Tag: burgers

Granger & Co, Kings Cross, London

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Rich, sweet and savoury feast

Burger source 

Not gonna lie, when I got to Granger & co, I picked up the Vegan menu and got a little flustered. The friend who we were celebrating has something of a flair for the dramatically plant-based and whilst that would have been fine, the menu also had a higher words-to-event ratio than a Jane Austen novel, so it took a bit of parsing.

Eventually, my middle aged eyes differentiated the vegan menu from the omnivore menu and found that they had a burger – and it sounded great! Who knew that this is what the spirit of Australia would feel like.

Everything about Granger & Co. reflects the ‘Australian’ spirit: sunny, light, vibrant, and always generous. Our warm, welcoming neighbourhood restaurants offer all-day dining that makes you feel good and at home.

The order 

This place is too fancy to name its dishes, so I had the descriptively named Grass-fed beef burger, dill pickles, butter lettuce, caramelised onions and herbed fries 22 + gruyère. I also had a £6 glass of home-made ginger ale, and split a pudding – am £11 choux bun. This place carries some heft.

Being offered a choice in how the burger was cooked is ALWAYS a good sign, and the staff were pretty proud of it. Good for them, good for us.

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look.

That is some fancy and yes, ostentatious presentation. Well seasoned (albeit pale) herbed fries notwithstanding, the salad is bright and fresh, that heritage tomato does make tomatoes as a whole perhaps look appealing. The meat has excellent char, the bun is toasted well – at least somewhat – on both sides – and the gruyere has an superb melt.

In cross section, two pics – with/without flash:

They did indeed deliver on the promise of a medium finish (though this is more plainly visible on the flash-image on the right). The layer of caramelised onion is thick and consistent, the gruyere is melted atop the onions – adding structural bind. A thin layer of relish finishes the top layer, and the bottom bun is bare – a flaw in the self-assembly presentation of salad on the side of plate, as every burger aficionado, knows the salad needs to protect the bottom bun. Whatever the emoji says🍔 – and it was too messy to self assemble the correct way.

On first taste… the burger is soft, melt-in-your-mouth, dry-aged meat with a light hint of the expected funk. At first the flavour seems mild, then you’re hit with a depth of umami from the excellent seasoning, the unctuous, salty bite of the gruyere, the sweet hit of the caramelised onions and the meh of the relish – which is lost in that avalanche of sweet-and-savoury flavour. The meat is coarse ground and loose packed, which – alongside a high fat ratio and a perfect cook – leads to an extraordinary texture. The bun holds up, providing bland contrast to this taste explosion.

In fact, it is almost a perfect mouthful, and the build is so elegant that virtually every other bite follows the same profile. Consistently excellent, deep, rich, savoury, sweet and fulfilling. The only slight criticism is that texture contrast is limited – it’s quite a mushy mouthful – and some fresh onions, or crispy onions, or streaky bacon – would have completed the experience. And perhaps a burger sauce instead of the relish – at times the thick layer of onions could overwhelm somewhat with sweetness, and I didn’t taste the pickles at all – so there was no vinegary hit to cut through the almost cloying sweetness of the onions.

Still, these are small notes on an exceptional burger.

As to the side, the salad, the drink and the pud?

The salad was salted, and the tomatoes as fresh and sweet as you could hope for two months into the UK’s autumn. The butter lettuce likewise – fresh and bright, though I do prefer a shredded iceberg, perhaps that itself a sign of a misspent youth.

The fries looked pale and anaemic but were in fact perfectly crooked – crisp and fresh, brilliantly seasoned with a clean tasting herb salt that hit of parsley (I think), and were fabulous dunked in generous pots of mayo.

The choux bun – full title: choux bun, orange and fennel seed craquelin, citrus curd and crème fraîche – was a surprise with every mouthful. I don’t know what craquelin is when it’s not on a roast pork joint, so didn’t really know what to expect – but the soft puffy ball is textured like a chewy profiterole; the creme fraiche is unsweetened and the fennel seed adds to the savoury bite. The sweet and sour curd reminds you this is, in fact, a pudding, and despite the confusing blend of flavours and textures – this dish mysteriously works. And is a fresh, bright, palate cleansing joy.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5  – slightly dry but not bad, well balanced against the burger
Build – 5/5 – not even going to take points off for DIY salad because the rest of it was so well done
Burger – 5/5 – some of the best quality, best cooked, best seasoned beef patty I’ve had in a while
Taste –  4.5/5 – small deduction for too much sweet and not enough crunch 
Sides – 4.5/5 – very strong fries, very interesting pudding   

Value – 4/5 – at nearly £50 for the meal (and admittedly friends had wine, so that pumped up the averages somewhat), this was a punchy meal. But a brilliant vibe, delicious food, and excellent service

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – very little to fault here. Hurrah for the Australian spirit.

The deets 

There’s a few locations. Find your nearest one here. The Kings X one is literally out the main entrance, out the back, heading up to Coal Drops Yard.

Maxwells, Covent Garden, London

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Great build, rubbery meat, inoffensive sauce

Burger source 

I remember (vaguely) having a really good, albeit random, night out with old university friends that started in a bar that was on the same site as Maxwell’s, ending in the nightclub that was Roadhouse on the far side of Covent Garden, about 20 years ago. Good times.

This time around, I was meeting with a former colleague who was based in the area and who – for some inexplicable reason – wanted both the experience of dining through a burger tasting with me, and to catch up at the same time. So we did both; he had a head-sized margarita and I talked him through my process. This one’s dedicated to you, Steve.

[I appreciate this section is normally occupied with some chicanery about the reasons I was drawn to this particular burger venue; their approach to farm-to-plate food, fine ingredients for fine dining, etc., but in all honesty, I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade, I’ve tried the burgers everywhere, and a lot of the new upstarts frustratingly have very little dine-in space and/or are in sites where people don’t want to meet up with me. At some point I’ll have reason to do a burger tour of Peckham but I don’t think 2025 is the year… and, well, many of the places I haven’t reviewed just don’t have as compelling a story].

But… so as not to betray consistency – they have 50 years of dining experience. And have mastered culinary whatsits. Etcetera.

More generously – the vibes and service in this place were fab. Lovely cocktail bar/diner hybrid, replete with Americana, neon lighting, generous portions and weirdly hybrid meals (a Philly Cheesesteak served in a ciabatta? Sacrilege). We had fab service, they played great music, and it was a good time all around. But let’s get into the food.

The order 

My wont is to order the closest thing they have to a paradigmatic bacon cheeseburger. However I was thrown into a flurry of indecision by the fact they had both the Maxwell’s classic (featuring a traditional burger patty) and the Big Max’s Smash burger (featuring a double smash patty), both of which had optional bacon. I did the only thing a sane person could do in the circumstances; I asked the waitress, who made clear that the sensible choice was the Big Max’s. So Big Max’s it was; all the way to the top, featuring two smash patties, American cheese, lettuce, diced onion and their “proper” Big Max’s sauce. Plus bacon, natch.

I also had a Hakuna Matata to drink; a mocktail featuring mango juice, lychee juice, Monin mango syrup, watermelon syrup and lime juice… they might as well have called it the Type 2 diabetes. More to follow.

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look.

On first inspection, stray onion notwithstanding, this is a fine looking plate of food. There’s a pleasant sheen on the toasted brioche bun, an excellent melt on the cheese, what seems to be a decent char on the patties… and you can see bright, fresh salad peeking out the sides. The fries look crisp and hot; and whilst the bacon appears somewhat flaccid, there’s nevertheless a lot to hope for.

In cross section, there’s good (airy, warm bun with good structural integrity, excellent melt on the cheese, confirmed fresh salad), bad (bacon is under-grilled for my liking, sauce is a little watery) and straight up weird (how did the centre of a smashburger stay pink? these things are meant to be smashed to a meat-lace on the grill and crisped to savoury, almost crunchy perfection). I’m wary.

First taste… the flavour balance is actually OK. The bun adds sweetness and structure that contrasts elegantly with the salty cheese, which in turn gives some decent, unguent umami to boost the bacon. The meat is good quality but slightly rubbery in texture and perhaps a little under-seasoned. There’s a nice crunch from the onions, adding my much sought after textural contrast. The sauce is watery but adds moisture and a light, inoffensive sweetness to counterbalance the savoury bite… it’s OK. More bites reaffirm that, somehow – despite its limitations – the burger is decent. I have notes, but it’s pleasant and I’d recommend it.

My notes:

  • More seasoning on the meat, bros. Flavour is your friend,
  • Thicken up and season that sauce a bit more; vinegar; some diced pickle, add some sharpness to balance the sweet too
  • Crisp that patty! Smash it harder!
  • Render the fat in the bacon. And switch to streaky. It’s not a salad.

Otherwise – pretty good! Would go again.

On the fries… they were excellent quality. They came a little under seasoned but that was easily remedied. And could perhaps have done with ever so slightly longer in the fryer.

The Hakuna Matata? Sugary delight. Order a side of insulin.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 4/5 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 -bump for the onion fries   
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and fries, £7 for the cocktail, and – amazingly – a 25% discount voucher courtesy of Steve’s winning charm added value to the experience. But v reasonable for this part of London.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – good – but room to improve. 

The deets 

34 King Street, just round from Cov’t Garden tube. I really wish I remember what was there about 20 years ago… Can recommend. Details, booking etc – all here.

The Plimsoll, Finsbury Park, London N4

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Possibly perfect cheeseburger

Burger source

The Plimsoll is on so many ‘best burger’ reviews it’s almost obscene that it’s taken me nearly a decade of my burger gastronomic adventure to get out there. But thanks to an invite from local resident and corporate affairs industry watcher, Helen Dunne, I had a good reason to discover quite how accessible Finsbury Park is from Central London and give the gastro-pubbed refurb of the old, Auld (it used to be the Auld Triangle, so that was a pun), Irish pub and its famous ‘Dexter’ cheeseburger. Which I’m told is named for the Irish cow breed used for its meat, not the storied serial killer…

The pub is apparently under the management of chefs Jamie Allan and Ed McIlroy, who previously ran a pop up called the Four Legs @ the Compton Arms elsewhere in North London. But I couldn’t find a website, so blame me for citing a three year old Guardian article if I have this wrong… 

The order

If you want chips, this is the wrong place to be. I had the Dexter cheeseburger (beef, cheese, burger sauce, pickles, fresh onion, crispy onion, brioche – £14), and we shared a pile of ‘greens’ (it’s a Caesar salad of sorts, at £11) and ‘fried potatoes with aioli.’ (£7).

The meat of it

OMG. You can immediately see the butteriness of the bun; the double onion combo is spilling out the sides. The home made pickles speak of sweet and sour pleasure; the cheese is melted perfectly on a beautifully charred patty… and the glisten on the brioche. Wow. If looks could cause type two diabetes…

In cross section you can see the build is pretty much perfect. The plate remains clean despite the healthy amount of burger sauce that’s within, the bun is super soft but providing structure, the meat is coarse ground and the assembly precise. There’s a lot to play for.

First bite… soft bread, robust, perfectly seasoned bite to the patty and a melty, meaty centre. The sweet burger sauce and unguent, umami-rich cheese contrast beautifully, and the double onion combo gives you crisp and crunch in one. The pickle adds fresh, bright sweetness with a sour pickle edge and tastes of the summer day on which it was picked. The mouthfeel is fantastic, the flavour sublime.

It’s just a glorious combination. It feels and looks small but this thing is dense and packed with flavour. The first bite loads my hands with grease and burger sauce and I don’t even care; I switch over to cutlery to preserve my dignity and my shirt, and to draw out the luscious sensory experience. Every bite of this is like injecting pleasure into my taste buds; I don’t understand the appeal of class A drugs, but this… This I can see myself getting withdrawal symptoms from. It’s glorious.

On the sides…

I love that the salad was billed as “leaves with vinaigrette”; this felt like a loaded Caesar salad, dense with Parmesan and a slick sweet and savoury dressing – which is what you’d expect for the money. I wouldn’t exactly call it bright and fresh – this is a rich, rich salad – but it was a lovely contrast to the burger.

The potatoes – are perfectly tender and simultaneously crisp all over. I didn’t expect to love them – I LOVE chips – but they are beguiling, and provide a heft that ensures you walk away full – we didn’t finish one portion between the two of us.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  5/5 – soft, buttery pleasure
Build – 5/5 – clinically precise, beautifully architected
Burger – 5/5 – inarguably extraordinary
Taste –  5/5 – flawless victory
Sides – 4/5 – these were great but felt a bit pricey 
Value – 5/5 – it wasn’t cheap but if this is what I get, this is what I pay for.

Burger rating – 5/5 – this deserves its billing as one of the top burgers in London. Absolutely extraordinary.

The deets

It’s about 4 minutes walk from Finsbury Park tube. Take the Station Way exit. Go tomorrow; Finsbury Park is < 10 minutes from Kings X on the Victoria Line so there’s really no excuse for anyone who’s based in London.

Filthy Buns @ The Star of Kings, York Way, Kings Cross, London

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Well formed but unbalanced burger

Burger source 

Kings Cross is a convenient place to meet with some of my oldest friends, but we’ve been to many of the stalwarts of the burger scene in the area. It was just our luck, then, that Filthy Buns, erstwhile of Dalston, has taken up residence in the Star of Kings on York Way. I wish there was more to their story than this, but it’s kind of joyous for what it is:

“Someone once said ‘You can’t call food filthy’ we wholeheartedly disagreed – Filthy Buns is all about grabbing the humble burger and turbo charging it to give your tastebuds a good smack in the chops.

Quality ingredients, banging flavours, freshly cooked and a funny name – what more do you need from a burger?…Ohhhh that bit of juice that runs down your hand when you eat it, well, we’ve got that covered too.”

The order 

I went for the ‘Smokin gun’ (Patty, swiss cheese, bacon, bbq sauce, miso mayo, crispy onions); friends tried le chunion and the sh*t cheese burger. We shared the ‘nugs’ (w/ BBQ sauce), a regular and a jerk-seasoned fries.

The meat of it 

There’s very little to fault here. A hot, toasted bun; perfect melt on the cheese, a generous portion of well cooked bacon, a healthy covering of BBQ sauce as advertised, and a delight of crispy onions for further umami and crunch. Does it taste as good as it looks?

Let’s look at it in cross section before we get to that. You can see the airy bun is soft and pliant, whilst holding its structural integrity against the heft of the burger/sauce combo. You can see a bright, warm flash of pink in the coarse ground, loose packed patty. Which is confusing, as on eating it – it feels like a smash patty, with crunch and bite… but also the tenderness from a more traditional patty. It’s a mindbender. You can probably see there’s too much sauce – we’ll come back to that – but otherwise there’s little to complain about. This is as advertised.

BUT THE TASTE, Armand, tell us of the taste! WAS IT RIGHTEOUS?

Well, no. Unexpectedly so. This is a burger that is curiously LESS than the sum of its parts. The bun was hot and fresh; the meat perfectly cooked, almost outrageously so. The bacon savoury and with good bite; the cheese unctuous and not overly salty against the weight of everything else. The crispy onions added crunch and my always-sought-after textural contrast.

But the BBQ sauce. The BBQ sauce is delicious, but it is massively overpoured. This means the whole burger is… tainted… with a saccharin sweetness that overwhelms anotherwise well balanced sandwich. Every bite just feels slightly off and whilst the individual components are fabulous – you are weirdly left longing for a bit sour pickle tang, or fresh lettuce crunch, or raw onion crisp – to temper the sweetness and rebalance the burger. The miso mayo might as well not be there. It’s such a shame – the components were so good, the balance was just missing.

As to sides…

Let’s start with the nugs; poor chicken/batter ratio (too much of the latter), slightly overcooked, slightly underseasoned. But crisp and juicy (when you got through to the meat) and well complemented, actually, by the self-same BBQ sauce in this instance.

The fries – regular and jerk – were outstanding. Crisp, fluffy, well seasoned, and full of flavour – they were fab with all the sauces, even the slightly underwhelming Katsu curry sauce I ordered as an experimental side.

Overall it was a great experience; the pub atmosphere is fab, service was brilliant, and the food and drinks were solid. But the burger needs to find the balance in the force for this to be really exceptional.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  5/5 – hot, soft, well structured  
Build – 4/5 – too much sauce! 
Burger – 4/5 – it’s a good patty
Taste –  3.5/5 – the sauce I think undermined the whole  
Sides – 3.5/5 – the fries on their own would have been 5/5. The nugs brought the score down.   
Value – 3.5/5 – £13 for the burger; £5 for the fries; £8.50 for the nugs. Not bad but not amazing.  

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – I really wanted to love this. There was so much potential. I think I need to go back and try a Sh*t cheese burger at some point!

The deets 

The Star of Kings is just a 7 minute walk from Kings X station, North and slightly East. I really like the buzz of Coal Drops Yard and that campus around Kings X; which does extend across York Way into this trendy, vibrant pub. That they were playing Blur music the whole time we were there was a bizarre and nostalgic bonus. Find out more about them here.

Jones the Grocer, Terminal 2, Heathrow

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Dry, overpriced cardboard with undercooked fries

Burger source 

Not gonna lie – we were disappointed that T2 didn’t offer the delights of Wagamama. Dubious as it is as a source of authentic East Asian cuisine, my kids love it and I will basically be delighted with almost any variation on a katsu curry. But options at T2 for a proper hot meal are relatively limited and it was this, a pub, or an airport grade “smokehouse”. So we went to Jones the Grocer.

The order 

The burgers people were eating looked great. And I was drawn in by the marketing materials around the venue. So the ultimate mr. jones it was – a brisket and wagyu beef burger, topped with streaky bacon, mixed leaves, cheddar, a seeded bun, skin-on fries, and served with something called a bois boudran sauce (apparently ketchup, worcester sauce and shallots – though I’ve read of variants including tabasco, vinegar and other eccentricities).

The meat of it 

Let’s take a look.

So far, so decent. Salad in the right place, good melt on the cheese, intriguing looking bun, skin on fries… I’m not regretting my life choices, yet. Did it last?

It did not. The bun wasn’t particularly airy and flattened on contact with a knife. The meat is dryer than the sun and practically breaks in half, despite its coarse grind. It’s a double patty in there but there’s no cheese between the smash burgers (rookie error), and way too much on top. The (streaky?) bacon looks flaccid and pale; the leaves token and sad.

Let’s not judge a book by its cover though; first taste.

Oh no, this book was exactly as bad as it looked. The meat doesn’t melt in your mouth, it sort of crumbles in dry, mealy mouthfuls with each bite. The cheese has an acrid taste; like it was a sharp cheddar that had grown an unhealthy amount of pinmould on its surface before it was melted over the burger, the process entirely failing to mask the sharp sourness of the decay at all. The bun is inoffensive; the bacon adds unwanted salty flavour over the cheese and the fancy ketchup is nowhere to be found. If not for the fact that I wanted to be full up before the flight, and I’m incapable of wasting food and at this point too British to send it back, I would have left it fully uneaten.

Redeemed by those tasty looking fries in any way?

No. Not even a little bit. The majority had the harsh bite of raw potato; they were underseasoned and undercooked, and most went uneaten.

I think I got unlucky though; the kids burgers (similar in every way but less fancy) were apparently good, and their fries were well cooked. But goddamn it, Jones, for £19 you’d expect better, even at the airport.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  3/5  
Build – 4/5 
Burger – 0/5 
Taste –  1/5 – there are tastier hockey pucks, I suspect
Sides – 1/5 – undercooked and unseasoned   
Value – 1/5 – you won’t want to eat after this. And possibly not during it.  

Burger rating – 0.5/5 – the presentation was nice? 

The deets 

If you’re at terminal 2, I very much recommend you don’t have this. Some of the other dishes looked better but looks are clearly deceiving.

Heard Burgers, Flat Iron Square, London

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Delicious, distinctive smash burger

Burger source 

This is the eco-friendly, posh-ish take on the smash burger by michelin-starred chef Jordan Bailey.

This is how they describe their ambitions:

Heard was born out of Jordan Bailey ’s desire to make an everyday classic exceptional. Two Michelin-starred chef, Jordan uses his expertise and relationships with top suppliers to make burgers that are deceptively simple yet made with the same care and precision as a Michelin-starred dish.

Creating the perfect burger starts with the ingredients – and we only use the best. All produce is ethically and locally sourced – a transparent supply chain from farm to bite.

Our British beef comes from a cooperative of regenerative farms. Aged for a minimum of 35 days, for the ultimate texture and taste.

Sounds regeneratalicious? Wait and see.

The order 

It was a tough choice. My usual rule is to find something that as closely as possible resembles a cheese and bacon burger, and have that as the reliable benchmark. But, somewhat ostentatiously (and to the possible tears of Uncle Roger), there is only bacon jam available at this fine establishment. So I went for the eponymous “The Heard” – apparently Jordan’s Pick, The OG! Which comes replete with Jalapeño hot honey, Ogleshield [cheese], white onion, their secret Heard sauce and pickles. I’m not writing Heard with a fullstop after it because it’s just too much. For a side, I went for the also eponymous Heard fries,
seasoned with Heard beef fat and herb salt. I have not experienced tallow as a seasoning before – let’s see if I’m, erm, here for it.

The meat of it 

Let’s have a look.

Was the first thing you noticed how small the patties were relative to the bun? Because that was the first thing I noticed. But the second thing I noticed was that the two, crisp patties were coated with a gooey melt of Ogleshield, and the fries look absolutely perfect – crisp, hot, well-seasoned. The orange-red hue of the Heard sauce – also looked spot on.

In cross section (via chomp, not knife as there was no cutlery provided, not even for ready money…. although possibly there was, we didn’t offer any readies)… well, you can see the perfect melt of the cheese continue. The double, crisp and crinkly patty smash made up of coarse ground, dry-aged beef. The chunks of pickle, the drip of tallow and hot honey, the light toasting of the bun, the fine grain and airiness in said bun… there’s very little else to fault aesthetically.

First bite (well, third by this point but who’s counting?) – every bit leaves you the foundational structure of the bread, the umami and slight funk of the beef, accompanied by a light crunch; the sharp, acidic savouriness of the oglefield; a hint of sweetness from the honey and pickle, alongside a crisp freshness from the latter, backed by a soupcon of heat. It’s an absolutely glorious combination and only really limited by the bun-to-bread ratio – this little fella is chunkier than it looks and will not leave you hungry.

Especially not when accompanies by the Heard fries. These are a glorious thing; crunchy on the outside, squidgy in the middle; despite somehow being seasoned with tallow, these are dry – none of the greasiness of chip shop chips. Perfectly seasoned; glorious dunked in the sweet/savoury Heard sauce (think – big mac sauce but better in every way).

It’s a simply glorious combination, well executed. I’ll forgive all the ostentation in the website copywriting – go to Heard, you will not spend a better £17 on a burger and fries. My only complaint (which I did voice) was that the Heard sauce needed to come in bigger tubs.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5 – oversized but otherwise perfect in every way
Build – 4.5/5 – per aforementioned bun comment, and perhaps a smidge too much sharp cheese
Burger – 4.5/5 – a fine, fine smashburger 
Taste – 4.5/5 – so close to perfect  
Sides – 5/5 – these very possibly take the crown for best fries in London   
Value – 4.5/5 – £17 for a burger this good and fries this extraordinary, generously proportioned in the case of the latter, is a fair price in these inflationary times. Well done the (posh) lad.  

Burger rating – 5/5 – I’m giving Heard > than sum of its points scoring. 

The deets 

It’s just round the corner from Flat Iron Square, between London Bridge and Southwark tubes. You could miss it, as I did, but keep walking where Google tells you to and you’ll get close. Or find it via their website, here.

The Gourmet Burger Club, The Strand, London

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Well put together halal (?) smashburger

Burger source 

I must admit, I’ve been curious as to how the Gourmet Burger Club has avoided intellectual property suits from whoever owns Gourmet Burger Kitchen today… but the concept – and the delivery – is very different. The London location is super central – right on the Strand – but it wasn’t born here, starting in Banstead… then Cobham before reaching London. The founder explains their origin story on the website and it’s rather charming:

” In 2020, when people had run out of spirit and were bound to their homes, I was sitting by my window thinking how I could help in restoring the spirit and bringing a smile on people’s faces during these dark times. So, I went into my kitchen and started to experiment with flavours and ingredients. This is where Gourmet Burger Club was born.”

It goes on a bit after that. But lovely nonetheless. Anyway: it was a convenient place to meet a friend who works nearby, and easy to get back to Waterloo after, and we thought we’d give it a go.

The restaurant is well appointed, clean, and a quiet pool of calm in the busy of the Strand. It is substantially upmarket from fast food, but at posh-diner vibes vs a full on restaurant. Still, no complaints – we booked, were greeted and seated quickly, and served in short order. On to the food…

The order 

I had the Lockdown 2.0, feat: a double smash patty, melted cheese, turkey bacon (hence my assuming it’s halal, because why else? I didn’t check for the Halal markings or ask unfortunate), fried onion, lettuce, mustard & BBQ Sauce. Side of curly fries (YES! Top of my fries hierarchy, don’t @ me), and 7-up Free to drink (delighted to find this on the menu, as someone that loves sweet drinks but doesn’t need sugar in his life).

The meat of it 

I like the presentation. Toasted buns, melty cheese, even distribution of bacon, salad in the right place in the burger… and the fries look well-seasoned and cooked, if the obligatory metal basket wasn’t as full as I would have hoped for. Let’s see if it holds up in cross section…

This is basically most of what I’m looking for in a double smash burger. The presentation is pretty much perfect – all toppings perfectly layered. The bun holds up to the greasiness of the burger (you can see a shimmer of it on the plate), whilst retaining the softness you’d want in each bite. The turkey bacon, controversially (?), sits between the patties. I’m not sure if this is genius or there’s a reason people don’t normally do this, but I appreciate the innovation nonetheless.

First bite… brilliant umami, excellent mouthfeel. The meat is uncomplicated – none of the dry-age funk you get with fancy meats – but the blend is excellent, the seasoning is on point, the melty cheese compliments beautifully. The extra flavour from the turkey bacon works well (though it’s not fooling anyone that knows the taste of actual bacon, it is a good substitute). Another bite and you get into the BBQ sauce – which is very well balanced and successfully tamps down the savouriness elsewhere, as do pockets of sweet fried onions, cut super fine and merging in with the BBQ sauce beautifully.

I search for notes and I find them – the BBQ sauce is a bit too meanly portioned, so the balance of the burger is slightly off – not enough sweet to edge off the salt. The onions should be more generously portioned too, to further help temper the savoury taste. I found myself dunking the burger in some ketchup on my plate to manage the balance. And I would perhaps have liked the burger fried in a little bit of mustard, to give it a bit more… bite, though that is just be the In & Out fan in me. But these are minor – on the whole, this is an excellent smashburger.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5  – little to complain about!
Build – 4.5/5 – More sauce! Weird bacon positioning!
Burger – 4/5 – less salt! 
Taste –  4/5  – more sauce/onions
Sides – 4/5 – more fried! more fries!
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and side, ish.   

Burger rating – 4/5 – would have this again, or try one of the variants. My friend had the spicy club, which he found very good also! 

The deets 

Find all three locations of the Gourmet Burger Club here, or order via Deliveroo if you’re in range.

Mother Flipper, Seven Dials, Covent Garden

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Excellent meat, middling to good toppings

Burger source 

Mother Flipper is on so many best burger lists, for so many good reasons it was exciting to check it out. The Seven Dials website (where the street food burger has a permanent residency) describes it thusly:

Brace yourself for thick, juicy patties, handcrafted from a blend of 28-day aged cuts, grilled to perfection, and topped with flavours of your choice. Slap that patty on a decadent brioche bun, then stack it high with lettuce, pickles, and onions. In the kingdom of London burgers, many declare that Mother Flipper wear the crown.

Let’s GO.

The order 

I had the ‘Candied Bacon Flipper’, feat their aged beef patty, candy bacon, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, red onion, pickle and american cheese. We shared a fries, at £4.95 for a health portion, as well as a ranch and spicy mayo sauce pot for dunkin’.

#YOLO?

I’m too old to know if I used that right. Tell me in the comments.

The meat of it 

Right, it’s decent presentation. Pretty stack, lovely glossy brioche, crisp looking fries, generous sauce pots… It’s on.

Time for a cross section:

It was quite dark in the (very busy) seven dials, so flash was required… but wow, look what it showed. Brilliant, coarse ground beef, cooked medium. Perfect melt on the cheese. The candied bacon (check out their Insta/Facebook pages to see how they make it, drizzling it in syrup and leaving it to caramelise) generously portioned on top. The salad looks a little on the anaemic side, other than some healthy chunks of red onion, but it’s a lesser fault.

First taste.

The bun is cold. I don’t know why this offends me so much, and to be fair this might be down to the fact that – due to the crazy-busy-ness of Seven Dials market of a Tuesday evening (who ARE all these people?), we were sat about 150 yards from Mother Flipper when our buzzer went off indicating food readiness – so my plodding schlep there and back might have cooled it down, but nonetheless. It was disappointing. But – crazy amounts of flavour, alongside the back-of-your nose, back of your throat hit from the dry-aged beef. The meat is delicious, heavily seasoned, well coated in the melty cheese, and well supported by the (intemperate) bun.

Second bite, and third, and the candied bacon and brioche, alongside the (meagre) ketchup portion provide a counterpoint to the salt bomb that this burger is, but not quite enough of one – chef went just a tad heavy with the salt shaker. The pickles and sauce are decent but could be more generously portioned – and I’d have liked more salad and onion too, just to balance the ratio of sweet, fresh, crisp, vs unguent, savoury umami. Just a tad off balance as it was made onight.

As to the fries… and the SAUCE.

These are lightly seasoned (would have liked some salt on the side to top them up, ironically), crisp, fresh fries. They had a good potato flavour and were brilliant dunked in the lightly spiced mayo (think mayo + a glug of sriracha) and the creamy ranch. The ranch was good but… needed fried chicken, really, it wasn’t the best compliment to the fries on its own.

Overall, a really good experience. Imperfect, but just a few minor notes and this could have been close to [chef’s kiss].

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  – did I mention it was cold?
Build – 5/5 – more salad. More sauce!
Burger – 4/5 – less salt! 
Taste –  4/5  
Sides – 4/5 – more salt!   
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, ish. Which is about the going rate.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – would definitely be keen to go again. 

The deets 

Find Mother Flipper at Seven Dials near Covent Garden, or in Brockley. More details here.

Gothic Bar, Kings Cross, London

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Expensive, delicious, unholy mess of a burger

Burger source 

Part of the Midland Grand Dining Room, a bar in the wings of the ultra grand St Pancras Renaissance Hotel (on the site of the former Midland Grand Hotel for which it is name), the Gothic Bar is a super lush, very chilled (although pretty pricey) island of calm in the middle of the bustle of Kings Cross. A little way from the ultra modern developments of Coal Drops Yard, the bar has a distinct 19th century vibe – friendly, ultra attentive service, chatty and charming bar staff and management, amazingly dim lighting (sorry for the terrible photos), and a wonderful warmth and charm. The burger seemed a conceit of the bar menu (not the even posher restaurant), and it felt worth a go, despite frightening prices on the menu.

The order 

The “Grand” cheeseburger au poivre (because nothing makes a burger posh like two words in French) – at £21, two portions of fries between five of us (£7 a pop), and a main fried chicken dish as a side between us (£14 – for three large tenders).

It’s worth admiring the official photography and description, via Insta, from the Midland Grand folk:

A “pot” of pepper sauce being a dish. But let’s get into it.

The meat of it 

Obligatory, but disappointing after the model shot, is my pic:

The poor lighting detracts from the impact but it’s still amazingly close to the posed pic. Fresh lettuce on the bottom, a well seared patty with an amazing cheese melt, thick slices of home made pickle, and a shiny, soft bun. Some slight concerns about the bun/burger ratio, but let’s come back to that. First, the cross section. Prepare for an even worse picture.

Ok, there is a lot of bread vs. bun. But there’s fresh red onion, a pinkness to the coarse ground patty, and for the most part it retains structural integrity well.

First bite… and its good. Unctuous is the word – the gooey cheese binding and adding savoury bite, the bun providing (slightly too much) starchy padding for the soft, tender meat. Sweet salad and bright pickles bring contrast and texture and the combination is an absolute, messy delight, as fat drizzles out the far side of the burger. It takes careful eating. Initially – the burger feels too small, swimming in the bread. But it is so rich – between the high (25%+?) fat ratio, the generous melty cheese and the rest, it carries some heft. Being slightly critical – it feels intially slightly underseasoned and under-seared – a crisper texture wouldn’t have gone amiss.

But the “au poivre” pepper sauce? Absolute delight. Adds all the salt the burger needs, a light, breezy heat, more richness and depth – a joy. Would that the “pot” (dish) of sauce was slightly deeper, and slightly fuller, and dunking the fries in here would have been lush. It’s a delightful experience, hurt only by the crazy prices.

The sides?

The fries were a paradigm. Perfect potatoes, perfectly fried, perfectly seasoned, just a treat. Like the childhood memory of a McDonald’s fry, but with actual, consistent crispness and potato flavour. 5/5. £7 does buy a portion for sharing – it’s hefty.

The chicken tenders – we were told we’d get 4-5 pieces between us. We got three. I nabbed a whole one in the interests of science / this blog (the things I do for my art). It was crisp, hot, juicy, fresh – just great, especially dunked in the sweet-not-sharp garlic aioli. A pickle as a palate cleanser and bob’s your uncle.

A lot of money and a lot of food later – we were sated. Time for the final wrap.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4.5/5 – soft, not too sweet, only slightly oversized
Build – 5/5 – a thing of beauty
Burger – 4.5/5 – tad more seasoning and sear 
Taste –  4.5/5  
Sides – 4.5/5 – great fries, good chicken, lots to delight, little to excite   
Value – 3/5 – £50 for burger, share of chicken, share of fries, and three half-pints a piece. Ish.  

Burger rating – 4/5 – this was great. It loses a point because it is not £30 burger and fries great – there are lots of places that will be a third cheaper than this and almost / as good – including the very good Double Standard across the road. 

The deets 

Turn right onto Euston Road when you exit Kings Cross, past the ultra posh hotel, and you’ll find the Gothic Bar (and the Midland Grand) in the West Wing. Worth a visit, save up though – it’s ££££. To give you a sense of why they get away with this pricing? There was a metallic purple wrapped McLaren parked outside the hotel. There’s no accounting for taste.

Manna, Arcade Tottenham Court Road, London

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Small but perfectly formed halal burger

Burger source 

Trying to find somewhere convenient, available and new to review for this blog isn’t trivial. But Manna reviewed well elsewhere and sounded delightful, bringing inspiration from “diner culture and regional fast food joints in the States.” The website promises that: “every dish on the menu is designed to be the best and most luscious verision of itself.”

Well, let’s see.

The order 

I had the smash burger – smashed patty, American cheese, mustard, ketchup, mayo, pickles, diced onions. Simple – but hard to fault. I then proceeded to get confused about the menu and tried the shawarma fries that were not from Manna but from Shatta and Toum, another resident restaurant in Arcade, so I won’t review that here – I did try one of my dining companion’s waffle fries, which are a Manna creation so I’ll talk to those instead.

The meat of it 

Let’s look again at the burger.

Scale is hard to gauge here, but it is small. Really small. Palm of my hand small. But you can see promising signs – the hard sear you hope for in a patty smash. A delightful melt on the cheese. A soft shine on the bun, the glisten of the grease escaping onto the wrapper, and small rivulets of the mustard/ketchup/mayo sauce, seeking a path to freedom.

In cross section, you see some good and some bad things. The bun is so soft, it’s compressed to be wafer thin. The patty is coarse ground and delightfully pink. The cheese is oozing. There’s a good spread of pickle in there, and the onion and sauces. It’s promising. The main bad thing, other than the compressed bun… once again, it’s small. There’s no heft, its displacement is low.

First taste… the crunch of the hard sear, the healthy seasoning, the soft, sweet bun gives way. Delightful, unctuous, salty, gooey beefiness comes in each mouthful. The bun – holds integrity, despite its compression, and in relative to the sliver-like patty – well, it is actually well proportioned. The bright, fresh pickle and crisp onion adds brightness and further sweet crunch. The swirl of mayo, mustard and ketchup essentially puts an In-and-Out-reminiscent ‘animal style’ onto your taste buds. The combination is near perfect. I’m left wanting more.

After a £10 tiny burger, a £5 portion of waffle fries delivers everything you want waffle fries to deliver. Well seasoned, crisp on the outside, soft, hot and fresh interior. So much surface area holds so much flavour and crunch, with pliant, well cooked potato on the inside. Full points.

To drink – I had a mojito. Not always my drink of choice but they used Santiago de Cuba run – a favourite – and it was properly reminiscent of a trip to Cuba in the early 2000s with my friends, drinking the herba-bueno garnished local Cuban mojitos – though at £11.50, substantially more expensive than the $2 cocktails in Havana.

Monkey finger rating  

Bun –  4/5  
Build – 5/5 
Burger – 4.5/5 – docking half a point for it being too small 
Taste –  5/5  
Sides – 4.5/5 – value punishment, £5 for waffle fries was a lot, despite their wondrousness   
Value – 4/5 – £15 for burger and side, ish.  

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – highly recommended. 

The deets 

There’s a couple of Arcades – one just outside Tottenham Court Road tube, on New Oxford St, the other in Battersea. More info at the website, here.