Category: Outside London

My Burger Lab, Sea Park, Petaling Jaya, Malaysia

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A tasty mess

Burger source 

MyBurgerLab is Malaysia’s answer to the world’s gourmet / elite fast food burger renaissance. Their inspiration is an eclectic mix of the fast food elite (Shake Shack, In & Out) and high street gourmet (GBK), but their mission is to make the world a happier place, one burger at a time – which is a purpose that is both honest and commercial in a way I can respect.

They say this about their priorities:

We don’t spend our money on décor or on advertisements. But we’ll splurge on food. Our charcoal buns are baked from scratch in our own bakery daily. It’s the only way to get that perfect combination of crisp crust and melt-in-your-mouth, fresh-from-the-oven taste. We grind our own beef patties daily and hand-pack them just so they retain their freshness and juiciness. In fact, our patties are still beautifully pink right before they hit the griddle.

I think they mean – after they come off the griddle. As I’m not sure what colour they’re meant to be when they hit it if not reddy-pink!

The order 

The elder kids had the Purist (Pure beefy, cheesy goodness. Angus Cheeseburger, Signature Ketchup, Grilled Onions, Pickled Cucumber) – of course, being kids, they opted out of onion, cheese and pickles. Sigh – am I failing as a parent? Zoe’s ‘Kiddy Beef’ featured beef, ketchup… and she opted out of the lettuce (on the side) and mayo.

Amanda went for the ‘Macik can’ (“Aunty can”, featuring Fried Chicken Thigh, Shredded Lettuce, Tangy Mayo, Spiced Lime on the side), and I had the ‘Lab burger’ – Angus Cheeseburger, Smoky Tomato Sauce, Shredded Lettuce, Pickles, Grilled Onions, Signature Burger Sauce. I was sold this as one of their most representative baseline burgers and I was excited.

After all, both Gemini (thx, AI) and Dad’s cousin Rohan had recommended this place. It was going to be good if both algorithms and Rohan’s impeccable judgement were aligned.

The meat of it 

It looks alright, you know. The charcoal bun is a mystery to me but it looks both soft and well made. The cheese crisp from where the overmelt has fried up on the griddle looks extremely inviting. The melt elsewhere is good. The fries look golden brown and creatively seasoned. There’s a tub of something that looks like firecracker sauce on the side. The bottomless soft drink is my trademark mixture of orange juice (well, Minute Maid) and lemonade (well, Sprite). There’s even a side of chicken nuggets that my eyes made me order.

In cross section?

The cross section is promising. The bun yields pleasingly to the floppy plastic knife; showing off a perfect even grain in the charcoal bun. The pink of the home-ground patty reveals itself, perfectly cooked – there’s an excellent sear to cut through to get to the tender middle. The superb melt on the cheese is complimented by the pickles, the grilled onions, and the copious burger sauce. Let’s gooooo…

First bite… does not disappoint. The bun is soft and gives way pleasingly; though the underside is sodden in burger juice and sauce and slips away. I’m largely uncomplaining, however, as my taste buds make contact… the beef has fabulous Maillard induced crunch; supplemented with the umami-crisp of the cheese and the sweet sour tang of the burger sauce and the pickle. The onions are sublimed, their caramelised texture melting into a flavour melange, which is both lovely – the flavours complement beautifully – and a shame, as they could have added a crunchy contrast. The sweetness of the sauce, the unguence of the cheese – add to a fairly excellent overall package.

However, to add to my – minor – critiques, a layer of lettuce would have protected the bottom half of the bun from collapse – a shame it vanished so completely under the onslaught of burger grease and burger sauce alike. So; better stack, better bun protection, better texture contrast – are my three minor notes.

On the sides… the fries are excellent; crisp on the outside and fluffy in the middle. Brilliant dunked in both ketchup and the firecracker sauce. The paprika and assorted herbs add more aesthetic than they do substance, but they put the kids off – so that’s worth being aware of.

The nugs? Largely inoffensive. Real chicken, well seasoned, and crisp, but the soft pliant sloppy chicken of McD’s nugs, not the textured pull of a tender, and nothing unusual or creative in its delivery.

On the others; Amanda’s burger was too soggy. The kids had a layer of mayo unnecessarily smeared on them, side on, which caused brief dismay. Zoe’s had both mayo and onions, one we requested not to have, the other not even part of the billing. And 2/3 kids were unimpressed by the generous seasoning on the fries. So slightly disappointing elsewhere.

The bottomless soft drinks are a nice touch, though.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5 
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4.5/5 – one of the best I’ve ever had in Malaysia 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 – fries – fab. Nugs – meh.   
Value – 5/5 – RM30 for a quality burger, fries and bottomless soft drink may seem punchy, unless you reflect that a Big Mac Meal goes for about RM20. So actually –  this isn’t just good value for a tourist, it’s a good deal by local standards too. IMHO and limited experience.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – I think this is my best Malaysian burger so far.

The deets 

We went to the one Sea Park, but there are other branches in Bangsar, Sunway etc. Check the website for more.

Chapman’s Bar, Pangkor Laut Resort, Malaysia

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Very well balanced 

Burger source 

Pangkor Laut Resort is the only resort on the tiny island of Pangkor Laut – a small island somewhat to the South of Pangkor proper. It has about five restaraunts and this was from one of them – Chapman’s Bar, named for a British colonel who escaped the war in a submarine from Emerald Bay – the secluded spot where the bar is situated.

It’s visually stunning as a place to eat – but HOW, I hear you ask, was the burger? Surely the most important criteria for planning beach holidays and family escapes…

The order 

The burger – served with onion rings and medium cut fries – was served on a toasted, seeded bun with onion chutney, fresh tomato and lettuce, I think melted cheese, and a hand made burger patty. It was – surprisingly – offered to me medium or well done. Having not lived in Malaysia since 1993, and not having had great experiences of the burger scene here since the burger renaissance started in the 2000s, my expectations were for a slightly charred puck of beef regardless…

[Sidebar – I really hope that the burger renaissance achieves some form of prominence in the years to come, as a formal period in culinary history. I suspect not, but if it does – I will be proud if I make up part of the historical record with this humble offering]

The meat of it 

OK on the aesthetic – first impressions are good. The fries are golden, as advertised. The onion rings – only 2 were provided, the rest were gifted by my kids who don’t like onion – well, they were dry despite the golden batter, speaking of a good deep-frying process that doesn’t leave pooled grease in every crevice in the batter.

The burger itself is well stacked, salad underpinning the beef, itself topped with cheese and chutney – and there is a good char on both the inside of the buns and the meat. The salad itself looks bright and fresh, with condensation beading on the fridge fresh tomato (a think at equatorial climes). As to what happens in cross section…

 

I’m blown away. Whilst the meat is quite densely packed and quite finely ground, it is cooked, as promised, to a perfect medium. The bun, disappointingly, whilst beautifully charred on the inside, is cold to touch and just slightly the wrong ratio for what felt like a 5oz patty – too much bread to burger. This wasn’t disastrous but diluted the flavour with each bite somewhat.

Speaking of which… first bite… brilliant, crunchy char on the meat, which is well seasoned. The burger is juicy and tender; the onion chutney adding sweetness and a nice bit of textural contrast. The tomato is sweet too, not just watering things down as tomato slices can do but actually adding complementary favour – very unexpected. The cheese – is a non entity – a thin slice of processed cheese is lost, in every sense of the word – you can neither see, nor feel, nor taste it. The bread is fresh enough but just too bready. So whilst it is in many ways a very well balanced burger, it is the bread that throws it off somewhat. Still – really good by every objective measure. The kids – the two of them that also had the burger – also loved it (in their salad-free, well done incarnations – heathens, and something I will work through with them in the fullness of time).

As to the sides?

The fries were more or less as you’d hope – crisp on the outside, fluffy on the inside, lovely on their own or dunked in ketchup or mayo. Very slightly light on the salt, perhaps, but very much in judgement call territory.

The onion rings were a bit odd – the onions were neither crisp and fresh nor squidgy and over fried, nor any texture in between. I suspect they were slightly old onions which didn’t cope well with the process. They were OK though, other than the slightly odd texture of the onions – the batter was crisp and light – if again, slightly underseasoned. Decent dunked.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5  

Value – n/a. Everything here is expensive but also part of the inclusive ‘residents’ packages if you book semi-all inclusive so… it’s part of the experience  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would recommend to any visitors to the island. 

The deets 

Pangkor Laut is a 15 minute boat ride from Marina Island Jetty, a 3 hour drive from KL. Chapman’s Bar is a pleasant <10 minute golf buggy ride from the main resort, facing into the beautiful swimming beach that is Emerald Bay.

The Globe, Alresford, Hampshire

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Succulent, oversized, unwieldy delight

Burger source

My youngest daughter had an excursion on the Watercress Line with Brownies so I went in search of a place to eat, read, work for a bit whilst waiting for her return, and the well-reviewed Globe Pub, tucked slightly off the high street, promised relative calm, had good reviews and free WiFi, and it turned out… had a burger on the menu. Call it fate or call it good fortune, either way… I’ll take it.

The order

It’s literally just called ‘the burger’, but features quite a lot; wagyu beef patties, smoked bacon, Monterey Jack cheese and burger sauce, served with fries and a tiny pot of celeriac remoulade.

The meat of it

This is a behemoth. Towering, entirely out of proportion with itself, in addition to the advertised ingredients I can also see lettuce, a slice of tomato and chunky gherkins in abundance. The bun seems a token gesture next to what look like two five ounce patties, covered with a generous coating of Jack, and the whole thing seems to need the skewer to hold it in place.

In cross section…

The patties seem beautifully cooked, a brilliant shade of pink. They are tender; the bun, toasted on both sides, seems to hold up well. The structural integrity seems to hold up, against all odds.

First bite… and structural integrity collapses, the burgers sliding off each other and the salad, all of it slopping messily onto the plate. But the taste… is good. Whilst the patty has no char, it is tender and melts in your mouth. There’s no hint of dry-aged funk, this tastes like literally fresh meat, ground coarsely, and lovingly but loosely packed into a patty. The slight under seasoning is somewhat compensated for by the tasty cheese; the salad adds brightness and there’s a sweet and sour hit from the pickle. It’s good…

On further eating – now with cutlery on a disassembled burger – the bun continues to hold up, providing starchy counterbalance to the melange of flavours; the slick, sweet and savoury burger sauce provides moisture, the smoked bacon an occasional umami explosion and crunch, helping the unguent cheese to compensate for the burgers slight under-seasoning. The fact both patties are covered in Jack, and the buns have a generous amount of burger sauce across them, means even somewhat deconstructed – every mouthful of the burger is reasonably well balanced. It’s a nice experience… though I do have notes – specifically 1/ char the patties like you mean it! 2/ go heavier on the seasoning 3/ one 6-8oz patty would have done better for this style of burger than 2x 4-5 oz ones – you only ever want a double patty with a smash burger, IMHO – 4/ reconsider your bun/burger pairing and 5/ invest a bit more in the pickles too – make them yourselves, in a lighter brine, and slice them thinner.

On the sides… the fries were… fine. Well seasoned, crispy, but thin cut frozen chip variety. Nothing to write home about but perfectly pleasant dumped in either ketchup and mayo.

The celeriac slaw… was sour, sweet, savoury and crunchy all in one. It has a pickled undertone, possibly from a generous portion of capers that were in the tiny pot with the rest of them. It was interesting… but not something I’d rush back for.

The service… was outstanding. I was warmly welcomed without a booking, given a table, had my order taken within minutes, and repeatedly checked on with warmth and grace. The locals were full of warmth of good humour, there were good Christmas tunes on… all in all, it’s a lovely pub.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  3.5/5
Build – 3/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 3/5 – 
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and side, ish.

Burger rating – 4/5 – actually more than the sum of its parts, this one. Would recommend.

The deets

Find the 15th Century Pub as you drive into Alresford, or via its website here.

Tender Cow, Mackie Mayor, Manchester

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Small, salty, but otherwise spot-on burger

Burger source

We were visiting one of Amanda’s closest friends in Manchester over the ‘twixmas period and she was keen to take us to Mackie Mayor, a food court in a Victorian market hall in central Manchester, for the atmosphere and variety. The variety included ‘Tender Cow’, a beef specialist steak place focussing on obscure cuts. But they had a burger on the menu, so my choices were made for me.

Tender Cow’s mission is an interesting one and not one I’ve heard before. The burger didn’t promise to be made of a blend of anything in particular but it looked and sounded simple but fantastic so I was excited…

Here’s how they describe their ambition:

Our aim is to offer the lesser-known cuts of beef from some of the best producers and farms in Britain. Very rarely, unless its a very special piece of meat, will you see cuts such as sirloin, rib-eye or fillet on our menus. Instead we go for the less heard of and sometimes newly discovered cuts of steak. Flat iron, from the feather blade, is our steak of choice but this will be joined on our menu by cuts such as sirloin pave, spider steak, hanger steak and Jacobs steak.

The order

On the menu it’s simply billed as the ‘Mackie cheeseburger and chips’, at £15. I think the description promised burger sauce, onions and pickles too. There wasn’t much else to it! Zoe (9) joined me for a burger (minus pickles and burger sauce), whilst Emily went for Ramen, Amanda, Izzy and Nicky went for pizza from the exciting looking sourdough pizza place.

The meat of it

As you can see – it presents well. Brilliant melt on the cheese, and intriguing peppery texture to the burger sauce, a shiny toasted bun that’s still soft to touch, and a good char on the burger you could see. The pickles – home made pickled cucumber from the look of things – looked promising.

In cross section:

There’s a pinkness to the meat, which promises tenderness and juiciness, which is a little surprising as the patty is so thin. It looks like a 4oz total – closer to generous smash burger territory than the full heft of a gourmet-style burger patty. But clearly it’s been cooked well. There’s no unnecessary grease, and the stack holds together post cross section.

Time for the first taste. The umami hits – salty beef, salty cheese, neutral bun, and even a bit more savoury flavour from the burger sauce. It needed more sweetness – which does come in small, bright moments from the crisp, sweet and sour cucumber pickle slices and the bright, fresh sparks of onion. But the balance is off; the savoury overwhelms slightly and I found myself applying small amounts of ketchup to take the edge off.

The meat, however, is clearly high grade, and is the perfect texture. A light crunch on the sear, and soft, delicious and tender throughout. Coarse ground, loose packed but well enough to hold structural integrity despite its slender construction. The balance of most of the burger – between the sturdy but pliant roll, the lovely pickle, the melty cheese – binds beautifully. I’d have preferred a little more beef – 1-2oz more would have made all the difference – in managing the ratios here. But there was little otherwise to complain about.

As to the fries…

These are rustic, hand-cut, skin-on chips, that look like they’ve been double fried. Like the burger, they went a bit heavy on the salt seasoning them but don’t think they got the second fry quite to temp – a good proportion of the fries are a little floppy. But there’s good potato flavour and – when you get a properly cooked one – it’s a lovely crunch. Really enjoyable.

A good balance on the whole, and very cosy in the bright, airy, unrushed halls of Mackie Mayor – unlike somewhere like Seven Dials in London, there weren’t people hovering over the table waiting for you to leave, the staff were attentive and quick to help clear tables, and the prices were more reasonable (though I still flinch slightly at the inflationary impact, post Covid/the Ukraine war).

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5
Build – 5/5
Burger – 4/5 – point deducted for salt and size
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 4/5 – soggy fries penalty 
Value – 4/5 – £15 for burger and side

Burger rating – 4/5 – lovely.

The deets

If you know, you know, but for visitors to Manchester – it’s a few minutes from Manchester Victoria, or five minutes from Exchange Square or Sudehill tram stops. More here.

Queens Head, Bradfield Southend, Berkshire

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Messy, sumptuous smash-beast

Burger source 

The Queen’s Head is a rural pub in the Berkshire countryside; not far from Reading and the M4 but sufficiently far away from it all that it feels like the middle of nowhere. The pub was described to me as ‘excessively dog friendly’ and, as Harley was joining us this evening, that was really the key criterion we were weighing up to eat here. As it happens, under new management since the Summer, the pub is clearly making an effort to build a reputation around its cuisine, billing itself as a pub/brasserie, and shifting between different seasonal menus throughout the year. The burgers, though, I think are staples.

The order 

I got greedy and ordered the XL Smashburger – three thinnish patties, smashed and crisped on a hot grill, “cloaked” with melted cheese and caramelised onions and burger sauce.

The meat of it 

The presentation is… slightly underwhelming, if I’m being critical. The burger is sat in a pool of cheese sauce and burger sauce, though the bun looks decent. The fries are well fried and seasoned, but the portion is modest. A little side salad would have brightened the plating somewhat, and a bit more restraint on the toppings might have made it more – as the kids like to say – aesthetic.

The side profile shows the mess in all its glory. I think the bright yellow is an American cheese, the light yellow a cheddar, and the burger sauce and caramelised onions are mixed up all in there.

Let’s look in cross section, then get into it.

The patties are well formed and the stack is well made, for all that the greed of the third burger meant the bun really didn’t hold up to it and the surplus of sauce and cheese made this unhandleable – this is a burger that had to be eaten with cutlery. The char of the smash is very evident and adds a nice aroma to the burger. I’m excited.

First bite (and all subsequent bites) are cutlery assisted. The patties are well seasoned and tasty, if made up of what feels like a fairly conventional meat blend, and cooked in a conventional way. I sensed no dry aged meat, nor a mustard fry on the patty at work here. The burger sauce is sweet and savoury, but balances the salt-fest of the meat well, and the onions merge very well with the charred beef. The bun acts as a necessary stodgy contrast to the savoury mountain within, but doesn’t hold up terribly well against the onslaught of meat, grease and cheese. The combination of flavours works well – the burger is moist, the sweet and salty notes are well balanced, there’s a light crunch and char to the patty which adds a little textural contrast… it works well as a package.

The fries are topped with salt and something that looks like pepper but brings no noticeable flavour. They are perfectly crisp and well seasoned and perfect for dunking in mayo and ketchup. Whilst the core fries are – I suspect – frozen from a wholesaler – there’s little to complain about.

I did have a pudding (sorry, no picture) – a modest portion of sticky toffee pudding, served with ice cream. This was delicious, though if I’m being brutal the ice cream could have been lighter and the caramel sauce more generous. But excellent flavour combination, well made sauce, chewy dates in and amongst the light fluffy sponge of the pudding, with a swirl of light, sweet caramel sauce – yum.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5 – nice but not up to the challenge  
Build – 4/5 – sauce and cheese overdone 
Burger – 4.5/5 – very little to complain about with the patties 
Taste –  4.5/5 – for all that it was messy to eat, it tasted delicious 
Sides – 4/5 – more fries, more caramel sauce and it would have been faultless  
Value – 4/5 – £24 for burger and pudding and service, ish.  And there are more modest double patty burgers which are a few quid cheaper.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – despite the mess and the compromises on the build, it really is delicious and I would have it again… but ask them to go easy on the sauce/cheese a bit next time! 

The deets 

I’m afraid the pub’s ‘website’ is a Facebook page – hopefully you can still find all the details here. 

Bunsen’s, Botanic Avenue, Belfast

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All the good things, none of the bad

Burger source 

I’m in Belfast with some fabulous colleagues, to see some other fabulous colleagues, and so I do the only thing humanly possible to do when you come off a horrifically crowded flight – Google burger restaurants near your hotel so you can catch an early supper and some zzzs before a busy day ahead. Bunsen’s scored well in a variety of reviews, and the concierge at the hotel immediately confirmed that it was “class.” Checking out the website, everything about the method and ideology behind the burger concept is a thing of beauty – minimal complexity, maximum quality, thoughtfulness behind each element, from the choice of bun through to the choice of pickle and beyond.

The order 

The menu is reminiscent of In & Out, the options are so limited – and that is, as it is at In & Out, an absolute virtue. Beefburger, cheeseburger, add bacon, mess with the toppings (if you dare), double up, and have your choice of shoestring, hand cut or sweet potato fries. It’s printed beautifully on a business card, and I’m told that a local has been collecting the cards and using Bunsen’s price rises as a mechanism for tracking inflation, which puts a rather bougie spin on the Big Mac Index. Think about that, The Economist! Here it is, in all it’s elegant graphic design glory. Passes any vibe check.

I went for the cheese & bacon burger (single) with all their recommend toppings (bottomings) and the shoestring (read: slightly skinny) French fries, with a Sprite Zero on the side – but they had a great selection of wines and beers on offer too. As the meat’s ground on site, you get asked how you’d like it done – medium, natch.

The meat of it 

Let’s have a look.

To take each picture in turn. It’s a simple, no-nonsense plating – the wax wrapper promises an oozy cheese and it doesn’t disappoint, as you can see as the soft bun and 5-6oz patty fold out of it. It looks soft, it looks inviting. The cross section (we asked for a knife) shows off the pink centre, the generous, crisp bacon portion, the cheese melt, and the merging of the salad with the ketchup/mayo/mustard combo that is their “punch that brings flavour to the table.”

First bite… and it is absolutely ON. This is a proper LFG moment, you want to hit the table and say ‘go on my son,’ it’s so good (and I never do either of those things). The patty is perfectly seasoned, crunch through the sear and a soft, juicy centre. The American cheese provides unguent, umami flavour with every bite, accentuated by the occasional crunch of crispy, streaky bacon, generously portioned and evenly distributed. The sauce does (as promised on the website) add punch, reminding me once more of In & Out, this time its trademark, mustard heavy Animal Style – mustard adding a gentle warmth, ketchup adding sweetness, mayo adding moisture. The bun is a paragon – soft yet – just – sturdy enough to hold up to the juices emanating from the luscious beef. The website says they have perfected their own blend of meats (this is 75% lean / 25% fat I suspect, not very demure – in fact wildly luxuriant), and the occasional bite of the crisp, sweet Jewish deli pickles adds sparkle to what is already an absolute diva of a burger.

One of the best I’ve had in a long time. Belfast, you legend.

The fries – well seasoned, crisp, hot, fresh — these have potato flavour despite being shoestring cut, and dunk well in ketchup or mayo. Reassuringly, the condiments are provided in bottles (none of those tiny artsy pots nonsense). The portion is ludicrously generous; think Five Guys level of excess fries.

Service was outstanding; we got the backstory of the restaurant (brothers wanting to create quality burger dining in Ireland), a sense of the economics of it (apparently their busier site in Belfast does a few million a year, excellent and brisk trade), the food philosophy (simple, quality, fresh food, well crafted), and a real sense of passion. Thanks Alan, you upgraded an already amazing dining experience with your quality chat and we appreciate you. And you’re right, Allen is clearly a last name.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5
Build – 5/5 – bun, sauce, salads, burger, cheese, bacon, pickles IIRC. Nowt to fault.
Burger – 5/5
Taste –  5/5  
Sides – 5/5 – perfect, uncomplicated fries
Value – 5/5 – £19 a head for burger, fries and drink each, and one of us had a double and another had a milkshake, represents pretty good value by modern standards .  

Burger rating – 5/5 – regular readers know I can normally find a single note to give even the best burgers I eat. I had nothing for this. I’d like it exactly the same next time. Maybe Alan saw that in me and that’s why he said ‘see youse tomorrow,’ as we left. I’m really tempted. 

The deets 

If you’re visiting Ireland, North or South, make a trip to Bunsen’s. It’s just great. Find your nearest here.

The Meat Shack, Thorp Street, Birmingham

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Dripping, filthy, goodness

Burger source 

Very much part of the burger renaissance, the Meat Shack has a pop-up to restaraunt story like so many. Here’s how they tell it:

Established in 2012, we started out in streetfood working with Digbeth Dining Club as one of the original traders. Fast forward to 2017 and we opened our restaurant in Thorp Street. Still serving our hefty hunk of well aged grass fed beef which is hand smashed creating the best crispy caramelisation of beefiness on the outside, leaving all the dripping filthy goodness on the inside.  

https://themeatshack.co.uk/about-us

My train home from a work trip to Leeds was cancelled, so I got to pop in for dinner whilst waiting for the next one. Hashtag industrial action hashtag silver linings.

The order 

I went for a “dutch piggy” – Dutch gouda cheese, american cheese, streaky bacon, pickle, ketchup, chipayo (choptle mayo, I’m guessing), iceberg and red onion, with a side of naked fries and an ice cream soda – because YOLO.

The meat of it 

Well now, that looks pretty promising. Amazing melt on the cheese, tidy looking bun, fresh looking veg, good amount of general goo. Let’s take in the cross section.

The unctuous gooeyness continues. It really is dripping and filthy, as promised. First taste… does it deliver on the goodness?

Yes, it really does. The meat has a good aged funk about it, is perfectly seasoned with a good crust. The middle is a light pink, the cheese adds amazing salt and texture. The streaky bacon is a little on the chewy side – it comes off in large chunks instead of breaking off like a crisp, which is not right for streaky – but it’s thick cut and does add a good salty bite. You’d think the umami would be overwhelming, but sweet ketchup and sweet-spicy chipotle mayo temper it, and the slightly oversized (but pleasant) bun gives good balance to the overall flavour profile. My hands are covered in the sauce, and every so often a vinegary, pickly bit comes through. Sweet, spicy, salty, sour, chewy, filthy and sweet again – it really is very, very good. If I’m being SUPER picky – the sauces are slightly overwhelming, the bun is a bit much and the bacon could be crispier – but these are finessing points on an excellent burger.

The fries – are slightly overseasoned but otherwise perfect – crispy on the outside, fluffy in the middle, quality potato, healthy portion.

The cream soda – not oversweet, a lovely balance to all the salt.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5 – a bit more than needed
Build – 4/5 – I’m not sure about the level of filth, think it could have been better contained 
Burger – 4.5/5
Taste –  4.5/5
Sides – 4.5/5   
Value – 5/5 – £17 inc service for burger, side and drink is pretty good in these inflationary times.  

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – really very good all around. 

The deets 

Thorp St is just 7 mins walk from Birmingham New Street station. Stop in on your way in/out of Brum, or when in town if this is your endz. Does what it says on the tin.

Cosy Club, Northgate Street, Chester

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It was fine. I said fine, OK?

Burger source 

I was struggling – there were a lot of good things on the menu of the Cosy Club – creative dishes, some healthy, some indulgent, almost all more exciting than a burger. I got myself down to a few options… and when I asked for help from the waitress, she guided me to the burger. FATE.

The restaurant choice itself was guided by the need for a family-friendly venue as we overnighted in Chester on our way further North to meet up with a friend for a few days. We’d had a brilliant afternoon at Chester Zoo so naturally the kids (well, Zoe, our youngest anyway) was/were somewhat tuckered out, so we didn’t venture far from our hotel…

The Club itself is a chain, with a fair few sites, though this – new – branch was a first for me. Despite the fact there’s one in my local town…

The order 

Modern fixtures with a classic trim, this restaurant had style if not a great deal of atmosphere on a sleepy Wednesday night in the Summer holidays. Service was brilliant – fast, polite, friendly and handled Amanda’s nut allergy and the kids miscellaneous fussiness with no complaint.

I went for the House Burger – replete with signature burger sauce, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle with fries and slaw – and added cheese to top it off. At around £16, it’s not for the faint hearted…

The meat of it 

[Main review] 

Presentation is not bad. The salad’s in the right place, the bun is toasted (perhaps a bit too much), there’s a good melt on the cheese, the slaw looks fresh and bright – and not drenched in mayo – and the fries look decent. Let’s go in for the close up.

Ok – the stack is good. The bun is soft and compacts a fair bit – but the excessive toasting helps it maintain structural integrity. The beef – you can see – has a coarse grind, but is very compacted. The salad remains bright, the cheese binds, and a good amount of burger sauce frames it. Let’s go to the first taste…

The char comes through immediately – both from the slightly blackened bun and the firm, hard sear the burger clearly had in the cook. But it’s not overwhelming and actually adds a pleasant smokiness. The burger is a little chewy, overcooked and slightly underseasoned, but has good flavour. The burger sauce adds a brilliant binding sweetness, the cheese an extra umami oopmh, and there’s fresh crispness from the salad. The pickle adds a – slight – vinegar tang – it’s not a paragon of its kind but is fine – and the whole comes together better than the sum of its parts would have you expect. But it’s expensive for an ‘ok’, pub style burger, especially when you consider…

  • the slaw – uninspired, underseasoned and possibly under-lemoned, this adds crunch but little flavour.
  • the fries – well cooked, self-seasoned skin-on fries, these are good… crisp on the outside, fluffy potato flavour within – but it’s not a generous portion, simply plated to look like it is

So good, but not great.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3.5/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 3/5
Taste –  3/5  
Sides – 3.5/5 – let down by the slaw and portion size   
Value – 2.5/5 – too much for a thing that was just OK.  

Burger rating – 3/5 – probably should have had the seabass Amanda went for – looked amazing. 

The deets 

Find your local here if you’re keen – probably skip the burger, fine though it was – it wasn’t special and wasn’t worth the sticker price.

TGI Fridays, Retail Park, Southampton

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Pricey but serviceable nostalgia 

Burger source 

TGI Fridays is, to my mind, an artefact of my teenage years. I remember a trip to the Science Museum when I was at secondary school that ended there, with the teachers sipping cocktails that my classmates tried to spike with tabasco sauce (Mr Collins seemed to like his Tequila sunrise + hot sauce, which is less surprising today than it was then), and I remember loving the indulgence of the Americana. It had a resurgence in my early 20s because of the cocktails – oh, the cocktails – but I probably haven’t been to one in about 15 years. And it was on the occasion of a trip to see the musical SIX in Southampton with the elder kids that we picked it as a dinner venue, and so naturally – burgers were had. 

The order 

I had the Fridays glazed burger – described as “100% beef patty coated in our Fridays® Legendary Glaze, Monterey Jack cheese and crispy bacon. Served on a bed of lettuce, mayo, tomato, pickled red onions and extra Fridays® Legendary Glaze on the side.” Emily had a kids burger but was anxious it wouldn’t be enough food, so I got some corndogs for us to share (minus the mustard, because, kids, fussy, etc). And Izzy had a sundae to finish, whilst Emily ordered a £7.50 rocky road milkshake. £7.50 – seriously.

The meat of it 

Well, that is decent presentation. Good crust on the burger, sturdy looking (but soft) bun, bed of salad in the right place with duly julienned lettuce, amazing melt on the cheese, good colour and seasoning on the fries…. and a slightly suspicious pot of watery brown sauce – the aforementioned glaze.

Let’s take a closer look.

Cross section confirms the robustness of the stack. You can see the meat is coarse ground and loosely enough packed. The bun has a good texture, and the salad is bright and fresh. The back bacon is slightly on the floppy side – surprising given the American tendency to present bacon as fully hardened glass-like shards of streaky – but – so far, so good.

First taste… sweet bun, excellent seasoning on the burger. The melty cheese adds a binder and texture but little flavour; the bacon adds savoury bite but little texture. The meat is decent but not special – a little on the dry side, helped by the mayo in the burger, good texture and well balanced on the whole – but it is somewhat generic to taste. Overall, however, the effect is really not bad. The sauce – adds a – not entirely unpleasant – saccharine sweetness when I dipped either the burger or the fries in it – but would NOT recommend dousing the burger in it as described – it would have overwhelmed everything and likely rendered the meal inedible.

On the sides – the fries were crisp and heavily seasoned – slightly too much so – with (I think) rosemary salt and pepper. A bit heavy handed, but pleasant, and a dip on ketchup / mayo / the Fridays glaze took some of the edge off the salt.

The corndogs went down a treat with the kids and I was only able to snaffle a bite – I feel I should like these but the cornbreading is just too stodgy – I think I was hoping for a battered sausage sort of texture (amazingly, I’ve not had a corndog before despite seeing them feature in countless American TV-series) – and the corndog coating is just more bready/cakey. The cheese sauce was bland and served no purpose – it was ignored.

Emily was defeated by her rocky road shake – so I got to have a bit at the end. It was creamy, chunky, luscious indulgence, though the bottle poured caramel and chocolate sauce gave it a slightly chemical feel.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 3.5/5 
Taste –  3.5/5  
Sides – 3.5/5 – good fries, meh corn dogs   
Value – 3/5 – £16.50 for burger & fries, £9.50 for two corn dogs, £7.50 for a milkshake – you get it. Not budget friendly.  

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – fine. Just fine.

The deets 

Find your Fridays wherever you are, there’s still a fair few around. This one is a 10 minute walk from the Mayflower theatre and not a bad option for those of us with fussy kids (or burger loving parents).

Now: I need to get to Hard Rock Cafe…

Old House at Home, Newnham, North Hampshire

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Very well executed pub burger

Burger source 

Living in rural North Hampshire, there’s with three kids, a garden to maintain, family commitments and busy jobs… we don’t have a lot of energy left over for date night. So the brief Amanda and I agreed on for a rare night with BIL babysitting was ‘somewhere not too far away’.

Having lived in the area for 12 years, there’s not that many places we haven’t been, but… a forensic search of Google Maps and Tripadvisor well-reviewed local pubs led me to book us a table at the Old House at Home in Newnham, an independent pub that had 4.5* reviews and was sufficiently nearby to meet the brief.

The order 

You’re always rolling the dice with a pub burger. They have such a variety of items on the menu, you know they’re not grinding the meat on site – therefore everything is cooked well done and there’s a chance you’re going to end up with a charred hockey puck rather than a burger. But… this place really reviews well so I thought I’d chance it. Here’s how it’s billed:

Homemade Beef Burger with tomato, lettuce, smoked cheddar, pickle, crispy pancetta served in a toasted brioche bun & chips

I was designated driver, so just lime & soda to drink… and I eventually, as you’ll see, fell victim to the sticky toffee pudding they had as an option for pudding.

Amanda had a fishcake and a crumble, which I’ll mention in passing as they’ll probably appear in soft focus in the background of my burger photos.

The meat of it 

Well, lookee here.

I’m not really sure what to make of it at first. Few burgers that feel the need to come ‘open face’ do so for any purpose other than misdirection (e.g. look at this brilliantly melty cheese… hiding a terrible burger)… but once assembled, you’ll see the proportions of the stack are all pretty sweet:

You can see the crisp pancetta sticking out the bottom left. The burger has heft but isn’t ridiculous. The salad looks crisp. The pickles – I started there – are sweet, sour and bright – a good start.

Let’s go cross section betfore we get into the tasting.

This is strong. There’s a crust on the meat, but it’s not dry at all despite being cooked well done. You can see the coarse grind of the meat in the patty. There’s a good amount of salad protecting the bottom bun, which is holding up admirably to the mass of meat above it. The bun is substantial without being overwhelming. The only real warning sign is the absence of any relish or burger sauce… but let’s get into the first taste.

Crisp, well seasoned outer, gives way to juicy, meaty centre – no aged funk, just simple flavours, but no worse for it. The bun holds up, adding a light sweetness and softness and crunch all in one. The cheese adds a light smokeyness and a melty pull, even as a savoury crunch comes away with the pancetta. A little fat oozes out of the burger as the sweet, crisp lettuce and tomato contrasts the umami bomb of the meat and cheese. It doesn’t need burger sauce – the moisture of salad and meat, the natural sweet and savoury – complement beautifully.

It’s really well done. If I was nitpicking, I would maybe have buttered the brioche (more?) pre-toasting, and used a blowtorch to add some char to the cheese melt, and maybe crisp the pancetta a bit more gently – it was a little on the blackened side of crisp. But really – none of these things diminish the burger experience. It is solid, and re-orderable, which is not something I’d often say of a pub burger.

The chips were almost perfect – really high quality potatoes, crisp on the outside and fluffy in the middle, and hit the goldilocks zone of well-seasoned. I had ketchup and mayo on the side which maxed these out – really solid.

(Amanda’s fishcake was apparently good too, on a bed of green beans and generously topped (and bottomed, it seemed) with hollandaise. She declined the poached egg topper it was meant to have, and I learned something about my wife).

A quick word on pudding (after all, this website is not dessertsource) – sticky toffee pudding is my kryptonite. It’s really hard for me not to order it when it appears on a menu of somewhere nice. And, gloriously, they had a ‘small’ portion option (£4.90 instead of £7.50 and not of Kaiju proportions). It was perfect – soft, steamy sponge, a lake of caramel, chewy bits where the dates hadn’t completely dissolved into the sponge, hot and steamy – contrasting beautifully with the cold, smooth ice-cream. <Chef’s kiss>.

(Amanda had an apple and rhubarb crumble with ice cream. Also nice.)

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5
Build – 4.5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 
Taste –  4.5/5  
Sides – 4.5/5  

Value – 4/5 – £19 for burger and side, ish, £5 for pudding, plus drinks and service – it’s a minimum £30 a head place.  Good, but toppy for this particular menu choice

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – one of the top non-burger specialist burgers you can get, I suspect

The deets 

Newnham is about 10 minutes drive from Basingstoke, a few minutes from Hook. If you know, you know. Recommended. Find the pub here.