Armand

Mother Flipper, Seven Dials, Covent Garden

October 8, 2024October 8, 2024Posted in Bacon, london, RestaurantTagged american cheese, Bacon, burger, burgers, candied bacon, cheese, food, fries, london, mother flipper, pickle, Ranch, recipes, restaurants, review, seven dials, spicy mayoLeave a comment

Excellent meat, middling to good toppings

Burger source

Mother Flipper is on so many best burger lists, for so many good reasons it was exciting to check it out. The Seven Dials website (where the street food burger has a permanent residency) describes it thusly:

Brace yourself for thick, juicy patties, handcrafted from a blend of 28-day aged cuts, grilled to perfection, and topped with flavours of your choice. Slap that patty on a decadent brioche bun, then stack it high with lettuce, pickles, and onions. In the kingdom of London burgers, many declare that Mother Flipper wear the crown.

Let’s GO.

The order

I had the ‘Candied Bacon Flipper’, feat their aged beef patty, candy bacon, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, red onion, pickle and american cheese. We shared a fries, at £4.95 for a health portion, as well as a ranch and spicy mayo sauce pot for dunkin’.

#YOLO?

I’m too old to know if I used that right. Tell me in the comments.

The meat of it

Right, it’s decent presentation. Pretty stack, lovely glossy brioche, crisp looking fries, generous sauce pots… It’s on.

Time for a cross section:

It was quite dark in the (very busy) seven dials, so flash was required… but wow, look what it showed. Brilliant, coarse ground beef, cooked medium. Perfect melt on the cheese. The candied bacon (check out their Insta/Facebook pages to see how they make it, drizzling it in syrup and leaving it to caramelise) generously portioned on top. The salad looks a little on the anaemic side, other than some healthy chunks of red onion, but it’s a lesser fault.

First taste.

The bun is cold. I don’t know why this offends me so much, and to be fair this might be down to the fact that – due to the crazy-busy-ness of Seven Dials market of a Tuesday evening (who ARE all these people?), we were sat about 150 yards from Mother Flipper when our buzzer went off indicating food readiness – so my plodding schlep there and back might have cooled it down, but nonetheless. It was disappointing. But – crazy amounts of flavour, alongside the back-of-your nose, back of your throat hit from the dry-aged beef. The meat is delicious, heavily seasoned, well coated in the melty cheese, and well supported by the (intemperate) bun.

Second bite, and third, and the candied bacon and brioche, alongside the (meagre) ketchup portion provide a counterpoint to the salt bomb that this burger is, but not quite enough of one – chef went just a tad heavy with the salt shaker. The pickles and sauce are decent but could be more generously portioned – and I’d have liked more salad and onion too, just to balance the ratio of sweet, fresh, crisp, vs unguent, savoury umami. Just a tad off balance as it was made onight.

As to the fries… and the SAUCE.

These are lightly seasoned (would have liked some salt on the side to top them up, ironically), crisp, fresh fries. They had a good potato flavour and were brilliant dunked in the lightly spiced mayo (think mayo + a glug of sriracha) and the creamy ranch. The ranch was good but… needed fried chicken, really, it wasn’t the best compliment to the fries on its own.

Overall, a really good experience. Imperfect, but just a few minor notes and this could have been close to [chef’s kiss].

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5  – did I mention it was cold?
Build – 5/5 – more salad. More sauce!
Burger – 4/5 – less salt!
Taste – 4/5
Sides – 4/5 – more salt!
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, ish. Which is about the going rate.

Burger rating – 4/5 – would definitely be keen to go again.

The deets

Find Mother Flipper at Seven Dials near Covent Garden, or in Brockley. More details here.

Bunsen’s, Botanic Avenue, Belfast

September 16, 2024Posted in Bacon, Chain, Outside London, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged american cheese, animal style, belfast, bunsens, burger, cheeseburger, ireland, jewish deli pickle, Mayo, mustard, northern ireland, shoestring fries, streaky baconLeave a comment

All the good things, none of the bad

Burger source

I’m in Belfast with some fabulous colleagues, to see some other fabulous colleagues, and so I do the only thing humanly possible to do when you come off a horrifically crowded flight – Google burger restaurants near your hotel so you can catch an early supper and some zzzs before a busy day ahead. Bunsen’s scored well in a variety of reviews, and the concierge at the hotel immediately confirmed that it was “class.” Checking out the website, everything about the method and ideology behind the burger concept is a thing of beauty – minimal complexity, maximum quality, thoughtfulness behind each element, from the choice of bun through to the choice of pickle and beyond.

The order

The menu is reminiscent of In & Out, the options are so limited – and that is, as it is at In & Out, an absolute virtue. Beefburger, cheeseburger, add bacon, mess with the toppings (if you dare), double up, and have your choice of shoestring, hand cut or sweet potato fries. It’s printed beautifully on a business card, and I’m told that a local has been collecting the cards and using Bunsen’s price rises as a mechanism for tracking inflation, which puts a rather bougie spin on the Big Mac Index. Think about that, The Economist! Here it is, in all it’s elegant graphic design glory. Passes any vibe check.

I went for the cheese & bacon burger (single) with all their recommend toppings (bottomings) and the shoestring (read: slightly skinny) French fries, with a Sprite Zero on the side – but they had a great selection of wines and beers on offer too. As the meat’s ground on site, you get asked how you’d like it done – medium, natch.

The meat of it

Let’s have a look.

To take each picture in turn. It’s a simple, no-nonsense plating – the wax wrapper promises an oozy cheese and it doesn’t disappoint, as you can see as the soft bun and 5-6oz patty fold out of it. It looks soft, it looks inviting. The cross section (we asked for a knife) shows off the pink centre, the generous, crisp bacon portion, the cheese melt, and the merging of the salad with the ketchup/mayo/mustard combo that is their “punch that brings flavour to the table.”

First bite… and it is absolutely ON. This is a proper LFG moment, you want to hit the table and say ‘go on my son,’ it’s so good (and I never do either of those things). The patty is perfectly seasoned, crunch through the sear and a soft, juicy centre. The American cheese provides unguent, umami flavour with every bite, accentuated by the occasional crunch of crispy, streaky bacon, generously portioned and evenly distributed. The sauce does (as promised on the website) add punch, reminding me once more of In & Out, this time its trademark, mustard heavy Animal Style – mustard adding a gentle warmth, ketchup adding sweetness, mayo adding moisture. The bun is a paragon – soft yet – just – sturdy enough to hold up to the juices emanating from the luscious beef. The website says they have perfected their own blend of meats (this is 75% lean / 25% fat I suspect, not very demure – in fact wildly luxuriant), and the occasional bite of the crisp, sweet Jewish deli pickles adds sparkle to what is already an absolute diva of a burger.

One of the best I’ve had in a long time. Belfast, you legend.

The fries – well seasoned, crisp, hot, fresh — these have potato flavour despite being shoestring cut, and dunk well in ketchup or mayo. Reassuringly, the condiments are provided in bottles (none of those tiny artsy pots nonsense). The portion is ludicrously generous; think Five Guys level of excess fries.

Service was outstanding; we got the backstory of the restaurant (brothers wanting to create quality burger dining in Ireland), a sense of the economics of it (apparently their busier site in Belfast does a few million a year, excellent and brisk trade), the food philosophy (simple, quality, fresh food, well crafted), and a real sense of passion. Thanks Alan, you upgraded an already amazing dining experience with your quality chat and we appreciate you. And you’re right, Allen is clearly a last name.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 5/5
Build – 5/5 – bun, sauce, salads, burger, cheese, bacon, pickles IIRC. Nowt to fault.
Burger – 5/5
Taste – 5/5
Sides – 5/5 – perfect, uncomplicated fries
Value – 5/5 – £19 a head for burger, fries and drink each, and one of us had a double and another had a milkshake, represents pretty good value by modern standards .

Burger rating – 5/5 – regular readers know I can normally find a single note to give even the best burgers I eat. I had nothing for this. I’d like it exactly the same next time. Maybe Alan saw that in me and that’s why he said ‘see youse tomorrow,’ as we left. I’m really tempted.

The deets

If you’re visiting Ireland, North or South, make a trip to Bunsen’s. It’s just great. Find your nearest here.

Jensens Bøfhus, Holstebro, Jutland

August 20, 2024Posted in Bacon, Chain, Gourmety, International, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged Bacon, bofhus, brioche, burger, cheese, chipotle mayo, denmark, fries, holstebro, jensens, jutland, lettuce, onion relish, onion rings, toasted briocheLeave a comment

Very credible burger, but room for polish

Burger source

Again, family holiday and needs must led us to Jensens after a morning’s shopping and exploring the local park in Holstebro, a town that my wife’s family have spent a lot of time in over the years. A bit of research tells me of its origins in the 80s, initially in Aarhus, then moving over to Holstebro and beyond. First as a restaurant, then a Scandinavian chain of restaurants and a butcher/kitchen producing meat-based ready meals for these here parts. Part of me was fearful we’d walked into the Danish equivalent of Aberdeen Angus Steakhouses (the prices certainly would reflect that), but it felt more Miller & Carter in the end, which is for the best. Anyway, broader translated backstory here if you want it!

The order

I had a ‘beast burger’ – beef patty on a brioche bun with bacon, chipotle mayo, cheddar, BBQ sauce, salad, onion chutney and crispy onion rings. It was served with crispy fries and pot of mayo, and a good amount of lettuce too. The ‘special’ priced it at 149DKK (normally 199DK). In pounds, that’s £17 (down from about £22), so it’s pricey but not absurd, even by the standards of expensive Denmark.

The meat of it

Presentation, uneven stack and absurd height of onion ring tower notwithstanding, is not bad. The fries look crisp and fresh (as advertised), the cheese has a brilliant melt on it, there’s generous amounts of crisp streaky bacon protruding, the salad is bright and fresh, the bun is toasted (on both sides – bit much), and the burger looks like it had a good sear.

Cross section…

There’s a coarse grind, and the lightest shade of pink (promised in the menu – Izzy’s kids burger is a more promising pink). The chipotle mayo oozes out, as does the generous onion relish and BBQ sauce. The bun is overtoasted – it crunches as I half the burger for the picture – and it’s hard, due to the uneven stack, to get a clean 50/50 split. I do the best I can and make a bit of a mess of it.

First taste… discounting for the slight crunch on the brioche (which you want to be soft!), the stack is surprisingly well balanced on first bite. There’s salty crunch from the bacon and light heat from the chipotle mayo. There’s tender bite from the meat which is still juicy and melt-in-your-mouth more-ish (although better if pinker). The sweet relish counters the salt – perhaps too much, if I’m being critical. Textures are spot on, flavours are – almost – in balance – there’s a lot to like. But – again – with the eye of a critic – the patty itself is under seasoned and the bun is too large for the meat, leaving to bready mouthfuls on your way through the burger. It’s good, but small corrections – bit more salt on the meat, bit less toast on the bun, bit more width to the patty, bit more even in the stacking – would have made this really excellent.

Which the fries were. Generous both in portion and in seasoning, a dusting of salt and paprika infused every bite with smoky, salty crunch. They were perfectly cooked with a soft centre despite the French fry cut. Dipped in ketchup or mayo – utter perfection. Although I couldn’t finish them – no cheffy portions in an artisan tin cup here, just as many as would fit on the plate – which is more than would fit in my belly!

I’d go back. It was a good experience. Service was excellent and kids’ portions were generous, food quality was high. Recommend!

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5  – overtoasted and oversized but good integrity
Build – 2/5 – not evenly assembled at all
Burger – 4/5 – tasty but underseasoned and marginally overcooked
Taste – 4/5 – over
Sides – 5/5 – the fries were amazing
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, ish, seems decent for restaraunt food in DK

Burger rating – 4/5 – really good experience

The deets

Find your local branch – if you’re visiting Scandinavia – here!

Sunset Boulevard, Viborg, Denmark

August 15, 2024Posted in Bacon, Chain, Fast food, InternationalTagged Bacon, Chain, chipotle mayo, denmark, Fast food, rosemary fries, sunset boulevardLeave a comment

A higher grade of fast food burger

Burger source

Honestly, we got to Viborg late after a busy day at Legoland, it’s ‘low’ season so most things were closed, I needed to get the kids fed and it was open and didn’t tax my very limited Danish too much. However… Wikipedia Denmark tells me that it was founded in 1996, is owned by the same people who own the Pizza Hut franchise here… and they its outcompeted Subway to have 40 branches across Denmark, the Faroe Islands and Greenland. So it is at least somewhat authentically Danish… in tribute to American burgers.

The order

I had the ‘brioche bacon burn’ meal, which came with fries, limitless soft drink and the burger itself – featuring chipotle mayo, a beef patty and ‘pepper bacon’ along with the eponymous brioche bun. It featured a ‘one pepper’ rating, in the style of these things.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look. No cross section, it’s a fast food burger.

You know, it looked OK? Brioche bun shiny, streaky crispy bacon crispy, lettuce bright and fresh, a good amount of the chipotle mayo, hot and fresh to the table.

First taste… the bun is soft but sturdy, indiscernible sweetness. Good. The burger is probably more reminiscent of a BK patty than a McD’s, in that it is more convincingly beef; it’s well seasoned and the creamy chipotle mayo adds the necessary moisture given the burger’s quality (good for fast food, not good by the standards I typically review). The lettuce is fresh and bright but the pickles are disappointing – especially in a country that is famed for them. Just slightly insipid and bland. There’s a peppery kick (black pepper, not hot pepper), but it’s mild – not unpleasant. The bacon adds bright, salty crunch to every mouthful – textural contrast plus umami, I’m delighted with this, at least! The balance is good – and it’s filling for fast food fayre. All in all, a good burger, up there with the best fast food has to offer, if a little heavy perhaps on the seasoning.

The fries are also heavily seasoned. Salt, pepper and rosemary. The are crisp on the outside, skin on fries, and unlike McD’s varietals, actually have the soft, fluffy warmth of real potato in the centre. They are lush although overpowering after a while – not even roast lamb wants that much rosemary.

Monkey finger rating – modified to suit fast food

Bun – 4/5/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste – 4/5
Sides – 4/5 – deducation for just too much rosemary
Value – 4/5 – I honestly have no idea though. £53 for four people would be dollar as hell in a fast food joint in the UK. But everything in Denmark costs a million, so…

Burger rating – 4/5 – I’d have this over any UK fast food chain on offer. Especially given the puns.

The deets

Find one of your nearest in DK (or Greenland, or the Faroe Islands) here…

Grind, Broadgate Circle, Liverpool Street

August 1, 2024Posted in london, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged american cheese, broadgate circle, cheeseburger, crispy shallots, dijonnaise, double, grind, liverpool street, london, pickle, review, smash patty, toasted bun, umamiLeave a comment

A posh McD’s double cheeseburger

Burger source

I’ve popped into the Grind in both London Bridge and Liverpool Street a couple of times now; they are both vibey places with great drinks, good service and what looked like good food. When I met with a former colleague there to catch up on life and work and beyond, it seemed like a shame to not see if the burger lived up to the other positive attributes of the venue.

The order

The Grind cheeseburger is served with dijonnaise, crispy shallots, pickle and skin-on fries. Let’s check it out.

The meat of it

To the picture, maestro!

Two simultaneous first thoughts 1/ decent presentation and 2/ did they overtoast the bun? Followed by my admiration of the cheese melt, a bubbly feeling of pleasant surprise that the burger featured a double smash patty, and the glimpses of fresh pickle around the edges. Let’s see the cross section now.

Well, it’s well built – the lower bun holds up, the melt carries all the way through, the dijonaisse is evident but not overwhelming, the pickle and cheese are well dsitributed… but the bun is definitely over-toasted. It cuts with a crunch and looks dry, and also slightly crushed on service – the bun isn’t soft enough to spring back to shape after handling. The patties also look somewhat overdone, though it is hard to tell with smash patties. Let’s see.

First taste… there’s a healthy crust on the patties, but the meat isn’t too chewy – it gives way under just the right amount of pressure, filling your mouth with a rich, savoury explosion. It’s maybe just a smidge overdone. However, it’s well seasoned and the American cheese is very reminiscent of the McDonald’s varietals, in a good way – melty, savoury, binding the flavours together. The bread has a bit of crunch and chew – it is dried out from its run-in with the toaster and slightly disappointing. Second bite, and I found the djonnaise; it brings a little texture but no heat, with a light, creamy underside providing additional umami. The pickles struggled to cut through against the salt of cheese, beef and dijonnaise, but they did bring a light, bright crisp sweetness if you were looking for it – though definite room for improvement here too. A few more bites and I’m dipping it in ketchup – something is needed to cut through the salt explosion. The balance is just slightly off – salt, salt, salt, salt and crunch – and that’s your burger.

The fries – are exceptional. Skin on, medium cut but crispy, filled with soft, fluffy potato, perfectly crispy and well paired with the pots of mayo and ketchup. Not much else to report.

All in, with a couple of drinks, it came to about £27 including service a head. Pretty reasonable for the location (right behind Liverpool Street station) and the quality, given what inflation seems to have done to burgers in the main.

On the whole, I recommend this – I’d probably add ketchup and mayonnaise into the burger myself next time, to balance the salt, and ask them to just toast the bun on one side to soften the bun.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 2.5/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste – 3.5/5
Sides – 5/5 – close to perfect
Value – 4/5 – £17 for burger and side, which is apparently decent now.

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – less burnt bun, better managed sweet/salty contrast, improved cook on the beef, and higher quality, sweeter, fresher pickles would earn this the remaining points.

The deets

There are a few Grinds around, in the city and in the E/SE of London. Find your nearest here.

Red Dog Saloon, Berwick St, Soho

July 24, 2024Posted in Bacon, london, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged american cheese, burger, double burger, fries, london, onions, pickles, red dog saloon, restaraunt, review, soho, yoloLeave a comment

Hefty, chewy, tasty burger option

Burger source

Red Dog Saloon purports to be all about ‘Austin, Tx’ BBQ, but the menu features Buffalo Wings (Buffalo, New York), Philadelphia Cheesesteak (famously from Philadelphia), Po Boys (Louisiana), Nashville Hot Wings (guess?), St Louis Pork Rib (at a loss as to where this one is from)… so, well… maybe all the food that’s from elsewhere in the USA is terrible? Regardless, I went for a burger, of which there are a grotesque multitude, with toppings as varied as fried egg, cheese whiz, habanero peppers, mozzarella sticks and onion rings. All the burgers come in multiples of 5oz patties, going single, double, XL (presumably a triple?) and double XL (perhaps a quad, or 20oz of beef).

I’m a fan of simpler choices, here…

The order

…so went for the standard cheeseburger, featuring fresh cut onion, American cheese, homemade dill pickle, baby gem, and their eponymous red dog sauce. I added bacon, because, as the young people in 2010 said, YOLO.

We shared a side of fries (it was lunchtime, after all).

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

I almost immediately regretted going for a double, as their singles would have been plenty. But it is a beautiful stack, resplendent with melty cheese, well charred patties, a glistening brioche and a healthy dose of fresh bright lettuce.

In cross section…

The heft of this burger is obscene. The meat is cooked well done, which is a shame, but on the plus side, it is coarse ground and loose packed. The bacon is thick cut and generously portioned, the red dog sauce is in evidence but not overwhelming, and there’s the occasional hint of pickle camouflaged in the lettuce.

First taste… you are slammed with flavour; the red dog sauces reminded me of In & Out’s animal style toppings, adding moisture, light spice and smoothing out the salty tang of melty cheese, well seasoned beef and chewy, moreish bacon. The patty is tough – overcooked and chewy – but good quality meat, albeit uncomplicated. None of the pungency of dry-aging, no 11 herbs and spices – simple, well seasoned, yum. The salad was a crisp and necessarily bland compliment, helping balance the umami, and the pickles – well, I could have done with more pickles given the quantity of meat. Again, my mistake for not just getting a single. Not bad at all, in all.

The fries…

Despite their pale-ness, these were crisp and well seasoned, with a good fluffy exterior. Solid, but unexceptional, and a pleasant complement. I’m glad we shared these as the burger was just mahoosive (I believe that’s the technical term) and these could probably have been left as surplus to requirements had we not been feeling greedy.

Soft drinks as sides (this was a lunch meet, after all), so nothing exciting to report there.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4.5/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste – 3.5/5
Sides – 4/5 – solid
Value – 4/5 – £26 for double burger, shared fries and soft drink each in Soho, £52 in total. Not outrageous

Burger rating – 4/5 – whilst individual components left bits to be desired, the whole was enjoyable. Would go again, order a single, ask them to be more generous with the pickles, and attempt to order it medium…

The deets

There’s a few around. Find a convenient one at the Red Dog Saloon website.

Fallow, Haymarket, London

July 24, 2024Posted in Bacon, london, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged american cheese, Bacon, burger, cocktail, dairy cow, fallow, haymarket, koffman fries, london, pickled shallots, review, rhubarb, short rib, soho, umamiLeave a comment

Tasty but flawed – and expensive

Burger source

Fallow‘s conceit is that is a place where “culinary creativity meets hospitality experience and passion.” That’s certainly how the menu is constructed, with inspired combinations of food and flavour on practically every plate, and the service was pretty excellent. Meat is a key attribute if not a defining feature of the menu, and the two “dairy cow” meat burgers on offer (one with rarebit cheese and shortrib, one with bacon, cheese & shallot alone) stared temptingly at me. Why dairy cow meat? I didn’t ask, and the internet is awash with confusing answers. Some say a milder, less pronounced flavour, others say its inferior, others say there are some breeds where it tastes better. This one? Wait and see.

The order

We shared (dairy) beef short rib to start (£13 buys you two), and then all had the dairy cow burger (feat, aged dairy cow, bacon, shallot, cheese, brioche bun, £19), and Koffman fries (£7). As you can see, the prices are not for the faint hearted.

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

Well, it’s rather fetching. The brioche bun seems to have crisped off the baking sheet, the lettuce looks fresh and inviting, the cheese (American?) seems to have the most glorious melt and ‘fallow’ is branded into the top bun.

In cross section…

Some good, some concerning things become apparent. First – the meat – coarse ground, tender to the point of melting at room temperature, pink with what seems to be a good crust. The cheese melt maintains confidence; the bacon doesn’t seem enormously evident and the shallots… are confusing.

Let’s peek under the bun.

I normally wouldn’t bother with this view but when eating the first half of the burger, I couldn’t taste any bacon. And this explains it – a small rectangle of bacon is all that’s in evidence here, and you can see the uneven distribution of the shallots too. Minus points for assembly and toppings, I think.

As to taste – this is, after all, the important thing…. the first bite is luxuriantly tender, the culinary equivalent of a goose down pillow, giving way to the lightest pressure with the barest of resistance. The cheese – definitely some variant of processed American – provides unguent umami, flavour and binding texture all in one. The bun provides starchy counterbalance but the bottom half is sodden and imploding in the juices from this very fatty patty. It’s not bad, but a second bite (with less cheese and no bacon) draws attention to the slight underseasoning and the lack of a crunch in the crust. Perhaps a feature of the dairy cow meat, there’s no textural contrast in the burger – it’s all soft – and the flavour, despite the dry ageing, is mild – without the funk you might expect from dry-aged cattle that’s been reared for its meat. The crunch, unexpectedly, comes from the shallots, which seem mildly pickled and provide a sour-sweetness and light crunch – not unpleasant, but I’d have preferred a more traditional gherkin/burger pickle, ideally something “home made” in a sweet brine. And when I eventually find the bacon – it’s a good compliment, a mild bacon that pairs well with the extremely salty cheese. The whole is well balanced – a good thing given the absence of any burger sauce, relish or other sauce I could detect, this could easily have tipped over into dead-sea levels of oversalted. But the bacon lacks any crunch – either sodden by the pickles and burger juices, or just too thick cut to crunch like American streaky bacon can (at its – debatable I’m sure – best).

It’s good, in all. Not great, and unsure if it is worth £19 plus 15% service (yep).

As to the sides/starters…

The glazed dairy cow baby back ribs look sumptuous, and just as well at £6.50 a rib. It’s hard to know what to expect but the tender, melt-off the bone meat speaks to a perfected cooking process. The flavour is all salt – its like it’s been marinaded then stewed in marmite; the flavour is not subtle at all. A single rib was plenty to start – any more and you might have had to ask for BBQ sauce…

Google tells me that the ‘Koffman’ in ‘Koffman fries’ refers to the potatoes used for chipping, and I wish I’d spent more time considering the potato texture and flavour now because honestly you’re kind of blown away by the seasoning. A mix of smoked paprika, salt, and maybe garlic or onion powder – I’m guessing from memory – these fries are crisp on the outside, soft and fluffy on the inside, and more generously portioned than it might looks. The savoury blast is immense, which seems a running theme of this menu, and I was glad of ketchup and mayo dunking pots to take the edge off. Good, all told.

To drink, I had the somewhat confounding rhubarb and custard spritz (£15) – feat No.3 gin, rhubarb, yogurt and vanilla. You’d be forgiven for expecting something at least somewhat creamy, but no, it was this (right):

The ping tinged drink is served short, in a glass flecked with rhubarb powder, which is irritating and keeps needing to be wiped off sticky fingers. It has a sweet/sour flavour that’s entirely pleasant, and a light carbonation that lifts the drink and establishes its place in a Summer drinks pantheon. It’s refreshing and light and very tasty. A couple of my friends had the frozen margarita – £14, served from a slushy machine – which was apparently very good also.

All told – a very pleasant experience of a Summer’s evening on the edge of Theatreland. It was definitely expensive – £60 a head all told – but I think if you’re less of a philistine than we are and after some of the more creative cuisine on offer, then it might have been a better all round experience. The hard sought reservation for burgers? Probably overkill. Though a couple of my friends ranked it amongst the best we’ve had on one of these evening excursions… I’m left feeling nostalgic for the Lord Wargrave pub.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5 – soggy bottom
Build – 2.5/5 – uneven toppings, meagre bacon, middling shallots
Burger – 4/5 – slightly underseasoned, undercrusted
Taste – 4/5 – the whole was better than the sum of its parts
Sides – 4.5/5 – Herr Koffman, I salute you
Value – 3/5 – maybe not great value for burgers.

Burger rating – 4/5 – it was good, but I’m honestly not in a hurry to have it again

The deets

Find it a little more than halfway down Haymarket towards the Mall; pop into the Haymarket Hotel bar for a digestif as we did and it’s a lovely way to spend a summer evening with friends. But I’d probably have something other than the burger, despite its positive attributes.

Spielburger, Everyman Cinema, Hampstead, London

May 31, 2024Posted in Bacon, Chain, Gourmety, london, Restaurant, ReviewsTagged Bacon, chorizo, cocktail, cured, dough balls, dry-aged beef, everyman cinema, fries, furiosa, hampstead, harissa mayo, london, mad max, pickle, potato scraps, pretty in pink, red leicester, skin-on fries, spielburgerLeave a comment

A messy delight

Burger source

The Everyman Cinema is a chain of privately owned upmarket cinemas that seems to have recognised that with streaming – cinemagoing needed to transform from transactional to experiential. Amazing, plush surroundings, brilliant staff, an attached restaurant in Spielburger, a good cocktail selection and more help justify the hefty ticket prices, table service (in the cinema, too!) and more. Going with my brother – both a fellow cinephile and a professional writer and producer – on one of his trips to the UK, made it a special treat.

The film? Furiosa: a Mad Max Saga. The burger? Wait and see.

The order

Eating with my brother is always a sharing experience. So we shared the 1216 – Spielburger’s messiest burger (we were offered – and accepted – it cooked medium), featuring dry-aged beef, cured bacon, harissa mayo, potato scraps (!) and red leicester cheese, served with fries. We also got some sides – mini chorizo, garlic dough balls and buttermilk fried chicken. To drink, I had a pretty in pink.

The meat of it

Let’s have a look.

It’s good presentation – gratuitous knife through the centre notwithstanding. glossy bun, melty cheese, scraps of potato everywhere… bacon luxuriating beyond the perimeter of the bun, and hints of freshness from the salad and pickle eking their way out.

In cross section…

The lighting, as it so often is for the express purpose of burger photography, was underwhelming. But you can still see – the bun, with its light crumb and glossy sheen, is holding up to a heft of a patty – at least 6oz, perhaps more. The meat is coarse ground, loosely packed, and was cooked medium. The harissa mayo is generous and leaking out, but there’s not too much grease; structural integrity is maintained.

First bite… the patty is slightly underseasoned, but very tender, and very tasty. The dry-aged funk comes through from the meat; the cheese lends an unguent, gooey bind, and the harissa mayo adds an ever-so-gentle heat. If the potato scraps were meant to add crunch, they didn’t; perhaps we left it too long after it was served to notice. The pickle was slight and brought intermittent sweet, sour brightness. The bacon added the needed salt but could have been slightly crispier (again, possibly our fault for taking too long with our side dishes). Despite the brilliant texture of the cheese, I tend to find Red Leicester too indistinct to cut through the flavour… but there was enough going on. The complexity worked, just, though it was bordering on chaotic energy, and I enjoyed my half of a 1216. Though I’d be tempted to go more basic on a return visit…

As to the sides, and the drink…

The buttermilk fried chicken was a little dry, but the dipping sauce (a garlicky yoghurt) balanced it out. The doughballs were dense, and well cooked, but the garlic butter was massively overseasoned. The chorizo – hot, rich, paprika-y – were also oversalted (and messy). But for the kind of food it was, it was hot, rich, tasty and filling.

The pretty in pink cocktail – berry gin, strawberry, coconut milk and lime – was a brilliant balance of sweet and sour (emphasis on the sweet, just to my liking).

All that food, a couple of cocktails, fabulous service – came to just under £60 including service. Not too bad given the cinema tickets themselves were rocking £45…!

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste – 4/5
Sides – 4/5 – perhaps being a little generous given the salt and dry-ness issues, but the fries were excellent

Value – 4/5 – decent for an upmarket place.

Burger rating – 4/5 – in the upper echelons of upmarket burgers; well cooked, great environs, fab service. A few small details and it good get into promotion territory.

The deets

There are Everymans all over. Check out the website for your local – the one in Hampstead is lush.

And the film? Other than some slightly excessively indulgent moments of dialogue – well, monologue really – for Chris Hemsworth, it’s fabulous. A really brilliantly executed prequel, peppered with spectacularly creative and choreographed action and moments of real heartbreak and poignancy, without ever dipping into twee hollywoodness.

The Breakfast Club, Southwark Street, London

May 23, 2024Posted in Bacon, london, RestaurantTagged applewood bacon, breakfast club, burger, caf, cafe, corn ribs, diner, fries, hash brown, london, pickled onions, review, roasted jalapenos, virgin mary sauceLeave a comment

Small but perfectly formed

Burger source

The Breakfast Club – proud purveyors of comfort food – is round the corner from my previous workplace, and I’d always looked into its crowded space when I went past hoping to be the kind of person who is organised enough to book a table at the popular breakfast/burger spot, but never had the wherewithal to do so. Meeting up with an old friend nearby, we strolled past and found it nearly empty and so seized the opportunity.

The restaurant itself – has café/diner vibes (it’s a caf, full stop, says its website) combined with a touch of speakeasy (there’s a password protected – literally – bar underneath the main restaurant). Menus are simple and options are limited, service is homely and brisk, and there’s a small – but decent – cocktail suggestion hinting at more to come downstairs. It was… cosy, in the low lighting, a nice respite from the summer rains spitting around irrepressibly outside.

The order

I had the bacon and applewood burger, which came with fresh lettuce, tomato, pickles, crisp bacon, smoked red cheddar, spicey roasted jalapenos, smashed ‘brown’ (hash brown?) pickled red onions bacon on the standard patty, all enclosed in a brioche bun and basted with ‘virgin mary’ mayo. We shared sides – £7 for two – corn ribs and fries. A club mai tai was my drink of choice.

The meat of it

First look – it’s a well made, fairly conventional looking diner-style burger. Controversially (for things that pass as controversial in the worlds of burger tasting and emoji design) the salad is atop the bacon, not protecting the lower bun from the meat juices. There’s a good melt on the cheese, a robust hash brown sits in the middle of it all, the salad looks bright and fresh, the crisp bacon is peeking out the side, and the bun has good height and a reassuring glisten.

In cross section… the melt is even more evident, as is the modest scale of the patty itself relative to the toppings. The generosity in the cheese serving is also clear, and the softness of the bun.

First bite, and I’m instantly hit with the salty umami of the cheese, the savoury crisp of the bacon, and sweet brine from the pickle. A gentle burn emerges, presumably from the tabasco in the virgin mary sauce, possibly from the jalapeno. It’s actually a delightful contrast, and far from seeming stingy, the ratios are perfectly balanced. The patty – not quite crisp enough to be a smashburger, perhaps, again seems fairly diner-standard, but is perfectly seasoned, and in combination with the fresh, sweet salad, gives a delightful mouthful in every bite. The cheese is sharp and unguent, not quite as melty as American slices, but adding mouthfeel and saltness with every bite. The hash brown adds a small amount of crunch and a good amount to the mass and ratios in the burger.

To the last bite, this was a delight. Really a brilliant balance of standard burger construction. The bun – despite the lack of shielding from the burger – held up to the end. Highly recommend.

On the sides… the corn ribs (3 to a basket, a bit pricey) were fine but not surprising – just a standard corn in the cob cut into pieces for lols and fashion. They hadn’t take the opportunity to crisp it on the grill and add texture, or season and add flavour, so it really was just a pretty decent, but very standard corn (off the) cob. The fries – perfectly cooked, brilliantly seasons, crisp and fresh with starchy potato flavour in every bite – were also nigh on perfect.

The mai tai – was faultless. Sweet and sharp, perfectly balanced, a sweet dream in a glass. I’m not a mai tai pro but suspect that all their cocktails are solid.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 5/5
Build – 5/5 – in spite of the positioning of the salad, it looked and worked perfectly.
Burger – 4.5/5 – really with the toppings it was a perfect mouthful every time
Taste – 4.5/5 – hard to fault
Sides – 4/5 – bigger portion and more creative corn ribs would have earned this a 5
Value – 3/5 – £19.50 for burger and two sides, ish, feels a lot given the size of everything, but I might just be in denial about the cost of living. Add on £10 for the cocktail and service… not a cheap night out

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – Very close to an ideal burger, of the type. Would recommend.

The deets

Minutes from London Bridge and slightly more minutes to Southwark, this is on a bustling corner opposite one of the exits from Borough Market. Well worth a stop in; the pancakes looked lush too.

Hidden Langkawi, Pantai Tengah, Langkawi

April 7, 2024April 7, 2024Posted in International, RestaurantTagged american cheese, burger, cheese sauce, hidden langkawi, kraft cheese, langkawi, malaysia, pepper, popcorn chicken pizza, review, skin on fries, sunset, turkey hamLeave a comment

Savoury pepper-bomb, not for the faint of heart

Burger source

I didn’t intend to have three burgers in a row, but I got slightly egged into it by the cousins I was holidaying with and it did, indeed, look awesome when I saw it on someone else’s plate so…

The order

Well, I did decide to embrace some variety so – alongside the burger, which was:

I mean who can argue with any of that, really? The eponymous beef burger featured double 3.5oz patties, crispy turkey ham, American cheese, cheese sauce and skin-on fries.

I split the burger with my cousin-in-law… and we also had…

That’s right, no less than the house favourite, the snowy popcorn chicken pizza, replete with pizza sauce, mozzarella, garlic, cabbage, popcorn chicken and spicy sauce. Not going to review this in any detail, but I’ll give you a sense of it, I promise.

The meat of it

The fries look astounding. The burger, unnecessarily staked with a serrated steak knife, has a coating of the cheese sauce, the melty slice of American cheese protecting the salad, in turn protecting the lower bun. The turkey ham, controversially, sits between the patties. The layering is comically random, but… Let’s see the cross section.

The burger is well done – not in a good way. Some significant resistance to cutting through it. The bun is soft but holds its structural integrity.

First bite… brilliant , good seasoning on the patty, a wall of umami from the cheese/burger sauce… initial thought is YES, this is good. This is rapidly followed by a WALL of black pepper, which I think probably made up 5% of the mass of the burger. Ludicrously peppery – so much so that the kids (who had ordered a ‘plain’ version of the burger, because, y’know, kids) couldn’t eat it. Pepper notwithstanding, the burger was too well done, the sweet of the salad wasn’t sufficient for the savoury kick in the head, the balance of the whole thing was off. The initial positive reaction to the umami, to the texture, fell apart a bit on persistent eating and I’m really glad I only had half a burger to get through. The turkey ham – wasn’t crisp. But added even more salt.

The strongest redeeming feature? The superb skin on fries. Crisp on the outside, squidgy in the middle, perfectly seasoned – just a joy. Wonderful dipped in the (slightly sweet) local mayo or the ketchup.

This was such a shame. The concept is STRONG – crispy, spicy popcorn chicken bites, with a hint of sweetness. Crunchy – but not chewy – cabbage worked surprisingly well as a compliment. But a hopelessly soggy base, a massively overgenerous helping of mozzarella, left to something of a mess. Half the pizza went uneaten (though we did polish off all the popcorn chicken).

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 3/5
Build – 2/5
Burger – 25/5
Taste – 2.5/5
Sides – 4/5 – really excellent fries
Value – 4/5 – RM38 is reasonable, in the area and in general for this amount of food.

Burger rating – 2.5/5 – the pepper means I cannot recommend this. They need to rebalance the seasoning, modify the cook so it’s not so crunchy, and think about pickles or a sweeter burger sauce to event it all out.

The deets

Just up the beach from the Parkroyal on Pantai Tengah, the sunsets at this restaraunt really are the main event. Absolutely beautiful.