ranch sauce – Burger Source

Delightfully messy double smashburger

Burger source

You might call it mindlessly doomscrolling top-10-burger lists, I call it RESEARCH and I do it in the name of science and the thousand or so people a month who seem to enjoy these burger reviews. You’re all very, very welcome.

Anyway, 15 clickbaity lists of burgers later, I finally find a burger that meets my criteria of being not-in-Hackney-and-therefore-convenient-for-a-midweek-meet-up-with-a-mate (honestly, Hackney seems to be some kind of burger utopia judging by these lists), and also sounding fab. I give you, Saucy Bastards at the Newman Arms, a few minutes from Tottenham Court Road station in the most central of central London spots.

They promise dry aged burgers, snacks, sauces & more sauces, courtesy of a Michelin trained chef, and guarantee a messy shirt at the end of it. Did they deliver? Did they ever.

The order

The burger part of the menu is relatively simple. There’s a choice of a double smash burger (the saucy bastard), a crispy chicken burger (the cocky bastard) and a veggie burger… called… no, you got it. That’s it. Naturally I went for the saucy bastard with extra bacon.

Because we were feeling indulgent, we also went with a “small plate” of Korean fried chicken, and the off-print but on-digital menu of jalapeño poppers. For fries, we shared a “salted” fries and a Cajun fries. Yes, we got too much food for two people, but again – in the NAME OF SCIENCE.

The meat of it

Let’s start with the burger.

This is pretty neat. Hot, soft bun; precisely smashed burger patties with amazing crunchy, crenellated edges – a bit like a sort of Slartibartfast had really put his Magarathean magic to work in designing fjord-esque edges in the smash process. The cheese is perfectly melted – and you can probably just about make out the slather of burger sauce and the hefty chunks of pickle in there. Let’s take in the cross section.

Channeling my best Nessa, I think I’d characterise this as ‘tidy’. It’s perfectly stacked – burger sauce, pickles, patties, cheese melt, and a wide layer of crisp bacon before you hit the top bun. You can see how thin and wide those patties have been smashed. The drizzle of grease and burger sauce also promises flavour… does it deliver?

First bite… crunch – beautifully crisp, well seasoned patty, with a delightful dry-aged funk. Double crunch from the crisp, salty, generous bacon topping, adding even more umami. Soft, open crumbed bread just about holds it together. Thick, sweet pickle cuts the savoury contrast down, and smooth vinegary, luscious burger sauce binds and moisturises. Is this a burger or a beauty product, you might ask? If beauty products were anything like this, I’d spend a lot more time wearing a face mask, that’s for sure. As it is, I have terrible skin but an amazingly refined burger palate.

In short; it’s hard not to want to inhale this burger. Every bite leaves you wanting more until you’re uncomfortably full. It’s perfectly formed – with an amazing flavour profile, incredibly high quality ingredients, and does indeed deliver on the promise of mess. Highly recommended.

As to the sides…

To each in turn.

The fries – well seasoned, but unevenly cooked, these were a bit disappointing. My friend Matt had the Cajun fries, where were more uniformly crisp on the outside, squidgy on the inside, whereas some of these were, in fact, soggy. The Cajun seasoning didn’t add much flavour but they were a better portion.
The poppers come in a light, sort of tempura batter, with a lovely goo from the cheese and a light pop of spice from the mild pepper. The sweet chilli added a good flavour contrast. But there were a lot of these; probably share between four, especially if you’re having another side.
The Korean wings were a little disappointing. They were over fried, so whilst the coating had a delightful crunch, the meat was dry and the sauce didn’t compensate – it was slightly saccharine in sweetness and underspiced for heat, IMO, though I’m hardly an expert in the ways of Korean fried chicken.
We had a ‘flight’ of sauces for £4. The jalepeno relish was more sweetness, and the ‘Hot Seoul Sauce’ was again too sugary, but with an unexpectedly bitter soy sauce edge. The ranch was the best of the three, smooth and luscious, would have again.

Overall, this was a great experience. The pub had a fab vibe and it felt like quite a nice take on a traditional boozer, freshened for the 21st century. Good selection of drinks on tap downstairs, QR code table service for the food from a resident burger artiste upstairs, very nice. Can recommend.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4.5/5 – occasionally gave way to the heft of grease and sauce but otherwise aces
Build – 5/5
Burger – 5/5
Taste – 4.5/5 – just a smidge too much seasoning for me
Sides – 3/5 – burgers are better than their sides, though the sides are decent

Value – 4/5 – £30 for burger and sides; would have been more reasonable if we’d ordered a more reasonable amount of food, but we (inevitably) got carried away.

Burger rating – 4.5/5 – would go back tomorrow. Night. When I’m less full.

The deets

You can find them on Rathbone Street or in Islington, as well as on Deliveroo. Deets here. Recommend.

Capable halal double smash burger, enormous fries, with added gaming nostalgia

Burger source

Clearly there’s a growing movement to serve the halal market and these guys are doing a classy job. A business focussed on high quality (and certified) ingredients, there’s clearly a great deal of pride going into the sourcing and production of the food here. More on their approach, food sources, etc. here – James arranged for us to sample their wares at their residency at NQ 64, an arcade gaming bar near Old Street.

Truly, the geeks have inherited the earth. VIBES!

The order

I had the “baconed” (their cheesed with added turkey bacon) with skin on fries, for £14.40. Drinks at the bar were from NQ64, not Burgerism, but were not unreasonable by London prices – £6 pints, £10+ cocktails. The burger’s full description:

2 smashed patties, cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion and Burgerism sauce in a seeded brioche bun + added turkey bacon.

The fries – self identify as “double fried skin-on chips tossed in our almost spicy seasoning.”

Decent online ordering experience. Let’s get into it.

The meat of it

Presentation is quite fast foodie, though that’s no criticism. An absolute heft of fries (left unfinished), a pot of tasty ranch (£1) and the burger, in their respective pots, well packaged, eventually announced themselves to us via text after we used their online ordering system. Bonus sweetie provided a free pudding (the desserts on their menu weigh in at a chunky £7 or so, so you’d have to be VERY hungry to need them).

A closer look…

It’s not a tidy stack. Massive salad overspill, escaping pickles, but… a nice looking bun, good looking patties/bacon, a good melt on the cheese… Colour me intrigued.

Looks improve with cross section, but it’s a messy stack to handle due to the absolute explosion of salad. Look at the detritus on the wrapper, it’s mad.

First bite… the bun’s untoasted, but that’s not a crime; it’s soft and pliant and holds up to the heft of the double stack. The cheese – American – is melty and unctuous. The turkey bacon adds bite and salt and isn’t noticeably different in flavour contribution to regular bacon. The salad is fresh if present in needlessly voluminous quantities. The burger sauce is reminiscent of big mac sauce – sweet and savoury and adding a helpful moisture. The beef – is decent, well cooked – decent crust but not overcooked to a hockey puck, a light shade of pink in the middle, good bite and well seasoned. The pickles add occasional shards of sweet and sour, the salad is fresh, crisp and sweet. And there’s a light spice to it. It’s very good – improved maybe with some dry-aging on the meat, a toasted bun, and better stacking, but these are points to finesse – on the whole, this is solid.

The fries, and the ranch? In a word?

Lush. Lovely spice profile – ‘almost spicy’ I think translates to salt, pepper, paprika and garlic powder, but I could be wrong. Consistently crispy without being crisps, soft and fluffy in the middle. Amazing dipped in the ranch, which smoothed off the slightly overgenerous salt profile. One portion between two is plenty, though, unless you’re very hungry…

And the drinks – I had a ‘Mega Daisy’ – all the drinks are named for geek pop culture and video games, and this is NQ 64 now, not Burgerism – was a brilliant twist on an Aperol Spritz, with both prosecco and Aperol, but also lychee liqueur and some other bits. Not as sweet as it sounds and very refreshing.

We had a go on some classic games around the edges – Dance Dance Revolution, Streets of Rage, Street Fighter, Out Run 2, Ghost Squad – it’s amazing. And the crowd – such as it was of a Wednesday evening – was relaxed and diverse. A good all round cobination.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5 – better if toasted
Build – 3/5 – messy
Burger – 4/5
Taste – 4/5
Sides – 4/5 – really good fries, slightly oversalted
Value – 4/5 – £14.40 for burger and fries (enough for two!) and a pot of sauce. Take-out style so tip not required. Decent value if a little basic in aspect.

Burger rating – 4/5 – A good option. Would go again.

The deets

Branches in Salford, Liverpool and beyond, as well as in Shoreditch. Available by Ubereats if you live in the right places. If you’re in London and are a child of the 70s/80s, check them at at NQ 64, just a fab fibe with paid for arcade games (buy tokens at the bar) and free console games on offer, alongside a brilliant selection of drinks for those inclined – non alcoholic versions available too. More info here.

Tag: ranch sauce

Saucy B*stards at the Newman Arms, Fitzrovia, London

Burgerism @ NQ64, Old Street, London