recipe – Burger Source

Dry, overpriced cardboard with undercooked fries

Burger source

Not gonna lie – we were disappointed that T2 didn’t offer the delights of Wagamama. Dubious as it is as a source of authentic East Asian cuisine, my kids love it and I will basically be delighted with almost any variation on a katsu curry. But options at T2 for a proper hot meal are relatively limited and it was this, a pub, or an airport grade “smokehouse”. So we went to Jones the Grocer.

The order

The burgers people were eating looked great. And I was drawn in by the marketing materials around the venue. So the ultimate mr. jones it was – a brisket and wagyu beef burger, topped with streaky bacon, mixed leaves, cheddar, a seeded bun, skin-on fries, and served with something called a bois boudran sauce (apparently ketchup, worcester sauce and shallots – though I’ve read of variants including tabasco, vinegar and other eccentricities).

The meat of it

Let’s take a look.

So far, so decent. Salad in the right place, good melt on the cheese, intriguing looking bun, skin on fries… I’m not regretting my life choices, yet. Did it last?

It did not. The bun wasn’t particularly airy and flattened on contact with a knife. The meat is dryer than the sun and practically breaks in half, despite its coarse grind. It’s a double patty in there but there’s no cheese between the smash burgers (rookie error), and way too much on top. The (streaky?) bacon looks flaccid and pale; the leaves token and sad.

Let’s not judge a book by its cover though; first taste.

Oh no, this book was exactly as bad as it looked. The meat doesn’t melt in your mouth, it sort of crumbles in dry, mealy mouthfuls with each bite. The cheese has an acrid taste; like it was a sharp cheddar that had grown an unhealthy amount of pinmould on its surface before it was melted over the burger, the process entirely failing to mask the sharp sourness of the decay at all. The bun is inoffensive; the bacon adds unwanted salty flavour over the cheese and the fancy ketchup is nowhere to be found. If not for the fact that I wanted to be full up before the flight, and I’m incapable of wasting food and at this point too British to send it back, I would have left it fully uneaten.

Redeemed by those tasty looking fries in any way?

No. Not even a little bit. The majority had the harsh bite of raw potato; they were underseasoned and undercooked, and most went uneaten.

I think I got unlucky though; the kids burgers (similar in every way but less fancy) were apparently good, and their fries were well cooked. But goddamn it, Jones, for £19 you’d expect better, even at the airport.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 3/5
Build – 4/5
Burger – 0/5
Taste – 1/5 – there are tastier hockey pucks, I suspect
Sides – 1/5 – undercooked and unseasoned
Value – 1/5 – you won’t want to eat after this. And possibly not during it.

Burger rating – 0.5/5 – the presentation was nice?

The deets

If you’re at terminal 2, I very much recommend you don’t have this. Some of the other dishes looked better but looks are clearly deceiving.

Delicious, distinctive smash burger

Burger source

This is the eco-friendly, posh-ish take on the smash burger by michelin-starred chef Jordan Bailey.

This is how they describe their ambitions:

Heard was born out of Jordan Bailey ’s desire to make an everyday classic exceptional. Two Michelin-starred chef, Jordan uses his expertise and relationships with top suppliers to make burgers that are deceptively simple yet made with the same care and precision as a Michelin-starred dish.

Creating the perfect burger starts with the ingredients – and we only use the best. All produce is ethically and locally sourced – a transparent supply chain from farm to bite.

Our British beef comes from a cooperative of regenerative farms. Aged for a minimum of 35 days, for the ultimate texture and taste.

Sounds regeneratalicious? Wait and see.

The order

It was a tough choice. My usual rule is to find something that as closely as possible resembles a cheese and bacon burger, and have that as the reliable benchmark. But, somewhat ostentatiously (and to the possible tears of Uncle Roger), there is only bacon jam available at this fine establishment. So I went for the eponymous “The Heard” – apparently Jordan’s Pick, The OG! Which comes replete with Jalapeño hot honey, Ogleshield [cheese], white onion, their secret Heard sauce and pickles. I’m not writing Heard with a fullstop after it because it’s just too much. For a side, I went for the also eponymous Heard fries,
seasoned with Heard beef fat and herb salt. I have not experienced tallow as a seasoning before – let’s see if I’m, erm, here for it.

The meat of it

Let’s have a look.

Was the first thing you noticed how small the patties were relative to the bun? Because that was the first thing I noticed. But the second thing I noticed was that the two, crisp patties were coated with a gooey melt of Ogleshield, and the fries look absolutely perfect – crisp, hot, well-seasoned. The orange-red hue of the Heard sauce – also looked spot on.

In cross section (via chomp, not knife as there was no cutlery provided, not even for ready money…. although possibly there was, we didn’t offer any readies)… well, you can see the perfect melt of the cheese continue. The double, crisp and crinkly patty smash made up of coarse ground, dry-aged beef. The chunks of pickle, the drip of tallow and hot honey, the light toasting of the bun, the fine grain and airiness in said bun… there’s very little else to fault aesthetically.

First bite (well, third by this point but who’s counting?) – every bit leaves you the foundational structure of the bread, the umami and slight funk of the beef, accompanied by a light crunch; the sharp, acidic savouriness of the oglefield; a hint of sweetness from the honey and pickle, alongside a crisp freshness from the latter, backed by a soupcon of heat. It’s an absolutely glorious combination and only really limited by the bun-to-bread ratio – this little fella is chunkier than it looks and will not leave you hungry.

Especially not when accompanies by the Heard fries. These are a glorious thing; crunchy on the outside, squidgy in the middle; despite somehow being seasoned with tallow, these are dry – none of the greasiness of chip shop chips. Perfectly seasoned; glorious dunked in the sweet/savoury Heard sauce (think – big mac sauce but better in every way).

It’s a simply glorious combination, well executed. I’ll forgive all the ostentation in the website copywriting – go to Heard, you will not spend a better £17 on a burger and fries. My only complaint (which I did voice) was that the Heard sauce needed to come in bigger tubs.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4.5/5 – oversized but otherwise perfect in every way
Build – 4.5/5 – per aforementioned bun comment, and perhaps a smidge too much sharp cheese
Burger – 4.5/5 – a fine, fine smashburger
Taste – 4.5/5 – so close to perfect
Sides – 5/5 – these very possibly take the crown for best fries in London
Value – 4.5/5 – £17 for a burger this good and fries this extraordinary, generously proportioned in the case of the latter, is a fair price in these inflationary times. Well done the (posh) lad.

Burger rating – 5/5 – I’m giving Heard > than sum of its points scoring.

The deets

It’s just round the corner from Flat Iron Square, between London Bridge and Southwark tubes. You could miss it, as I did, but keep walking where Google tells you to and you’ll get close. Or find it via their website, here.

Tag: recipe

Jones the Grocer, Terminal 2, Heathrow

Heard Burgers, Flat Iron Square, London