Tag: Outside London

The Globe, Alresford, Hampshire

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Succulent, oversized, unwieldy delight

Burger source

My youngest daughter had an excursion on the Watercress Line with Brownies so I went in search of a place to eat, read, work for a bit whilst waiting for her return, and the well-reviewed Globe Pub, tucked slightly off the high street, promised relative calm, had good reviews and free WiFi, and it turned out… had a burger on the menu. Call it fate or call it good fortune, either way… I’ll take it.

The order

It’s literally just called ‘the burger’, but features quite a lot; wagyu beef patties, smoked bacon, Monterey Jack cheese and burger sauce, served with fries and a tiny pot of celeriac remoulade.

The meat of it

This is a behemoth. Towering, entirely out of proportion with itself, in addition to the advertised ingredients I can also see lettuce, a slice of tomato and chunky gherkins in abundance. The bun seems a token gesture next to what look like two five ounce patties, covered with a generous coating of Jack, and the whole thing seems to need the skewer to hold it in place.

In cross section…

The patties seem beautifully cooked, a brilliant shade of pink. They are tender; the bun, toasted on both sides, seems to hold up well. The structural integrity seems to hold up, against all odds.

First bite… and structural integrity collapses, the burgers sliding off each other and the salad, all of it slopping messily onto the plate. But the taste… is good. Whilst the patty has no char, it is tender and melts in your mouth. There’s no hint of dry-aged funk, this tastes like literally fresh meat, ground coarsely, and lovingly but loosely packed into a patty. The slight under seasoning is somewhat compensated for by the tasty cheese; the salad adds brightness and there’s a sweet and sour hit from the pickle. It’s good…

On further eating – now with cutlery on a disassembled burger – the bun continues to hold up, providing starchy counterbalance to the melange of flavours; the slick, sweet and savoury burger sauce provides moisture, the smoked bacon an occasional umami explosion and crunch, helping the unguent cheese to compensate for the burgers slight under-seasoning. The fact both patties are covered in Jack, and the buns have a generous amount of burger sauce across them, means even somewhat deconstructed – every mouthful of the burger is reasonably well balanced. It’s a nice experience… though I do have notes – specifically 1/ char the patties like you mean it! 2/ go heavier on the seasoning 3/ one 6-8oz patty would have done better for this style of burger than 2x 4-5 oz ones – you only ever want a double patty with a smash burger, IMHO – 4/ reconsider your bun/burger pairing and 5/ invest a bit more in the pickles too – make them yourselves, in a lighter brine, and slice them thinner.

On the sides… the fries were… fine. Well seasoned, crispy, but thin cut frozen chip variety. Nothing to write home about but perfectly pleasant dumped in either ketchup and mayo.

The celeriac slaw… was sour, sweet, savoury and crunchy all in one. It has a pickled undertone, possibly from a generous portion of capers that were in the tiny pot with the rest of them. It was interesting… but not something I’d rush back for.

The service… was outstanding. I was warmly welcomed without a booking, given a table, had my order taken within minutes, and repeatedly checked on with warmth and grace. The locals were full of warmth of good humour, there were good Christmas tunes on… all in all, it’s a lovely pub.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  3.5/5
Build – 3/5
Burger – 4/5
Taste –  4/5
Sides – 3/5 – 
Value – 4/5 – £18 for burger and side, ish.

Burger rating – 4/5 – actually more than the sum of its parts, this one. Would recommend.

The deets

Find the 15th Century Pub as you drive into Alresford, or via its website here.

The Ship Inn, Caerlon, Wales

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Well seasoned, overpriced, oversized pub burger with amazing chips

Burger source

I’m going to be honest – we were trying to get into the incredibly well reviewed Los Reyes Tapas and Wine Bar on our friends trip to Caerlon. But the also well reviewed Ship Inn had space for us and had a number of burgers on its menu, so that determined both where we were going and what I was having.

The order

Expectations were relatively low – this is a pub, it was going to be a pub burger, but the fact there were three beef burgers (and two chicken burgers) on the menu strongly implied some craft. I opted – not to get the chilli con carne topped burger, and not to get the single bacon cheese burger – the smash burger I hoped would be more forgiving of the inevitable overcooking these burgers would have. It came with fries, we added onion rings, and we drank unspeakably saccharine drinks that are probably best not spoken of.

The meat of it

Decent plating, but the stack is clearly unstable. The patties are immensely oversized and not credibly smashed, the salad has literally put the whole thing on tilt… and there’s a healthy heft of interesting looking chips to be had.

The bun is great. Toasted on the inside but soft, whilst holding (just) the behemoth of the stack. The ratios are clearly off – wobbly, uneven salad distribution. The bacon is charred but not crisp, the cheese is melted, the burgers are fairly standard pub-style burgers and not noticeably smashed…

First taste – incredibly well seasoned, tasty bite. It is dry and a bit chewy but the umami hit kind of makes it worth it. A brilliant sweet relish tempers it and it’s quite pleasurable, if not particularly exceptional. Probably didn’t need to be a double, given it was regular burgers that were squished, at best, rather than smaller beef patties smashed and crisped on a griddle.

The fries were brilliant. Cut with a weird cutter that gave them vast surface area, they were crisp, well seasoned, and fluffy on the inside. Pillowy pockets, delicious dunked in mayo and/or ketchup.

The onion rings were tempura battered, large, thick slices of sweet white onion. Slightly underseasoned (easily remedied) – they were lush. Crunch, crisp, sweet, savoury, wonderful.

Monkey finger rating

Bun – 4/5
Build – 2/5
Burger – 2.5/5
Taste – 3/5
Sides – 4.5/5 – fries and onion rings both brilliant
Value – 2/5 – £19 for burger and fries in South Wales is crazy.

Burger rating – 3/5 – get the single cheese burger and you probably gain half a point, and value ratings.

The deets

Smack bang in the middle of Caerlon. Find it here.

Hunworth Bell, Hunworth, Norfolk

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Enjoyable despite its limitations

Burger source

The Hunny Bell is a local favourite, in the middle of nowhere in rural Norfolk. Rated highly on Tripadvisor, and by locals we know, it was a fun family meal out.

The order

I hadn’t intended to have a second burger in our holiday week, but the description of the HB double cheeseburger, topped with Emmental, served with onion rings, slaw, on a brioche and smoked bacon… well, it just sounded great. So I had to give it a go. We shared a carafe of Sea Change Negroamaro, a red wine whose billing features environmetnal activism, with a proportion of profits going to dealing with ocean plastics. Sold.

The meat of it

Let’s look at the main picture again.

The plating is tidy but a close inspection will show – a burnt brioche, unnecessary onion rings and a burnt edging on the bacon that bodes poorly… but it looks well assembled, and I’m intrigued.

In cross section, the errors compound themselves. These are thick patties, but cooked well done. They are far too big for the burger. The emmental is well melted and there’s an intriguing layer of sauce on the bottom bun… so, on to the taste.

Well, the burger is well seasoned. The crisp bacon adds excellent umami. The vegetables are crisp, fresh and sweet. The patties are a little dry, but the spicy mayo adds the required moisture and a lovely depth of flavour. There’s a wonderful smokiness to the whole thing.

Then… the whole thing kind of slides off the romaine slice and tomatoes at the base… leaving, in short, a mess:

The rest of it had to be eaten with cutlery, in two halves, split top and bottom. Ketchup helped balance the half without the spicy mayo, and yet somehow, the whole thing kept me wanting more. Despite almost everything going wrong with it, I still kind of enjoyed it. Though I think next time, the belly pork Amanda had is more likely to be on my order card.

The sides? The fries were well seasoned, standard french fries, but slightly undercooked. The slaw was soft – lacking all freshness and crispness – the mayo / dressing was just too heavy. But the onion rings were near-paragons of the form – lovely, crisp, well seasoned batter, sweet onion within… if they were a little greasy.

Giving notes on the whole dish:

  1. Don’t burn the bun
  2. Shrink the patties – 3oz each is plenty, 4oz each was too much
  3. Switch to a patty smash. higher fat ratio, melt cheese on each half as part of the build
  4. Go heavier on the delicious, animal-style sauce, consider adding some chopped pickle into it too for a bright, sweet crunch amidst it all
  5. Shred lettuce for a more stable base – the single leaf of romaine is pretty in theory, but irritating in practice
  6. Swap out the emmental for a sharp local cheddar
  7. Double fry the chips
  8. Find a new slaw recipe. It was bad.
  9. More onion rings. Because why not?

And the wine? Delicious. In both form and function. Highly recommend.

Monkey finger rating

Bun –  2.5/5
Burger – 3.5/5
Taste –  3.5/5
Sides – 3/5 – the onion rings and wine redeem the fries and slaw somewhat 
Value – 3/5 – £14.50 for burger and fries. Wine and other dishes reasonable.

Burger rating – 3.5/5 – really much more enjoyable than it should have been

The deets

The food, service, ambience etc., at the Hunny Bell were all brilliant. The burger isn’t the best but everything else comes highly recommended. Visit if you’re in the region of Holt in Norfolk at any point.