sauce pots… It’s on.

Time for a cross section:

It was quite dark in the (very busy) seven dials, so flash was required… but wow, look what it showed. Brilliant, coarse ground beef, cooked medium. Perfect melt on the cheese. The candied bacon (check out their Insta/Facebook pages to see how they make it, drizzling it in syrup and leaving it to caramelise) generously portioned on top. The salad looks a little on the anaemic side, other than some healthy chunks of red onion, but it’s a lesser fault.

First taste.

The bun is cold. I don’t know why this offends me so much, and to be fair this might be down to the fact that – due to the crazy-busy-ness of Seven Dials market of a Tuesday evening (who ARE all these people?), we were sat about 150 yards from Mother Flipper when our buzzer went off indicating food readiness – so my plodding schlep there and back might have cooled it down, but nonetheless. It was disappointing. But – crazy amounts of flavour, alongside the back-of-your nose, back of your throat hit from the dry-aged beef. The meat is delicious, heavily seasoned, well coated in the melty cheese, and well supported by the (intemperate) bun.

Second bite, and third, and the candied bacon and brioche, alongside the (meagre) ketchup portion provide a counterpoint to the salt bomb that this burger is, but not quite enough of one – chef went just a tad heavy with the salt shaker. The pickles and sauce are decent but could be more generously portioned – and I’d have liked more salad and onion too, just to balance the ratio of sweet, fresh, crisp, vs unguent, savoury umami. Just a tad off balance as it was made onight.

As to the fries… and the SAUCE.

These are lightly seasoned (would have liked some salt on the side to top them up, ironically), crisp, fresh fries. They had a good potato flavour and were brilliant dunked in the lightly spiced mayo (think mayo + a glug of sriracha) and the creamy ranch. The ranch was good but… needed fried chicken, really, it wasn’t the best compliment to the fries on its own.

Overall, a really good experience. Imperfect, but just a few minor notes and this could have been close to [chef’s kiss].

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  – did I mention it was cold?
Build – 5/5 – more salad. More sauce!
Burger – 4/5 – less salt! 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 – more salt!   
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, ish. Which is about the going rate.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would definitely be keen to go again. 

The deets 

Find Mother Flipper at Seven Dials near Covent Garden, or in Brockley. More details here.

Jensens Bøfhus, Holstebro, Jutland

Very credible burger, but room for polish

Burger source 

Again, family holiday and needs must led us to Jensens after a morning’s shopping and exploring the local park in Holstebro, a town that my wife’s family have spent a lot of time in over the years. A bit of research tells me of its origins in the 80s, initially in Aarhus, then moving over to Holstebro and beyond. First as a restaurant, then a Scandinavian chain of restaurants and a butcher/kitchen producing meat-based ready meals for these here parts. Part of me was fearful we’d walked into the Danish equivalent of Aberdeen Angus Steakhouses (the prices certainly would reflect that), but it felt more Miller & Carter in the end, which is for the best. Anyway, broader translated backstory here if you want it!

The order 

I had a ‘beast burger’ – beef patty on a brioche bun with bacon, chipotle mayo, cheddar, BBQ sauce, salad, onion chutney and crispy onion rings. It was served with crispy fries and pot of mayo, and a good amount of lettuce too. The ‘special’ priced it at 149DKK (normally 199DK). In pounds, that’s £17 (down from about £22), so it’s pricey but not absurd, even by the standards of expensive Denmark.

The meat of it 

Presentation, uneven stack and absurd height of onion ring tower notwithstanding, is not bad. The fries look crisp and fresh (as advertised), the cheese has a brilliant melt on it, there’s generous amounts of crisp streaky bacon protruding, the salad is bright and fresh, the bun is toasted (on both sides – bit much), and the burger looks like it had a good sear.

Cross section…

There’s a coarse grind, and the lightest shade of pink (promised in the menu – Izzy’s kids burger is a more promising pink). The chipotle mayo oozes out, as does the generous onion relish and BBQ sauce. The bun is overtoasted – it crunches as I half the burger for the picture – and it’s hard, due to the uneven stack, to get a clean 50/50 split. I do the best I can and make a bit of a mess of it.

First taste… discounting for the slight crunch on the brioche (which you want to be soft!), the stack is surprisingly well balanced on first bite. There’s salty crunch from the bacon and light heat from the chipotle mayo. There’s tender bite from the meat which is still juicy and melt-in-your-mouth more-ish (although better if pinker). The sweet relish counters the salt – perhaps too much, if I’m being critical. Textures are spot on, flavours are – almost – in balance – there’s a lot to like. But – again – with the eye of a critic – the patty itself is under seasoned and the bun is too large for the meat, leaving to bready mouthfuls on your way through the burger. It’s good, but small corrections – bit more salt on the meat, bit less toast on the bun, bit more width to the patty, bit more even in the stacking – would have made this really excellent.

Which the fries were. Generous both in portion and in seasoning, a dusting of salt and paprika infused every bite with smoky, salty crunch. They were perfectly cooked with a soft centre despite the French fry cut. Dipped in ketchup or mayo – utter perfection. Although I couldn’t finish them – no cheffy portions in an artisan tin cup here, just as many as would fit on the plate – which is more than would fit in my belly!

I’d go back. It was a good experience. Service was excellent and kids’ portions were generous, food quality was high. Recommend!

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  – overtoasted and oversized but good integrity
Build – 2/5 – not evenly assembled at all 
Burger – 4/5 – tasty but underseasoned and marginally overcooked
Taste –  4/5 – over  
Sides – 5/5 – the fries were amazing
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, ish, seems decent for restaraunt food in DK  

Burger rating – 4/5 – really good experience 

The deets 

Find your local branch – if you’re visiting Scandinavia – here!

Sunset Boulevard, Viborg, Denmark

A higher grade of fast food burger

Burger source 

Honestly, we got to Viborg late after a busy day at Legoland, it’s ‘low’ season so most things were closed, I needed to get the kids fed and it was open and didn’t tax my very limited Danish too much. However… Wikipedia Denmark tells me that it was founded in 1996, is owned by the same people who own the Pizza Hut franchise here… and they its outcompeted Subway to have 40 branches across Denmark, the Faroe Islands and Greenland. So it is at least somewhat authentically Danish… in tribute to American burgers.

The order 

I had the ‘brioche bacon burn’ meal, which came with fries, limitless soft drink and the burger itself – featuring chipotle mayo, a beef patty and ‘pepper bacon’ along with the eponymous brioche bun. It featured a ‘one pepper’ rating, in the style of these things.

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look. No cross section, it’s a fast food burger.

You know, it looked OK? Brioche bun shiny, streaky crispy bacon crispy, lettuce bright and fresh, a good amount of the chipotle mayo, hot and fresh to the table.

First taste… the bun is soft but sturdy, indiscernible sweetness. Good. The burger is probably more reminiscent of a BK patty than a McD’s, in that it is more convincingly beef; it’s well seasoned and the creamy chipotle mayo adds the necessary moisture given the burger’s quality (good for fast food, not good by the standards I typically review). The lettuce is fresh and bright but the pickles are disappointing – especially in a country that is famed for them. Just slightly insipid and bland. There’s a peppery kick (black pepper, not hot pepper), but it’s mild – not unpleasant. The bacon adds bright, salty crunch to every mouthful – textural contrast plus umami, I’m delighted with this, at least! The balance is good – and it’s filling for fast food fayre. All in all, a good burger, up there with the best fast food has to offer, if a little heavy perhaps on the seasoning.

The fries are also heavily seasoned. Salt, pepper and rosemary. The are crisp on the outside, skin on fries, and unlike McD’s varietals, actually have the soft, fluffy warmth of real potato in the centre. They are lush although overpowering after a while – not even roast lamb wants that much rosemary.

Monkey finger rating   – modified to suit fast food

Bun –  4/5/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 3.5/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 – deducation for just too much rosemary   
Value – 4/5 – I honestly have no idea though. £53 for four people would be dollar as hell in a fast food joint in the UK. But everything in Denmark costs a million, so…  

Burger rating – 4/5 – I’d have this over any UK fast food chain on offer. Especially given the puns.

The deets 

Find one of your nearest in DK (or Greenland, or the Faroe Islands) here