smashburger – Burger Source

Delightfully messy double smashburger

Burger source

You might call it mindlessly doomscrolling top-10-burger lists, I call it RESEARCH and I do it in the name of science and the thousand or so people a month who seem to enjoy these burger reviews. You’re all very, very welcome.

Anyway, 15 clickbaity lists of burgers later, I finally find a burger that meets my criteria of being not-in-Hackney-and-therefore-convenient-for-a-midweek-meet-up-with-a-mate (honestly, Hackney seems to be some kind of burger utopia judging by these lists), and also sounding fab. I give you, Saucy Bastards at the Newman Arms, a few minutes from Tottenham Court Road station in the most central of central London spots.

They promise dry aged burgers, snacks, sauces & more sauces, courtesy of a Michelin trained chef, and guarantee a messy shirt at the end of it. Did they deliver? Did they ever.

The order

The burger part of the menu is relatively simple. There’s a choice of a double smash burger (the saucy bastard), a crispy chicken burger (the cocky bastard) and a veggie burger… called… no, you got it. That’s it. Naturally I went for the saucy bastard with extra bacon.

Because we were feeling indulgent, we also went with a “small plate” of Korean fried chicken, and the off-print but on-digital menu of jalapeño poppers. For fries, we shared a “salted” fries and a Cajun fries. Yes, we got too much food for two people, but again – in the NAME OF SCIENCE.

The meat of it

Let’s start with the burger.

This is pretty neat. Hot, soft bun; precisely smashed burger patties with amazing crunchy, crenellated edges – a bit like a sort of Slartibartfast had really put his Magarathean magic to work in designing fjord-esque edges in the smash process. The cheese is perfectly melted – and you can probably just about make out the slather of burger sauce and the hefty chunks of pickle in there. Let’s take in the cross section.

Channeling my best Nessa, I think I’d characterise this as ‘tidy’. It’s perfectly stacked – burger sauce, pickles, patties, cheese melt, and a wide layer of crisp bacon before you hit the top bun. You can see how thin and wide those patties have been smashed. The drizzle of grease and burger sauce also promises flavour… does it deliver?

First bite… crunch – beautifully crisp, well seasoned patty, with a delightful dry-aged funk. Double crunch from the crisp, salty, generous bacon topping, adding even more umami. Soft, open crumbed bread just about holds it together. Thick, sweet pickle cuts the savoury contrast down, and smooth vinegary, luscious burger sauce binds and moisturises. Is this a burger or a beauty product, you might ask? If beauty products were anything like this, I’d spend a lot more time wearing a face mask, that’s for sure. As it is, I have terrible skin but an amazingly refined burger palate.

In short; it’s hard not to want to inhale this burger. Every bite leaves you wanting more until you’re uncomfortably full. It’s perfectly formed – with an amazing flavour profile, incredibly high quality ingredients, and does indeed deliver on the promise of mess. Highly recommended.

As to the sides…

To each in turn.

The fries – well seasoned, but unevenly cooked, these were a bit disappointing. My friend Matt had the Cajun fries, where were more uniformly crisp on the outside, squidgy on the inside, whereas some of these were, in fact, soggy. The Cajun seasoning didn’t add much flavour but they were a better portion.
The poppers come in a light, sort of tempura batter, with a lovely goo from the cheese and a light pop of spice from the mild pepper. The sweet chilli added a good flavour contrast. But there were a lot of these; probably share between four, especially if you’re having another side.
The Korean wings were a little disappointing. They were over fried, so whilst the coating had a delightful crunch, the meat was dry and the sauce didn’t compensate – it was slightly saccharine in sweetness and underspiced for heat, IMO, though I’m hardly an expert in the ways of Korean fried chicken.
We had a ‘flight’ of sauces for £4. The jalepeno relish was more sweetness, and the ‘Hot Seoul Sauce’ was again too sugary, but with an unexpectedly bitter soy sauce edge. The ranch was the best of the three, smooth and luscious, would have again.

Overall, this was a great experience. The pub had a fab vibe and it felt like quite a nice take on a traditional boozer, freshened for the 21st century. Good selection of drinks on tap downstairs, QR code table service for the food from a resident burger artiste upstairs, very nice. Can recommend.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4.5/5 – occasionally gave way to the heft of grease and sauce but otherwise aces
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste – 4.5/5 – just a smidge too much seasoning for me
Sides – 3/5 – burgers are better than their sides, though the sides are decent

Value – 4/5 – £30 for burger and sides; would have been more reasonable if we’d ordered a more reasonable amount of food, but we (inevitably) got carried away.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – would go back tomorrow. Night. When I’m less full.

The deets

You can find them on Rathbone Street or in Islington, as well as on Deliveroo. Deets here. Recommend.

A salt-tastic melty smashburger, but not the best SFO has to offer

Burger source

Chef Adam Rosenblum, a respected chef with an number of different restaurant ventures, decided to add to the morass of upper-mid-range burger joints in town, like Super Duper burgers, with a smash burger. Ground on site, the fresh, well-seasoned patties are cooked to order; the patties are squashed down on a hot grill, crisp up in their own fat, topped with cheese which is then melted both into the burger and the bun before assembly.

The website tells more about the burgers (fresh hormone-free beef sourced from Five dot Ranch and ground on site) and the bread (baked exclusively for Popsons by San Francisco bakery Petit Pain).

They sound and look great.

The order

I went for a double cheese burger with bacon, and a naked fries $17 with service.

The meat of it

This is not a tidy burger. The stack is wobbling and sliding around, but really the issues there are all cosmetic. Once you pick it up and right what was lost in the assembly, the burger doesn’t suffer for it.

First bite and you’re hit with a salt explosion; the bacon was totally unnecessary as the super-salty, super-melty, super-plentiful American cheese slams your palate like a speedboat filled with salt racing through the Dead Sea. My fault for adding it but… the bacon is thick, chewy and crisp -perfect, really – and the salad, whilst fresh, is completely overwhelmed. There’s a smear of burger sauce under the patties; it drips out slowly with the excess grease from the burger. Remarkably, the petit pain bun holds up; it has a sturdiness to it, and good supporting flavour – love a seeded bun. There’s something gloriously indulgent about this.

That said… the crust on the meat was disappointing on a smash burger – it was a little soft, suspect the grill plate just wasn’t hot enough to get the real char going – and I should probably have added some ketchup to cut the salt down a little. Or Popsons could have gone for a little pickle and/or relish and/or sweeter burger sauce to bring out the flavour contrast a bit.

The fries are fairly unremarkable; better than bog-standard McD’s frozen fries, you can taste real potato in them – but naked, the seasoning is decent if unexceptional and there’s nothing to write home about regarding the flavour. Acceptable filling, but not even a guest-star in the show. The ketchup is (unnecessarily) fancy ‘Sir Kensington’ something or other. I’d rather have had Heinz.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5
Build – 3.5/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste – 4/5
Sides – 3/5 – nothing to see here
Value – 3.5/5 – $17 with a small tip and no drink – this place is more expensive than Super Duper, a (very) nearby Smashburger alternative.

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – whilst there’s no question it’s a good burger, it doesn’t quite deliver on the promise and for the money, I’d probably rather have a Super Duper burger (and a drink).

The deets

Near the junction of Market and 6th Street. You can’t miss it.

Tag: smashburger

Saucy B*stards at the Newman Arms, Fitzrovia, London

Popsons, 998 Market Street, San Francisco